by Anjela Day
“Do you think that God makes you pay for things that you did wrong that you don’t feel bad for.” I got quiet. Damn where did that come from? I was puzzled I parted my lips to speak, but I was still nervous to answer.
“No babe, I don't think God Punishes anyone.” I said . When he didn't reply I sighed wondering what he was thinking.
“God isn’t spiteful Don, what did you do.” I think he got happy when I asked him that. He finally felt that he could be open with me. Like the monkey was about to come off his back.
“Well you know in high school I sold drugs not because I had to, but because I wanted to fit in with the bad crowd. Learning how to cut it and package I even did it a couple times but never got hooked” I guess I was lucky, but always wondered if and when it would catch up with me. Baby I got into so many fights, even stole cars. I looked at the phone in disbelief.
“Why? Your parents are rich.” He then went on to tell me that he did things that he is not proud of but trying to be forgiven for. I could hear the change in his voice I had never heard him talk about God but he told me how he was reading the bible and asked did I remember when we got baptized as kids. That's when he brought up DJ a name I hadn’t heard in a while. His voice was shaking
“Babe” he called out , and I took a deep breath so my voice wouldn't sound shaky.
“Yes,” I answered wondering why he sounded so nervous.
“I need to tell you, but only if you promise that you will still marry me!” He sounded so serious. It was nothing that he could do that would change how I felt about him. Although right now I was shitting bricks I swallowed hard and looked at the phone.
“Of course,” I said wondering why he would bring up DJ then ask me about our wedding.
“That night I left yo house I drove around trying to clear my head. I felt so guilty for leaving you at the party babe—
You had—
Babe just listen while I can still say it!” He barked. I picked up my nigga Randy and headed back to the party. The police had already broken it up. Still pissed I was just gone smoke an EL with my Dude and chill. As I was walking into the gas station that’s when I saw that bitch nigga DJ. I was gone just get the lighter and blunt wrapper, but the bitch was feeling cocky. He stood next to me as I paid for my shit. My nigga Randy pulled me out the store and over to the car, and that bitch nigga smirked. So soon as he walked out I approached him. I didn’t know what I was gone say, hell I didn’t plan on shit going down the way it did, but that bitch nigga DJ ran. Randy took off behind him it took me a second to put it together but after it dawned on me what DJ was running for. I chased after him Randy grabbed him and they walked him to my car. We took him to the train tracks where I took my baseball bat out of his trunk and hit DJ in his right leg. DJ dropped to the ground and I lost control. I began to question him asking about the party. DJ just wouldn’t confess instead he asked me to have mercy on him. To me, that was admitting guilt and I lost it. I took the bat and hit the ground just to scare him. For some reason, I still needed to hear him say the words. Randy stomped on his hand DJ cried out in pain. I took the back and swung the bat again. Blood rushed from his mouth and I knew I had broken his ribs.
Say it, bitch, I told him through grit teeth and finally he cried out his confession. Baby, he told me detail how he beat and—
Adonis paused and I could tell it was hard for him to talk.
Baby, he told me he fucked you till the blood ran down you’re legd. He even told me that he took the blood from your legs then and wiped it on your face. I was gone to walk away when he said it but –
“Babe please I can’t hear any more I cried out”
“Baby I need you to know,” He said taking a deep breath. I tried to walk away because I knew if I went any further I would have killed him. All DJ had to do is shut up but when I turned my back to walk away. When he hawked up blood at my feet and smirked.
“I'll watch the tape of that cunt scream every night while I beat my meat you want a copy?”
I don’t even know when I pulled my burner from my pants, but somehow it ended up in my hands and before I knew it I had shot him six times one in each leg one in each hand and one in each arm and when DJ begged for his life I just laughed at him. Bitch “I’m gone to watch you die like a cunt bitch.” I told him before I shot him in his head I gave Randy my gun and walked away DJ’s body was probably in a lake or River next to Jimmy Hoffa and I didn’t regret a thing. baby is something wrong with me?” he asked me my eyes filled with tears That was something that I never wanted to know and now I would see DJ ‘s face every night for different reason’s. I didn’t get mad I just listen to everything he said and tried not to let him hear me cry.
“No baby you are only human,” I finally answered his question.
Adonis didn’t have to worry about me asking about the past anymore it was clear I couldn’t handle it. We talked about the wedding is three days away and he asked what I needed. I replied all I need is you I could feel him smile. Then I told him not to call me for two days so I could miss him more. Pick up Adonis jr and meet me at the church on Friday. We ended the convocation and I went straight to bed. I woke the next morning in a rush. My phone was ringing off the hook last minute RSVP’s my last dress fitting and last, but not least the Bridal Shower. I was looking forward to seeing an old friend’s family and mostly the dirty gifts I would get. The day went by Quick I just felt as I was being pulled a hundred different ways but I knew in In two days it would all be over. Also very worth it. My past would be behind me I would under God pledge to love one man forever take his name and finally
be happy. Live the life that I thought I would only have to dream about. I laid down for sleep and tossed and turned the whole night. Don’t think that it was cold feet but I was defiantly anxious. I stood in front of the mirror and kept looking at my ring saying I do I do I do. I laid in my bed pulled out my notepad. I thought about Adonis and everything he was to me. Once my pen hit the paper it was hard to stop.
Hey, Don, I stand in front of you today and I pray that I will get the chance to love you for the rest of my life. As kids you were my best friend as teens you were my superhero and now as adults, you are my husband my best friend my love and Superman. That I thank God for every day with you I know that I’m blessed and every day I will hold you in my heart I love you, Adonis.
Just when I step back and take a real look at my life and all the shit I’ve done I get knocked out the box. I mean I had done grimy things in my life, shit I sell drugs and kill niggas, but what this nigga was asking me to do just sounded crazy.
“You in my brother ask and I roll my eyes thinking what the fuck had I got myself into.
“This shit just doesn’t seem right my nigga.
“Bitch right! Whenever yo hoe ass want to pop a nigga I got yo back no questions ask, but when I need a nigga deaded all of a sudden you have a problem? My brother Cardo said jumping from his chair and pound his fist to his hand. I guess that was showing that he was pissed off. His girl stood to her feet and puts her hand over his chest. Her long acrylic nails press into his chest and he bites down on his lips.
“Cali I thought you were about the paper” This hoe ask me like I’m one of these small-time niggas that she has some pull over.
“Look Shorty this doesn’t have shit to do with cash. I get my doe—
“Nigga and think how much we can get if we take out a bosses son! We can take over so many blocks so many houses” my brother says still pumped up, however, this doesn’t sound like it was about money.
“Nigga you take out a boss its gone be niggas gunning for us!”
“Naw nigga I got that worked out he got a bitch and—
“and we gone set her up” his hoe cuts him off and chimes in again. I shake my head knowing that this no gets money shit this is pure revenge and I can't help but think I’m in over my head. I sit back in my seat and pull a cigarette from the pack on the table and began to puff it when my phone began to ring. I
look up at my brother and his dumb ass hoe and answer the phone.
“Baby can I come to talk to you!” Aisha whines in my ear and I end the call. I hadn’t talked to her in almost six months it was no reason to start talking to her now, what she did couldn’t be forgiven on top of that I was dealing with this heavy shit that my brother had laid on me.
“So run this shit by me one more time. I said to Cardo and his bitch.
“Yo so you in!” My brother's nigga Randy asked, and I shot him a look of fire. What he fuck was he there for.
“Nigga is you down?” I asked standing up needing something stronger than a cancer stick.
“Yeah I guess.” I told my brother walking out of the room.
“I made my way to the basement, where A-Rod stayed.
“Bro please tell me you got a blunt.” I said walking in on a bitch giving him head.
“Yo my bad bro.” I turned to walk away, and something hit my back.
I turned looking at a lighter on the ground. A-Rod had a blunt in his hand. He held it in the air for me to take never missing a beat.
“Yo nigga fire it up” He said pulling the bitch off of him.
“Why don't you go get us something to drink? He asked her, as he fixed his pants. He handed her a hundred dollar bill , and we watched as she left.
“What's good?” He asked soon as he was sure the bitch was out ear shot. I broke down what Ricardo wanted me to do
“Don't do it!” A- Rod said, before I finished.
“But-—
“But it's for Cardo so you going to do it, you think you owe him something and I dont know why. Nigga this all you. You built this shit. You don't need this beef on you. He going to get you bodied on some hoe shit, but I'm yo nigga so whatever you do I'm backing you up, you my brother. Just trust when I say this some dumb nigga shit it is.” He told me, and I sighed. I knew Rod was right. I knew that he wouldn't lie to me or lead me wrong, but Cardo was blood I had to back him __? Right?
I wanted to talk to Adonis so bad but I knew he would respect my wishes and not call so our wedding night would be special. It would be our first time making love our first time really living in the same house man I felt like every first I had with him. I knew that he was perfect for me. So why was I sitting on my bed telling myself that over and over that I was doing the right thing? I must have tossed and turned all night. My bridal shower was fun but loud we took a ton of pictures and danced as I opened the gifts and blushing at all of the cute little lace and the kinky little leather things. So many ideas and the advice just rolled off of some peoples tongues. About how to keep my man happy. How these single hoes going to teach me how to keep a man? I scuffed. I sat between my Mom and Adonis’s mom I was so proud to have them both there the whole night they took turns telling me how pretty I was and kissing me. I was so happy but I really did miss Don . I kept looking at the pay phone hanging in the hall we were. I just wanted to pick it up and call him. A hundred and one times. It was at that moment that I knew he was the one if I didn’t know I did now. I ran to the phone and called him. With every ring, my heart jumped I was so ready to tell him I love you, baby. There was no answer I got so mad but so edgy I was ready for this day to be over so I could get married now. After the party, I rushed home to check my answer Machine no call. I had forgotten about his bachelor party and then he was gone be on the red eye. I lied awake in the bed for hours just thinking about him. I finally fell asleep it was like three am and I was still tossing and turning. My heart skipped a beat as I was awoken from the loud ring of the phone. I rolled overlooked at the alarm clock and picked up the phone. Trying not to sound groggy I said hello.
“Hey baby” I smiled it was Adonis he wanted to hear my voice as bad as I wanted to hear his “Baby I’m outside I want to see you so bad can you just open the door and kiss me. I will keep my eyes close I swear.” Before he could say please I was in his arms. I started kissing him in the hallway I pulled him in the apartment and just kept kissing him ripping the buttons of his shirt jumping up and wrapping my legs around him moving my panties to the side and feeling for his zipper was harder than I thought, but not impossible. I pulled his dick out and slid it slowly inside of me. I knew it was big but when it went in me it felt like I was giving birth. He kept mouthing baby wait but I was moving way to fast. He was mine and I wasn’t gone to take every bit of him as he turned and pushed my body against the wall. It was hard not to feel every inch inside of me and every moan I let out was followed by a shocking look on my face. As he moved me from the wall to the bed we must have gone at it for hours before I knew it my phone was ringing his phone was ringing alarm were buzzing. He still didn’t want to stop biting my bottom lip and grabbing my ass as he went deeper and deeper. By the time he was done, it was eight in the morning and we were late for everything. We jumped up and got in the shower. As he washed my body I noticed how he looked at every curve and touch every spot I thought he was gone to grab me and sex me again. He got out the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom. I could hear him answer his phone. I got out of the shower and walked into the bedroom he was fighting over the phone I put my arms around his body and began to kiss his back really trying to hear both sides of the convocation. From what I could hear it was Cole and she was mad.
“Man I’m getting married today I want him there,” Don said in a loud tone. I could hear her ask him to come to see her and let her fuck him one more time than if he still wanted to marry me his son can come. He moved my arms from around him and walked away
“Cole I will see you in like 15 minutes have Adonis ready. He looked at me and held his head down kissed my forehead and grabbed his clothes walked in the living room and got dressed and was out the door. I got dressed throwing on some jeans and a T-shirt that said, bride. Adonis had brought me from New York. I met up with my home Girls Rhay and Nyla to get our hair nails and makeup was done by June. I was super ready to explode after hearing their convocation between Cole and Adonis, but I knew that this would be a part of my life. I couldn’t wait to dish to my girls as we pampered ourselves.
I had had a crush on Adonis since I was fourteen years old, I never thought that he would give me the time of day, but when he did I just knew I would be his. Then I find out that I’m carrying my ex’s seed and I almost lose it. That nigga on the come up but Adonis people got money. That nigga has been getting doe since we were kids. Add on the fact that he looks good as hell and stays fly how could I not want that nigga. Tip on the ice burger was when that nigga took out a life insurance policy for my son made me a trustee. Damn 500 Gees was a lot of cash. Then my mom looked over it and told me about the double indemnity. Of courses, she had to break it down to me, but its basically when someone dies of an unjust reason the benefited gets double. I can do a lot with 10 hundred racks. That’s almost a million dollars.
I always get the last laugh. That nigga a nut if he thought that I was gone let him be happy with that hoe. I mean why should that fat bitch have my life. And then when he told me he was taking me off the life insurance policy I almost lost my damn mind. Grabbing a Square from the box I fire up and think if I really want to go along with the plan, but I know it already in motion.
“Hey baby,” I say into my phone!
“is it a go shorty?” Randy said
Hell, yeah, I said knowing that it’s a, go.
I just needed Don to come over and fuck me one good time. I needed to be carrying his seed, just in case his people find out Adoins Jr. wasn't his. I knew that Don was to pridfull to tell his mother that I had lied so if I was knocked up they would never question how he felt about me. That bitch Aneisha end up broke and alone. He told me one time they were waiting to the wedding day so that meant I would have three up on that bitch.
“Yo Shorty where we going?” He asked me yelling in my ear bringing me back to the plan.
“He going to the diamond factory make sure you drop the condom I gave you in the back seat.”
�
��Whats the condom for again?”
“So it looked like she found out he was fucking around and had a fit and killed him.”
“Ok cool, that’s what's up. He says ending the call and I lie back on my bed puffing the last of my cancer stick knowing that I am about to bring Neisha to her knees.
My head was all over the place when I left Neisha. We had just made love for the first time. It felt as if I had never made love until that moment. Pulling up at Cole’s house I’m already pissed she’s using my son as a bargaining chip. I walk right in and she is walking around in some little nightgown and my son is sitting on the sofa with a sippy cup.
“Why the fuck you walking around him like that! I said picking him up.
“Like what?" She asked walking behind me wrapping her hands around my waist. I can feel her body pressed against me and I am so pissed.
“Move man! Why the hell you didn’t give him a damn bath? Her eyes moved swiftly. frustration and irritation were written all over her face. and walk into the bedroom looking at how messy his room is. His bed is covered in clothes and I wonder where he sleeping. Where the fuck is his tux?”
“Man his daddy—
She put her hand over her mouth and I shot that bitch a side eye.
“His who?”
“My Boyfriend!”
“I know you don’t have no other niggas around my son!” she grabs my phone off my hip and presses talk calling my last call back.
“Oh God Don yesssssssssssssss!” She yells before I snatch the fuckin phone from her. I looked at the word wife drop my head and end the call.
“Fuck wrong with you?” I say walking my son into the bathroom to give him a bath.
“Naw He not going with you Adonis!”
“The hell he not!” I said pissed she was playing games.
“Well, then you better be ready to eat my pussy. I stood up from washing the tub down and looked at her.
