by Claire Angel
She doesn't really say anything to me, she just kind of looks at me and it's a little freaky. I have no idea how to handle it and I haven't said anything to Amber, because I knew she was not going to be happy about it. I needed to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, any more than I already had.
I got my coffee and I could feel her eyes on me. When I turned around, I walked up to her and sat down at the table that she was sitting at.
“I keep seeing you here, but I don't remember you drinking coffee Mona. What are you doing here?”
Mona had that smile on her face and she kind of shrugged her shoulders like she was innocent. She was anything, but innocent.
“I just like the tea here.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because for the last week, you’ve been in here staring me down and I want to know what it is that you want.”
“I don't want anything from you. Not that you're willing to give me anyways. You made your choice Jesse.”
I didn't really know how to respond. This was uncharted water and it had been my genius idea to walk up to her and confront the situation, but now I was left holding the bag. What was I supposed to say to that?
“So, you’re just going to hang out here every morning and watch me?”
It was hard not to feel a little chilled by the idea of it. Was Mona a bit untethered? I wouldn’t have known really. That part of a person’s personality is usually hidden, until it suddenly isn’t.
“I don’t know about that, but I will come here if I want to.”
There were no laws about it, and it wasn’t like she was doing anything wrong. She was just messing with me. I think. How far was she willing to go? I had no idea, but I was sure that I would find out soon enough.
“Well, I don’t want there to be any hard feelings.”
“Then you shouldn't have ended things the way you did. What did you expect to happen?”
She was right of course. I could have handled everything a whole lot better, but instead, I mucked it up. I had been so worried about Amber and her feelings, that I had paid little attention to Mona. We were together for quite some time and even though I wasn't able to feel anything for her, I knew that it wasn't the same her way. I didn't feel upset like she did about it.
“I really am sorry about what happened.”
I genuinely was. I had behaved badly, and I knew better. I was turning over a new leaf and I wanted her to know that I was the jerk.
“You will be sorry Jesse. I promise you that.”
She got up and walked away while I was filled with confusion. The first question was to ask myself what she could actually do to me. I was untouchable in some respects, but at the same time I had to wonder. People can come up with quite creative ways to destroy someone, if they put some effort into it. It felt like Mona and I were in that stage.
Chapter 20
Amber
“So, you are telling me that you don't know why he invited us out?”
I told Jesse that I didn't really know. Phillip had invited us out for dinner. He wanted us to meet someone that he had been dating for a while and neither one of us knew who it was. It felt a little strange the way he talked on the phone, but I was just happy to imagine for a minute that we could finally get over the wedge that was between us.
“Isn't it enough that he invited us out?”
“I don't know Amber. Your brother has been acting pretty strange lately. He really has and I don’t know if I trust his methods. But I really hope we can finally put this past us too. Maybe he has fallen in love with someone and it will be easier for him to accept what's happened between us. Love has a way of changing things and someone's perspective. Maybe that's what's going to happen.”
As much as I wanted to believe that, I didn't. I just feel like Philip had something on his mind or maybe he had a plan in place, but ignoring it and pretending like there wasn't this huge tension between us was not an option anymore. I no longer wanted to play pretend, If it meant another fight or something of that nature, then I was fine with it. Whatever had to be done to get through it.
“Just say that you'll go and be nice.”
“Of course, I'll go. I am just saying that it seems a little damn weird, don't you think?”
Jesse wasn't worried about fighting with Phillip. Not really. He was more worried about making things worse. I know that it had been a huge change for him and even though they have gotten together a few times here and there, it wasn't the same. Phillip and Jesse have been best friends before I broke it up and I was filled with guilt over it.
“Well then, it's settled. We’re going to go tonight. I think we agreed to Siestas on 3rd. We’re going to meet them there around eight.”
“Okay baby. What are you going to do?”
“I need to go grab a couple of things before we go out. Do you want me to pick up anything for you?”
He told me that he didn't need anything, and I left wondering what the dinner with my brother was going to be like. Phillip had not stopped talking to me like he had with Jesse, but we certainly were not communicating like we used to. We weren’t strangers at least.
When I got back, Jesse was in a strange mood. I knew that it was hard for him to be around Phillip when they were so out of sorts. I was really hoping that somehow this would all make it easier. That the two guys would realize that they were being dumb and would finally start talking again as real friends.
“What if this is a trap Amber?”
“What could he trap us on? You know how Phillip works, so what would it be?”
“There is nothing, but I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this.”
I did too, but I didn't chime in with that. It was bad enough that it was said once.
“It's going to be fine Jesse. You'll see.”
He agreed but we both knew that he didn't believe it. Jesse was quiet most of the afternoon and we just watched a movie together, but neither one of us was really paying attention. Our minds were at the meeting later. Phillip had said it was important, so I could only imagine what that meant.
***
“I really like that dress on you. It makes me feel like I should bring you to church.”
I giggled at him and swirled around in the maroon dress. It was one with three-quarter sleeves and a longer skirt that went past my knees. It was certainly different than what I usually wore, and Jesse was right in a way. I was trying to seem more innocent than I usually was.
“Well, we aren't going to church tonight, but maybe we should. I feel like we have done something wrong and we're about to pay for it.”
The words slipped out before I could stop them and Jesse kind of shook his head in agreement.
“You too huh?”
“It was just the way he said it. You should have heard his tone. I think that he is about to spring some bad news on us and there is no telling what it is.”
Jesse seemed to be a little bit relieved that I was on the same page as him. I had tried my best to pretend like everything's going to be fine, trying to counteract his negativity, but I knew that it wasn't going to do me any good.
“So, are we ready for this?”
Jesse kind of shook his shoulders a little bit and told me that he didn't know. “It would be a hell of a lot easier if we knew what we were up against first.”
“Yeah, I guess so. The only thing we can do is, go and find out.”
I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. “Whatever this is, we'll get through it.”
It was words that I hoped were true. Why was I suddenly filled with such dread? I was only going to see my brother. We were going to meet someone special to him, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that wouldn't shut up. It was a trap, I just didn't know what kind of trap it was going to be.
We left a little early, just so that we wouldn't be late. I waited in the front for Jesse to park the car out back and he cam
e back around with a smile on his face. I knew that there was something on his mind, but he was trying to hide it, much like I tried to hide it earlier. The smile was fake, but the kiss was enough to distract me for a minute.
“Are you ready for this?”
“I sure am.” How was I supposed to be ready for something that I didn't even know what it was going to be?
With our hands intertwined, we walked into the restaurant and ask the hostess if there was somebody waiting for us. We gave the young blonde my brother’s name and she smiled at me.
“Right this way. He and his party are already here.”
His party. Who it was going to be?
We followed the hostess into a separate room with tables full of diners. I had never been to this place before. Phillip had suggested it, so it was all a little new to me. My eyes were searching out for my brother, so that I could get the reaction out of the way before I saw who it was he had brought. Why did I think that it was going to be somebody that I already knew?
When I finally saw my brother sitting at the table, I also saw the blonde that was next to him. She looked familiar and then I realize exactly who it was. Why was my brother here with Mona?
Before I could ask the question, I turned to Jesse to see how he was responding. The tightness in his face had multiplied dramatically and I felt like there was something that I didn't know. Something that I wasn't seeing as clearly as everyone else. What was she doing here and why was Jesse so freaked out all of a sudden?
“What the fuck is she doing here?”
He asked the question to no one but himself underneath his breath. The feeling of dread that had filled me earlier was compounding quickly. Whatever this was, I knew that I wasn't going to like it.
“What is going on?”
“I don't know. But it's not going to be good.”
“Is there something I should know before we get to the table?”
The hostess turned around and smiled.
“Here is your table. Your waitress will be with you in just a moment.”
I stood there and said hello to Phillip. He stood up and gave me a little hug that was no more than that. He didn't even really look at me, because his eyes were mainly on Jesse. There was still this huge tension between them and now it had increased tenfold.
We all sat down, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of Mona. She had a little smirk on her face, and I wondered what it was about. What was she thinking that made her look that way? She looked confident of whatever it was, and I didn't like the idea of that at all.
“So, Phillip, what's going on?”
“Well I wanted to come clean about something, Mona and I have been dating for several months now and I think it's about time that you knew about it. It will save us from problems down the road, don't you think?”
It sounded like a good idea, but it also didn't sound anything like Phillip. Whatever he was thinking right now, he certainly wasn't saying the truth out loud.
“So, you two started dating after we did?”
“You don't mind, do you friend? I mean what did you tell me, that you can't control who you love, right?”
It was a messed up move on Jesse’s part, plain as day and I could see the man I love was ready to explode again. The vein on the side of his neck was popped out and I knew that his blood pressure was up. Maybe it was going to be Jesse that initiated the violence this time. But if they were over, then why was he so upset about it?
Chapter 21
Jesse
I looked over at the friend, I’d known for so many years and I couldn’t believe that he would go there. Not that he wouldn’t do it in general. It was the way that Phillip was presenting it, that pissed me off the most. And of course, he had to do it right in front of his sister, so that I couldn't show the appreciation that I felt for him at the moment.
Mona had another little smile on her face, and I knew that they were both satisfied with my reaction. I had tried my best not to give them one, but it was impossible not to. How could I not say something about this? It was massive. It seemed like it was always a mess and I didn't really know what to say.
The waitress came around and I ordered a couple of drinks. because I knew I was going to need them. Amber didn't seem as worried about it as I was, but she was definitely feeling weary.
“Well I am glad to see that you have been happy for a little while. I know that sometimes it comes to you in the strangest ways too.”
I looked over at Amber for a moment and I wanted to tell her to stop playing the game. Didn't she see what was happening here? Phillips had brought Mona to dinner, just so we could witness it. He did it for me, and it wasn't because they were madly in love. No one was madly in love with Mona.
Phillips smiled. “Thanks for that sis. I am glad that someone is happy for us.”
Phillip looked at me when he said it, but I wasn't going to back down. How the hell was I supposed to be happy about this?
“I am happy for you man. I am just a little surprised is all. I would have never thought the two of you would hit it off so well.”
My attention was on Mona. She had told me something a few months back when I had seen her at the coffee shop. She told me that I was going to regret what I did to her and I wondered if this was the grand plan. It didn't seem like all that big of a deal really. I knew that Phillip would go to such lengths to piss me off, but when it came to Mona, I wasn't really upset. I didn't love her. I never did.
But I should have known that there was more in store for me. This was a dinner that was solely for me, as soon as I realized that, I regretted even coming. I should have gone with my gut and told Amber that there was no way I was getting in the middle of it. What could come of it?
The dinner was awkward to say the least. Phillip was over attentive to Mona and there was a lot of PDA going on. I wasn't going to kiss or touch Amber while I was in front of her brother, but there seemed to be no qualms about Phillip and Mona kissing and touching in front of her ex. It was just a strange circumstance and one that I wanted to get out of.
We were on for dessert menus and the ladies decided that they were going to go powder their noses together. At first, I was worried about Mona and Amber alone together, but my thoughts quickly shifted when Mona stood up and I realized that she was pregnant. How many months? No idea, but she was pregnant.
My face must have whitened, because I heard a snicker from Phillip across the table.
“Surprised?”
“Hell yeah, I'm surprised. What the hell is going on Phillip? Don't tell me that you're in love with Mona.”
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
“So, you knocked Mona up my ex-girlfriend and now what, you're in love?”
“Would that be so bad?”
“I don't know Phillip. What do you think?”
“I think that you're not seeing the big picture and you're wrong. I most likely did not knock her up. It happened later when she found out, and I decided to stick around. Someone needed too.”
He was talking in circles as far as I was concerned, and I didn't understand what he was really saying. Someone had to stick around? Was he implying...?
“So, you're saying that, what? That isn't your baby?”
“We've only been together a few months. She wouldn't be showing like that yet, I don't think. The doctors won't be able to tell her a gestation for a while, so most likely it's yours.”
The air seemed to completely evaporate out of the room, and I could no longer breathe. I tried to breathe. I tried to take a deep breath, but no oxygen would go into my lungs. I was choking. I was going to die right here in the restaurant in front of everybody and nobody was even going to know why.
I pushed back from the table because it felt like I was suffocating, and I don't know why I thought it would help. I should have known that nothing was going to help. Ever. How could it?
“You all right?”
“Why would you bring her here and do this?”
&nb
sp; “Because that is my fucking sister, Jesse. You know how I feel about that.”
There was no way that I was going to be able to talk sense into Phillip. He was right of course. I knew how he felt about his sister and how protective he was of her. I knew all of that and I'd still made the decision that I did. I still wanted her, and even at this moment, I wanted her.
“I love her Phillip. You know, that right?”
“Lots of guys have loved her Jesse, but that doesn't mean that you’re good enough for her. You have too much in your past and you're going to have a baby soon with another woman. Are you really going to leave Mona like this? How do you think my sister is going to feel when she finds out?”
“So, this was your plan all along?”
“How many times have you done this with me Jesse? Why do I feel like you don't understand what is going on? You know what this is.”
I sighed out loud and had to shake my head.
“Yeah, I know what this is Phillip. I just never thought that it would come from you and I would be the target.”
And then I thought of something else. If talking doesn't work, then violence is there to fix the problem.
Violence sounded really damn good right now.
Chapter 22
Amber
I kept thinking to myself that this wasn't happening, but Mona was in the bathroom with me and of course she had lots of questions. I had a few questions of my own too, considering that she looked like she was halfway through a pregnancy. Why didn't I know that she was knocked up? Did Jesse know and he just failed to tell me? What else was he keeping from me?
“You look a little surprised Amber. Are you okay?”
I looked up from the sink and saw Mona standing behind me. I hadn't even seen or heard her come out of the bathroom stall, but I wasn't really paying much attention. My mind was racing, and I didn't know what to say to her. It was even harder to look at her because of her stomach.
