by Shona Husk
If he was right and it had been micrometeoroids then the holes would be small. The biggest problem would probably be finding the holes. He unlocked the hatch with a swipe of his chip and stepped into an orange zone. The three crew he had with him followed through fast and resealed the hatch. Getting down to the barn was going to take forever if every single hatch was sealed and every corridor had damage.
* * *
Two hours later, having lost count of the number of holes he’d sealed, Leo was at the barn hatch. The lights on his portacomp were slowly changing from orange to green. They couldn’t just reopen every hatch at once though, it had to be done slowly, to ensure that the seals held and that the atmosphere on the ship didn’t get too thin from being spread too far. It would take time for the air scrubbers and generators to make enough to replace what had been lost. Days. And there would be parts of Siren, the parts currently glowing red, that would be off limits for weeks … maybe for the rest of the trip.
He was down to one crew member. One had gone back for more supplies because several breathers had to be given to people who’d become trapped when the hatches had sealed. Only the flight crew could open hatches that had automatically sealed due to decompression. It was a safety precaution to stop people—Army or civvie—from running around and making things worse.
The barn was still showing orange, but orange covered everything from minor venting to about to turn red, so Leo checked his breather, then stuck the end through the opening in the face shield and into his mouth. He hated the taste of the rubber mouthpiece.
He swallowed and then tried to smile to stop himself from gagging. Fingers crossed there’d be enough air to breathe in there. In some areas they’d been lucky. Others had turned red before they’d even got there. Some of the areas he’d left as they were non-essential, and they’d just rescued people trapped in a module that opened onto the red corridor. Too many detours.
He opened the hatch and while he didn’t feel the breeze on his skin, because he had no exposed skin, the sensor on his suit indicated air movement. Well, “sensor” might have been overly elaborate—it was really just a fringe of fabric, no longer than an inch. A quick low-tech guide to how air was travelling. All the tech in the world didn’t help if it wasn’t working in an emergency. Sometimes low tech was the safest option, something that had been learned the hard way.
The two of them stepped through and closed the hatch. Over the alarms he couldn’t hear any animals. He glanced at the lab and saw Silke and Vance waving. He lifted his hand, then gave them a stop signal so they wouldn’t come out. Something crunched under his boot. He squatted down and saw a small rock, now partially ground to dust. Then he glanced at the inner wall of the hull.
At some point the outer hull was going to have to be repaired.
He sighed. That would have to happen soon, while they weren’t using the jump engines. Outside walks were his least favorite part of the job. While he’d only have to go out to inspect, that would still be far longer than he liked to be outside of the ship.
Leo checked the air quality. It was borderline and heading toward red. He kept the breather on and started the slow manual check of every square inch of hull wall. When he found a hole he cut the smallest patch he could and sealed the breach.
If they were hit by more micrometeoroids they were going to start running out of patches. If they were hit by something bigger, they were fucked anyway. He hoped that the person who was supposed to be watching for these things was getting torn a new one. Although how all three ships missed it was a mystery … unless they weren’t able to scan for micrometeoroids while jumping. That wasn’t a comforting thought.
He stopped near the guinea pig cages. There were less than normal. Silke had managed to save some. While none were moving, they wouldn’t be dead yet. Just unconscious.
What had Silke and Vance been talking about while they were in the lab? Two hours of being locked in a room with Silke, thinking he might be about to die, he knew what he’d have been doing. He stopped as though punched in the stomach. For a moment he couldn’t breathe, even though he had air.
Maybe they hadn’t.
But Leo wasn’t very good at lying to himself, and Vance and Silke weren’t very good at hiding the desire in their eyes, either.
If it had happened—and really, it had only been a matter of time until it did—what did he do now?
He still loved her and he still wanted her. He knew she liked him, maybe even loved him, now she’d let down her guard and told him why she was here. But he also knew that she was never going to stop loving Vance.
And Vance would never stop loving her.
It was too complicated. Leo liked his relationships simple. But then, he’d never had anyone like Silke in his life. The last woman he’d been in a relationship with had used him for sex and dropped him like a hot meteoroid the moment her feet had touched the Earth. After that it had been one brief affair after another.
He already knew he didn’t want to continue down that path. He wanted something more. Silke certainly came with more. She came with Vance.
Leo saw another hole and cut a metal patch to size. Would fixing his relationship with Silke be as simple?
Was there anything to actually fix?
He frowned as he waited for the sealant to set.
They weren’t broken. In fact, there was absolutely nothing wrong. He couldn’t even call what she’d done cheating because at the bottom of his heart, he’d expected it. Maybe he was even okay with it.
That was unsettling.
He pushed the thought away. It was much easier and less troubling to think about the damage done to the ship.
* * *
Silke watched as the two men in blue suits moved extremely slowly around the barn. She was guessing they were both men, as neither had breasts. Although the suits could be squashing everything flat. They weren’t exactly what she’d call flattering. However, they were sealed and practical. She couldn’t see their faces because of the masks and there were no names on the suits, so she didn’t know if one was Leo or not.
Vance put his hand on the small of her back. “You’re thinking of him.”
She nodded. “Looks like we get to live.” For the moment.
“Yeah.”
She should say something, but she didn’t know what. She didn’t regret what she’d done. That probably made her a bad person, as she’d technically cheated on her boyfriend. Where did that leave her and Leo, and her and Vance?
“What now?” she asked, even though she didn’t expect Vance to have the answer. She wouldn’t take back what they’d shared even if she could. It was a pity it had taken facing death to make them act on what they felt.
He shrugged. “Now we go back to our regular lives.”
“No.” She didn’t want things to go back the way they were.
“You belong with Grady, not me. He can give you a better life on Solitaire than I ever will.” He cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing her skin. “I will walk away.”
She didn’t want to lose him as a friend, a colleague … or a lover. “You’re only doing that because you think it’s the right thing to do.”
“It’s the only thing I can do. I will never marry you.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
Vance’s lips twisted into a smile. “Grady won’t share.”
“And if he will?” The idea that she could have both of them … it was enough to make her heart skip and tumble and forget how to beat in rhythm. Why should she have to choose? There were four men on board for every woman. Surely that meant she could have whoever she wanted?
“How’s it going to work, really?”
She had no idea. She hadn’t exactly planned for this to happen. She’d planned to be single for as long as possible, to avoid the truth coming out, but now Vance and Leo both knew. And neither had judged her for it. She was sure others would though, if they ever found out. Others like Robert.
“I don’t know.
But I do know I can’t lie to Leo about us.”
Vance pressed his lips together. “Is there an us?”
“Do you want there to be?” Maybe all he’d wanted was sex with a woman, and she’d been available. If so, she had misjudged him and their friendship.
He closed his eyes. “You know if I was free that’s what I’d want.”
Then why did he step aside so quickly?
“You can’t put your dreams on hold for another twenty years.” She put her arm around him and leaned her head on his shoulder.
“I think my uniform says otherwise.” But he held her close and kissed her cheek, both of them knowing that when the light went from orange to green, their stolen time would be over, and decisions would have to be made.
Chapter Eleven
Leo took the breather out of his mouth. It was almost out of air anyway. Although the light was still orange, the barn was slowly coming up to pressure. It was time to face Silke and Vance.
He pulled off the face shield and hood of the suit and strode over to the lab. Silke and Vance were talking. Both seemed concerned. As he approached, Silke’s face lit up. It was that smile that gave him reason to hope.
But if she lied to him, they would be over. He didn’t want any more secrets. If she was going to sleep with Vance then it had to be open, and they had to find a way to navigate this like adults. It wasn’t as though they could get off the ship to escape each other.
The lab door opened and a waft of goat and goat shit followed. He should’ve left his suit hood on. His nose wrinkled. Did it always smell so bad down here? He didn’t think so. But then, they’d been in a sealed lab with no fresh air coming in for hours. They’d obviously lit an oxygen candle to keep the air fresh-ish.
The goats pushed out the door, bleating and making straight for their food. Vance went to follow, but Leo caught his arm. “Wait up. I’m sure they’ll be fine for a moment.”
The goats bounced around as if enjoying the space. Hopefully they wouldn’t trash the place.
Vance didn’t resist, but he leveled his gaze at Leo. It was cool and unflinching. Leo made himself smile. He’d probably looked as though he was gearing up to do something unpleasant.
At his smile Vance relaxed a little and Leo released his arm. Silke stood in the door of the lab, one hand shoved into her pocket. She didn’t throw herself into his arms the way he’d hoped. The tension was back between them.
Someone had to say something, and Leo decided it might as well be him. “Did you find a way to pass the time?”
It almost came off as casual, even offhand.
Silke’s gaze darted to Vance and a slight blush colored her cheeks. He knew then what had happened without a doubt. Either she admitted it now or they were done.
“Yeah, but …” She looked at him. “We thought we were going to die … we aren’t going to die, right?”
“The ship is okay for the moment. But there are a lot of repairs needed before we get underway.” What kind of repairs did their relationship need?
“Not safe yet.” She looked down at the floor. “You obviously worked it out. I don’t want to apologize. I don’t regret it.”
Vance shook his head and looked away. Did he regret it? Leo doubted it, but he also knew Vance wanted Silke to be sensible and forget him. Even Leo could see that was never going to happen.
“I don’t want a fake apology, just the truth.” That was the only way he could see this working.
“It was my idea. I wanted some pussy before I died.” Vance looked like a man who had just discovered a spider in his pants but didn’t want to drop them in public.
“I suspect quite a few people spent what they thought were the final hours of their lives fucking.” Leo crossed his arms. Silke still hadn’t actually admitted anything, just said that she wasn’t sorry.
“It takes two.” She glanced at Leo. “If you’d been there …”
“What? It would’ve taken three?” That he could imagine Silke between Vance and him so easily was disconcerting. He’d never done anything like that. Or wanted anything like that.
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
Leo frowned. Had they been talking about what he’d been thinking? “Is that what you want?”
Vance was watching him, his face completely unreadable.
“I want to be happy and I don’t want to have to cut someone out of my life to make you happy,” Silke said.
“I’m not asking you to.” He drew in a breath. This was when he had to say something. Where he had to admit to looking at the bigger picture and to having weighed the dangers and benefits and the risk to his heart. The only risk was that he lost Silke totally, and if he did that he’d also lose Vance as a friend, and he’d have to sleep with one eye open.
“I’m just asking that …” It was much harder to put into words than Leo had thought, probably because he wasn’t entirely sure what he was asking or what exactly he wanted. “That we be honest about it.”
That wasn’t quite right either, but for the moment it would have to do. He’d have never considered something like this when posted to Earth, but the old Earth rules didn’t apply here. The colony was too far away for that, and until things became more balanced—which could take decades—relationships would form that would’ve been frowned upon back on Earth.
This was one of them.
Silke lifted one eyebrow, and Vance was watching him closely too. The suit he was wearing seemed too tight and restrictive. It pressed against his skin and tried to smother him. He resisted the urge to tear it off. He had to finish what he’d started.
“Marry me. I won’t stop you from seeing … sleeping with Vance, if that’s what you want.”
Silke shook her head. “I don’t want you to settle. You need to be happy too.”
“I’m not settling.” It didn’t feel like he was settling. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing. Making the best of it?
“You want a relationship that includes Vance?” Silke didn’t look any more certain.
“Who is standing right here … Were you going to ask me what I want in this, Grady?”
“I know what you want.” Leo remembered the kiss on the cheek.
Vance smiled. “No you don’t, you just think you do. I love Silke.” He paused as if anticipating a response. Leo wasn’t surprised; he’d known that for a long time. Silke glanced away, her cheeks pink. “But I will not marry her. Twenty years is too long to live half a life. I don’t know what the prison will be like on Solitaire but I may not be able to leave except for work.” He held up his hand to stop any comments. “I’m okay with that. I have to be. I made my choice a long time ago. However, I appreciate that you understand my relationship with Silke and aren’t seeking to destroy it. That means a lot.” Vance’s voice caught in his throat.
Leo took half a step before he realized he’d done so. To hell with it. He closed the gap and embraced Vance. “I wouldn’t do that.”
When Vance put his arms around Leo, Leo resisted the urge to pull away. After a couple of heartbeats, both men drew back. It wasn’t as weird as it could have been.
Leo glanced at Silke.
She stepped forward and into his arms. “I thought you were going to be burned, and then we’d be over.”
“If you’d denied it … yeah, I would’ve walked.”
She nodded against him. “I wouldn’t have done that. Lies always get discovered.”
“And so do secrets,” Vance said. “I’m not supposed to have any relationship without it being on paper … but I’m not sure about it, not after Robert. That would be like throwing oil on a fire.”
Leo released Silke. He clasped her hand, but couldn’t feel her skin through his gloves. He hated the damn suit. His portacomp beeped and then his comms buzzed.
“Shit.” He stepped away from Vance and Silke before answering. “Grady.”
“Assemble a repair team for transfer to Sprite, they need extra assistance.”
Leo swallowed hard. He
knew enough to read between the lines. He was doing a ship transfer and Sprite was in worse shape than Siren. That wasn’t good. “How many?”
“Whatever you can spare from Siren. They were hit worse and are experiencing catastrophic system failure and multiple casualties.”
Siren had lost people too. Not many, though. “How bad is it?”
“They’re still reporting in … but it’s bad. We are going to evac people from the ship.”
Cold sweat trickled down Leo’s spine. If they were taking people off Sprite, the ship must be in dire condition. “Is it worth patching?”
He had to ask. If they used all their remaining patches on Sprite only to have to abandon her like an old soft drink can, they’d be up shit creek if Siren got hit again.
“They can get her moving if we can get her airtight. They are sealing off multiple areas. Repairs will be restricted. Sphinx is also sending a repair team. You are to liaise with the other crews and determine which parts can be fixed and which should remain sealed for the rest of the trip. You have two hours to prep, then the shuttle will take your crew over and return with refugees. Understood?”
“Understood. How long will I be on Sprite for?”
“Several days. We won’t leave you there. But we don’t want to be drifting for longer than a week.”
What the comms operator wasn’t saying was that supplies had been calculated to the day. The longer they drifted, the more the supplies would have to be stretched.
“I’ll be in the shuttle bay in two hours with a team. Grady out.” He released the button, well aware that Vance and Silke had overheard. “We got lucky.”
It could’ve easily been Siren experiencing catastrophic failure. If something bigger had ripped into the barn, Silke and Vance and all the animals would be dead. Accepting that Silke had another, part-time lover was nothing compared to the fact that they were all alive.
