He’s obviously comfortable in his own skin. He pulls his shirt off like most men, crossing his arms in front and grabbing the hem to lift it over his head. I watch as his body is slowly revealed. It’s like having my own Chippendale model right here. I see his happy trail emerge as the shirt slowly glides up his torso. Strong abs and a broad chest come into view. He tosses his shirt onto the dresser and reaches for the belt of his jeans. He pulls it free from his pants and rolls it up to sit next to his shirt. He unbuttons his jeans and pulls down the zipper. My breath catches as he steps out of his pants. His boxer briefs hug tightly to his thighs and show every muscle he has. He turns around and walks into the bathroom, and I am gifted with a fantastic rear-end view.
He climbs into bed beside me, smelling of peppermint toothpaste. I snuggle up in the safety of his arms, knowing there is nowhere I would rather be. He pulls me close to his chest. The feeling of peace and safety pervades any other thought, and I quickly fall asleep.
Chapter Eleven
I’m so hot, the sweat pours from my brow. So much pain—so much blood. Oh, my God, no! No!
“Alexa! Wake up. Sweetie, you’re okay. Wake up!”
My heart feels like it is pounding out of my chest. I feel hands on my shoulders, shaking me gently. I swallow the panic as I realize it’s a dream. I look around the room and realize it’s early morning. Zane looks at me with concern in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. You must think I’m insane.” I reach up and hold on to Zane as if my life depended on it. “Hold me, please.”
He lies down with me, wrapping me in his strong arms. “Shhh, I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re working through things. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I don’t,” I say softly.
The last thing I want to do is relive the nightmare. What I want most is to forget it ever happened. I pull myself tightly against him, knowing in my heart the warmth of his body will soothe my aching soul. His strong arms embrace me. He holds me like one would hold a beloved child. One arm presses against my back, while the other cradles my head against his chest.
His hand gently strokes my back. The strumming motion is like an elixir to my raw nerves. I relax completely under his loving ministrations. Wrapping his fingers through my hair, he gently pulls my head back, giving him access to my lips.
His lips brush mine with uncertainty. I can feel his hesitation as his mouth barely glides across mine. I lean into the kiss, only to have him retreat. I tug my head forward, breaking his hold on my hair. I need his lips on mine.
Unrestrained, I crush my mouth into his. I feel like this kiss is just as important as my next breath. Without it, I may wither to nothing. I want to feel something other than pain and sorrow. I need to feel love.
“I need you to love me, Zane,” I say into his mouth as I push the kiss deeper.
Whatever reticence he was feeling disappears as his mouth covers mine in a heated kiss. He groans as he shifts his body, throwing one leg across my thigh. One of his hands lies beneath me, splayed across my back. The other hand begins to roam my body freely.
His hand slips beneath my shirt, sending shivers down the length of my spine. I arch my back as his palm floats across the heated surface of my chest. I can feel my breasts harden and reach for his touch as he passes.
I hear another groan, but this one comes from deep inside me. The sound is breathy and throaty at the same time. I turn to my side and push my hips forward. I feel his arousal pushing against my thigh and shamelessly grind against him. If I could, I would crawl inside of him.
“I want you, Alexa. I want to make love to you, but I don’t want it to be therapy for you. I want it to be something that’s more than a quick fix.”
I look into his stormy eyes and see how the world should be. When a man looks at you in a pure and unfiltered way, it changes you.
“You stir things in me that make me want so much more than a quick fix. I want you. Everything about you calls to me in a profound and special way.” I pepper his face with kisses. “I can’t say making love to you won’t be healing for me. I can guarantee you that treatment is not why I would do it. I want to feel you move inside of me. I want to connect to you in a deeper, more meaningful way.”
He gently pulls me away from his body and lays me down beside him. His hands caress me from top to bottom. The care with which he touches me is moving. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so desired.
“I want you to realize that if we do this, everything changes. I don’t want you to sleep in the motel across the street. I want you sleeping with me.” He presses his lips against mine in a completely possessive manner. He breaks the kiss to deliver a warning. “I don’t know if you’re ready to be with me. I have a child, and my life is messy at best.”
It takes me just a second to ponder my choices. I can get up and walk away, but that would mean no Zane or Aaron. I could stay and make love to this man, but that means I have to expose myself to him completely.
Without a second thought, I tell him, “I’m ready, Zane. Life is messy. I know that for a fact. I’m not looking for neat and tidy. I’m looking for something real.”
“Real, I can give you. Right now, the most real thing I can offer is passion and desire.”
He pushes himself next to me. There is no doubt he is feeling desire.
His hand runs up my stomach and lingers at my breasts. He draws soft swirls over and across the tender flesh. The sensation forces the breath from my lungs. I’m not a stranger to desire; only fulfillment.
“Before we start this, what’s our timeline like? Where is the baby?” I can barely get the words out.
“I just put him back down. He’ll be out for hours. What do you have in mind?” His brows rise in question.
“What are you offering?” I want to try everything with him. Anything he offers will outshine anything I’ve had.
“I’m offering it all. Let’s go from A to Z. If that’s not enough, we’ll make shit up.”
He peels off his briefs and focuses all his attention on me. He slowly peels my shirt up, kissing the newly exposed flesh as he works the soft cotton inch by inch up my body. The hitch in his breath excites me as my shirt is pulled over my head. I look into his eyes and see unbridled desire. I’ve never been so aroused.
Every kiss he delivers is calculated and precise. The heat of his tongue burns straight to my core. His fingers dance across my body in a rhythm he created for me alone. I’ve never had anyone worship my body before, but that’s exactly what this feels like. He spends an inconceivable amount of time getting acquainted with every inch of me. I had no idea lips could be so erotic when placed in the right place with the right pressure.
I try to reciprocate, but he lays me back and tells me today is all about me. My mind goes blank as my body takes over.
He shifts his body, licking a trail from my ankle to my knee. Foreign sounds escape my lips. It’s not until he settles between my legs that I realize he has no intention of hurrying his exploration.
My hips rise off the bed as soon as his lips meet my most sensitive area. The intensity and heat his tongue delivers leaves me breathless and desperate for release. He crawls up my body, settling himself between my legs. I’m quivering from the inside out. It’s not going to take much to push me over the edge.
He covers himself with a condom that has appeared out of nowhere. With a gentle push, he enters me, and for the first time in years I feel complete. I exhale and let him fill me with hope, love and him.
His steady rhythm takes my body to a place I’ve only dreamed about. I feel the tension begin at the base of my spine. My head feels woozy and wonderful. I inhale and hold my breath until dizziness threatens to consume me. I release the breath I’ve been holding and let my body surge over the edge. Spasms wrack me as I clench tightly around him. I know the exact moment he finds his pleasure. He swells within me just before I feel his pulsing release. His eyes lock with mine, and I see my future in his passionate gaze.
The moment will be forever etched in my mind. My body hums with satisfaction. We lay sated in each other’s arms. His breathing slows from erratic gasps to a steady, even flow. The prickly hair of his chest rubs against mine with each breath, sending a reminder of how close our bodies remain.
“Was it enough, Alexa, or enough for now?”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever get enough of you.” I bury my face into the crook of his neck. We lie together, covered only in our sweat.
“You realize this changes everything, right? You have to get your stuff and bring it over here.”
“Are you asking me, or telling me?” I feel him stiffen a bit. I’m not sure he’s used to anyone questioning him.
“Which approach will get me what I want?” His fingers glide up and down my arm. He has such a light touch for a big man.
“I’ve spent most of my life getting bossed around by people. I’d like to be asked for once.”
He raises his body and balances his weight on his elbow. My head slides to the pillow beside him. His free hand brushes my cheek sweetly. He doesn’t speak at first. It’s like he’s measuring his words carefully.
“Alexa, you are a surprise. I didn’t expect to find you on the side of the road. I’ve learned lately sometimes it’s the surprises that mean the most. Look at Aaron. One day I was a single bar owner, and the next day I’m a father. He’s one of the best things to have happened to me.” He looks past me, as if recalling a distant memory. “Something tells me you’re the next best thing in my life. I know it seems quick, and I know your life has been difficult. I’m asking you to move in with me and give us a chance.”
I look at him and know without a doubt he understands who I am. He gets me, he sees me. His actions never reduce me, but always empower and uplift me. The choice is mine, and I choose him.
“I’m totally in love with the fact that you asked. Yes, I’ll move in. I want to contribute by paying rent or helping with Aaron.”
His lips crush into mine. His body lays half off and half on me.
“I’m happy to have you contribute by helping with Aaron, but there is no rent. I own the bar and the house. What I want from you is your friendship, and eventually your love.”
Wow, he’s laying it all on the line right here. It’s hard to say no to him. I already know I could fall in love with him if I let myself. Maybe it’s time I let myself.
“You can have everything I have to give.” I’m a bit damaged from my ex, but it’s time to move forward. I need to learn to trust again and not hold every man responsible for the sins of one.
“Right now all I want is your sexy body connected with mine. Are you game, or are we done for the day?”
“It’s such a chore to have you pleasure me endlessly, but I’m willing to make the sacrifice.” I try to say it with a straight face, but I end up in a fit of giggles.
He stops my laugh with a passionate kiss. For the next twenty minutes, we dance between the sheets. I try to give more than I take this time, but taking what Zane has to offer is easy.
He looks at the clock as I look at the ceiling.
“We have just enough time to shower before the little guy begins to stir.” He rolls out of bed and walks to the bathroom. This is the first time I’ve seen him fully nude. His butt is a solid mass of muscle. Each cheek flexes with every step. “Are you joining me?”
“Nope, I’m going to make coffee and start breakfast. I’m afraid if I get in the shower with you, I’ll get distracted and we’ll just get dirty again.”
“I can’t argue with you there. With you around, I’m pretty positive I’m going to be distracted frequently.” He walks into the bathroom; I hear the shower start, and his voice calls out above it. “Coffee is in the cabinet to the right side of the sink.”
I slide out of bed and search for my T-shirt. I have no idea where it went once it was stripped off me. I take his discarded shirt from the dresser and slide it over my head. It smells like him.
I peek in on Aaron before I work my way to the kitchen. I watch his lips pucker while he sleeps. His legs are tucked underneath him with his little behind pushed in the air. I leave him to his slumber while I go care for his daddy.
The coffee is just where he said it was. Once I get it brewing, I check the refrigerator for breakfast items. It looks like cheese omelets and toast. Shopping is a must-do chore after I move my things over. He’s missing the staples this girl needs.
“Wow, I didn’t expect you to cook for me, but I have to say, it smells great.”
He takes two cups out of the cupboard and pours us coffee. He stands behind me and spreads kisses down the side of my neck. I could get used to this.
Just as I plate up our breakfast, I hear the wail of a hungry baby. Zane begins to rise from his seat to get his boy.
“Can I get him? I’ve been dying to hold him. I’ll grab him and change him, and you can get his bottle ready.”
“Knock yourself out. I’ll cover your omelet so it doesn’t get cold.”
“Thanks.” I plant a quick kiss on his lips and go rescue a very unhappy camper.
“Hey, little man. What’s wrong? Are you wet? Let’s get you changed.” I pick up the baby and walk him to the changing table. “Guess what? I get to see you more often. Your dad and I are trying to get to know each other better. I hope that’s okay?” I unzip his pajamas and remove his wet diaper. Not wanting to be drenched by his perfect aim, I lay a receiving blanket across his waist. “I fell for you the minute I saw you. Your dad took an extra day to wind himself around my heart. I was doomed the minute I met you both.” I promptly slide the diaper under his tiny bottom and fasten the Velcro tabs. “Listen, little man, your daddy is an amazing person, and I will be so happy if you grow up to be just like him.” I finish my one-sided conversation while dressing him, then pull him to my chest for a hug and kiss.
We emerge from the hallway and find Zane sitting at the table, beaming.
“What are you smiling at?” I cradle the baby in my arms and begin to feed him his morning bottle.
“The baby monitor was on. I’m glad you like us both and want him to grow up just like me. That might be the biggest compliment ever paid to a man.”
I look around the kitchen and see the monitor as plain as day sitting on the counter. I’m so embarrassed my private moment with Aaron was broadcast for Zane to hear.
“I’m so embarrassed. We were bonding, and you heard it all.”
“It was lovely to hear.” He uncovers my plate and takes the baby from me so I can eat.
“You shouldn’t be eavesdropping. Aaron and I were having a secret conversation about you. Well, I was talking, and he was listening.” I put a forkful of egg and cheese into my mouth so I can’t say more.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, I’m totally happy I’ve wound my way into your heart. I wanted to be there before I wound my way into your pants. Things are working out perfectly.” He smiles at me.
“Yes, I’m thinking you two are in cahoots with one another to win my heart.”
“What do I have to do to get what I want?”
I laugh uncontrollably. The sound pours from me and ends in a snort. I snorted? When was the last time I laughed so hard, I snorted?
“Getting me to live here took an invitation. If you want me to love you, you will have to earn it.”
“I have to warn you, I’m an overachiever. Let’s go to your room and get your stuff. You. Me. Aaron. Starts today. I can’t wait to make you a part of my life.”
His statement stirs me in ways I never thought possible. He’s a man who doesn’t mince words. He wants me in his life. Feeling giddy, I nearly dance all the way to the shower.
The sound of the TV greets me when I walk into the living room. Ashley is sitting on the floor next to Aaron. She looks up at me and smiles.
“Mr. Abbamonte said he would meet you in your room. He says you are moving in.”
“Yes, I am.” She seems to be eyeing me up and down. Is she sizing m
e up as competition for Aaron or Zane? “Do you need anything before I leave?”
She looks at me as if I’m crazy. She was here long before me, and I’m sure she probably feels like I’m intruding on her space.
She smiles at me sweetly before responding. “No, I think I’ve got it. Thanks.”
I lean down and give the baby a kiss before heading outside and across the street.
I find Zane leaving the front office of Shady Lane. He stops as soon as he sees me.
“You are paid up and ready to go.”
“You paid my bill? I can pay my own bill, Zane.”
“Are we going to have our first fight?” He tilts his head.
“No, I don’t want to fight with you, but I can pay my own way.” I put my arm through his and pull him toward my room. “You may be excited about me moving in, but I think your babysitter isn’t too happy.”
“She works for us now, and she’ll have to learn to get happy about it or find a new job.”
I look at him in amazement. “You’re diving in with both feet, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I don’t believe in doing anything halfway. If we’re going to be together, then we’re together.”
I twist the key in the door and enter. He pushes me toward the bed as he kicks the door shut behind us.
“Control yourself,” I tease. He has me halfway undressed before I can catch my next breath.
“I can’t when it comes to you. You unleashed something this morning I fear is untamable. I’ve had a lot of sex in my life, but what we had today was epic.”
Epic? He’s trying to make me move in with him and love him all in one day.
“When it comes to hotel sex, I didn’t envision our first away experience to be at Shady Lane,” I say as his body presses me into the mattress.
“I’ll make it up to you. We can go anywhere you want. Where do you want to go, Alexa?”
“I’ll have to get back to you on that. Right now, I have a hot man who wants to make love to me in a motel.”
We spend way too much time in bed. He finally pulls away from me at 11:15 a.m. He’s late for work. I’m pretty sure that, as the owner, he’s not getting into trouble unless one of his patrons is waiting on him.
True North Page 11
