His daughter.
What pain could Sophia have ever have caused Carissa to have the girl react to her in such a way? In fact, Sophia thought, Carissa should love her. After all, she walked away from the man she loved so he could be with his daughter…and her mother.
The notes Sophia played strained, and she tossed her head back as she finished what would be her solo on stage.
She’d been aware that when she’d left, the little girl and her mother moved into Sophia and David’s home. They both should have thanked her for getting out of their way.
The last note was long and she drew it out, letting the stress in her body draw out with it. She had her music. She had her career. She had Pablo. They were all she needed.
She stored her bow and wiped down her instrument, her fingers aching. Her grandmother would be waiting dinner on her. No one would ever interrupt her playing, and guilt began to flood her senses as she realized she’d been playing all afternoon.
She fixed up her hair and wiped the makeup smudges from under her eyes before opening the door to her room.
David stood against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and a beautiful smile on his lips.
She shut the door behind her. “What are you doing?”
“Listening.” He moved from the wall, taking a step toward her that put them face-to-face. “God, you’re amazing.”
“I don’t think…”
He cut off her words with a gaze that locked her eyes to his. Her heart slammed into her chest as she felt her lip quiver. Anticipation flooded her when she thought about him. She longed to kiss him again, and his eyes seemed to register the same thought.
David moved to her, their bodies now lightly touching. He reached for her, touched her face, and rested his other hand on her waist.
“You had a bigger audience.”
“I did?” Her words were unsteady. His hands were on her. His body was so near she could feel the heat he gave off.
He nodded, stroking her hair, and then dropping his hand. “Carissa was listening until she left for work.”
“Was the music bothering her?”
He laughed. “Quite the contrary. She plays cello.”
“She does?” Her voice wavered, an aftershock of attraction jolting through her system.
“Don’t expect her to admit it, but she plays because of you.”
“I don’t understand. She hates me.”
“You’ve always been a big part of her life. We used to watch those PBS specials with Pablo DiAngelo so we could see you.”
“You did?”
“I missed you.” He slid his hand off her waist and grasped her fingers. “She knew the music was special to me, and once she was old enough, she asked me what instrument my friend on TV played. I told her the cello, and she signed up. It pissed her mother off.” He smiled, but it was sad. “She’s enamored by you, but she’ll be horrible to you while you’re here. She’s a teenager, and now she’s a teenager with a broken heart.”
“The boyfriend?”
“Ex-boyfriend. I gather she stepped into the middle of that kiss and gave them both a piece of her mind before calling me.” His pride showed, and it had Sophia stiffening to keep herself from sulking.
David stepped back and released her hand from his. He’d changed into a pair of khakis and a blue, button-down shirt that accentuated the breadth of his shoulders.
“You played past dinnertime. The ladies ate without you.”
“I should have paid better attention to the time,” she admitted, feeling the pang of guilt burn in her stomach. “It’s a bad habit of mine.”
“I remember. I’d like to take you out, if you’d consider going on a date with me.”
“A date?” She shook her head.
“Dinner with an old friend?”
“I am a little hungry.” What could it hurt, she wondered as she stood in the hallway looking at the man she’d thought of every day since she’d left. It was only dinner, though part of her wished it could be more. “I think that would be lovely.”
He took her hand in his, and it felt natural. They walked down the stairs. They didn’t say goodbye to anyone, just let themselves out the front door.
But it wasn’t a secret. Loving eyes watched after them. The plans of two old women were moving in the right direction.
The maitre d’ of the restaurant that Sophia and David had once frequented led them to a secluded booth with soft lighting. David took her hand, and her pulse fluttered as he laced their fingers together for a moment before they slid into the seats on opposite sides of the table.
Sophia sank into the booth, aware of David’s gaze settling on her. He smiled that sexy smile that made her insides flip.
The waiter arrived at the table with a bottle of wine, and David gave his approval. Sophia watched as he filled their glasses and then retreated.
“What’s going on? Reservations? One of our favorite places? Bottle of wine brought right to the table?”
“Just taking a beautiful woman out to dinner.” He lifted his glass and clinked it against hers before taking a sip.
“You planned all this out.”
“The minute you and Carissa stopped fighting when we got home.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve missed you, and I wanted time alone with you.” He reached across the table and took her hand again. “I wanted to ask you why you destroyed my life and walked out on me.”
Sophia threw her napkin on the table and lurched out of the booth, but David was quicker. He scooted around the table and hemmed her in with his body.
“I’m sorry. I’d practiced that to come out differently.” He took a deep breath. “You walked out of my life and stayed away for ten years, without a word. The least you can do is sit with me, have dinner, and answer a few questions.”
Her jaw tightened, and she crossed her arms and rested them on the table. David took his seat once more.
The waiter arrived to take their order. David ordered for both of them and then drank down his glass of wine.
“I’m sorry. You’re not ready to talk about it. Let’s just have a nice dinner, like we used to.”
She bit the inside of her cheek. There was so much she wanted to say, and at the same time, nothing to say. His question was quite possibly as valid as hers were. She’d bide her time and try to remain calm.
“When did you change airlines?” She raised her glass to her lips, trying to ease the friction between them.
His eyes darkened in response to her retreat.
“Eight years ago. They had benefits, and I needed them for Carissa and Mandy.”
Mandy. It was the first time she’d ever heard the name of Carissa’s mother. Sophia swallowed the lump in her throat.
“That does make a difference.” She sipped her wine again, wishing it to numb her quickly. “And my grandmother knew you’d be the pilot of that flight she booked me on?”
“Actually that was Millie. I had no idea…” He stopped when her lips curled into a smile.
“I know. I think they’re still under the impression that their matchmaking skills are intact.”
David nodded. “What about you? When did you become Pablo DiAngelo’s cellist?”
Sophia was sure he already had his answer.
“He’d remembered me from when I played here with the symphony, and he came looking for me about the time I’d left.”
“I knew he was trouble.”
“What does that mean?”
“When he came through town and you played with him, I knew he was infatuated with you.”
She shook her head. “I hardly think the few evenings he was here were reason for you to fret.”
“Sophie, you were starstruck. How could you see what was going on around you?” David poured more wine into his glass. “Do you remember when he took us to dinner? It was as though there were only two of you in the whole restaurant.”
The waiter delivered their dinners, and Sophia imm
ediately took her first bite. She was afraid if she didn’t fill her mouth she’d say something horrible.
“You know, it’s hard to find people when they disappear without a word.”
“You looked for me?”
“I never stopped.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I thought you knew how I felt about you.”
David cut into his dinner, and she could see his hands shaking.
“You didn’t even tell Katie where you were.”
The guilt she’d been fighting washed over her and threatened to pull her under.
“I didn’t know you looked for me.” Her eyes welled with tears, and she struggled to push them back.
Could he simply not see what had happened to them? Yes, she’d walked away, but the reasons were obvious. Otherwise she would have fought for him. He’d lied to her. He’d filled their relationship with deceit.
“You watched us on TV. You knew where I was.” She figured she’d trapped him in a lie, but his eyes remained heated.
David wiped his mouth and set his napkin in his lap. “Only after some entertainment show did a special on the superior voice of Pablo DiAngelo. They showed pictures of you living with him in a chateau outside of Paris. He had his arm around your waist, and you were laughing.” He jabbed his fork into his pasta, and then raised his eyes to meet hers again. “I’d seen that look in your eyes once, when we were happy like that.”
“Do you think I left you for Pablo?” Now her voice had dropped to a whisper.
“Yes.”
Heat ran through her veins. She couldn’t breathe. She loosened the scarf at her neck enough to allow herself more air as she began shoving food around on her plate.
“You’re not going to deny it?”
She looked up at him. His eyes held the disappointment that carried in his voice.
“I didn’t leave to be with Pablo.”
“But you’re lovers.” The accusation was there, and it was wrenching. She’d hurt him when she left. But she’d been hurting when she left.
She couldn’t deny what he’d seen on television. She was happy with Pablo. She’d always been happy with Pablo, and once she had been convinced that Pablo loved her.
“I want you to take me home.” She dropped her napkin on the table and walked out of the restaurant.
Carissa slammed the door of her co-worker’s car. Would it have been too much for her father to pick her up from work? She should have been priority, not his old girlfriend.
The car pulled away, and she shuffled in the dim moonlight toward the porch. Dad’s car wasn’t back. If he was with Sophia, she was going to let them have it.
When he pulled into the driveway a few minutes later, Sophia fled from the car. Her dad hurried around the front of the car and caught her, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her to him.
She pushed against his chest. Tears ran down her face as she tried to run, but he held her tight against him. He’d never held on to her mom like that. Something nasty and mean burned in Carissa’s stomach.
“Dammit, we are going to talk!” her father said in an animate tone.
“I don’t have one thing to say to you.” Sophia’s voice broke.
“Then admit you left me for Pablo.”
“I didn’t.”
“Tell me you didn’t live with him, and that you aren’t lovers.”
“You are the biggest idiot I’ve ever known.” She pushed him, and he stumbled before moving right back to be face-to-face with her. “I didn’t leave that day to be with Pablo. I left because you lied to me.”
Sophia unwound the scarf from around her neck and stood in the half dark. “You think the scars from that day are only here?” Carissa watched her point to her throat. “They’re much deeper, and you knew it! You knew what I wanted more than anything in the world.”
“You wanted a family. We both did.”
“Right. I wanted a baby. I wanted my own baby, but that was something I had to give up. You understood that, and you respected that.”
“I did. I do.”
“Then why did you lie to me? Why did you keep the one thing I wanted away from me when you knew I would have loved her?”
Carissa’s stomach knotted, and she pushed herself deeper into the shadows.
Her dad shook his head. “Sophia, what are you talking about?”
“You knew I’d decided I could still have happiness even if I didn’t carry my own child. You knew I would be happy with the gift of a child, no matter whose she was.”
“Right…”
“You had a child, and you didn’t tell me about her. You were too ashamed of me to let her into my life. How could you?” She wiped at her cheeks.
Oh, God. Carissa wrapped her arms around herself. What had she done?
“I came to the hospital. The nurse told me I couldn’t see you. I wasn’t family. She kept telling me you couldn’t take your daughter from your wife’s side.”
Her father shook his head. He raised his palms toward Sophia in supplication.
“Sophie.” He moved in closer to her.
“Don’t try to fix it now.”
“I was never married to her.” He reached for her.
“I know that now. Nevertheless, you lied to me. You hid your daughter from me. You left me for her when you ran with her in your arms and rushed to her mother, right from our front door.”
Sophia’s shoulders shook. “You always told me you’d never loved anyone like you loved me, but that was a lie, wasn’t it? You loved that woman enough to have a child with her.”
Sophia started for the porch. Carissa shifted back into the shadows and cringed as the woman who might have loved her like a mother stopped and faced her father again.
“What was I supposed to do? I wasn’t even important enough to you to tell me you had a child. I would have loved her, David. I would have treated her like my own.” Every word cut into Carissa’s heart. “I loved you, and you lied to me. Pablo gave me an opportunity, and I took it. But it was after I’d left you.”
She wadded the scarf in her hands.
“I loved you, David. I loved you so much. What you did to me hurt, and you can never take that back.” She ran from him and into the house, passing Carissa without noticing her.
Her father stood still, as though he was unable to move, paralyzed by Sophia’s words. Carissa walked toward him. Her heart pounded in her chest.
“Why didn’t you tell her the truth?”
“It won’t help. She believes I lied. She thinks I kept you from her.” He touched her hair. “I love you. I want you to know I have always loved you from the moment I found out about you.”
“But Dad…”
“That’s it. I have to go in and pack. I have a flight tomorrow.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, then let go, and walked into the house.
CHAPTER FOUR
Sophia threw down her scarf and pulled off her dress. How could he have the nerve to think she had left him for another man?
For a while she was Pablo’s woman, but she was never his lover. She was too consumed with running from David, and Pablo was running from himself.
Sure, they had shared a few kisses over the years, but they were kisses brought on by joyous events, not by passion. She’d slept in his arms, sure, but they were usually on an airplane or train. Dammit, she wasn’t the only one photographed with him. There was violinist Sandra Valdez and flutist Pierre VanVolden. Pianist Thomas Samuel was always standing next to her as well. But David noticed only the information that circled around her and Pablo.
She tore off her jewelry, scrubbed off her makeup, and started the shower. She’d locked her door, hoping he wouldn’t disturb her for the rest of the evening—or for the rest of her trip, for that matter.
She was surprised he’d missed her at all. After all, once she was gone, he had a daughter and another woman to take care of. Anger washed over her, followed by confusion. She’d learned from her grandmother that David hadn’t been married to that wo
man. She must have been important to him though. She was important enough for him to have a child with.
Sophia stepped into the shower. She let the hot water wash away her anger. She ran her hands over her skin and looked down at her marred body. She’d kept in shape by running in every city, state, and country she’d been in throughout the years. If there was a gym in the hotel she was at, she’d use it, but always in clothes carefully chosen to hide all her secrets.
Scars disfigured her thighs. Another scar ran down her side from her armpit to her hip. The one that had stolen the most from her ran from side to side across her stomach.
Sophia bit back tears that were in her throat. David had been the only man to see all of her scars. He’d run his fingers over all of them and kissed them millions of times. She was flawless in his eyes—back then, anyway.
She’d always understood that her injuries had made her barren. She’d never know the joys of pregnancy. She slid her hand over her stomach and wept. What would it be like to have the child of the man you loved? What joy did it bring to feel life grow inside of you? That bond between a child and a parent, what was it like on the other side of that equation?
If not for David’s deception, she might have been blessed with him and Carissa as her family. But he’d taken even that away from her.
Four o’clock in the morning arrived quickly for David. He stood on the front porch and waited for his cab with his luggage at his feet. The sky was still dark, and the chilled air nipped at him through his uniform.
He looked up at Sophia’s window and shook his head. He’d actually thought he could charm her back into his life. Instead, he’d accused her of leaving him for another man.
She wasn’t that kind of woman, and he knew it. Nevertheless, he’d never had another explanation. Even Katie couldn’t give him a better one because she didn’t know why Sophia had left either. Now he knew the truth, and his stomach knotted when he thought of it. Why had they told her Mandy was his wife? Why had she left without asking for his side of the story?
He checked his watch. He didn’t have enough time to run up the stairs, bust through her door, and make her understand that…
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