by B. J Daniels
He could feel the holiday slipping away. It wasn’t that many days before he would have to return to Stevensville and his classroom. The thought made him hurt. How could he leave if Lacey hadn’t been found yet? He couldn’t.
At the sound of Charlie’s bedroom door opening, he put the paper on the table and poured her a cup of coffee. Glancing at her as she came into the kitchen wrapped in a thick white robe, he wondered if she felt anything like he did. The way she reached for the mug of coffee, he suspected she hadn’t slept well either. He’d had a terrible time getting to sleep last night only to have nightmares, something he hadn’t had since he was a kid.
He watched her flip to the horoscopes and read. He’d already looked.
Problems? Put your personal life on hold for a few days to deal with them. The good news is that you are finally getting the recognition you deserve. Enjoy it.
She groaned as she tossed the paper aside, then took a gulp of her coffee and glanced toward the window. “It looks freezing outside. Everything is frosted.”
“It’s December in Montana,” he pointed out as he joined her at the table. “Of course it’s freezing. It’s what everyone hopes for, right? A white Christmas. By the way, Merry Christmas.” He smiled at her from across the table.
Charlie met his gaze and gave him a slow smile. “Oh my gosh, it is Christmas Day.” Her smiled broadened. “Merry Christmas, Shep.”
He felt that pull at his heart as he looked at her and had to swallow the lump that rose in his throat. He’d never dreamed they would ever be sharing this holiday together and yet here they were. Destiny? Not something he believed in and yet as he looked at her, he could only hope.
“Do you want your present now or after breakfast?” he asked. “I know how you are about presents.”
“Shep—”
“It’s not a big deal,” he said quickly. “Just something I saw and I thought of you.”
* * *
CHARLIE USUALLY DID little on Christmas other than go to a midnight service on Christmas Eve. She had no family, and friends were with their families the night before Christmas. Tara had given her the small tree in her kitchen, which she kept out all year long.
There was nothing more lonely than a Christmas tree with no presents under it. And she wasn’t about to buy presents for herself to put under a tree. That was too pathetic.
In truth, she’d been excited about the present Daniel had said he’d gotten her for Christmas. But at the same time, she hadn’t had a clue what to get him. The other day, when she was shopping for a present for Tara’s new baby, she’d thought about what she could get Shep, since he’d gotten her something. What would mean something to him?
Now, looking into his blue eyes filled with excitement because of the gift he wanted to give her, she knew she couldn’t deny him this.
“Okay, presents before breakfast.”
He grinned and jumped up. “Stay right there.”
She watched him rush into the other room to retrieve the package he’d left under the tree.
When he carried it into the kitchen, he seemed to hesitate before he handed it to her. “I hope you like it.”
Charlie took her time unwrapping the rather large box, making him sigh and shake his head. He’d only given her one other present and she’d been so surprised that she’d torn into it, paper flying. But she’d been sixteen and madly in love.
Now at almost thirty, she was still in love, she realized. Still madly. But also afraid that she was about to get her heart broken. It had been hard enough to heal at sixteen. She feared she never would at thirty.
“Charlie, come on. Open it. I promise it won’t bite you,” Shep said from across the table.
She smiled at him and, shoving away the paper, opened the box and then froze.
“It’s not exactly like the one from your mom and dad, but it’s as close as I could find.”
She couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at the soft, new, leather-bound photo album. He’d remembered. The album had been the only thing she’d grabbed that day before the policeman had turned her over to social services. It was all she had left—photos growing up with her mother and father.
“I saw that your old album was full,” Shep said tentatively, as if not sure how to gauge her reaction. “I hope it’s okay. I thought you could start collecting new memories... Charlie, say something.”
She looked up him, still so choked up, she wasn’t sure what would come out if she dared tried to speak. Tears coursed down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away before they fell on the new leather. He looked so worried, so handsome, his eyes so filled with...love. She swallowed the lump in her throat and said the first words that came to her lips.
“I love it. I love...you for remembering.”
Relief washed over his face for a moment before he broke into a smile. “I was so afraid...” He didn’t need to finish.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, touching the warm leather. “It’s perfect.”
She pushed to her feet and stood on shaky legs for a moment. “I did go shopping for you but—”
“No, it’s fine,” he said quickly. “I don’t need anything. I hope you didn’t think you had to get me something. Really, I just wanted—”
“I do have something for you.” She left the kitchen and went to her bedroom. She’d put the envelope in the top drawer of her nightstand. It seemed too small now, too insubstantial, too little, maybe too late above all else.
But she took it out, holding it in her hand, noticing how the paper had yellowed, the edges of the envelope dog-eared from years of carrying it around with her. She took a breath and let it out, her heart so full that she still had trouble breathing, before she returned to the kitchen.
Shep was busy starting their breakfast. She could tell he was embarrassed. He thought he’d put her on the spot with the present. She smiled to herself, seeing that he didn’t want her upset about not buying him anything. That was so like him.
“This is for you,” she said, feeling her own embarrassment at her unsightly gift.
He looked from her to the envelope in her hand and back again. “Charlie?”
She could understand his confusion as he took the battered envelope from her. His name was printed on the outside, the ink faded.
There was a question in his gaze, but he slowly lowered himself into a kitchen chair. She felt her heart rise to her throat as he carefully opened the envelope and took out the single sheet of paper inside.
Dear Shep,
He had been holding his breath but now had to let it out as he breathed and continued reading.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done. It makes the judge’s boot camp seem easy. I love you. With all my heart, which is breaking as I write this. But we are too young. All this happened too soon. I know that but it doesn’t make this any easier.
He had to stop to swallow before he could go on. All these years, he believed that she’d left because she hadn’t loved him. Not enough.
I’m going to leave later tonight, because if I see you tomorrow as we planned, I won’t be able to go, and I have to for both of our sakes. I know you said we would find a way. But I love you too much. I don’t want to keep you from whatever life promises are ahead of you.
Blinking back his own tears, he saw where the paper was wrinkled and the writing smeared from her tears so long ago.
Don’t hate me for taking this way out. If it hadn’t been for you that day on the obstacle course... I owe you whatever good things happen in my life.
I’ll never forget you. I’ll never stop loving you,
Charlie
At the bottom of the sheet of paper was a drawing, reminding him again of how Charlie was always doodling that summer they were together. He studied the doodle and felt his heart stutter in his chest. His throat wen
t dry. “It’s us.”
She had drawn them holding hands as the sun rose behind them.
For a moment, he couldn’t look at her. His eyes burned with unshed tears as he carefully folded the letter and put it back in the envelope with great care.
She had loved him. She hadn’t just walked away as if what they had wasn’t something special. Why hadn’t she gotten this to him? Didn’t she know that he would have moved heaven and earth to find her?
He nodded to himself. She knew. She knew that once he saw this letter, there would be nothing stopping him from finding her, from keeping her. His heart cried out that they could have made it even as young as they were. But his common sense knew what a struggle it would have been. Their love could have overcome the obstacles. He was sure of that. But at what cost?
Setting the envelope carefully on the table, he looked up at her, this woman he’d loved for so long and thought he’d lost forever. They couldn’t rewrite the past. The future stretched out in front of them. If he was smart, if he was lucky, if he was reading the look in her eyes correctly...
“Charlie.”
And then he was on his feet and she was in his arms and he was kissing her and holding her and saying all the things he never got to say to her all those years ago.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHARLIE HAD TOLD herself all the rational reasons she couldn’t, wouldn’t. But once she was in Shep’s arms again, all those arguments flew out the window. It was Christmas. He’d just given her the best present she could ever ask for. And yet neither of those was the reasons she said yes.
For the first time in a very long time, she didn’t feel the hand of doom hanging over her. There was no dark cloud dogging her. She was stepping into sunshine without an umbrella. It seemed inconceivable, but she wasn’t afraid of what tomorrow would bring. She could embrace the moment without fear.
The look he’d given her had required only one word. Yes. Yes, she wanted him. Yes, she had never stopped loving him. Yes, she could no longer fight it.
The realization had made her laugh with glee. She loved this man. This middle school math teacher who’d come to Bozeman to try to save her because he still loved her even after the way she’d left him all those years ago.
“Yes?” he asked as his gaze locked with hers.
“Yes.” It came out on an excited breath. “Yes.”
Shep laughed and swung her up into his arms. Kissing her, he shoved open her bedroom door and carried her to the edge of her unmade bed before slowly lowering her to her feet.
Their gazes locked. She could feel her own heart thundering in her chest as he kissed her again. Deepening the kiss, her body pressed tight against his. She could feel every hard inch of him. He pulled back only enough to untie the sash on her robe. She felt it fall open, heard his surprise as he looked down at what she was wearing.
“That’s my T-shirt,” he said.
“What’s left of it,” she admitted. “It went from soft to so thin now that...” She didn’t have to tell him that the T-shirt was almost transparent. As his gaze moved over her, she felt her hard nipples pressing against the sheer fabric.
“You kept it.”
She nodded, emotion threatening to choke her. “It smelled like you. And then it didn’t, but it was still yours.”
He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe her. Desire burned in his eyes. His gaze locked with hers as he slipped her robe from her shoulders. It dropped to the floor at her feet, the T-shirt following it. His gaze moved over her body like a caress. Heat rippled over her right behind it, then goose bumps.
“Charlie, you’re so beautiful.” His voice broke.
She reached for his Western shirt, making the snaps sing as she jerked it open. Her palms pressed against the warm skin of his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath. As he stood there in nothing but jeans, she was reminded of him in only a towel. Could this man be any sexier?
He pulled her to him, kissing her deeply before trailing warm kisses down her throat. She shivered with longing as he pressed his lips to the hollow between her breasts, then took one hard nipple in his mouth and sucked gently. A moan escaped her. She arched against his mouth as he took the other nipple. His fingers caressed a path across her stomach and found her center.
She felt the wet warmth as he touched her in a way that made her insides go liquid. He took her higher and higher until she cried out with joy and sweet release. Her legs threatened to give out under her just before he swept her up into his arms again and lay her down on the bed.
She didn’t remember taking off his jeans, but her one desire had been to feel his naked body against her own.
For years, she’d thought of the boy she’d known. Now she found herself wrapped in the arms of the man he’d become. She felt the old memories fade as the two of them made love with an even stronger, more sustainable passion.
* * *
LATER, SATED AND drifting in a cloud of contentment, she looked over at Shep. She could feel his hand on her bare thigh. There was a smile on his face, his eyes shining as he glanced over at her.
“Does that answer any questions you might have?” he whispered.
She shook her head. “It requires no explanation.” She grinned. “But can I at least say, wow.”
He laughed. “My sentiments exactly.” He rolled on his side to face her. “Charlie.” He grazed his knuckles down her cheek, his gaze locking with hers. “I love you.”
“I love you, Shep. I always have. I always will.”
He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her. “Merry Christmas, Charlie.”
“Merry Christmas.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHRISTMAS DAY PASSED in a blur. There was cooking together in the kitchen listening to holiday music and laughing. There was more lovemaking. There were card games and board games. And later there were glasses of wine while sitting on the couch with only the lights of the Christmas tree twinkling in the room.
It had been one of the best days of his life, Shep thought the next morning when he awoke in Charlie’s bed with her in his arms. For a while, he’d been able to forget about Lindy and Lacey and the fact that Charlie was still in danger. He was actually looking forward to leaving town and going up to the ski resort at Big Sky for Amanda and Greg’s wedding.
“I thought we’d get some breakfast when we arrive at the resort,” he said after they’d showered and dressed and were having coffee in the kitchen.
She glanced at him over the rim of her mug. They’d made love again this morning before heading for the shower together. They couldn’t seem to get enough of each other.
“Your horoscope says that you’ve come through some confusing times, but that you have chosen the right path. Have confidence you have a bright future ahead.” He actually got her to smile. “Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think, maid of honor.”
Charlie groaned. “My phone blew up this morning with the details. Amanda bought me a dress to wear. She said she can’t trust me to have bought something appropriate or worse, that I didn’t buy something special at all.” She shook her head. “She is right about that anyway. She said she guessed at my size—with Greg’s help.” She groaned as Shep raised a brow.
“I’ll be glad when these two are married. Greg has definitely taken a special interest in you that I find disturbing.”
She nodded. “You aren’t the only one.”
“But once he sees us together...” He reached across the table to take her hand. “I can’t find the words for how I feel this morning.”
Charlie grinned. “Maybe you feel the same way I do. Spectacularly amazing? Are you really going to ski?”
“Snowboard. I took it up a couple of years ago. I could give you a lesson.”
She laughed.
“Did I ever tell you that I love your laugh?”
&nb
sp; She laughed again.
“Or I could keep you warm inside the lodge.”
* * *
“I HAVE BEEN dreading this trip,” Charlie admitted. “But the idea of curling up with you in the lodge definitely has its appeal.” That wasn’t all. It would be good to get away from town for a while. Away from the Lindy/Lacey problem.
“They got another ten inches of snow last night,” Shep said. “I’m actually glad that we’re going. I’ll just be glad when the wedding part is over.”
She was having trouble keeping her mind on the wedding. Kat had apparently skipped town with her youngest daughter, just as she said she was going to. And Lacey? No one knew.
“The police aren’t going to do anything, are they?” she said to Shep.
He didn’t seem surprised at the trail her thoughts had taken. “There isn’t a lot they can do. You gave them a photo of Lindy so they’ll be on the lookout for her twin. That’s about all they can do at this point unless she tries to get on a plane.”
“Or until she breaks the law by killing me.”
“Exactly,” Shep said, squeezing her hand. “But she has to kill me first to get to you.”
Charlie grimaced. “Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.” She glanced at her phone. “I should get dressed. According to Amanda’s schedule, we have rehearsal this afternoon, followed by a dinner.” He let go of her hand as she rose and finished her coffee. “But I’m warning you right now. I will need breakfast sooner than Big Sky. I don’t remember having dinner last night, which means I didn’t, and after...” As she met those bottomless blue eyes, she grinned. “I need sustenance.”
* * *
SHEP SEEMED IN a great mood as they drove out of Bozeman toward Big Sky and Charlie found it contagious. She thought about how angry he’d been with Kat, with the police, with the situation. But today, with the sky a brilliant blue, the sun turning the fallen snow to sparkling crystals, he seemed...free. At least for a while.
