by Claire Angel
“All right, well get back here man. We haven't got shit today.”
We weren't supposed to catch anything. The whole plan was that we were going to get Steven out of his element and maybe do some drugs. I know that Phillip had brought some pot to see if that would be a good way to get him chatty. Now that was going to happen because Amber and Mona were here.
Mona was walking away when I finally got over to the girls. She didn't look to be happy, but she wasn't pissed off and cussing me out, so I was going to take that as a good sign. “Where are you going, Mona?”
“I need to go find somewhere to pee. I think I've had too much beer.”
If I wasn't trying to get rid of her, I would have offered to show her where, but I wanted a little bit of alone time with Amber. I wanted to know what they were talking about.
“Well, I will be right here when you get back Mona.”
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and then wiped off her lipstick, smiling at me. “Don't miss me too much.”
I told her that I wouldn't, I knew that I’d finally told the truth. Mona had never been the one for me. She was a way for me to stay busy and motivated, so I wasn't lonely, but there were other times where I felt lonelier in her presence, then without her. When I was around Amber or thinking about Amber, Mona could not quite fill the hole that was left.
“It's good to see that the two of you are getting along.”
“Oh yeah, she's nice.”
“You say that like you don't like her.”
“I guess I don't. She's not very smart, is she?”
I kind of stopped and looked at her for a moment and I could see the jealousy in her eyes. It was strange for me to see that because Amber usually wasn't that way. Amber was above all that, but apparently, even she could be human sometimes.
“You know that most guys don't look for smart girls, right?”
“Oh, I know. I had to dumb myself down for years in college, but I gave up on that.”
“So, you found a doctor.”
“It just happened. I didn't even know he was a doctor until we had been dating for several weeks. He didn't really even come out with it. Most guys would have boasted about it, but not Steven. He's really into humility.”
I was getting more irritated, because it felt like Steven was some kind of damn saint. I certainly wasn't that way. I cussed and did bad things and I would have told people if I was a doctor. I didn't want to think about it, but maybe Steven was the better man between the two of us. Maybe he would make her happier.
“Yeah, I can see why you like him. He seems a bit boring, but I guess if you're looking for security only, then you have found the right one.”
“It isn't only about security Jesse. You really just don't understand.”
I guess I didn't understand. A few hours ago, she was underneath me in the front yard and wasn’t thinking about Steven at all. Now that it was getting closer to the day of her wedding and she was remembering things about him that made her smile inside, it made me want to choke.
“Well if it is not about security and you don't love him, then what is it about?”
“I never said that I didn't love him.”
“You kind of did, Amber. You certainly aren't head over heels in love with him, as a bride should be.”
“Who are you to tell me how I should act?”
Her voice had gotten lower and I could tell that I was pushing buttons that I wasn't supposed to be. Why was it every time we had a conversation, it turned into an argument? I just wanted to be real with her and tell her how I really felt, although I knew that it would not do any good. I had said what I wanted to tell her, but she had not responded in the way I had hoped for.
Mona was walking back, and I shot a look at Amber, knowing that I was going to have to go back over with the guys.
“I don't know exactly how you should act Amber, but I know that you shouldn't be kissing your ex and you should love the one you’re going to marry. Don't you think?”
She was still staring back at me when I looked back once to see. I wanted my words to sink in, because what she was doing was not right. She should be with me, not some boring ass doctor. What fun would life be that way?
When I got back to the guys, they seemed to be a bit more buzzed than when I had left them. I could smell the reason why, but I declined to take any. I hadn't smoked in a while and this wasn't the time for me to be losing my focus. Not when I had Mona and Amber running around, talking to each other. That was literally the last thing I needed to be doing. They didn’t seem to be getting along though, so I wasn't going to worry about it too much.
I asked Phillip if he had gotten everything he came for, but he was not very happy. There was a smile on his face and a glaze in his eyes, but I could tell that he had not gotten any dirt on Steven. Maybe we were just wrong, and the man didn't have a past like we thought he did. Maybe he was just that good.
“We need to start wrapping it up. I've got a few things to do while I'm here before the bachelor party.”
Phillip perked up thinking about the party. I knew that he was going to try and get Steven in trouble. We didn't have to worry about what the guy was going to do in his past. Now all I had to worry about was what he was going to do presently, that was going to ruin his future. Phillip was still willing to do anything to break the two up. I wasn't far behind that.
Since Phillip wasn't really able to drive, Mona and Amber ended up driving back together, while I took the guys. I learned a lot about Steven, and it was worse than I thought. The guy really was lily white pure and I was starting to think that Phillip’s scheme wasn’t it going to work. How could we break them up, when there was no reason to?
I could already hear Phillip in my mind though. “If it doesn't work, we go to violence.”
Chapter 12
Amber
The ride to home was pretty awkward. I and Mona did not have much in common and we had quickly realized that, when we were at the lake. She wanted to ask more questions about Jesse, but I wasn't too interested in that. I didn't feel right talking about Jesse when he wasn't around to hear it.
So, instead, I turned the radio on and listened to her flick through the stations for the next hour and a half. I had to stop for gas once and it was the only moment of sanity that I had. How could Jesse be with her?
I knew part of it was because I was jealous of her. I just didn't see how they could match together. They were so different from each other. She was so different from me and I liked to believe that we had always worked out well together.
When we finally got to the house, Jesse and Philip took off and I was thankful for a little bit of time without her.
“Mona seems like a nice girl.”
“You really need to work on reading people Steven, because you suck at it. That chick is horrible. I don't know how anybody would want to be around her very much.”
He smiled at me. “You really didn't like her, huh?”
“No, I can't say that I did. What did you guys end up doing?”
“Not a lot of fishing, but we did smoke a little pot.”
I just shook my head. That was not like Steven at all, but Phillip and Jesse had that way with people. They could suck you into their little world, just like they have done to me before.
“Well, I'm glad that you had a good time. Why don't we make a sandwich or something?”
He agreed and pulled me in for a kiss. Usually, I wasn’t too disturbed by this, but for some reason, I didn't want to kiss Steven. I didn’t want his lips on mine and deep down, I knew that was because I didn't want to erase Jesse’s touch, which was my last. He was the last person that kissed me, and I wanted to keep it that way for a little bit longer. That was a horrible thing to think of, considering that I was marrying Steven and not Jesse.
I sidestepped his advances and told him that I was going to go take a shower really quick. When he offered to get in with me, I quickly said no. I didn't know what was going on with me lately, but I was
feeling strange and the last thing I wanted to do was let my fiancé touch me. That should have been the red flag for me then.
Getting out of the shower I had tried to push the rest of the crap out of my head. There really was a lot going on and before I knew it, the hour was getting late. We had a late lunch and then we both ended up taking a nap. It was too early to get up this morning and both of us needed some sleep.
***
When I woke up later, Steven was already getting ready and I just kind of watched him for a few minutes. He had quite a body and he was very handsome. He was an all-American boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. His square jaw and a smile could warm even the coldest heart. He was a doctor, so he helped people. He was kind. He was all of these things and so many more, but for one reason or another, it wasn't enough for me.
The thought came over me very quickly and it was something that I couldn't push back. I really wanted to. We were getting married tomorrow, but now I was looking at him like he wasn’t good enough. Or maybe it was me, that wasn't good enough for him.
“What's on your mind, baby?”
“Nothing, why?”
“I don't know, you have this look on your face. Are you sure that you're alright with me going to this party? You know that I don't really have to go. It’s not really my sort of thing anyway.”
“No, my brother is making an effort, so we should at least give him a chance, right? I'm sure that you're just going to see some strippers and drink a little too much. Just don't overdo it, because it will be hard to have the wedding at noon if you're hungover.”
“What are you going to do?”
I hadn't really thought about it, but most likely, I was going to have a few friends over and we were going to do each other’s hair and nails. Drink a lot of wine and talk about men.
“Not much. Think I might have a night in with the girls.”
“That sounds like fun.”
It didn't really sound like too much fun to me. I was far more worried about the wine that I was going to suggest. Maybe I needed to get some help from one of my friends. I had said as much to Callie. Although she knew how I felt about Jesse. She had wanted me to get married and had said so once before, but after my reaction, she then said that she would never mention it again. She hadn’t, but maybe I wanted her to mention it.
I started to think that in reality all I really wanted, was for somebody to take me out of the wedding. They needed to tell me that I was being an idiot, because obviously that's what I was being. And how did I think that I could marry Steven, when I didn't even really love him?
The thought hit me like a hammer in my chest and it almost took my breath away. Why haven't I thought of that before?
“Yeah, I bet it is going to be fine. You go out and have a good time. I will see you in the morning.”
It sounded hollow to my ears, because now I was seriously debating if he was going to see me or not. Would it be worse to walk away now and tell him that I didn't love him, or would it be worse to marry him, knowing that I didn't?
He smiled at me through the mirror and I tried to return the gesture, but I know that mine was coming up short. I certainly wasn't feeling it.
“Well, I am going to let you go ahead and get ready. Do you want me to make a pot of coffee before I go?”
“No, I think I'll be fine.”
Neither one of us said anything for a moment, but I think we were both waiting for the other to say something else. Or maybe it was just me. Maybe I was hoping that he would tell me that this was a bad idea. If he was the one that realized it, then it wouldn't be my fault and I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about it.
I heard Jesse and my brother coming in later. It was starting to get dark out and I went downstairs to see them. They both looked like they were up to no good.
“Steven will be ready in a minute.”
Phillip had a smirk on his face, and I warned him again to leave him alone. For what I had going on in my mind and what I was contemplating doing to Steven, the last thing I needed was for Phillip to make things worse. He tended to do that sometimes.
I went to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. It was really just to do something with my hands. I felt Jesses’ eyes on me and when I heard Steven coming down, we both looked. Even though he had tried to fit in with Jesse and Phillip, it was clear that he did not. It was also clear that I didn't love him. He was kind, nice and handsome and sexy at the same time. He had all of the things that a girl needs in her partner, but this wasn't enough for me.
What the hell was I supposed to do with that?
Chapter 13
Jesse
“Steven, this is your last night of freedom. Do you really want to waste it being uptight?”
Phillip was trying to talk Steven into going to a strip club. He was convinced that he was going to get Steven to do something delicious and then we were going to be able to take pictures of it. We're going to be able to show his sister what kind of man she was about to marry, and she was going to call it all off. That was what he thought about in his mind. I didn't think that it was actually going to turn out that way.
It was like Stephen knew what our plans were, because he kept turning us down. Phillip was getting irritated and I could tell that violence was on the menu, if he didn't figure out a way to talk him into it elsewise.
“It's just a little strip bar. It’s no big deal. Come on. We are going to have to change locations before we get too sloshed anyway. It is almost impossible to get a taxi around here.”
Steven finally agreed to it but he didn’t seem too enthused about it. I wondered what was giving him pause.
When we started to leave, I could tell that the night was going to get out of hand, if I didn't do something about it. I was going to have to be a good friend. I did not want Amber as a consolation prize. If she wanted to marry this jerk, then she should get married. I wasn’t going to do anything to get in the way. If that happened, then that obviously wasn't meant to be between us.
***
The gentleman's club was full of people when we got there and there were several girls dancing on multiple stages around the room. I haven't been here in a very long time, but there was certainly something in the air beside still cigarettes and liquor. Something naughty and I looked over at Steven to gauge his reaction.
Honestly, I thought there would be nothing to report. He had been such a Boy Scout the whole time, that I didn't think it would be any different now. But there was something different. He had a bit of a gleam in his eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that this was the first time he had seen half naked women dancing on a stage for no other reason, but for entertainment.
I slapped him on the shoulder a bit hard and asked him if he was alright.
“Yeah, I guess. I don't know.”
“First time?”
He nodded his head and then looked away. Most likely he was a bit embarrassed about that.
“Well, it is about time to pop your cherry then. Come on.”
All of a sudden, I went from a good friend to the bad friend. I really had believed that I would be the voice of reason tonight, but that was not going to be the case at all. I was the one that was going to push him. I could already see the destination at hand, all I had to do was get him there. Maybe I didn't give a damn how I got Amber, as long as I had her.
The night turned out exactly how Phillip wanted it to, which was rather surprising. His plans usually never turned out that way and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I didn't wake up in a jail cell the next morning. We never got arrested, because there was never a fight.
What happened was Steven did exactly what any other hot-blooded American would do. He got far too fresh with the strippers and there were a lot of pictures taken. It wasn't even the fact that Steven had to have a lot to drink. We didn't even have to push him to act out. Apparently, all he needed was a few boobs in front of him and Steven lost himself a little bit.
I thought that
I would be a little happier with the destruction of my competition, but that was not how I felt at all. It just felt dirty because it was too damn easy. This guy was a complete jerk and at some point, I had justified it because she really did need to see what he was.
Phillip even got a little upset, when he saw how quickly Steven changed. I think that there was always a reason that he didn't like Steven, but when it was presented in such a way, it was almost impossible to feel sorry for him anymore. We dropped Steven off at home and Phillip followed me to the hotel.
Mona was there when we got there. Of course. I don't know why I kept forgetting about her, but then again, I guess I do. She shouldn’t have come on this trip and if I would have known then, what I know now, I would have kept her there. Hell, I probably should have broken up with her months ago.
“What are you guys up to?”
We were going through Phillip’s phone, trying to figure out which ones were best to send to Amber.
“Not much, just looking at a few pictures. I will be in there in a minute, okay?”
“Well, what are you looking at?”
I didn't want to show her, because I was embarrassed. This was obviously beneath me and I couldn't believe that I had stooped to this level, but here I was. I also didn't want her to know how involved I was with Amber's wedding.
“It's nothing really.”
“What is it, some naked chicks or something?”
“Actually, kind of is. It’s just pictures from the bachelor party.”
“What are you doing with those?”
“We were just going to send them to a couple of other people that went. That's all.”
She made a pouting look at her face and I tried to ignore it. She wanted me to come to bed with her, because it was already one o'clock in the morning and the wedding was at noon. But this had to be done now. Amber had to get the pictures, before she started getting ready for the wedding. She needed to call it off well before then.
