Dave set his head against the wall and closed his eyes, staying that way for a long time. I kept quiet, knowing he needed a moment to collect himself.
“I told Gabriel I needed to talk to you alone, told him it might get bloody. He wanted to ask you some questions, too, so he brought you here. We came in the back entrance of that office building, so I’m not sure where we are.” He turned to face me, his eyes red. “I’m sorry, Eric. I know you had no choice with David, I just…”
“I know, Dave. Trust me.” He nodded and frowned.
“I’m sorry things went down that way, on both sides. When we find Katherine, I’ll make sure she knows it wasn’t her fault. Hopefully that’ll help her.”
“Thank you, Dave. That means a lot.” He glanced around the room, sighing.
“I don’t have anything to cut the—” A loud explosion cut him off and shook the walls of the office.
“What the hell was that?” I asked, knowing that if anything happened right now I was pretty screwed.
The staccato of gunfire erupted in the distance, joined with more explosions, but nothing came bursting through the walls. Still, I strained against the ties to get free for the time something did. Dave jogged to the door and was about to open it when bullets cut through the wood.
“Shit!” he yelled, ducking back against the wall. The door was kicked open and someone stepped into the room, but I couldn’t believe my eyes.
“Eric?” He looked different, with a short beard spanning his face, dirt and smoke caking his features, his hair down to his shoulders, but I knew his voice.
“Matthew?” With everything else, the bulletproof vest and assault rifle made him almost unrecognizable from the first time I saw him in that town.
“I assume you two know each other?” Dave muttered, eyeing the kid like he wasn’t sure if he should take him out or not.
“Yeah, I know him. He was the kid in the journal.” Matthew rolled his eyes and cut my zip ties, offering me a Glock from a concealed holster at his back.
“If everyone is done with introductions, we need to move.” I stood, rubbing my wrists before accepting the handgun.
“What’s going on?” I checked the magazine of the handgun and, satisfied it was loaded, headed to the door.
“I’m not really sure. Our sniper reported a situation and then everything just went off the rails. At first, we were only fighting humans, but the noise attracted the zombies from the campus, and anywhere else they were hiding. Chaos hit before anyone could react. I told Kat to get everyone outside with the military while I checked something out. Heard there was some ‘asshole with a sense of humor’ so I followed my gut. I swear I saw Lieutenant Mills out there, but that made no sense.”
“Oh, it makes sense. I told her if I wasn’t back in a while to bring the cavalry. I just didn’t expect her to take it so literally.”
“Yeah, well, she did. Gabriel raided some locations they had been scouting for supplies a few months ago, so they’ve been waiting to get back at him. I guess this was the spark they were looking for. They took him out of here in handcuffs.” My face must have given away my thoughts, because he added, “He gave himself up in exchange for welcoming our civilians into San Antonio.” Once again, Gabriel disproves my theory of villainy.
“Let’s just focus on getting back to Jessica and Katherine and we’ll talk there.”
“Deal.”
Matthew led the way with his rifle, taking four shots before calling back the all clear. Clearly, he had learned a lot since the last time I remembered him. I’ll admit, I was a little proud when he said he went with his gut.
“Wait, Eric, maybe I should hold on to that.” Dave pointed at the Glock and I hesitated, an internal conflict about…well, conflict. If it meant putting others in danger, would I still adhere to my self-imposed no-kill policy? I handed the Glock to Dave grip-first and he took it. “Stay between us. You just think about what you’ll say to Katherine.” He understood my dilemma, but, thankfully, he didn’t have a comment.
We followed Matthew down several hallways, waiting at each turn for him to check around the corner. He killed with efficiency, as did Dave, and I couldn’t help but feel useless. While I wasn’t killing, though, I was able to observe the devastation taking place.
Walls crumbled before us, doors were splintered, and bodies littered the floors, thankfully more zombies than human. Still, a part of me knew this was my fault. This was these peoples’ home, for some the only family they knew anymore, and I was responsible for bringing more tragedy to their lives.
Maybe I was a bad guy in this story after all…
Ripping me out of my reverie, an explosion went off to my right, sending all three of us to the ground. A zombie burst through a doorway and fell on top of me, attempting to rip my face off. I kept one arm under its chin while my other hand reflexively shot to my hip, only to find it empty. A shot rang out and the zombie slumped against me, its weight threatening to crush me.
I glanced over its shoulder to see…Katherine? She was wearing riot gear and carrying an M4, with a sidearm at her hip. She said something to Matthew and they kissed briefly before she headed down a side path. Pushing the body off of me, I stood and noticed Matthew’s distant stare as he looked at the zombie.
“You knew her.” It was obvious that he wasn’t mourning a stranger.
“Her name was Lily. She was one of the first people we met when we got here. Gabriel had a small daycare set up for the survivors that came with kids, and Lily was one of the volunteers. All she did all day was make kids happy, and to see this happen to her…She didn’t deserve this.”
I was hoping Kat hadn’t noticed who it was before taking the shot without a second thought, but part of me knew that to be a lie. She had seen a zombie and fired, not thinking about the person it had been. Just like I used to be…Just like I taught her.
“Where’d she go?”
“She said there were a few more people trapped down that way that she had to help, but she’ll meet us outside. Come on.”
“Shouldn’t we help her?” The kid stopped.
“When she gets like this, she likes to be alone.”
“Like what?”
“Cold, focused. Ever since we left you, Eric, she’s been…different. Angrier, harder…I don’t know if it’s her way of grieving or if she’s just so far down that road that she doesn’t know how to come back. I really do hope you can help, but right now, we should move.”
The rest of the way out to the street was relatively uneventful, taking shortcuts to avoid the main halls, until finally sunlight stung my eyes. Blinking, I looked around to see a red “X” spray-painted on the side of a building down the street. Soldiers were trying to lead survivors to the building in small groups while others distracted the attentions of the zombies with various weapons and explosives. Unfortunately, some civilians were panicking, running through the open and firing wildly into the horde. We waited for a good opening, when the zombies funneling into the offices weren’t paying attention, and ran for the red building, slipping on the shell casings that laced entire areas of the ground.
A marine opened the door and hurried us inside before easing it shut, watching with careful eyes to see if any zombies broke off from the pack to follow us. Jessica was waiting in the lobby, looking beautiful as a huge grin appeared on her face.
“Thought you said you’d stay out of trouble?” I shrugged.
“I said I’d try.” She shook her head and hugged me, wrapping her arms around me, before stepping back and looking Matthew up and down. “You look good, kid.” He rubbed the back of his head and laughed, embarrassed. Her attention returned to me, reaching up and turning my head to the side. “Are you okay, Eric? You’re bleeding pretty badly.”
“It’s nice to see you, too, Jessica.” I smiled back, but winced as my jaw still hurt. Patting my forehead, my fingers came back covered in blood and my skin stung. “I’m fine, just might have lost part of my skull.” Looking around at
all the soldiers, I nodded toward the marine standing guard at the door. “How’d you get these guys on board so easily?”
“Apparently, they already wanted to raid Gabriel’s base of operations. He stole some equipment they had their eye on a while back, I guess.” So Matthew was right. “I want it to be on record that I, too, keep my promises, Eric.” She winked and I laughed.
“Have you seen Kat come through here, yet?” She shook her head.
“I was hoping she was with you, to be honest. The Army nabbed Gabriel and fell back here, sending in small teams to get more civilians to safety. There are still people trickling in, but the majority of the people in the offices are already over here, or never coming. You don’t think she’s still in there?”
Matthew cued up the radio on his vest, bringing the microphone up.
“Katherine? Come in, Kat. This is Matthew, please answer me.” We all waited in tense silence for a response, but nothing came. He tried again, giving her a minute before repeating. Still nothing.
“I can’t find Antoinette or Teresa anywhere.” Marcus entered the room and put his hand on my shoulder from behind, worry evident in the wrinkles on his strained face. I nodded and reassured him that we’d find them.
“I’m sure they’re just waiting for some zombies to move past them. They’re fine, Marcus, just try to stay calm.” I kept my tone solid, hoping I was right.
A soldier came running down the stairs, offering up another radio.
“Gabriel heard your call and said to use his, since yours was coming in jumbled.” With Matthew’s nod, I took it and cued up the mic.
“Kat, this is Eric. Please respond.” I released the switch and waited. Seconds later, the radio squelched and her voice spoke three words that chilled me to the bone, no pun intended.
“Eric, I’m freezing.”
Chapter 98
Day 245
Back to the worst that could happen
Ever feel like everything in your life has led to a point, where everything is aimed right at you and you want to jump out the way, but deep down you know you’re right where you were meant to be? Part of me knew it was always going to end this way from the beginning, like it had to be Kat. Either way, now you know why I’m standing at this window overlooking the destruction outside, left speechless by the choice before me.
“Kat, sweetie, just tell me where you are.” I was on the second floor, with Matt and Jessica looking as anxious as I felt. My eyes were glued to the walls of the office building, as if I could see through the bricks and locate her.
“I got them all out, Eric. The families are safe. I really tried to make things right.”
“You’ve lost me, kiddo. Make what right?” I could hear the terror in her voice, creeping into the words along with chattering teeth.
“I shouldn’t have left you behind, or let Jessica go alone. Matthew tried to help, but I’d already done so much I didn’t think I could go back to being who I was. I had to be stronger, had to make the hard choices…But I’m tired of the killing, Eric. I know you taught me everything, and I wouldn’t be where I am without you,” Yeah, without me she wouldn’t be locked in a freezer, full of regret and sadness. Really good parenting on my part, “but I feel like I deserve this. I couldn’t even face you when I found out you were alive, I was so scared of disappointing you. There was a group of children, Eric, and I had to try…” She cut off, and I assume she finished the rest of that sentence in tears.
Moving to a corner for privacy, I crouched to the floor and held the radio to my mouth.
“Listen to me, Katherine, you left me for survival, and you thought I was dead. I would have done the same thing. In fact, I have done the same thing, but that’s a different story for another day. A day you’ll live to see, once you tell me where the hell you are. Now, I don’t know how much blood you’ve shed since I was gone, but you’ve got a long way before you catch up to me, and even further before you reach the point of no-return. You can’t go back to being who you were, but I refuse to accept that you’ve lost the part of you that was good. Believe me, I understand how heavy this world weighs on you. All the violence and fighting…it’s not easy for anyone. But I’m damn sure you don’t deserve to die for it, Kat, just like I’m positive you have never disappointed me. If anything, I’m so proud of you for making those choices and leading your group to safety. The only thing that would upset me right now is if you just give up when I’m so close to that sitcom reunion that I’ve been looking forward to so much.” I heard a choked laugh, along with chattering teeth. “So,” I felt my voice grow rough, “tell me where you’re at, and I will come get you.”
There was silence on the other end, but then I heard her voice come back in a shudder.
“I used up my last clip getting the families out, and there were too many zombies to count, so I had to find somewhere to hide. I was on the second floor, and I knew the office had a cafeteria, so I ran there and hid in the storage locker. It locks from the inside, so I knew I’d be safe.”
“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”
“We used portable generators for electricity, so I’m going to be a popsicle by sundown.” And she couldn’t leave the locker, because she’d be eaten alive.
“Kat, I need you to stay warm as long as you can. Bundle up, move around, and try to keep your blood circulating. I promise I’ll come for you.” She laughed. “What? You don’t believe me?”
“No, I’ve just missed you, Eric…” I could hear her smile, which made me do the same.
“Hold tight, kiddo. I’m on my way.”
Our conversation had brought back so many memories, from finding her at the fort all the way to the last thoughts I had before dying in that medical tent. Even then, I had questioned if the fighting was worth it. As I stood at the window, watching the chaos unfolding before me, I could feel the crossroads I was at. Pulled between two paths, it was like my soul was at the apex, teetering on the edge.
“I know that look, Eric.” Jessica was behind me, her voice soft. “Never thought I’d see it on you, with all your plans.”
“That’s just it, Jessica.” I placed my hand on the glass and shook my head. “I’m all out of plans. For the first time in my life, I don’t know what to do.”
“Yes, you do! You came back from the dead, blew up a sad excuse for a Thunderdome, and fought your way through countless bodies for Katherine. Now you want to tell me you don’t know what to do? What’s this really about?” Unable to meet her eyes, I stared out at the smoke that continued to fill the air.
“I lost myself out there, Jessica. I was alone and I had no idea if you or Kat or anyone was alive, and I just…I feel like I forgot what it meant to be human, like I left my humanity somewhere along the way. I let myself become one of them.”
“Eric, where is this coming from? I remember how badass you were, the guy that killed to survive and help others. You weren’t a monster before, and you aren’t one now.”
“I guess all my guilt finally caught up with me.” I took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’ve been seeing Samantha since I woke up, and I thought if I stopped killing I would do right by my conscience.”
“Wait…you’ve been hallucinating about your dead ex-wife this whole time?” I nodded, knowing how crazy I must sound. “Eric, be honest, was there anything you could have done to save her?”
“I could have been there in the first place.”
“That’s not what I asked, because you can’t go back in time. When you got to the house, was there anything you could have done differently?”
“No, but—”
“So is it possible that it’s not guilt haunting you, but maybe repressed trauma that you haven’t dealt with?” She paused and let it sink in. “I knew you at the compound as a guy finally getting what he wanted, but you threw that all away to save Katherine. In fact, even in the arena, I could see how much it hurt you to kill for no reason. You didn’t really want to fight until you saw me there and felt the
need to save me. The way I see it, Eric, you’re not driven to kill because you want to, but because you have to. It’s in your nature to save the lives of good people. I find it hard to believe that Samantha, even as your ex-wife, would want you to suffer.” She moved closer and took my hand. “What happened to her wasn’t your fault, Eric, and torturing yourself won’t change the past. But you can change what happens right now.”
“I just don’t know what to do, Jessica. If I go, if I want to have any chance to save her, I know what I’ll have to do, what I’ll have to become again, and it scares the absolute hell out of me.”
“That’s what makes you a good man, Eric. If it were easy for you to kill, I’d worry. The fact that you have doubt…that’s the morality you’ve always struggled with. Hold onto that! But don’t let it stop you from being who you are, not for a second. You’re a lot of things, Eric; Survivor, fighter, father, lover—”
“Lover? Come on—” She cut me off with a hard look.
“The point is,” she gestured out the window, “right now she needs the guy that led a two-man assault on a courthouse and stabbed a feral in the head with a broken bone.”
I’d like to say I gave it a lot of thought, but, again, I knew I was right where I needed to be, regardless of the path it might lead down. Reaching my conclusion, I nodded to Jessica.
“Good, because I found this in there, along with your backpack, and I figured you might want to take it out for another spin.” She placed the grip of my Sig in my palm and the cold steel felt satisfyingly familiar, as did the rush of anticipation in my veins.
“You’re not gonna let me talk you out of going in, are you?” She laughed and patted my shoulder.
“Not a chance, buddy. I’ve left you alone twice, and neither time ended well. Besides, I was there in the prison. If you have to go back down that road, we go together, so I’m coming.”
A Broken World (Book 2): Shattered Paradise Page 22
