by Quinn, Cari
But now he had one chance to make things right.
One chance to see them through the end of this tunnel of suck and find an alternative.
“See if you can round everyone up tonight. Ask them to stay in until I get home at least.”
“Nick and Simon haven’t even come downstairs yet. I’ll see if I can find Gray.”
“Good.” He stared at the ceiling, pushing back the useless worry. He had a game plan and a shot at fixing this clusterfuck. He needed to focus on that. “I’m back, Pix. We’ll figure it out.”
“I sure hope you have something awesome up your muscle-stretched sleeve.”
He laughed. “I think I just might.”
“Get home. Pronto.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
Her voice gentled and cracked. “Thanks for not leaving me, huh?” He could hear her swallow, then she whispered, “I couldn’t take that.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Jazz. I promise. Go take one of those epic bubble baths, and I’ll be home before you’re through.”
“I can get on board with that plan.”
“See ya soon, midget.”
Deacon moved to the dresser and plugged in his phone. He made quick work of stacking up the proof of his two-day descent into asshattery. By the time he was finished, the shame weighed as much as he did.
Disgusted, he headed into the bathroom to shower off his mood. Ten minutes later he was stuffing the last of his meager belongings into his duffel bag. He left a twenty on the bedside table to make the cleanup less growl-inducing for the maid and hit the ground running.
He stopped for a drive-thru burger to calm his hungover stomach. The trip from downtown to their penthouse ate up another half hour. By the time he pulled up to the valet, he felt marginally human. The only good thing about his solitary bender was that no one else saw him fall apart.
Will opened the door for him with a smile. “Good afternoon, Mr. McCoy.” He ducked down, his smile bright. “No, Miss Pruitt today?”
Deacon’s chest tightened. “No. No Harper today.” His voice didn’t crack. Even if his entire rib cage felt like it was going to.
“Well, tell her I said hi.”
“Right.” Deacon forced his lips into a smile and gathered his things. He was on auto-pilot to get through the lobby. A few faces he recognized got half-hearted smiles, and then there was blissful silence in the elevator. He had a band to worry about, a contract to figure out, and asses to kick. What he didn’t have time for? His love life.
He firmly shoved Harper to the back of his mind as he strode off the elevator. As soon as he walked over the threshold of the living room, a bundle of purple and teal leapt into his arms.
“Shit, Pix, let me put my stuff down.”
Jazz wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
He walked to the sectional carrying everything, including Jazz, and sat down with her on his lap. She curled into him, and he could feel tears against his neck. With a sigh, he rubbed her back. ‘I’m sorry, Pix. I didn’t think.”
“It’s okay. I know you had stuff to deal with.” She sat back on his lap, her arms still looped around his neck. “Where’d you go?”
“Long story.”
She glanced over her shoulder to the stairs. “No one is awake yet.” She turned back to him. “Did you and Harper break up?”
He scrubbed his hands over his face and dropped back against the cushions. “I don’t know, Jazz. Honestly.”
“If you don’t know, that’s not a good sign.”
“I know. I fucked up.” As soon as he said it, he knew it was true. He’d held on too hard. He heard himself saying every stupid thing he could possibly blurt out during their fight, and yet he couldn’t stop himself. All he could focus on was that she was leaving.
“I can read it all over your face.” Jazz tapped his cheek. “Beard, blood shot eyes, with circles under them, I might add. Let me see.” She caught his chin in her hand then let go and tapped him none too gently on the forehead. “You pulled a stupid card. A stupid guy card, didn’t you?” She climbed off of him.
He pushed his bag and laptop down the couch then folded his arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She rolled her eyes. “Deacon, you moron. I expect these things from Nick. Simon generally doesn’t keep a girl around long enough to actually learn their last name.”
“What about Gray?” Deacon grumbled.
“I don’t even know what Gray is doing. I never see him with a girl. Fuck, I never see him, period.”
Deacon leaned forward. “What do you mean?” Gray was definitely living up to his nickname of Ghost lately.
“Oh, no. We are not getting off topic to talk about Gray. He’s just off working at his old job again.”
“Why would he go back to transport when things are going well with the band?”
She shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe just to fill some hours. Or he misses his old crew.”
Deacon wasn’t sure she actually believed what she said. Not with her eyebrows all frowny when she was usually all smiles. He sat back, lacing his fingers behind his head. “All right, what’s really going on, Pix?”
She plopped into the middle of a cushion, sitting cross-legged. “I already told you. And I’m not going to let you throw the healthiest relationship this freakshow of a band has away on something stupid.”
“It’s not an easy fix.”
“Why?”
“Because her job takes her on the road, just like mine.” He dropped his hands onto his lap with a slap. “And I won’t see her for the next five months.”
“Nope, that’s not an easy fix.” She covered one of his hands. “But it’s not an impossible one, either.”
“It is when I shoot off my mouth and tell her my career is more important than hers.”
Disappointment lit her tired blue eyes. “Oh, you didn’t.”
Deacon squeezed her fingers back. “Oh, but I did.”
One perfectly arched dark brow rose. “You don’t actually believe that, do you?”
“No, of course not. I just…” he trailed off. I’m a moron. I’m a fuckhead. I’m an idiot. I’m a selfish bastard. “I just haven’t figured out how to make it work yet.”
“Good, because then I’d have to kick you in the junk in the name of womanhood. I wouldn’t want to, but there’s these rules…”
“Gee thanks.”
She shrugged. “Just sayin’.” She leaned forward and laughed when he covered his crotch. “Your boys are safe.” She kissed him on the cheek. “You are going to have to grovel. Probably with jewelry.”
“Harper’s not really the jewelry type.”
“True. Maybe buy her a super expensive mixer or some shit.”
He laughed and dragged her in for a tight hug. “I love you madly, Pix.”
“Yeah, I know.” She laid her cheek on his chest and fisted her hand under her chin. “One person I’ve never doubted, is you.”
Deacon smoothed his hand down her hair. A week ago, he’d have said the same thing about Simon and Nick. Now, nothing made sense. He wished he could blame everything on Snake’s reappearance, but there’d been a fissure within the band long before that. It had been covered up with the fun of their first tour and a growing fanbase.
Whether Nick and Simon had asked for the percentages to be changed in the contract or not, they were there. The fact that they didn’t view the rest of them as an equal partners in the band needed to be addressed.
Deacon looked up at the scrape of metal over the railing. Simon’s mishmash of silver bracelets jangled as he came down the stairs. “If it isn’t the prodigal son.”
Jazz sat up. “Get some coffee, Simon. Your asshole is showing.”
“Morning to you too,” he said with a wry smirk. Simon shuffled into the kitchen, plucking a pod out of the racks beside the coffee maker and setting a cup to brew. He leaned on the counter and pushed his sunglasses up his nose to shield his eyes. �
��Are you done pouting, Deak? Heart all bwoken?”
Jazz stalked into the kitchen and socked Simon in the arm. “Did we rub it in when violin girl stomped on your ego?”
Simon’s smirk slid away, his face going stony.
“That’s better,” she said sweetly.
“Violin girl was a one-time thing. She wasn’t even that memorable.”
Jazz peered up at him. “So, you haven’t given Madeline a thought?”
“Margo,” Simon corrected.
“Right.” Jazz patted his cheek. “Not a passing thought.”
Simon angled his face away from her touch. He turned and put two pieces of toast into the toaster.
Deacon stood and joined them in the kitchen. "Is Nick moving?"
He paused with the mug at his lips. “Do I look like his mother? Isn't that your job, St. Deacon?"
Deacon folded his arms. "What the hell is your problem?"
Simon put his mug down and grabbed the toast as it popped. "Oh, I don't know. Our bassist falls off the grid for nearly a week. What could be the problem? October first is literally days away." Simon slammed down his butter knife. "Are you so fired up to fuck up this deal?"
“I don’t know, Simon. What made you think you could fuck us over with that contract deal?”
Simon’s jaw snapped shut as he tossed his sunglasses to the table. “Christ, we were protecting—”
Deacon sliced his hand through the air. “No, you were covering your asses. Did you really think we wouldn’t figure it out?”
Simon’s eyes blazed, but he remained silent.
“Did you just think we were going to roll over and say…yeah, that’s fine? That it’s okay that my two best friends don’t give two shits about me, or Jazz, or Gray?”
“We were doing what was best for the band.” Simon tipped up his chin to meet his gaze.
Deacon stepped closer. “What you thought was right for the band. Or…wait, you weren’t thinking.” The words kept tumbling out. Everything he’d been stewing about for the last few days. He’d tried to quiet it with reason and even alcohol, but now the anger was out of the box. “Or maybe you were. Thinking about the fact that you and Nicky would have controlling interest in our band?”
“That is not what it was about.”
“Oh, really? Would you feel the same way if you were me?”
“You didn’t start the band,” Simon snarled.
“You were barely a band when I joined. You, Snake, and Nick were just banging out songs in the Fluff & Fold. You barely got enough money on the pier to cover a six pack of beer each night.”
Simon’s fingers fisted at his sides. “Me and Nick wrote those songs. At the very least, the copyright on the lyrics were ours.”
Deacon took a step back before plowing ahead. “So the compositions that I worked on for weeks—hell, for fucking years—don’t count for anything?”
“I’m not saying that.”
“What about all the work Gray and I put into the studio?” Jazz broke in, her voice brittle. “And the new songs we worked on? This new album will be all of us. Not just the older songs.”
Simon tipped his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Don’t you get it? That contract was the best way to make sure the band stayed true to its roots. Why can’t you understand that? We would never fuck you over.”
“The math sure as shit doesn’t say that to me.” Deacon’s chest heaved as he tried to tamp down the need to start swinging. "I'm trying to find us an alternative. That's what I’ve been doing. Though I hear you and Nicky are busy partying all over Los Angeles as if the deal's already done."
Simon waved his piece of toast. "It is a done deal, you just haven't accepted it yet.” When Deacon barreled forward, Simon held up his hand. "It's just for the one—"
"So help me God, Simon, if you tell me one more time that it's just the one album, I'm going to smash all of your teeth into the back of your head. It’s more than just the contract that’s wrong."
Simon didn’t say a word, just bit through his toast insolently and chewed.
God, Simon could be so infuriating. Nick would argue him into the ground, but Simon could wait him out with a bored look. The only one that incited Simon to violence was Nick. Then again, Nick pretty much had that effect on most people.
Deacon tried to down the anger. It wasn’t helping this situation. “I have an option. And a proposition.”
"And here I thought you were just playing house with Chef Girl. Oh, wait...you fucked up that relationship, too."
"Honestly, do not test me, Simon."
“What are you going to do?” Simon calmly put his food down. “Pound my face in?” He came around the granite island to the living room until they were nearly chest to chest. Simon tipped his chin up, his icy blue eyes blazing like the center of a flame. “Will that make you feel better?”
Deacon looked down at him. And for a moment he wanted to do just that. To keep driving his fist into Simon’s pretty boy face until it was broken and bleeding. Then maybe the ugly anger inside of him would recede. But he knew it wouldn’t. It would only surge higher.
And then he saw a flicker of something else in Simon’s cocky gaze. Guilt.
Deacon’s shoulders heaved with the seething anger banked inside of his chest and his fists slowly unclenched. Simon wanted him to punch his freaking lights out.
Jazz pushed between them. "Okay. Back off, both of you."
Deacon didn’t fight her. The only hope they had was starting fresh. Guilt and hurt piled up into baggage that would ruin every aspect of what made them click so uniquely.
God, they were all so fucking prideful, it was a wonder they got any music written. And Trident had played them effortlessly. The shitty thing was that they’d let them. The band was so fucked up and fractured that all it had taken were a few clever words to make them turn on each other. And in the end, the contract would be the only thing that mattered.
For now.
What no one wanted to think about was just how it would destroy them. All the shitty aspects of Trident’s contract would fester until the band was used up. And Trident wouldn’t give a good goddamn. They’d find another hungry band and do the same thing all over again.
The ding of the elevator and Gray’s murmured, “hey,” broke the last of the tension living in Deacon.
Gray looked between Simon and Deacon, and sighed. “Are we still fighting? Because if we are, can we stow it? I’m fucking beat.”
“Where have you been?” Jazz asked.
“Out.”
“That’s not good enough.” Jazz moved in front of Gray. “You’ve been gone more than you’re home.”
“This isn’t home. This is just a place to sleep.”
“You don’t sleep,” Jazz snapped.
“That’s why I’m not here. The noise in my head just gets louder here. I don’t even know why I bother. We’re just going to implode anyway. Another statistic.”
Deacon’s eyebrow rose. That might have been the most he’d ever heard Gray speak at one time. With a frown, he saw Gray’s eyes shift all around the room, then land on Jazz and quickly bounce away.
Jazz’s mouth dropped open and her wide blue eyes sparkled with a sheen of tears.
Well, shit. Deacon slid a hand down her hair and hugged her into his side. Lashing out at Jazz was about as classy as kicking a puppy.
Nick came bounding down the stairs, his hair wet and slicked back from his face. He went from a smile to blank-face in the space of a heartbeat. “So, we don’t need to replace the bassist after all.”
Deacon’s shoulders ached with tension, but he wouldn’t rise to the bait. This was more than just hurt feelings now. This was survival plain and simple. “I’m not here for another verbal sparring session, Nick.”
“Then what are you here for?”
Jazz moved in front of Deacon and folded her arms. “Deacon’s found an alternative for us.”
“Why would we want that?” Nick folded his own
arms as he leaned on one of the breakfast stools.
Deacon put a hand on a spring loaded Jazz. She was ready to fly across the room. “You said we didn’t have options. I found one.”
“It can’t hurt to hear him out.”
Deacon shot a surprised look over his shoulder.
Simon shrugged and looked away. “No one said we’d change our minds. You did all the work; the least we can do is hear you out.”
Had something he said actually gotten through? Deacon sighed. It was probably the guilt talking. Either way, he’d take it. Deacon moved around his little guard dog and went straight to Nick. “I got us a meeting with Donovan Lewis.”
“Who the fuck is he?” Derision laced Nick’s voice.
“Remember the hot blonde in the power suit that came backstage?”
Nick’s pupils flared. “Hot blondes are always crawling around backstage.”
Deacon knew he remembered. Not only had Lila Shawcross interrupted Nick in the middle of his pre-show blow job, she’d also left one helluva impression. Deacon had been on the receiving end of her particular brand of ball busting over the phone. Nick had seen it up close and personal.
“I was doing my research about other labels when I came across Ripper Records.” Okay, so that was a little white lie, but he wasn’t sure the rest of the band would be receptive to his meeting with Johnny Cage. He cleared his throat. “Lila Shawcross, aka the blonde suit, seems to be a big wig there. She does everything from talent screening to management.”
“And you picked Ripper Records, why?” Nick asked. “I’ve never even heard of them. What the hell are they going to do for us that Trident wouldn’t?”
“They’re a smaller label, I’ll give you that. But they’re a well-funded one. Donovan Lewis is a big deal in the business world. He’s a money guy that takes chances with businesses, and from what I can see, in musical talent.”
Nick pinched the bridge of his nose. “God, you’re grasping at straws, Deak.”
“Ripper Records came looking for Rebel Rage. From what I’ve found out, Johnny Cage is signing a deal with them.”
“Cage is a has-been. Trident dumped them because they weren’t performing. They want us because we’re winners.”
