His Dark Embrace
Page 28
Then she saw Shain waiting at the bottom of the stairs, looking up as she made her descent to meet him. The moment their eyes locked, a rush of nervousness blazed over her, as if to remind her of the significance of what she was doing. The risk she was continually taking with her mind, body, and soul.
Shain’s mouth parted as he stared at her, jerking to the first step and then stepping back with a soft snarl. “Gods, you look amazing.”
That’s what his voice said. His eyes blazed with, I’m going to devour you.
Good. She longed to be devoured. “I’m underdressed.” She stopped at the bottom step. “Or, as usual, you’re overdressed.”
“Nevertheless, you are simply beautiful. As for me, you can never be overdressed for dinner.”
Because she couldn’t go another second without touching him, she brushed her fingers down the side of his face. “I want to see you in your tracksuit again. Do you still have it?”
He sighed with exaggeration. “I’m afraid it’s missing. I’ve been most distressed about its whereabouts.”
“Ha! Oh, I’m sure. You’re going to do something like that with me again.”
His smile faded briefly. “Perhaps.” Before she could overanalyze it, he snatched her to him, grinning as he carried her toward the dining room. “Come. I can hear your stomach growling. I refuse to take the chance of you fainting in my arms again. Let’s get this dinner over with so we can move to dessert.”
“You know, some people eat dessert before the meal.”
“By the gods, as tempted as I am to do that, I know you have had nothing other than some cheese and crackers today. Chef told me.” He set her down by a chair where the table was set for two. “You need your energy for later. Later might last hours. My appetite goes beyond these plates, remember. So even when we finish eating, I’ll still be very, very hungry.”
Her sex clenched at the thought.
The server brought the covered silver tray around in front of her, but nothing was set in front of Shain.
“You’re not going to make me eat alone, are you?” she teased.
Shain sat back, resting an elbow on the arm of the chair, bringing his fingers to his mouth as if to observe her every reaction. “Remove the cover.”
Oh no, he wasn’t about to offer her something off-the-wall like tiger brains, was he? Scooting a little closer, she hesitated before grasping the handle of the heavy cover and lifted, then gasped.
It wasn’t food; it was a minor mountain of money, stacked in a pyramid, crisp, and smelling as if it’d just been printed. Her hand shook as she set down the cover with a loud clang.
Her mouth opened and closed several times before her voice caught up, squeaking out: “What’s this?”
“That is only a sample. The rest is in a suitcase.”
“The rest?”
“Yes.”
Those were Jacksons wrapped in stacks. At least ten grand. Shain reached over and took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, looking down long enough to flick at her instincts that he was going to say something poignant.
“What you did, with Tanaka. I don’t think I’ll meet another with the same courage and generosity.” He lifted his softly glowing gaze. “You changed my life, Kimber. In more ways than one. I want to repay you the only way I know how. I also want you to receive your heart’s desire: independence from the pack. Your own home. Enough money to buy security and protection in order to keep both a reality. Or to do with it what you want. Give it to your pack, say you won a scratch-off. Donate to your favorite charity, start a business, it doesn’t matter. It’s all yours to do with as you wish.”
Her mind reeled with the surprise. She didn’t expect compensation for helping him get the ally, let alone enough to fund the start of a new life. “Shain. I…I don’t know what to say.”
“You needn’t say anything.”
“But I have to.” She slipped her hand from his and gestured at the pile of bundled bills. “I can’t accept this.”
“Of course you can.”
The sight was hypnotizing her. She rushed to cover it, closing her eyes. “If that’s just a sample, then you’re giving me an obscene amount of money.”
“I knew you would refuse, but I want you to take it. Besides, who can think on an empty stomach? Let’s eat.” He snapped his fingers, and seconds later, the server took the tray of cash away. A plate of actual food replaced it, the hot steak and potatoes wafting to her nose.
Her appetite revived, she picked up her fork and steak knife. “Well, covered dishes will never look the same to me again.”
Shain lifted his wineglass with a crooked smile before he claimed a sip.
“Did you say briefcase or suitcase?” she asked.
“You know I love my suits.”
A suitcase of money? Good thing she was sitting down. “I don’t feel right accepting your money.”
“You’ll get used to the idea.”
She cut into her steak. Why was the offering discomfiting her? Like the money was a parting gift? “Feels as though you’ve done this sort of thing before.”
“Done what sort of thing?”
“Brought a woman to a secluded house. Wined and dined and seduced her. Leaving her money on the bedside table before you disappear from her life.”
The energy crackled around her, and she regretted her passive-aggressive statement. Why couldn’t she just say “thank you” and enjoy the rest of the night? Even though she didn’t think what she’d done was that extraordinary, Shain did. So much so, he was handing her a small fortune.
“Kimber. Look at me.”
She met his gaze with some shame in her own.
“Everything I’ve done with and for you, from the moment we met, has been a first. I’ve never…” His jaw clenched for a moment, then he resumed cutting his chicken. “You’re the first. That’s all. The villa. The surprises. The money. Everything.”
Little did he know, he’d be a first. To think of all things she could do with that money… Her own home wouldn’t have to be a fantasy. Her independence wasn’t as unreachable as it had been just yesterday. All she had to do was take the money.
Still felt wrong. No, not wrong per se...
Cheap.
Almost as if being gifted with cold, hard cash diminished what they had. As if Shain had decided a value on their time together, and that was the sum of it. That was the price he was willing to pay, and no more. She would’ve rather been offered nothing but his gratitude. And would trade all of it for more time with him.
A way to see each other every night of every day.
Kimber swallowed a piece of prime rib that she barely tasted.
Why did she feel desperate suddenly? When did her feelings metamorphose to obsession? Why would something like money trigger an urgency to hold on?
She had no idea.
But to waste time was a waste of time.
She sipped some wine and stared at him.
Forget the prolonged night of seduction. She wanted him like she’d wanted no one before, as if the sensation were brand new and now there was no holding back.
With care, she dabbed the corners of her mouth and set her napkin on her half-eaten plate. “I’m done.”
Shain’s mouth dropped as she stood up, lowered her straps and stepped out of her dress. She adopted a haughty air as she walked out of the dining room in her lace panties and bra and thigh-high stockings and made her way up the stairs.
The next thing she heard was cutlery clattering on a plate and the hard scoot of a chair scraping on the floor.
Chapter Twenty-Five
His room smelled like him. Elegant, masculine. Vampiric.
She walked toward the king-sized bed and turned to see Shain at the threshold.
He just stood there. Staring. At last, he entered.
“Why are you moving so slowly?” she asked.
“Because I’m afraid if I move too fast, I’ll wake up.” He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled i
t from its tuck. “Would you believe me if I said I’ve never felt desire like this before? And I’m quite sure, I never will again?”
She swallowed. Would that mean he might be more ravenous than he would normally be?
She hoped so.
“I believe you,” she whispered.
Next to go were his belt and shoes, his eyes giving an earnest, bright glow she’d never seen before. “I’m going to go so slow, it’s going to feel like we’ve stopped time. Because I want to savor every second, every minute, and make you come again and again until sunrise.” He was inches from her now, taking her face in his hands. “Would that be all right with you?”
Would she use any other word more than ‘yes’ from now on? “Yes.”
His lips coasted on hers. He was exerting control, skillfully so. For her benefit, she was sure of that. He wanted to take his time, but she didn’t want him to suffer for it. Without touching herself, she knew she was already wet beyond belief.
She lay back on the bed and started playing with her pussy as he watched, eyes like blue torch flames.
He placed his body between her legs, his mouth tugging at her nipple, catching it between his teeth before sucking gently, and moving to her neck.
The second his fingers grazed her wet center, she let out a little cry. When he started circling her clit, she shook, too breathless to move.
And almost too aroused to speak.
But she had to.
“Shain,” she groaned, arching her back. “There’s something I want to tell you.” Her eyes rolled back while he continued to suck on her neck. He slid his mouth down the slope to her shoulder. She held his jaw and moved back to meet his eyes. “It’s important.”
Drawing back, he searched her gaze. “What is it?”
Did she have to tell him? No, but she really wanted to, wanted him to grasp what he meant to her, what this meant to her. “You are my…I’ve never...” At the puzzled look on his face, she sighed. “This is my first time.”
Had she kneed him in the groin, he might’ve projected less shock.
“I’m a virgin,” she said, to make it clear.
“A… You mean to tell me you…?” Denial reflected in his eyes first, then bewilderment followed with disbelief. “Your first time?” he whispered. “But you…we…” He carefully climbed off her and sat up. “How?”
She sat up with him. “I was saving myself. For my mate. But now, I want my first to be you.”
Shain opened his mouth, closed it, and swallowed. “I see.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. But I wanted you to know.”
He skimmed a hand down his mouth and chin, shaking. “No apology, Kimber. I’m glad you told me. That’s a beautiful gift to give. To your mate.”
Her heart lurched. Why did he talk like she would go home, untouched?
The second he moved off the bed, the mood altered. “What’s wrong?” She attempted a light tone. There was no way her admission had halted the night’s breathless trajectory. “You’re not afraid of a little virginity, are you? I promise I won’t just lie there.”
The attempt at humor didn’t penetrate. Shain walked to the French doors of the veranda, and she could not get a read on him. The fact she didn’t know if he was disappointed, or upset, or just digesting the news, had her mind scrambling.
Kimber shortened the distance between them again, resting a light hand between his strong shoulder blades. “It’s not a big deal.”
“By the gods, yes, it is.” He hung his head. “I sensed you weren’t sexually experienced, especially compared to me, but it never occurred to me I’d be your first. Now it makes sense, what Tanaka said to me that night, why your blood was so exceptional. A virgin shiya. That’s what he really meant. You are literally pure.”
“Pure? That’s hardly true. I’m not a maiden with a chastity belt. In my eyes, you’ve been inside me in every way except the physical.” At his silence, she added, “If you think I haven’t thought about this a thousand times before deciding, you’re wrong. I thought about it a million times. Asked myself why I would give in to a vampire out of all the men who’ve tried.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was worried I’d never see you again. Or that you’d take it as a challenge, and pressure me into sleeping with you.” She rested her forehead on his back, her hands on his hips, needing his touch again. “Why does this bother you so much? Why are we even talking?”
She heard him whisper, ‘Oh, gods’ before he choked out, “You’ll only regret it, Kimber.”
“How? I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any man. Saving myself meant nothing to no one. Who even does that anymore?”
“You. That’s what makes you more of a treasure than the rest.”
The disconnection grew larger and wider. “Shain—”
“I will not take something you’ve been guarding for him. I’m just not that kind of bastard, no matter how much I want to take his place.” He leaned his palms on the doors. “You’re leaving soon. You have to go back to your life in the light and I have to return to my life in the dark.” Finally, he turned, eyes full of pain when his voice remained rational. “We should stop this now before either of us tempt the gods to really fuck with our lives.”
Kimber’s world tilted. She couldn’t believe how fast things were falling apart. “A minute ago, we were going to finally make love and now you want to stop altogether? All because I told you I’m a virgin?”
“It’s not just that. It’s…it’s…”
Angry, disappointed, she pushed him, hard enough to send him against the doors, cracking the glass panes. “Then why, damn it!”
“Because you’re not mine!” he roared back, balling his hands to fists. “You belong to someone else! Your destined mate is out there searching for you, yearning for you, the one you’re truly meant for. Even if I made love to you a thousand times between now and the day you leave, I’ll never have you. Do you understand? I’ve been fooling myself this whole time, thinking this was just a game, when my feelings go well beyond what’s wise. The way you look at me…the way you’re looking at me right now proves we’ve crossed a line. Why should we keep going and make it even harder on ourselves in the end? Because we have to end at some point, Kimber.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Sex will make this even more complicated. And now that I know you’re untouched, I can’t let this continue. No matter when, whether it’s tonight or in September, I have to let you go. I’d rather do it now, with some integrity, knowing that I made the right choice not to take your virginity. An honor I have no right to claim!”
Her head spun, her eyes stung. “So that’s it? We’re through? Because you can’t handle ‘taking’ something that’s my choice to give?”
His voice was hoarse with resignation. “You’ll be grateful for this someday.”
“For you rejecting me? Hurting me?”
He closed his eyes. “Kimber—”
“If I’d had sex before, you wouldn’t have hesitated!” She turned when he marched past her, and she sought to hurt him in return. “Fine. I’ll make it a non-issue. I’ll pick up a guy in a bar and have a one-night-stand. I won’t be a virgin the next time we see each other.”
He stopped and faced her. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would.”
They stared each other down.
“You’ve been saving yourself for your mate, and then you’d lose it to some random like it was nothing to you?”
“Well, it’s the only thing that’s stopping me from getting what I want and I want you. So go. I’ll find you afterward.”
He flinched. “Like hell you will. You’re being immature and trying to manipulate me.”
She and her wolf growled. “I don’t care. I don’t care that you feel guilty about a man I’ve never met, so I’ll get it over with.” Her lips quivered, knowing she would do no such thing, but the words came out, anyway. “I’ll find a guy who doesn’t know what I a
m. He’ll like what he sees, like the way I kiss, how I touch, taste, and he’ll be inside me, and it’ll be done—”
“No stranger is going to put his hands on you! Don’t even go there. I’m begging you.” He sighed, calming his tone. “Think. Think of how your mate will feel once you tell him you waited for him. That no man has had your body the way he will. Think of how much he’ll love you even more for it.”
A true mate would love her either way. And just because she saved herself didn’t mean her mate wouldn’t think it wasn’t silly or in vain. “I didn’t do it just for him. It was to protect me, too. I didn’t want to be used, didn’t want to have sex for the sake of it. I wanted my first time to mean something. Shain, please.” She hung her head, tears falling. “I don’t want to wait for some imaginary shief. I want it to be you. My very real, flesh-and-blood vampire.” Whom I love. She wanted to say the words, but had a feeling it would only make things worse. She placed a hand on the side of his face, seeing the inner fight, hoping he would lose and she would win.
He turned his face in her hand, closing his eyes. “Oh, gods.”
Gone was the seductive creature of desire and playfulness, but a man caught in a violent storm of indecision, and to her, a thwarted sense of honor.
“Kimber, it’s not hard to see that I’m selfish. I always take and take, telling myself I’ve earned it, deserve it, need it. And I get away with it.” His hand covered hers and squeezed. “But I haven’t earned you. Your true mate is the one who should have tonight.”
Back to this again. What couldn’t he understand? She jerked out of his hold. “What do you care about him or what he deserves? He’s an unknown. A total stranger to us. He’s not here. He doesn’t matter. You are. You do.”
Shain grasped her with both hands and lightly shook her. “This has gone too far. It’ll hurt like hell now, but in time, you’ll barely think of me once you meet your mate.”
How could he say that? He wouldn’t have, if he knew how she really felt. “That’s not true.”
“Regardless, we have to stop. To even have made it this far without serious consequences is a fucking miracle.”