“Do you?”
“I find it easier not to. Girlfriends tend to want to become wives.”
“Oh, the horror,” I teased, though Brooks was breaking my heart with his attitude toward marriage.
Brooks stabbed his fork into a juicy strawberry. “I know you don’t agree with me.”
“I wonder if you agree with you . . . or Morgan.”
He shoved the strawberry in his mouth, chewing on his food and thoughts. Once he swallowed, he let out a heavy sigh. “Morgan and I have both seen the damage marriage can do. Neither of our parents fared well. I appreciate her bold, out-of-the-norm attitude.”
“You look down on mine.”
“No. I envy yours.”
I bit my lip. “You do?”
“Yes, Grace,” he said my name so gently. “In fact, I’m surprised you’re not married yet.”
“That makes two of us.” I reached into the bag for the peanut butter cups. I needed chocolate, stat.
“Just haven’t met the right guy yet?” Brooks seemed hesitant to ask.
I grabbed a handful of candy and began unwrapping them as fast as I could. “No, I’ve met him.”
Brooks fumbled his salad and barely caught it before he dropped it. “Julian?” The hitch in his voice begged me to tell him it wasn’t so.
“No.” I popped an entire peanut butter cup in my mouth, not believing I was having this conversation with the “right” man.
“Who, then?”
I took some time to savor the sweet ecstasy in my mouth. The mix of the salty peanut butter with the sweet milk chocolate was perfect. “It doesn’t really matter,” I said after swallowing. “He doesn’t see me that way.”
“Sounds like a real idiot.”
“Oh, he is.” I shoved another peanut butter cup into my mouth.
“Why do you want to be with him, then?”
I stared into Brooks’s eyes. Hints of the boy I’d loved showed in the gold flecks. “Because the first time I met him, I knew he was the one.”
Brooks’s brow creased. “How is that possible?”
“I don’t know. I don’t make the rules. I just knew.”
“But you didn’t know anything about him.” Brooks seemed to be concerned for my well-being. Perhaps even my mental health.
“Not at first, but I quickly remedied that.”
“What did you think about him after that?” Brooks was awfully curious.
“That he was everything I’d hoped he would be,” my voice cracked, betraying me. “You know, except the whole him not wanting me part.”
Brooks rested a hand on my bare knee. “I’m sorry, Grace. Like I said, the guy must be a real idiot.”
I peered down at his hand. It felt like fire against my skin; his touch called to my soul. “Regardless of what he is, I moved on.” Well, at least I thought I had. “I want someone who’s going to wake up every day excited to see me. Someone who appreciates me and all my quirky obsessions. Someone who wants to go on adventures with me.” I pulled my knees up to my chest, making Brooks’s hand drop. His touch made me long for him to be the person the voice and I knew he could be. That someone.
Brooks flexed his fingers. “I hope you find the right man for you. You deserve that.” He sounded sincere.
“Thanks.” I had no idea what else to say. Brooks had no clue I was talking about him, which kind of said it all.
“Was he part of your facial recognition theory?” Brooks asked.
“I suppose he was the catalyst. But I was wrong about the theory, like I was about him.”
“And what is the theory?”
I rested my head on my knees. “You’ll think it’s silly.”
“Probably, but you should tell me anyway.” He gave me a sweet smile. The kind of smile he used to give me. The one that could coax anything out of me.
His powers of persuasion won me over. I sat up. “When I met—let’s call him ‘The One’—I heard this voice tell me that I would marry him.”
“A voice? As in you’re hearing things?”
“No. My inner voice. The voice that you can’t quite explain, but something deep within you knows it’s right.”
“But you said it was proven wrong.”
“I said he was wrong and the theory was wrong, not the voice.” Though I had questioned the voice and its sanity, more like my own sanity. Yet deep down, I knew the voice hadn’t lied. It had just failed to recognize Brooks’s free will in it all.
Brooks tilted his head. “He was wrong for you or about you? I don’t understand.”
Believe me, I knew he didn’t. “He was just wrong. That’s beside the point. My theory was—since I’d heard the voice the first time I saw ‘The One’—I was hoping that maybe if I went on several blind dates, with no prior knowledge of what the men looked like, perhaps the voice would speak to me again.”
Brooks chuckled. “How did that work out for you?”
“Not so well,” I sighed. “If it had, the man I’d hoped for would be sitting across from me right now, sharing my peanut butter cups and whispering things in my ear that aren’t appropriate for all the kiddos running around to hear.”
Brooks’s cheeks reddened. “Is that what you really wish for?”
“Pretty much. Plus a guarantee he’ll adore me forever.” It’s not like I wanted the moon.
“What are you going to do if you never hear the voice again?”
“Who says I haven’t heard the voice again?”
Brooks’s eyes widened.
“Yeah, it’s annoying, like a broken record. Apparently, it’s really hung up on ‘The One’ for some reason.”
“Are you?”
I lowered my head. “I wish I wasn’t. Anyway,” I reached for my salad, “enough about me.”
“Grace.” He rested his hand on mine. “While I don’t think it’s good to believe in ‘The One,’ I do hope you find who you’re looking for.” He spoke in hushed tones. He brushed his thumb across my skin before lifting his hand. “I hope it’s not Julian.” His tone went from sweet to brusque.
“Why don’t you like him?”
“I like him fine, but he doesn’t have a healthy outlook on relationships.”
“The same could be said about you.”
“You’re right. And I would never wish myself upon you either. You deserve better than that.” Regret seeped through his words. Or was I imagining that? Either way, I sat stunned. Was he saying he had thought about us being together? Or was that wishful thinking on my part? Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to mull it over. The night was about to get more awkward. Our prom king, Sean Devereaux, spotted us. He wasn’t the typical prom king who was the best looking or most athletic. In fact, Sean was the president of the chess club back in the day. Currently, he was balding with a paunchy stomach. Yet, he was one of the nicest guys around and could make anyone laugh. All reasons he was voted to be the prom king and why he was a great car salesman. He’d sold me my new car a few years back. He and his wife, Lily, had been married for a good seventeen years and had four kids, ranging from sixteen to four.
Sean landed on our blanket and looked between the two of us. “Wow. I have to say, I never thought I would see you two together.”
I guess he didn’t share Miss Ellen’s opinion.
He patted Brooks’s back. “It was savage the way you left poor Gracie at prom.” He wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t need to say it out loud.
Brooks gave him a scathing look, all while tugging on his collar.
Sean wasn’t reading the signs and continued on. “Man, you should have seen the tears in her eyes. And you really missed out, buddy; Gracie was a vision that night.” He smiled at me. “Still the prettiest girl in town, besides my Lily, of course.”
“Thanks, Sean. The movie is about to start,” I said, hoping he would get the hint and skedaddle before Brooks punched him.
Sean reached into his pocket, took out a business card, and handed it to Brooks. “If you ever need a new car, give
me a call. You can ask Gracie here. I’ll give you a good deal.”
Brooks slowly shook his head no, as if to say it would be best for him to leave.
Some concern crept into Sean’s eyes.
I tried to smooth it over. “Brooks has two vehicles already.” I knew that because I was surprised that Brooks drove a truck, and not a new one either. I’d asked him about his “old” truck on the drive over, and with pride he’d told me how it was the first vehicle he had ever purchased on his own, right after he’d landed his first job for a firm in Houston. However, Morgan wasn’t fond of it and admonished him to be more eco-friendly, so he’d bought a BMW hybrid. He only drove the truck when Morgan wasn’t around. I wanted to ask him if that seemed odd to him but didn’t have the courage. And let’s be real, if I asked, it would only be my jealousy talking.
Sean slinked the card back into his pocket and jumped up. “Sorry to bother y’all. Have a good night.” He disappeared into the maze of people.
Brooks pressed his lips together and stared at me thoughtfully. “Did you really cry that night?”
I nodded, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, Grace.” This time there was no mistaking the regret in his voice. “Like I said, I would never wish myself upon you.”
Funny. He was all I’d ever wished for.
Chapter Seventeen
“You’re quiet tonight.” Julian walked beside me as we crossed the arched bridge in the Japanese Garden at the botanical garden.
“Sorry.” I smiled over at him and admired how handsome he looked in his khaki shorts and blue polo shirt that brought out his vibrant eyes.
He tugged on my hand and led us to the side of the bridge to look over the rails at the massive koi pond surrounded by cherry trees and Japanese maples. It was lovely, even if the humidity was making my hair frizz. Julian kept ahold of my hand, and we interlocked fingers. He smiled at me. “Can I hold your hand, Grace?”
I nodded, feeling a tiny spark. Don’t get me wrong, I was attracted to Julian, but it wasn’t this overwhelming, I-can’t-live-without-you feeling. Not only that, Brooks’s words of warning kept buzzing around in my head. In fact, all of Friday night haunted my thoughts. I had meant for Brooks and me to have some fun together watching an old movie, but it ended up with us mostly staring aimlessly at the screen, hardly saying a word. And the darker it had gotten that night, the more the tension seemed to tighten between us, like we should have been doing what Julian and I were doing now—holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes. Allowing the sparks to possibly ignite. Brooks’s hand had inched over all night, but each time, he would pull it back. Mine would do the same, as if we were playing some cat-and-mouse game to see who was brave enough to catch the other person’s hand. It had all come to nothing.
“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Julian’s voice shook me out of my head.
I peered out over the water and watched the large koi fish swim in circles just beneath the surface. “Nothing is wrong per se, just thinking a lot about my life.”
“Wondering where I fit in?”
I nudged him with my shoulder. “It’s a little early for that, don’t you think?”
“Darlin’, I’m teasing you. I’m just looking to spend some time with a beautiful woman. No strings, no commitments. Is that all right with you?”
Brooks was shouting in my head to say yes to no commitments with Julian. More like he was telling me to run the other direction. But Julian seemed harmless, as long as we kept it no strings attached. And his honesty was kind of refreshing. “Yes, but—”
“There’s always a but, and it’s usually painful.”
“I promise, I’ll only hurt you a little.”
He pulled me closer. “Don’t excite me like that.”
“Behave,” I playfully responded.
His laughter rang through the gardens. “I’ll do my best, but admittedly, you aren’t making that easy.”
Some heat rose to my cheeks.
“Blushing?” He ran the back of his hand down my cheek. “You are adorable, and I think I’ll need to be careful around you.”
A man hadn’t touched me so tenderly in a long time. I found I longed for it. Yet, I wasn’t sure if I should crave Julian’s touch.
“I haven’t gotten to the but yet, so you might want to reserve your judgment.”
He squeezed my hand. “I do like you.”
“I like you too, which is why I wonder how you feel about relationships. Not that I’m looking for one with you.” I made sure to put his mind at ease. Yet, I needed to know if he really did have unhealthy attitudes toward relationships, as Brooks had warned me. Sure, I was all for having some fun, but I was smart enough to know that it wasn’t all fun and games. Anytime men and women mixed, there was the potential for trouble to brew.
“Are you looking for a relationship?” he asked.
“I’m thirty-eight years old, and I’d like to have a baby before I’m a contender for the Guinness World Records’ oldest mother. And I just went on thirty-six blind dates, most of which were either plain awful or laughable. So the answer is yes. I want to be in a relationship.”
I could see his body tense.
“Not with you,” I added.
He cocked his brow. “What, am I not good enough for you?” he teased.
I let go of his hand and shook his shoulders. Nice broad shoulders, I might add. “You said you didn’t want to be in a relationship, and you’re avoiding my question.”
He sighed. “You’re different than I thought you would be.”
“How did you think I would be?”
He pursed his lips together. “Just different,” was all he would own.
“Different in a good way or bad way?”
He leaned in, close enough for me to inhale his minty breath. “Very good.” His eyes drifted toward my lips.
I placed my hand on his chest to make sure he kept his distance. Not to say I wouldn’t ever kiss him, but I needed to be sure about his character. And I worried I would like the way Julian kissed. Confident men tended to innately know how to set your lips on fire and make your head spin. I didn’t need that added confusion right now.
Julian placed his hand over mine, pressing it firmly against his solid chest. Oh, wow, was it hard. Probably not as defined as Brooks’s, but if I was a betting woman, my money would say I would probably drool a little if I saw the doctor shirtless.
“Gracie,” Julian whispered. “No matter what happens between us, please remember I never set out to hurt you.”
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“Sooner or later I’ve ended up hurting every woman I’ve had a long-term relationship with.”
“Oh.”
“Relationships aren’t my family’s strong suit.”
Even Morgan’s? I wanted to ask, but when I was with Julian, I did my best not to mention her. I didn’t think I would be able to hide my distaste for her.
He brushed his thumb across my hand. “My parents raised protégés, not human beings.” The bitterness in his tone was undeniable.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. And promise me, Gracie, you won’t let me make you sorry for the time we spend together.”
“How can I do that?”
He glanced down. “By keeping me at arm’s length.”
I dropped my hand and let out a deep breath. I was beginning to wonder if every man I was attracted to wanted me to keep my distance.
~*~
After Julian had walked me to my door and kissed my cheek, I had no desire to walk inside. Instead I sat on the porch, listening to the crickets chirp and the neighborhood teenagers play football in the road under the glow of the streetlights. It was in moments like these that I desperately missed my momma. She would know what I should do about Brooks and Julian. I was beginning to think those two needed to start a tormented men’s club or something.
I looked over to the Hamiltons’, and it struck me that there was a momma ther
e tonight. June had practically moved in yesterday when Tom had come home. She’d made sure to mention she was sleeping in the guest bedroom. All I know was that Tom was one happy camper, even if he had to use a walker and was on a strict diet and several new prescriptions.
It was only nine thirty. Julian had dropped me off early because one of his patients had gone into labor. Surely Miss June would still be up and could talk with me. Unless she and Tom had decided to rekindle their romance. Yikes. Would that make Tom’s heart stop again? Maybe I shouldn’t go over there. Except I really needed to talk to someone. Not that I couldn’t talk to Daddy, but the man wouldn’t care if I ever left home. Honestly, I think if I got married, he would say we could just move in with him. Very Mr. Woodhouse–like. If only my Mr. Knightley would show up and not have a load of baggage like Brooks and Julian seemed to carry with them. Not that I wouldn’t help carry another person’s luggage, but they had to be willing to let me get close enough to do it. I was willing to assist them in unpacking, but they had to open their suitcases up to me first.
I stood and decided to go for it. I needed a woman’s and a momma’s opinion. I practically tiptoed down our brick path to the sidewalk. From there I leisurely strolled while listening to the boys in the street call out plays and children laughing in the distance. Someone was even shooting off fireworks. Tomorrow was Memorial Day, not the Fourth of July, but whatever. They were pretty in red, white, and blue. I loved this neighborhood. Though some neighbors had come and gone over the years, it still had the feeling of home and all things good in the world.
Tom’s yard was proof of the goodness that existed. “Welcome Home” signs dotted the lawn, and someone had hung a banner across the wraparound porch. It had brought Tom to tears yesterday when Miss June and I had brought him home. People had lined his walk, cheering him on as we drove up. Even Daddy had shed a couple of tears, so happy his best friend had made it. Tom wasn’t completely out of the woods yet. The next year would be telling, but Miss June was determined to get him in shape and force him to live.
There were lights on in the house, which I took as a good sign. I knocked on the heavy oak door that was plastered with paper hearts.
Facial Recognition Page 12
