“Dane, my brother, and Juliet, they rescued me. I think that Dane asked Juliet to marry him just after that. She risked her life to save mine.”
He stopped looking down at Charlie, her face gathered in pain. “I think you’re lucky to have such a wonderful sister-in-law join your family.”
“I am,” she answered. They’d reached the top of the bluffs, about to head down the path to the beach. “And yet, sometimes I think that I’ll lose everyone I love.”
Raithe squeezed her fingers in his. He was beginning to understand the origin of her restlessness. He ached for her. Someone as young and lovely as Charlie shouldn’t have to hurt so much. In that moment, he wished he could take away her pain. But there was nothing he could do. Was there?
Chapter Six
Charlie wished she could kick herself, but she straightened her shoulders, determined to turn the conversation to something lighter, less personal. “Enough about me.”
They started down the step path, Ophelia and Chase easily made their way down the steep, rocky path. She lifted her skirts, watching her slippers as she picked her way down.
“I disagree. I am finding this conversation fascinating.”
His deep voice shivered through her. Why had she told such a man about her foolish escapade? “I’m sure my mistake will only affirm all the reasons you should never kiss me again.” She tilted her chin, looking into his near-black eyes.
Her foot slipped on a rock and he steadied her waist. The feel of his hand covering her midriff shot a wave of longing through her. He was so strong. Once more, Charlie really considered what it would be like to be sheltered by such a man.
“For the record. I have no intention of ever kissing you again. But not because of what you said.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I am, as I know you know, a rogue. Unredeemable. And you are an innocent. I’ll tell you what you wish to know, but we can’t touch, especially kiss again. It isn’t safe for either of us.”
Her stomach flopped about. He’d never kiss her again? “Of course,” she said as they began moving again. Her head dipped. Even bringing up the kiss only highlighted how much she wanted another. Because that had quieted her head in the most satisfying of ways. Because he stole her breath, and her thoughts, and her reason.
“Which brings us to the topic at hand. I’ve issued my warning for you to stay away from rakes. Last night, I wanted to teach you how quickly and easily you can fall into one’s arms. But if I were truly acting the part of rake, I wouldn’t have stopped at a kiss.”
Those words should have frightened her. But instead, she ached between her thighs again. “What else would you have done?” The words popped out before she could stop them.
He looked over at her, letting out a deep groaning sigh. “I would have ruined you…completely.”
She gripped his arm. “How does a man ruin a woman…completely?”
He stopped again, his boots scuffing the dirt. “You don’t actually mean you want me to explain the act?”
She did mean that. Precisely. She had no mother, no sister. Dane certainly wasn’t going to tell her. And she didn’t know the Moorish sisters well enough to ask. “You promised to educate me.”
“Yes but…I thought you wanted me to demonstrate lines they might use or tell you about the parties men hold when women aren’t present.”
“Exactly,” she dropped her voice. It was almost ridiculous she asked this of him and her pulsed raced, blood rushing in her ears, but he was the only one she could think to go to for the information. And besides, somehow, she preferred him over any other man. There was an intimacy between them she didn’t know how to name. “What do you do with a woman at one of those parties? Kissing? Yes. What else?”
“No,” he answered the single word biting out.
“Please,” she begged, tugging on his arm. “My mother and father died when I was thirteen. I was too young then and I don’t know who else—”
“Thirteen?” He swallowed. “That’s a terrible age for such a loss.”
“I didn’t mean to talk of myself again.” She shook her head, a few strands of her hair coming loose. “The point is, I’ve no one else to ask and you are the only man that I dare.”
Chase and Ophelia were still in sight, but they moved further ahead, which was just as well.
“Balstead,” she whispered. “Please.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “Call me Raithe.”
“Raithe?” she asked as her feet slipped again. This time, he just wrapped an arm about her waist. Funny, even that small gesture, while exciting, calmed some of the hectic racing in her mind. “It suits you.”
“This isn’t education on rakes. This is an education on relations.”
She shrugged. “Fair enough. Though I did warn you that my ultimate goal was to marry.”
“Then your husband should explain it.”
“But it’s so much easier to ask you,” Why did she feel so comfortable asking him these things? Perhaps because he didn’t seem ashamed of them. Besides, he wasn’t courting her, so she didn’t have to worry about how she came across to him.
He drew in a deep breath. “Fine.” Then he cleared his throat again. “A woman has a hole.”
“I’m aware of that,” she answered, looking over at him, the funniest tickle in her belly.
He paled, just a bit. Even in the sun. “You are? How?”
She tsked. “Don’t you know your own anatomy? I’ve done some exploring.”
“Exploring?” his voice cracked. “You’ve done some exploring?”
“Yes. Now can we please continue to the parts I’m not aware of?”
Raithe was in hell. Images of Charlie exploring herself were wreaking havoc on his body and his mind. By God, he wanted to watch. He’d bet her lower lips were the same pale pink as—He stopped. His breeches had grown uncomfortably tight and his mind could hardly put together a coherent thought. “Charlie,” his voice sounded strangled even to his own ears. “Are you always so blunt?”
“Yes,” she answered. “It’s how I got the nickname Charlie to begin with. Dane has always said I sound more like a man than a woman. My mother hated it. Always trying to convince me to be more demure.” She looked down at the path. “I even miss that.”
Her grief lessoned the burden of his awareness. She ached from loss just as he did. “I know.”
Her head snapped up. “You do?”
There wasn’t room in one walk for two sad stories, so he switched back to their previous topic. The one that was going to leave him aching all day. “A man has a rod. For lack of a better term.” He would not teach her the terminology. Even he had limits.
“Oh.” She sucked in her breath and then her hand fluttered to his chest. “Does it go into the…”
Christ. Now he was picturing sliding inside her body, her creamy thighs wrapped about him. Shivers of awareness ran down his spine, and he’d turned to granite. He’d doubted he’d ever find relief. “Yes.”
“Why do women say that it hurts?”
Now that he could answer. “The first time, there is skin that needs to be broken. It’s just the once.”
“Oh, that makes sense.” She tapped her chin, then turned back to him. “Do women feel pleasure? After the first time?”
“Yes. Many do.” His teeth had clamped together and he pushed the words out between them.
“Hey,” Rathmore called from ahead. “Keep up now.”
“Gladly,” Raithe muttered. Because the very idea of her finishing underneath him had desire coursing through his body.
Blessedly she fell silent as they finally reached the beach. “And obviously men find it pleasurable as well. That’s why they try to convince women to allow them…” She let her voice taper off, thank the lord. If she said any more he might explode in his pants like a school boy.
“Partially,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief after they’d ventured back into safer territory. Discussing the behavior of rakes was so much safer t
han a woman’s pleasure. “I think the rakes that target innocent women like the thrill of the hunt and conquest as much as the act itself. Innocents are more difficult to coerce.”
They moved faster now that they’d reached the beach. “And that isn’t you?”
“No,” he answered honestly. He’d kept his activities to women who understood the bargain. It was a transaction. “That isn’t me.”
“So how will I know if a man’s attention is genuine?”
He drew in a breath. “He’ll want to protect you as much as he’ll wish to bed you.”
“Oh,” she gasped. “That is beautiful.”
He shrugged. It was how he’d felt about Jennifer. And on that front he’d failed. He didn’t ever want to fail another woman again. “Have I answered enough questions for the day?”
She nodded. “I think so.”
“When does your brother return to collect you to begin your summer social schedule?” They had changed directions and headed toward the rock face.
“Not for a week or two. Then we’ll have Chase’s wedding,” she said. “We’ll depart in probably three weeks’ time.”
“Can you write to your brother this afternoon and ask him if Cassandra and I might gain invitations to some of these events?”
“Certainly,” she replied. “I can gather some more information from you while we wait for his—”
“No,” he choked out. “No more questions like those until I know I’ve secured Cassandra’s position as your guest.”
Charlie paused then looked over to him. A flicker of concern crossed her pretty face. “Are you in love with her?”
Chapter Seven
Charlie took a deep breath, her chest shaking as she drew it in. What had possessed her to ask such specific questions?
Yes, he knew all the answers. And certainly, she had an intimacy with him she’d never shared with anyone else. But as they’d talked, heat had radiated from her core and she realized why he was the wrong person to ask. She became even more aware of him with each passing question.
They entered into a small, sheltered nook in the rock front. An outdoor room, open to the sky but almost completely closed on four sides. Just a small entrance led into the hollowed-out center. “It’s stunning,” she gushed as she looked around. “And the sand is dry.”
“The ocean almost never rises to fill it. It comes close, though, so you can get trapped in here until the tide goes out. Unless you don’t mind wet shoes.” Ophelia drew in a deep breath as she looked to Charlie. “I spent hours here, nearly every day after my mother died. I swear, this place healed my hurt.”
Charlie still held Raithe’s arm and tightened her grip. “How do you ever get over that loss?”
Ophelia’s eyes narrowed as her head cocked to the side. “Have you recovered from the loss of yours?”
“Oh.” She paused. “Yes,” she answered, but the truth was, she wasn’t certain. What she’d done might be more akin to running away from than healing.
Chase spread out a blanket. “The tide is low now so we’ve nothing to worry about in terms of the ocean. Who fancies kicking off our shoes and walking along the water? It’s already getting rather warm.”
Charlie nodded, lowering herself to the blanket to remove her slippers. Then she lifted her skirts to quickly untie the ribbons at the top of her stockings.
A groan sounded as Raithe sat next to her. “Your calves are utterly delightful.”
She looked at him, his black eyes glittering as he ran a gaze over her body. “Really? They’re so small. Now your thighs, for example—” And then she stopped. His teeth snapped together, his jaw going tense as a muscle ticced in his cheek.
“What about my thighs?” he whispered so low she almost didn’t hear him. Somehow, his whispered request made her begin to ache all over again.
“They’re…powerful,” she answered, sounding breathy.
As if to illustrate her point, he lifted a leg to pull off one of his boots. Her insides fluttered as he pulled first one and then the other.
“Are we ready?” Ophelia asked, as Chase pulled her to standing.
Charlie hastily rolled down her other stocking. Somehow, this almost felt more intimate than their discussion about holes and rods. “Ready.”
Raithe stood and took her hand, pulling her effortlessly to her feet. His other hand caught her waist as he steadied her.
They followed once again as Chase and Ophelia raced toward the water, allowing the waves to crash over their feet.
“They look very happy.”
Raithe still held her hand, sending a thrill through her. “They do,” she said, not sure what else to say. Her own feelings were churning.
“I know I was that happy once but I don’t remember what it felt like anymore,” Raithe said as he stared out at the water.
He’d been that happy? For some reason the idea made her ache. Had he been in love too?
But she didn’t have time to ask. A cry ripped through the air, making Charlie freeze. Ophelia had dropped to the ground, holding her ankle.
Charlie didn’t think, she started running, racing to Ophelia’s side. Chase was already looking at her foot by the time Charlie and Raithe reached her.
“I stepped on something,” Ophelia said, assessing the blood dripping down her heel.
“Go get on your boots,” Raithe rumbled out, dropping to the ground and shrugging off his coat. He ripped pieces from his shirt. “I’ll bandage up the foot and then you can get her back to the house for better care.”
“Good plan.” Chase leaned over and reassured Ophelia with a quick, hard kiss. “I’ll be right back.” Then he raced off.
Charlie held Ophelia’s hand as Raithe tore strips from his shirt and wrapped them about her injured appendage.
“It doesn’t look too bad.”
Raithe gave Ophelia a gentle smile that stole Charlie’s breath. He looked like a completely different man when he smiled like that. It hadn’t been for her, of course. But if it had…
“Ready?” Chase asked as he returned, scooping Ophelia into his arms. “Thank you for your help, Balstead. I’m going to trust you to quickly return my cousin to the house.”
Raithe gave a short jerk to his chin. “We’ll just put on our shoes and come right back.”
Chase didn’t answer as he turned and began sprinting back toward the path with Ophelia in his arms.
Charlie watched them go, just a touch of envy coloring her brow. She’d craved excitement, distraction all this time. But what if, instead, she allowed herself to fall in love with one of her suitors? Not only would she fill that void, but she’d also have a new family all her own. A different kind of excitement. A lasting kind.
She looked over at the man standing next to her in the sand. She could fall for him…his dark good looks and shoulders appeared as though they might hold up the entire world, especially her.
Raithe felt her eyes like a physical touch and he clenched his fist to keep from dragging her against his body. He’d been fighting that urge since this bloody walk started. “No good ever comes from taking off your shoes.”
“Really? Do you do everything in shoes?” she asked, grinning over at him.
He stilled. If she asked him if he fucked in shoes, he might have to drop her to the sand and kiss her senseless. “Such as?”
“Do you take a bath in them?” she grinned, giving his arm a bit of a push.
He looked over at her. “Do you deal with every difficult situation with jokes and bad behavior?”
He watched her smile fall. “Beast,” she accused, and then she lifted her skirts and began stomping her way back to the little hideaway.
He could see her slender ankles as she moved, her hips swaying as she went. He’d sworn to himself that he wouldn’t kiss her again. It was dangerous. But as he followed, he knew that he would. That he needed another taste of her sweet fire.
Perhaps it was because he now understood they were alike in more ways than he’d guessed. O
r maybe it was because he forgot that constant ache he’d carried around since Jennifer’s death. But he wanted another drink from her sweet nectar.
He followed her, easily catching up to her at the entrance. She disappeared inside and he followed, watching as she huffed and tossed herself on the blanket. Then she brushed off her foot and grabbed a stocking, pointing her toe as she started to slide the silky fabric onto her foot.
“I’ll help,” he said as he dropped into the sand on his knees just in front of her.
“I don’t need your help.” She tossed him a dismissive glance as she pulled the clothing higher, over her slender ankle, and up that shapely calf. He swallowed, his mouth drying at the sight.
He reached out a hand, wrapping his fingers just under her knee. She gasped. Slowly, he pulled her toward him, planting his other hand in the sand so that he might lean out and take her lips with his. “Charlie,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“Well. You did,” she said and he heard the raw note of her voice.
He frowned, trying to decide how to proceed. His chest squeezed. He didn’t want to hurt her. Maybe he’d been emotionally closed for too long and could no longer read a woman’s reactions. “How will I continue your education if you’re not talking or looking at me?”
“I don’t care about that any longer.” She held up a hand to stop him from pulling her any closer. “I don’t misbehave and I resent your accusation that I do. Well, last night was a bit of an exception. I’m just feeling…”
“Lost,” he answered. Her hand softened even as it came in contact with his chest and he kept pulling her closer, sliding her through the sand.
“Yes. How did you know?” Her lips were inches under his now as she tilted her chin up to look at him.
“A hunch,” he murmured and then he dropped his mouth lower until their mouths almost touched. “And now you want to fill that ache.”
“Yes,” she said, searching his face. “But I can’t be foolish. I will have to marry. If I can’t participate in society and I don’t have a husband I would be so very…lonely.”
Romancing the Rake: Seven Regency Romances Page 50
