by Destiny Ford
Devilishly Short #1 (A Kate Saxee Mystery Series Novelette)
Copyright © 2014 by Angela Corbett
Smashwords Edition
Cover design by Ink and Circuit Designs, LLC
Internal design by Morgan Media
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Published in the United States of America by Midnight Sands Publishing, Utah
I admit, I don’t cook. At least, not well. It’s one of the things my mom views as an absolute parenting failure. I’ve told her I just didn’t get her domestic genes. But I love the smell of fresh bread…so much that I’d break into the house of someone making it just to have a sniff. However, since getting arrested for breaking-and-sniffing isn’t on the top of my bucket list, I bought a bread maker.
The instructions seemed pretty straight forward: put ingredients in and let the machine do the work—but I was on my tenth loaf of bread, and had destroyed every one. All of my bread loaves had the tops caved in like a yeasty crater. Nothing I did fixed it…not even consulting the internet—and if the internet couldn’t fix my problem, that meant I’d royally screwed things over. So, I’d decided to try putting the loaf in the actual oven instead of the bread maker. Extracting the dough from the bread maker had been a challenge worthy of an Olympic event, however, and my hands were covered in oil and dough when my phone started buzzing.
I glanced over and saw the text was from my boss, Spence Jacobs, publisher of the Branson Falls Tribune. I’m the editor, and I was currently on call to cover any stories or emergencies. I should have known that as soon as my hands were wrist deep in something messy, I’d need to take care of another problem. That was actually a pretty good metaphor for my whole life.
I dropped the dough in the bread pan and spent at least five minutes trying to get the sticky concoction out from under my nails while I washed my hands. The dough won the battle. Next time, I’d wear gloves. I finally gave up so I could read Spence’s text.
Incident at Simmons Fort. EMTs on the scene.
I sighed and looked longingly at my bread. There was no way I’d be back in time to bake it. I had no idea if it would still be good when I got back—I’d have to consult the internet later—but I put it in the fridge before grabbing my camera, purse, phone, and keys.
Simmons Fort, an old stop for pioneer settlers moving to the western U.S., had been restored and was a fun, quick trip off the freeway for tourists. It was also close to town, and Branson Falls residents often visited the fort for picnics, and to hike the trails above the fort. Or, if you were a Branson Falls teenager, chances were you spent a lot of time there making out—among other things.
I pulled up and saw my favorite paramedic, Annie, standing by the ambulance. That’s right, I have a favorite paramedic because of how often my mom’s antics require one.
“Hey, Annie!”
She returned my smile as I approached. “Hey, Kate! I wondered if you were on call for the Tribune today.”
“Always,” I said, taking in the scene. People were gathered in small groups, talking to each other. Most looked like they’d decided to come after hearing about the event on their personal police scanners. Like most small towns, everyone in Branson liked knowing everyone else’s business. My eyes paused on a police officer talking to one of the fort employees. I made a note to talk to them both next. I turned back to Annie, glancing into the back of the ambulance. A man was lying on the stretcher inside. “What happened?” I asked, watching as another paramedic closed the back doors.
Annie sighed and shook her head. “Rattlesnake bite.”
My eyes widened. “Seriously?” Rattlesnakes were pretty common in Utah. Most people knew to keep an eye out for them, especially during the early morning and evening hours when they came out to get sun. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon, so I was surprised by the encounter. The snakes weren’t difficult to avoid as long as you made a lot of noise on the hiking trails. Tourists might not know that, however, and the fort got a lot of tourists.
“Yeah. Luckily, the fort had a snake bite kit on hand, so they were able to treat him right away.” The ambulance lights came on and the vehicle shifted into gear. I watched as it drove away from the fort. “They’re taking him to the hospital for anti-venom.”
“Don’t you need to go with them?”
“No, I wasn’t working. I was here hiking and happened to come on the scene.”
“He’s lucky you did!”
“Well,” her lips lifted, “I’m glad, too. Otherwise, we’d have at least two dead people.”
I pushed my brows together. “Two?”
“I wouldn’t have died,” a familiar voice said. I turned and saw Ella, volunteer archivist at the Branson Tribune, marching up to me. “I would’ve sucked that venom right out and saved Klaus. It’s not his fault he didn’t know how to handle a silly little snake.”
My eyes widened. “You tried to suck the venom out of a snake bite? When did you learn to do that? The 1920s?”
“Don’t you get smart with me,” Ella said, shaking her finger. “Your mom thought it was a good idea, too.”
I blinked, stunned. I hadn’t been given any warning that Ella or my mom were involved in this situation. I mean, it was a crazy situation, so I probably should have expected it, but still. The first responders were usually better about keeping me informed of my mom’s involvement in another adventure via the police scanners. “My mom was with you?”
“Yes, I was,” she said, brushing flyaway hairs from her auburn ponytail out of her face as she came to a stop next to Ella. “We were out here taking a little hike in the nice weather when we met Klaus.”
“Klaus?”
She gave me an exasperated look. “The guy who got bit by the snake!”
“So you met Klaus after he was bitten?” I asked.
“No. Before.”
“So, Klaus got attacked by an angry snake, and you and Ella were both fine? Was he trying to defend you or something?”
My mom’s eyes went to the ground in an expression I’d come to know as guilt. I looked at Ella and her eyes were making contact with everything but me. Something was up. “What’s going on? Did you two have something to do with Klaus needing anti-venom?”
“No!” My mom answered too quickly.
“Well…not completely,” Ella continued. “See, Klaus was visitin’ and needed a tour guide.”
I widened my eyes as my gaze shifted between Ella and my mom. “And for some strange reason, he chose you two instead of fort employee?”
“Hey, now,” Ella said, narrowing her eyes. “I know a lot about these parts! My husband and I used to camp up here all the time. It was the perfect place to find a rattlesnake.”
“What in the world were you doing looking for a rattlesnake?”
“Klaus was visitin’ from Germany. He wanted to go on a wild west adventure and meet a rattlesnake. We told him we’d help.”
My mouth fell open as I stared at them both, completely without words for at least thirty seconds. When I finally found my voice, I yelled, “Are you kidding me?” Rattlesnake hunting wasn’t even a good idea for someone experienced with reptiles. For my mom and
Ella, who were both accident prone to begin with, it was a Darwin Award waiting to happen. “You two have never hunted anything but snipes! What made you think it was smart to go chasing after poisonous snakes?”
Ella put her hands on her hips. “Well, it was sure as heck better than lettin’ him chase after them on his own!”
I looked to my mom. “Does Dad know about you’re little death-by-rattlesnake mission?”
Her face puffed up as she huffed, “No. He does not. And he won’t know about it. Is that clear?”
I gave her a disapproving stare. “Do you honestly think no one has told him by now? Have you checked your phone, because I bet you have a lot of voicemails and text messages. Plus, even if someone hasn’t told him yet, he’ll read about it in the Tribune.”
“No!” she said, throwing her arms in the air, her voice rising. “This isn’t something that needs to be reported. You can just keep this little story between us.”
My eyebrows felt like they were hovering somewhere around my hairline as I gestured around the scene. “Between us, the EMTs, Ella, the fort employees, all of the hikers, tourists, and the rest of Branson—because I’m sure they know about your adventure with Klaus by now. It was reported on the scanner, Mom. You’re not going to keep this a secret.”
She scowled as she folded her arms across her chest. I could see the wheels turning while she tried to figure out a reasonable explanation to tell my dad. She’d probably just succeed in raising his blood pressure several points.
“Anyway,” Ella continued, “Klaus was visitin’ from Germany, and he really wanted to see a rattlesnake. We figured a baby rattler would be safer than a big one, so we started our search.” She paused like she was thinking back to the event that had taken place less than thirty minutes ago. “It took a while, but we finally found a baby under a rock and I chased it out of the bushes onto the trail.”
I gaped at Ella. “You chased a baby rattlesnake out of its sleeping spot just so a German tourist could see it? Klaus is lucky he was the only one bitten. You all deserved it!”
Ella narrowed her eyes, offended. “It was just to let him see it. He wanted to get a video to show his friends and family.”
I inhaled a fractured breath. “Good grief.”
“The snake didn’t seem the least bit upset,” my mom said in defense of her snake-agitator-accomplice status.
“Because you’re an expert on snake psychology now?” I asked.
She ignored me. “We would have been fine except that the baby snake wasn’t alone. It had a bigger family member who wasn’t too happy about us being there. That’s the one that bit Klaus.”
I knew snakes typically avoided humans, so I knew I still wasn’t getting the full story. “And why did the baby snake’s big brother attack?”
Ella and my mom both went silent. My mom was back to staring at the ground. Ella put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. “Well…” Ella said, “we warned Klaus not to poke it.”
My mouth dropped again. “He poked the big brother snake?”
She shrugged. “The snakes weren’t doing anythin’ and Klaus had a walkin’ stick. He wanted to get them movin’, so he pushed the big snake a little.” She wrinkled her nose. “The snake didn’t like that. He started rattlin’. That made Klaus so excited he dropped his phone. When Klaus bent down to pick it up, the wily little snake took advantage. Got him right on the arm before both snakes slithered off into the bushes.”
“That’s when I found them,” Annie said. “I called 9-1-1, and sent your mom to the fort to see if they had a snake bite kit.”
“Whose idea was it to try to suck the venom out?”
“Mine,” Ella said, her tone proud. “I would’ve saved Klaus’s life if there hadn’t been a snake bit kit.”
“And paramedics,” I said.
“I ran down to the office and got the kit from Georgia Jeffries,” my mom chimed in. She waved Georgia over to us, and put her arm around her. “Georgia was so nice and speedy! She even came with me and used the kit on him. She said it’s not the first time she’s had to use a snake bite kit.”
“I bet it’s the first time she’s had to use one because a tourist and a couple of locals antagonized the snakes.”
Georgia laughed. “It happens occasionally because some tourists who aren’t used to snakes run into them on the trails. We haven’t lost anyone yet, though, so I feel good about our track record.”
I noticed Ella, who looked like a kid about to burst with a secret. She was absolutely pinging. “But that’s not the most excitin’ thing!” Ella exclaimed, her eyes bright with enthusiasm.
I stared at her in shock. “You almost got some guy killed. Did you do something even worse than that?”
“No!” she said, hardly able to contain herself. “We saw a UFO!”
I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to process the statement. “You saw a UFO? In Branson Falls?”
“Yes! Clear as day. It was before we ran into Klaus. We—“ Ella gestured between herself and my mom, “—saw it hovering right over there.” She pointed to a hilly area, surrounded by trees. “It rose up over that hill, and then went down behind the trees. We both saw it and couldn’t believe it. Then it happened again. It went back up, hovered for a few minutes, and went down again. Like it was scannin’ us! It was shiny and so bright!”
My eyes shifted slowly back and forth between them, and I briefly wondered if maybe they had both been bitten, too. They certainly seemed delusional. I’d have to go home and tell my dad that my mom had finally lost it. I hoped he had a file of some sort with mental breakdown treatment facilities, because my mom and Ella were both going to need an extended stay. I held up my hand to get Ella to stop talking. “Don’t UFOs just come at night when people aren’t awake enough to fight the probing?”
Ella shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe they come durin’ the day and just stun people? But we’re goin’ to find out!”
I slid a glance around our little group of Ella, my mom, Annie, and Georgia, the fort employee. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“It’s a great idea!” Ella huffed. “There’s probably aliens out in these woods! We need to find out what they want! Your job is to investigate things and report them. This could be the biggest story in Branson. Ever!”
“You agreed to this?” I asked my mom. She didn’t like camping, or staying outside for extended periods of time, so I was surprised she agreed to this stake-out.
My mom put her hands on her hips and gave me a solid glare. “Something is floating out in these mountains, Kate. And someone needs to figure out what it is.” Once she put her mind to something, stopping her was impossible. I often wished she’d put her mind to less dangerous things.
I blew out a long breath in concession. “Fine. When is your reconnaissance supposed to start?”
Ella waved her arms around. “We’re already doin’ it! We’ve been watchin’ for the flying saucer since we saw it the first time!” She paused, taking in the sky and the late afternoon sun, slowly falling behind the western mountains. Her lips pursed in a thoughtful expression. “But we could use some supplies. Like food—something spicy…and candy bars, the fun little ones.”
“Kate can go get everything,” my mom offered.
“Get some stuff for s’mores, too! Oh, and grab some blankets just in case it gets cold.”
“We’ll stay here in case the space ship comes back,” my mom said.
I shot her a disbelieving look. “You both just argued that I needed to be here to investigate and report on the possible alien encounter, and now you’re sending me out for snacks?”
“Don’t forget aluminum foil,” Ella said, putting her finger to her lips in thought. “We need our minds protected in case the aliens try to get inside and steal our memories.”
I shook my head as I walked away with Annie. “They’re both insane all on their own, but put them together with a shared agenda and it’s practically anarchy.”
“You really had no chance of convincing them to go home,” Annie agreed. “I’ll hang out with them while you’re gone.”
My brows arched in surprise. “You’re going to stay?”
She lifted a shoulder, smiling. “I’d really regret it if I missed seeing an alien. Plus, someone needs to watch them until you get back.”
I laughed as I walked to my Jeep and drove back into town.
I called Spence on the way and told him about the rattlesnake and potential UFO. He was amused—even more so because I was the one who had to deal with the story, not him. It felt like I was on-call every hour of every day.
I was picking up the last of Ella’s requested supplies from the grocery store. I’d gotten some strange looks from people who were examining the contents of my cart. They probably assumed I was going on a picnic, which would have led them to wonder who exactly I was picnicking with—mysterious, sexy Hawke, or handsome but aggravating Drake. And a few people, who didn’t know Spence’s secrets, probably wondered if he was my mystery date as well.
“Hey, Kitty Kate.” The voice behind me was deep and husky.
My breath caught in my throat. Only one person used that nickname for me. I turned around and tried not to blatantly ogle him. I failed. Dressed in tan cargo pants and a black tee shirt that fit his muscled torso like a second skin, Hawke was a sight for sore eyes. “Hey, yourself. I didn’t know you were in town.”
“I’m everywhere.”
I didn’t doubt that, and it kind of scared me. “So you’re just hanging out at the grocery store for fun on Saturday night?”
“If you want me to show you a fun Saturday night, Kitty Kate, hop in my car.”
That was tempting. But I had work to do.
He shifted his stance as he answered my question. “I saw a Facebook message about you gathering supplies for an illicit date.”
I rolled my eyes. I really hated social media and small towns. “I didn’t know you were a social media stalker, Hawke.”
