by L.H. Cosway
My hands were in the process of fixing my hair when he caught my wrist. I froze, sucking in a harsh breath as I glanced up at him. There was a storm in his eyes. “Don’t do that,” he said, voice thick as he let go of my wrist, and my hands fell into my lap.
“Sorry. I forgot for a second that you hate me right now and I’m supposed to be grovelling for forgiveness.”
Something I said made him frown. “What makes you think I hate you?”
“Well, you never responded to my voicemail for a start,” I reminded him, shoulders hunched. I felt defensive. I couldn’t help it. In the grand scheme of things, it had only been half a day, but I was hurt that he hadn’t made contact. Hadn’t he promised me just last night that he wouldn’t abandon me as the others had?
“I’m mad at you, Afric. That doesn’t mean I hate you.”
“And you have every right to be mad. Yes, a part of me is glad I was drunk enough to tell Leanne about Annabelle, mainly because it means we never have to see that bitch’s face ever again, but I’m also so, so sorry for doing it. It was a dickhead move. I am a dickhead.”
“I’m the only dickhead in this situation,” Neil said, exhaling. “And you’re right. A part of me is glad that you told Leanne and the secret is finally out in the open.”
“What is it then? Are you mad about the hacking?”
“I would be if it weren’t for the fact that Leanne gave you the go-ahead. It’s her relationship that would be affected if those screenshots ever saw the light of day.”
“So, what then?”
Neil’s jaw moved in a weird way, his expression broody. “What you did was fucked up, Afric. I need some time before I’m ready to forgive you for it.”
All those helium balloons I mentioned? Someone just stuck a pin in them. Several moments of quiet passed before I spoke tentatively, “Since you’re still working, I take it you didn’t get fired?”
At this, several emotions flickered behind his eyes, the most notable being guilt. “Yes, Callum and Leanne insisted I stay on.”
“That’s good news.”
He shook his head. “I’m going to resign. I just need to find a suitable replacement, train them up, and then I’ll hand in my notice.”
“But why? If they want you to stay on, then they’ve clearly forgiven you.”
“It’s not as simple as that. From a moral standpoint, it wouldn’t be right for me to stay on. And besides, I have other plans, and I’ve been using my job as a crutch not to pursue them.”
“Really? What sort of plans?” I asked, curious.
“The next stop is ours,” Neil said in a flat voice before standing and joining the group who were waiting to get off. I followed, a little miffed that he refused to answer my question. I stood next to him, making the mistake of not grabbing hold of a bar as the train came to a stop, which meant I fell right into Neil. His hands came up to my shoulders, steadying me, and I got a waft of his familiar scent. It was so powerful I had to close my eyes for a second.
“Afric, are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded and opened my eyes, glancing up at him. Our gazes locked, and I couldn’t look away. We’d been apart for less than a day, and it already felt like a lifetime. I missed him so much. The emotional wall he’d thrown up was the worst part. I wanted my Neil back, the one who tried not to smile too hard when I teased him or said something funny. The one who I’d catch looking at me with worship in his eyes when he didn’t know I was paying attention.
“I’m fine,” I whispered, and he nodded, eyes running over me.
Then he glanced to the side and swore. The doors had closed, and the train was on the move again.
“We can get out at the next stop and come back this way,” he said.
“Sorry. I distracted you,” I whispered.
He cast me a soft glance. “You have a habit of doing that.”
Tingles skittered down my spine at the husky note in his voice, at the glimpse of warmth. We fell into silence again and stayed by the doors until we arrived at the next stop. We got off then hopped on the train going in the opposite direction. When we finally got back to our intended destination, it was only a short walk to the archive. The building was old and rundown. I took the lead and did all the talking, and the archivist, a cranky old guy in a green jumper, admitted us entrance. He led us down a narrow, musty hallway and into a dank storage room lined with filing cabinets.
“You should be able to find what you’re looking for in here. I clock off in an hour, though, so you better be done by then.”
“We will be. Thanks for your help,” Neil said, and the man shot him an unimpressed look, grunting as he left.
Neil went to the first cabinet and pulled it open, flicking through folders.
“Can I help?” I asked.
“No, thank you. It shouldn’t take too long to find the schematics, so long as they’ve been filed correctly.”
I nodded and leaned against one of the cabinets. Neil’s back was to me, and I noticed he was wearing jeans. Most days, he wore slacks, especially while he was working. It was a rare and wonderful occasion to see him in jeans; his cute backside encased to perfection in the dark denim.
“I can feel you staring at me. Stop it,” he said gruffly.
“Well, what am I supposed to do? There isn’t anything else to look at in here.”
He heaved a sigh. “Just … I don’t know … Look at your phone or something.”
“I don’t want to look at my phone.”
“You are so bloody irritating,” he huffed.
“And you’re so easy to wind up,” I shot back, not expecting it when he swiftly turned around. A millisecond later, he was on me, backing me up into the cabinet as his hands cupped my face. “Infuriating woman. Why am I so obsessed with you?” he asked in a gravelly voice that had me clenching my thighs.
I didn’t have a chance to respond because his mouth came crashing down on mine, his tongue an invading army I was helpless to defend against. He groaned into the kiss, and I melted, my pulse racing. Neil’s knee came between my legs, nudging them apart as his mouth practically drank me in. I felt thoroughly consumed as I brought my hands up to rest on his shoulders. I had to admit; his kiss was an onslaught I wasn’t prepared for. It was an angry, passionate, punishing kiss. It was a kiss that said, I’m not ready to forgive you, but I am ready to take things out on you in a sexual manner.
I had no problem with that.
He could take things out on me all he wanted. He could be mad at me so long as he didn’t stop doing whatever he was doing with his tongue. My fingers reached up, scratching into the base of his skull. He groaned, pressing closer, his erection hard against my belly. My core ached for him. I needed him inside me, filling me up until I forgot everything else that existed except for the two of us.
Almost like he could read my mind, his hand slipped inside my leggings and past my underwear. His mouth left mine, and I inhaled large gulps of air while he planted kisses along my neck, sucked on my earlobe.
“I need you,” he rasped as his fingers slid into the folds of my sex. “You’re so wet. Is this for me?”
I bit my lip, burying my face in his shoulder. Something about his dirty talk made me shy. And what were we even doing? That old archivist could be hiding somewhere, spying on us through the keyhole. But at that moment, I was too far gone to care.
“Yes. It’s for you,” I replied breathlessly as Neil found my clit, circling it with two fingers. I gasped when his tongue slid inside the shell of my ear, causing tingles to skitter down my back and culminate at the base of my spine in the most pleasurable way.
His mouth returned to mine, and I didn’t think it was possible, but he kissed me even more ferociously than before. I was nothing but sensation as his free hand went under my top, firmly gripping my breast, his thumb flicking over my extremely sensitive nipple. I moaned again, and this seemed to please him.
“Your tits are perfect. I dream about them,” he said into the kiss.<
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“I want your mouth on them,” I said past a whimper, and he groaned.
“I want that, too, beautiful.”
His fingers moved away from my clit to sink inside me, and my eyes opened. Neil was already watching me, his irises ablaze in the dimly lit room. I couldn’t look away as his fingers gently pumped, mimicking the motions of what his cock might do if he were inside me. My head fell back against the cabinet. Neil flicked my nipple, and a fresh shockwave of arousal went through me.
“I love the feel of you,” he said, gaze worshipful.
“I love the feel of you loving the feel of me,” I answered back, and the look on his face was one of pure devastation. His fingers returned to my clit, and I felt something building in me. It had been a long while since I’d had a non-self-inflicted orgasm. I’d almost forgotten how intense it could be when someone was attuned to you, when they just naturally found the right rhythm to drive you to release.
Neil and I had spent the last few months syncing up, and now, the symphony of us was in perfect harmony.
“I’m going to come,” I gasped.
Outside, we both heard footsteps clipping down the hallway. I tensed, staring at Neil in panic, but his eyes held masculine determination. He wasn’t stopping, not for anything. Not even for the possibility of someone walking in on us right now.
Thankfully, the footsteps continued past our door, and I was on the precipice of coming. Neil’s circles sped up, and a split second later, my orgasm hit. I shook against him, waves of divine pleasure washing over me as his mouth came to my neck, pressing kisses to the sensitive hollow as he drew out the final few tremors.
“Now, we’re even,” he murmured huskily against my skin.
“If you keep kissing my neck, I’m going to shove my hand down your pants and make us uneven again,” I warned. His answering chuckle was low and deep enough to be felt in the pit of my stomach.
Reluctantly, he moved away, his gaze dark and sumptuous. My jaw dropped when he brought his fingers to his lips and sucked them clean, tasting my pleasure. There was something so carnally sinful about it. I felt like I could come again just from watching him.
Neil Durant had a naughty streak. Who would have known?
I swallowed as I fixed my rumpled clothing.
Neil’s eyes were apologetic. “I shouldn’t have jumped on you like that.”
“I liked you jumping on me. And besides, I was the one goading you by staring at your arse.”
He chuckled quietly, then raked a hand through his hair. “I suppose we should have that talk.”
Nerves flooded me. I’d been dying to talk to him, but now I feared it. What if he said he couldn’t forgive me? What if that was merely a parting orgasm? A farewell finger fuck? I would be devastated.
“Shouldn’t you find that file you’re after first? We don’t have much time left.”
Neil nodded soberly. “Right, yes, I should find the file, then we’ll talk.”
With that, he turned and opened a cabinet. Thirty seconds later, he had the file in his hand. We found a photocopier down the hall, and he quietly made a copy before returning the file to its rightful place. Leaving the building, I noticed it had started to rain. Neil motioned to the small coffee shop across the street.
“Want to go over there and grab something to drink?” he asked, and I nodded even though I really just wanted to run away. Anything to avoid the possibility of him saying that though he still lusted me, he couldn’t forgive me. I followed him into the coffee shop, and we found a wobbly, cramped table in the back. A woman with dyed black hair served us two frothy cappuccinos, and then we just sat there looking at each other.
“Go on, then,” I said. “Feel free to tell me what an awful bitch I am. I can take it.”
“You’re not an awful bitch. If anything, I’m the awful one.” He paused, rubbing his chin. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and it wasn’t fair of me to drag you into my mess with Annabelle, especially not after I started having feelings for you.”
“Oh,” I said, fiddling with a coaster. “Well, it’s not like you could’ve known that would happen. You didn’t fancy me at all in the beginning.”
“That’s not true. I thought you were pretty,” he said, then smirked as he amended. “Pretty, but annoying.”
I laughed softly. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I thought you were handsome but stuck-up.”
He shot me a disbelieving look. “Handsome? Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“That’s good to know,” he said, shooting me a sexy smile. “And you’re right. I probably was a little stuck-up.”
“I probably was a little annoying.”
We both laughed. Our gazes held. Neil emitted a long sigh.
“I miss you so much it hurts right here,” he said candidly, tapping the centre of his chest.
I reached across the table to take his hand into mine. “I have a matching hurt in the exact spot.”
His eyes flickered back and forth. “I guess we should forgive each other. To make the pain go away if nothing else.”
“You’re the one who needs to forgive.”
He shook his head. “Not true. As I said, it was wrong of me to string you along and involve you in my Annabelle mess. I’ll never do anything like that ever again.”
Hope bloomed. “Ever again? Does that mean—”
He squeezed my hand. “I want to be with you, Afric. I want you to be mine. The way you make me feel, I’ll never have that with anyone else.”
My eyes lowered to the table, an unusual feeling of shyness coming over me when I said, “So, you want to be my boyfriend?”
“Yes. I want that. More than anything.”
Water filled my eyes. The tenderness of this moment was too much.
“Hey,” Neil said, leaning across the table and lifting his other hand to wipe at the tears rolling down my cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
I lifted my gaze to his, sniffling. “I was just so worried that you’d cut me out of your life. It’s happened to me before too many times.”
“Afric,” Neil said. “Please listen to me and believe me when I say this. The way I feel about you is unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I could never cut you out of my life, not even if I wanted to. You’re in here now,” he said, touching his chest again. “I need you.”
“I need you, too,” I whispered. And he had no idea how much I’d needed to hear those words, how much I needed the reassurance.
Amid the chatter of the small café, his fingers weaved through mine as he brought my hand to his mouth and pressed a sultry kiss to my knuckles. I felt it all the way between my legs. He stared at me with such male possession that I had to look away, using my free hand to lift my mug and take a small sip.
“There’s just one outstanding matter,” I said as I set the mug back down.
Neil arched an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“We’re currently even on the giving and receiving of orgasms front,” I said and relished the faint hint of red that marked his cheeks as he glanced around to make sure no one was listening. “But where it concerns the revealing of secrets, I’m one up on you. So, this means you have my permission to tell everyone about the time I fashioned an adult nappy for myself before failing to achieve the world record I was trying to break. I think that one is sufficiently humiliating.”
At this, Neil gave a low chuckle. “I thought you said Michaela and Sarita already knew about that.”
“Oh, feck, you’re right. That means it’s technically not a secret anymore. Okay, how about this one—”
“Let me stop you there,” Neil interrupted. “You can tell me as many secrets as you like, but I won’t be revealing them to anyone.”
“Why not?”
He gave my hand another squeeze. “Because I don’t want to. And also, because the secret you revealed was one I should’ve revealed myself months ago.”
“I still hate that I did that to you. Normally, I’m like a sealed
vault when it comes to secrets.”
“I know that. It was an unusual circumstance, not to mention alcohol was involved.”
I nodded, falling silent as I continued to sip my coffee. I felt Neil’s eyes on me as I brought my gaze to his. I shot him a questioning look. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“I actually wanted to ask you something.”
“Oh?”
“How do you like being your own boss?”
“Um, it has its pros and cons, but mostly the pros outweigh the cons. Why?”
“Hmm.”
“What does ‘hmm’ mean?”
“I’m thinking of starting my own business,” he said, and my eyes widened.
“You are. That’s exciting. What kind of business?”
“Event planning.”
“Oh! That’s perfect,” I said, remembering him once telling me how much he enjoyed that part of his job as an assistant. “You and Michaela seem to be constantly planning birthdays and special occasions and private screenings and whatnot.”
“Yes. All the Annabelle drama aside, I thought it was about time I moved on with my career. I don’t want to be an assistant forever.”
“You seem happy about this decision,” I said. “It’s a good look for you.”
“You’re a good look for me,” he shot back, and I barked a laugh.
“Oh, my God, I love flirty Neil. He’s my favourite. Wait, since we’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend, does that mean you’re going to start taking me on dates? Will you wear a shirt and tie? Will I get chocolates and flowers?”
“Yes. Yes, to all of that. In fact, we should make Michaela and James’s engagement party next weekend our first official date.”
I grinned at him. “I’m excited. This is very exciting.”
He didn’t reply, instead he leaned across the table again and captured my lips in a kiss.
22.
Neil
I sensed the attention of a few of the coffee shop patrons as I gave Afric a less-than-appropriate kiss for a public space. When we finally broke apart for air, I relished the dreamy look in her eyes. I wanted to make her look like that all the time, preferably while lying naked in my bed.
