by Zoe Blake
“Panties too.”
I heard a rustle of fabric and turned my head to see him shrugging out of his suit jacket. After unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt and loosening his silk tie, he pulled them both over his head. It was as if he was shedding all semblance of civility. Even through the dimness, I could make out each of his tattoos. The blade of the dagger piercing his neck seemed to gleam in the moonlight.
He looked like a pirate standing on the deck of a frigate about to whip his helpless captive.
Except this wasn’t between the safe pages of a book, this was real life… and I was his captive.
Not wanting to anger him further, I pulled down the simple white cotton panties till they bunched on top of the denim around my thighs.
I could feel the gooseflesh rise on my arms, but whether it was from the chilly night air or frightened anticipation, I didn’t know.
He snapped the belt, and my body jolted.
Wrapping my fingers around the table’s edge, I braced for the first strike.
I didn’t have to wait long.
His belt struck across both ass cheeks as the tongue whipped around my hip.
I cried out from the shock and pain.
Agonizing pinpricks of heat raced across my skin.
His belt lashed me a second time. I raised high on my toes as I bit my lip, tasting blood.
Oh, God, it burned.
The third strike hit just below the curve of my ass, in the sensitive spot just above my thighs.
“Please, I’m sorry!”
“What are you sorry for, baby?”
I didn’t answer fast enough. His belt whipped across my ass in rapid succession, striking both cheeks individually. My skin was on fire as pain pulsed over every inch of my vulnerable bottom. My fingers clawed at the table’s cold surface as I desperately reached out… for what I didn’t know.
The lights from the nearby windows taunted me.
Could they see?
Could they hear?
Were faceless eyes watching Dimitri as he stood, legs spread, arm raised high, ready to torment me with more lashes from his belt?
“Why are you sorry?” he ground out.
“I’m sorry for lying!” I cried as my wet cheek slid against the smooth glass surface.
“Do you deserve this punishment?”
This time he struck me with the flat of his palm. The feel of his skin against mine was almost as much of a shock as the pain. This time the searing burn was more intimate… more humiliating. He rubbed his hand in circles over the curves of my ass. The slight pressure only increased my torment.
“Do you deserve this, Emma?”
“Yes! Yes! Punish me! I deserve it,” I choked out as my entire body trembled violently.
Wrenching sobs racked my body as his belt whipped across my swollen skin. It chased everything from my mind. My entire focus was on his touch and the punishing feel of leather.
As I tumbled down into that dark void, my body took over, transforming with the pain.
Transcending it.
I was aware of everything. The musky scent of his cologne. The kiss of a night breeze on my heated cheeks. The rustle of the tree leaves in the distance. The hard press of the table against my erect nipples. The angry energy radiating off his body as he towered over my prone one like a vengeful god. The tightening of my inner thighs as I became aroused from his rough treatment. My breath came in harsh gasps as I grappled with the tangle of conflicting emotions.
There was something overwhelming and primal about how he was dominating me.
Forcing me to submit under his hand… under his control and rule.
This wasn’t just about me lying.
His anger came from something darker, something more intimate… and dangerous.
I knew that for certain.
I could feel it.
This was about his need to control the world around me.
His fierce need to protect me.
By defying him, I had shattered that world and the illusion that he could keep me from all harm.
Now he needed to take that control back… by force if necessary… by controlling my body.
The metal buckle of the belt rattled as it skidded across the cement floor.
The fabric of his pants brushed the backs of my thighs as he stepped closer.
I didn’t dare turn to look.
My soft sobs could not stifle the harsh metallic sound of him lowering his zipper.
Oh, God.
The thick shaft of his cock fell heavily against the crack of my ass. It felt even hotter than my punished skin. Rubbing the head between my cheeks, he probed between my thighs.
My cheeks flamed, knowing he would find me wet and ready for him.
Leaning over my body, his chest hair brushed my back as he wrapped his fist into my tangled curls, wrenching my head back. My body bowed. Running the edge of his teeth along the shell of my ear, he rasped, “I will show no mercy.”
He thrust in to the hilt, piercing my body as he viciously claimed me.
The table screeched as it pitched forward with the power of his thrust.
I struggled to accept his thick girth as he ruthlessly pounded into me. His hips brushed my bruised ass with each movement, sending shockwaves of painful pleasure coursing up my spine.
His right hand flattened against my lower back as his left pulled on my hair, all while his cock kept up a punishing pace, fucking me raw.
Deep inside a dark side of my soul I didn’t even know existed, I wanted this.
Craved it.
“Harder!” I cried out, needing it to hurt, needing to feel possessed by this man.
His hand on my back slid lower. His thumb pressed between my cheeks till he found the tight, puckered hole that guarded my final virginity.
Without warning or even a spark of gentleness, he pushed his thumb in deep. Pulling slightly, stretching me.
“Ow! Ow! Oh, God!”
“That’s right, baby. Take it deep like a good girl.”
Between the powerful thrusts of his cock deep inside of me and the taboo feel of his thumb in my ass, my body couldn’t take any more stimulation. Dizzying waves of dark pleasure crashed over me.
His hands enclosed my hips as he pumped me full of his hot seed.
The chilly night air swept over my heated, sweat-drenched skin.
A physical manifestation of the icy fear and humiliation that was unfurling inside my stomach.
As he swept me into his arms and carried me through the French double doors to his bedroom, harsh reality shattered my heart into pieces.
I loved Dimitri more than breath… which was why I had to leave him.
Chapter 22
All my heart is yours, sir: it belongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest of me from your presence forever. - Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
Emma
“You’ve been quiet this morning.”
The deep timbre of his voice shattered the tense silence in the car.
Blinking back tears, I played with the rolled-up cuff of the dark grey hoodie I was wearing. Bold block letters across the front in maroon outlined in white read Oxford University. It was his college hoodie. It had that wonderfully soft, worn-in feel.
My t-shirt from the night before was torn and reeked of rum. After getting a shower together, where Dimitri had spent half the time on his knees with his mouth buried between my legs pulling from me yet another mind-blowing orgasm, he had given me the hoodie to wear.
We stood in the middle of his bedroom as he cuffed each too-long sleeve till my hands poked out. It was cozy and warm and smelled faintly of his cologne. I just wanted to curl up and hug it to me.
I was wearing his college hoodie.
This was such a quintessential boyfriend moment. I’d dreamed of sharing cute romantic moments like this with someone for as long as I could remember.
It was perfect.
And I was about to ruin it all.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I whispered. Too afraid to look at him, I peeked at his hands on the wheel. They flexed then tightened into fists as I stared at the heavy black and silver watch on his wrist, the one depicting one of history’s bloodiest military engagements.
There was an agonizingly long pause.
When he finally responded, his voice was tight and controlled. “What are you saying, Emma?”
“I’m not the girl you think I am.”
“I’m going to need more of an explanation than that, моя крошка.”
A tear escaped down my cheek. After swiping it away, I looked down at the dark water stain it had made on the inside cuff of his hoodie, the diamond bracelet peeking out beneath its folds.
моя крошка.
My little one.
His special endearment for me.
I love it.
After today, I will never hear him call me that again.
I’d always liked the memes that tell you to be the heroine of your own story. I must have had over a hundred saved on my computer. I’d spent my entire life dreaming between the pages of a book. Never letting go of this firmly held belief that all I was missing was the opportunity to experience drama, adventure, and romance. That once it came my way, I would rise to the occasion. I would become the bold and sassy heroine who could easily match wits with the hero. I would risk it all for love and laugh at danger as I seized life’s adventures.
I would become the heroine of my story.
But now that the time had come, I realized I wasn’t that girl.
I wasn’t heroine material.
I was in way over my head with Dimitri.
Kinky, aggressive sex.
Diamond bracelets and expensive meals.
Guns and bags of cash.
Insane helicopter rides over the city in the dead of night.
Who was I kidding? This wasn’t me.
I wasn’t the sophisticated, confident woman who could hold her own on the arm of a man like Dimitri. Who could command attention as she waltzed into a restaurant and ordered the most expensive bottle of champagne.
I was the nerdy little librarian wannabe. The girl who wore Mary Janes and enjoyed spending Friday nights curled up rereading Jane Austen books.
I mean sure Dimitri liked me now, but what about a few months from now? I was sure the novelty of dating an ingénue like me would wear off. Soon he would want someone more sexually adventurous and cultured. Probably taller, too.
He would go on and be fine.
I was the one in real danger.
I was already in love with him.
The longer I stayed with him, the worse I was going to get my heart broken.
Better to cut and run now.
“You have this vision of me that just isn’t true.”
“And what would that be?”
I blushed to say it out loud. I raised my hands up in frustration as I blurted out, “You think I’m this sexy, interesting woman. Who’s adventurous in bed and someone that you should date… and I’m not! I’m not any of those things.”
The car lurched to the right as Dimitri pulled over and violently shifted it into park. Leaning over, he unsnapped my seat belt and flicked it off my lap so hard the buckle smashed against the window before zipping back into place.
Oh, my God!
He is so mad he’s going to toss me out of the car onto the side of the road!
Fuck. I had left my backpack with my wallet, keys, and phone at the bar last night. Although I was certain Mary would grab it and take it home, that didn’t help me now.
“Dimitri, I—”
Snatching me up into his arms, he dragged me across the center console to land in his lap. His left arm wrapped around me tightly as his right hand cupped my jaw and angled my head toward him.
“What are you really saying, Emma? Is this about last night? Are you afraid of me now?”
Tight lines of worry etched his mouth as his steel gaze bore into mine.
“Last night? No, Dimitri. No, absolutely not. This is about me.”
My hand rested against his freshly shaved jaw. The faint scar below his eye gave him a roguish, Viking appearance. The spicy scent of his cologne clung to his skin and suit. He looked so devastatingly handsome in a dangerous bad boy sort of way with his expensive single-breasted suit and the hints of the tattoos and muscles that lay beneath the thin civilized veneer.
“You saved me last night.” I swallowed, pushing down the terrifying memory. “Who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t come in time.”
His thumb brushed the curve of my cheek. “And after?”
I bit my lip as I shifted my gaze to the knot of his purple silk tie.
He used his grip on my jaw to tilt my head back up. “Emma, I asked you a question.”
“Last night was… fine.”
“It was a great deal more than fine, baby girl.”
“Don’t make me say it out loud,” I whined.
“Say what? That you liked when I ordered you to strip and bend over, baring that gorgeous ass to me?”
I groaned.
“That you got off on the feel of my leather belt on your skin as I punished you for being a naughty girl,” he murmured as he trailed his lips along the column of my neck.
I shifted on his lap, feeling the growing press of his cock and an answering twinge between my legs. “Dimitri, please. You have to stop.”
“That’s not what you said last night. I believe you begged me to fuck you harder,” he growled as his lips teased mine. The tip of his tongue ran along my bottom lip, tasting my moan.
Placing both hands on his chest, I pushed back till I felt the press of the steering wheel dig into my shoulder blades. “That’s the point, Dimitri! You’re making me sound like this exciting seductress and I’m not that girl!”
He chuckled. “I’ve got news for you, моя крошка. You are.” His fingers ran up the inside of my denim-clad thigh to squeeze between my legs.
“I don’t fit in your world.”
He scanned my face as his gaze hardened. “Because I’m a criminal?”
My heart skipped a beat at his boldly casual use of the word criminal.
“No. Yes. Maybe,” I stuttered. “Although I don’t really know much about it because you won’t tell me.”
He pushed his fingers in my hair and closed his fist around the curls. “And I never will. I won’t taint your innocence with the dark stain of that side of my life.”
This really was more about me and my insecurities, but there was no denying that if I stayed with him, eventually I would have to come to terms with what he did for a living and whether or not I was able to accept it. Although he had been careful to mention very little about it, there was no doubt in my mind that whatever he did, it involved violence and breaking the law.
Was I okay with that?
If I learned the truth, could I separate the man I was coming to know and love from the criminal?
Just one more reason to end this now.
“That’s the point! You see me as this innocent schoolgirl. I know I’m a novelty to you. Eventually you’ll want someone you could share all aspects of your life with. Someone who knows about fancy caviar and has a closet full of black cocktail dresses and outfits to match the pretty jewelry you give them.”
“My God. What must it be like in that crazy little head of yours,” he exclaimed. “Have I given you any reason to think that was the type of woman I wanted?”
I smoothed the tie down his shirtfront as I avoided his gaze. “No… but…”
He shifted his hips, the hard proof of his arousal pressing against the backs of my thighs.
“Do I need to pull these jeans down and prove to you how much you are exactly what I want?”
I took a deep breath. “Dimitri, I think I might be falling in love with you. That scares the crap out of me, because I feel like I’m this foolish girl running headlong into a huge mistak
e.”
“Is that what you think I am? A mistake?”
“I don’t know. I think you’ll break my heart. I think eventually you are going to tire of me and move on and I won’t be able to stand it when you do. I’ll shatter into a million pieces.”
A low vibrating growl rumbled in his chest before he pulled my head down to his to claim my mouth in a fierce, all-consuming kiss. His tongue teased and tasted mine as he nipped at the corner of my lips. The hard bristle of his goatee brushed against my sensitive lips, reminding me of its electrifying feel on my pussy earlier this morning.
We were both breathless when he pulled free. “You’re mine, Emma. Mine. And if I have to go out of my way to convince you each and every day that you are precisely what I want… then I will, but I won’t let you leave me.”
His words were everything I’d wanted to hear, but dark doubt still twisted my gut.
“Maybe I just need a little time to think. It’s been a crazy few days.”
It was hard to believe I had known this amazing man who had burst into my life with the energy and intensity of a thousand suns for less than a week. Everything was happening too fast. I was falling too hard. I needed time to slow things down and think.
“Time?”
“Yes, just a little time.”
His jaw tense, Dimitri nodded. He lifted me back into the passenger seat.
Sensing a chilled change in the atmosphere, I reached for my seat belt and buckled it. Praying we wouldn’t hit too much traffic on the way back to my apartment. The sooner I got away from his powerful presence and cleared my head, the better.
Everything was just spinning in circles right now. Being with Dimitri was like being on one of those Tilt-A-Whirl rides. I loved how off-balance and excited that ride made you feel as it rushed from one compass point to the next, but at the same time it also spun in sickening circles to the point where you couldn’t focus or get your bearings.
Worse, when you got off the ride, all the tantalizing excitement was gone. It usually left you on shaky legs, feeling dizzy and disoriented.
Dimitri pulled the car back onto the road, but instead of driving forward, he made a sharp U-turn.
