by Mary Rundle
“Squawk! I love cock, I love cock, squawk!”
His jaw dropping, Jackson stared at Logan. “Queenie is gay?”
“Kieran thinks so. All I know is his former owner was gay, so I assume that’s where he picked it up.”
“Holy sh… I mean, wow! So this is why you insisted he remained covered yesterday when you came home?” asked Jackson.
“Uh, huh. With Daniel talking now, I wasn’t going to risk it. Queenie has quite a vocabulary…and not the kind you want Daniel to learn.”
“Squawk! Where’s my daddy, where’s my daddy, squawk!”
“Oh my gods, he’s hilarious!” Jackson said, cracking up. “Does he say anything…normal?”
“Not that I’ve heard. I’m trying to teach him ‘polly wants a cracker’ but…”
“Squawk! Polly wants a cock, polly wants a cock, squawk!”
Now in stitches, Jackson collapsed onto the couch. “Queenie has a one-track mind,” he finally got out between peals of laughter.
Joining his brother on the couch, Logan chuckled. “He really does. Kieran loves him and wants to find him a mate but I’m not sure I’m ready for two Queenies yet.”
Studying his brother, Jackson found what he was looking for. “You’re happy.”
Returning his brother’s stare, Logan nodded. “I am.”
“Kieran?”
“Absolutely. In spite of my problems, faults, issues…whatever you want to call them, he sees me for who I really am, and he loves me with his whole being. How can I not be happy when I have someone like that in my life? Every day he gives me his joy of living, his unwavering support and trust…and his love…so pure…sometimes I pinch myself just to make sure he’s not a dream.”
Nodding, Jackson said, “I owe him a lot.”
“What do you mean?” asked Logan.
“He gave me back my brother, the one I knew was deep inside you, the one I missed so very much.”
Running a hand over his face, Logan hid his emotions at hearing his brother’s words, finally understanding how hard his morose behavior had been for Jackson to handle. Looking at his brother, he said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you…it was the only way I could cope with our father and, by the time he died, it was too late for me to change.”
“I knew that…it’s why I never pushed you.”
“I appreciated that more than you know.” Inhaling, then slowly letting his breath out, Logan grinned, “Now since we’re done with true confessions, is there something you want?”
~/~/~/~/~
Carson stared at his office door after Jackson left. Still holding his pencil, his knuckles turned white as the strength of his grip grew. When the pencil finally lost the battle, the snap sounded like the crack of a bullwhip, bringing him back to unwelcomed reality.
He couldn’t believe it. Once more, the Fates had passed him over, choosing Hunter, instead, to receive a mate. And if that wasn’t enough, now his brother was going to tell his cousin all their secrets. Staring at the broken pencil in his hand, he finally faced the truth he’d been hiding from—he wasn’t deemed good enough by the Fates to deserve a mate. It was the one thing he’d longed for and prepared for his whole life—to become the very best Alpha for his mate.
Ever since Jackson found Steel, Carson had been sitting on the sidelines, watching each of his brothers find their mates, which was hard enough, but now it seemed he was doomed to keep sitting on the bench while his cousins found theirs. I can’t do it. The Fates are asking too much of me. Why would they do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve it? Although Carson knew Fated Mates weren’t guaranteed, still, he never thought it would be his lot not to have one. From his early childhood years on, he’d dreamt of finding his mate—someone who would love him despite whatever shortcomings he might have.
He rose from his chair and began to pace around the room, remembering the hours spent listening to his father pontificate about what a good Alpha should be. Ha! What a fucking waste of time! Though he’d eventually rejected most of his father’s ideas as rubbish, still, he thought at least some of them might come in handy when he met his mate, and he certainly expected to.
Fuck! I fucking wasted all that time. I should have spent it starting my business. Who knows where I would be by now? But no, I listened to all that bullshit because I wanted to be a good mate more than I wanted anything else.
Whatever he’d done to earn the ire of the Fates was a mystery to him, but even if he knew, Carson wasn’t sure how, or even if, he could change their minds. No sense in wishing for something I can’t have. Pacing back and forth, Carson swallowed his bitterness. What will be, will be. His mother’s words, spoken so often to him as a child, came to mind.
Though confused by those words then, they now became clear to him; it was time to find a new direction, one that didn’t include a mate. Sorting through his emotions, one thing was certain—he had to leave home. Though he’d miss his brothers, Carson would never be able to handle the disappointment of others in the pack finding mates while he was always being passed by.
Once that decision was made, two questions came to mind—where should he go and what could he do. Immediately Dire Enterprises crossed his mind, bringing the first smile to his face since Jackson had appeared in his office. I do have a track record with them, and they have offices all over the world. He made a mental note to speak to Steel about possible job openings, realizing he really didn’t care where he went, as long as it was far enough away from the daily reminders that he was not worthy of a mate.
Satisfied with his new plan, Carson turned his attention back to a file he needed to work on. Steel had scheduled a meeting tomorrow at which Carson would discuss the current status of the grant program with Maximus and Slate. He’d be working late tonight, making sure each application was in order so as to impress Steel and the others tomorrow—especially considering what he was going to ask them.
Heading to his desk, a tidal wave of grief engulfed him; all he could see was the bleakness of his future. Feeling his legs buckling, he grabbed for the back of a chair but, missing, crumbled to the floor. The enormity of his decision to leave filled his mind, pushing out the last fragment of hope that someday he’d be blessed with a mate, someone by his side—someone he could love, protect and take care of the way an Alpha was supposed to. As he came to terms with the future loneliness he faced, he became desperate for a place of refuge. Crawling over to a dark corner of the room, he leaned his back against the wall, drawing his knees to his chest.
Then Carson began to cry, unable to stem the flood of tears sweeping his dreams away.
Chapter 18
Pawing through his hoard, Fionn searched for a gift to give his mate, one that would show Hunter how valuable he was to him. Rummaging through pile after pile, he had yet to find the right one. Quickly discarding gold coins as too common, he thought briefly about some gold bars or jewelry, but they weren’t much better. Tossing aside solid gold crowns, boxes and swords—all bedecked with precious gems—Fionn paused, frustrated that his dragon had rejected all as not worthy. Glancing around, he spied a pile of ancient statues. Scrambling over to them, he chose the one his dragon picked. Fionn held it in the palm of his hand, marveling at its beauty, knowing his dragon was right— it was the perfect gift.
Flopping onto his makeshift bed, Fionn picked up the sketches he’d drawn of his mate, admiring at the strength contained in his face, the eyes that seemed to follow Fionn, and the beautiful mouth, reflecting the sadness his mate was trying to hide from the world. That spoke to Fionn more than anything; he knew what it felt like. Lightly tracing his finger over his mate’s sensuous lips, Fionn wondered how it would feel when they met his.
A thrill went through him, settling in his cock, forcing his hand down to it. Hot, hard and leaking, it wanted his mate’s lips around it, sucking and licking until it erupted. Rubbing it, he closed his eyes, hearing his dragon roar, calling to his mate’s wolf and Fionn felt the bond between them being
forged in dragon fire binding them together. His dragon arched his back, spreading his wings in the centuries-old mating dance, calling to his mate. Fionn’s need built, filling his body, demanding his mate’s touch.
Writhing as fire raced through his veins, Fionn gasped for air; his dragon was preparing him for the claiming. Minutes or hours—he wasn’t sure how long the fire lasted—his dragon teased him, played with him, igniting Fionn’s desire, forcing a succession of orgasms, each one lifting him higher toward the heavens. When his dragon finally retreated, Fionn found himself floating and basking in a golden glow before falling into a deep sleep.
It was time to go home.
~/~/~/~/~
Colton felt it, but before he could call Cody, his brother called him. Answering his phone, he asked, “Did you feel it? He needs us.”
“I know. I’m on my way.”
“He wants to leave,” Colton said. “Why? What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Cody replied, “I’m at his office.”
“Call me if you need me!”
“Will do.” Slipping his phone into his pocket, Cody placed his hand on Carson’s office door, pausing a moment before pushing it open. The room was empty. Frowning, he wondered where his brother was. Seeing an open file on Carson’s desk, he flipped through it, hoping for a clue. Finding none, he spun around and was just about to leave when he saw his brother hunched up on the floor in a dark corner of the room. Cody moved quickly and sat down beside him, drawing Carson into his arms, holding him tight.
~/~/~/~/~
Opening the door to the motorhome, Mac stuck his head in, calling, “Hunt?”
Hunter glanced at his brother over Mason’s shoulder. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“Good,” said Mac, clambering up the steps. After Maximus informed him Ian and Jackson agreed to him serving as the pack’s temporary doctor, it was time to tell Hunter. Sliding in next to Mason, he asked, “Where are Sawyer and Quin?”
“Last I knew, Sawyer was beating Zane in Rogue Wolf and Quin is doing something with Theo and Norm,” replied Hunter.
“In his bedroom?” Mac asked, jerking his head to the back of the motorhome.
“No, he’s in the pack house,” replied Mason.
“Quin? Really? Wow, that’s good to hear,” Mac said. “But I have to admit, I never would have guessed it would be bear shifters who’d bring our brother out of his shell.”
“Indeed,” Hunt chuckled. “So, why were you looking for me?”
“Uhmm…remember the job I accepted in New York?” asked Mac. After seeing Hunter’s nod, he continued, “Well, I found out yesterday that it’s not actually in New York City.”
“Okay, where is it?” asked Hunter.
“Here.”
“Here, where?” asked Mason.
“Here, with the Blackwood Pack…as their doctor…at least temporarily. Ian is pregnant and I’ll be filling in for him,” Mac said.
Hunter frowned. “You found this out yesterday and you didn’t think to tell me?”
“How come you didn’t know before yesterday?” asked Mason.
“Because all they said when I joined Frontline Doctors was one of their doctors was pregnant, so I’d be filling in for him during his paternity leave. All they told me was who I would be taking over for… a male omega by the name of Dr. Ian Wallace…but I never knew he was a member of Jackson’s pack.”
“He doesn’t like you,” growled Hunter.
Mac smiled. “According to Maximus, he’s changed his mind.”
“Who the fuck is Maximus?” asked Mason.
“He owns Dire Enterprises. Their medical division founded Frontline Doctors to help bring medical services to underserved shifter communities,” Mac explained.
“Why is it I always feel like I’m missing something?” Mason asked, shaking his head. “Let’s try this again. How does the Chairman of Dire Enterprises know Ian who, according to you, is just one of a bunch of Frontline Doctors?”
“Wait…you spoke to Maximus?” asked Hunter.
“Well, to be accurate, I met with him.”
“See there you go again…not making any sense,” Mason said. “When and where did this meeting take place?”
“In the pack house…just now. That’s why I was looking for you.”
“What is Dire Enterprises’ Chairman doing at the Blackwood Pack house?” asked Mason.
“He lives here along with his wife and two sons.”
“Mac, what the fuck is it with you? Why are you making me drag this out of you, piece by piece?” growled Hunter. “Who are his sons and why are they living here?”
Grinning at his brother’s frustration, Mac said, “I’m just relishing the one time I know something more about your world than you do.”
“Mac…”
“Okay, okay. Chill out. Jackson’s mate Steel is the CEO of Dire Enterprises and his brother Slate, is the COO,” Mac smirked. “Our cousin, Dakota, is Slate’s mate.”
“Oh, shit!” Hunter stared at Mason. Then he buried his face in his hands, mentally kicking himself for not having done further research. He and Mason had spent a year putting together a business plan which they’d submitted a couple of months ago, proposing their company, Beowulf Trust handle all Dire Enterprises’ investments worldwide. Admittedly, it was an audacious move, but one he and Mason agreed they could handle. Groaning, he thought back to breakfast and his conversation with Steel. How fucking stupid can I be? Of course he was familiar with the Valentin family…maybe ‘familiar’ wasn’t quite the right word…anyone in his field knew the name and yet at breakfast he never made the connection. Fuckingbedamned! I would have if I’d bothered to ask him what he did. All that work, wasted because his mind was focused on his mate…a mate who obviously didn’t want him. Can’t blame him…who wants someone who blows an opportunity because I didn’t do my homework.
“Hunter? Hey, you okay?” asked Mac, worried after listening to his brother’s groans.
“Hunt, it’s okay,” Mason said.
Slapping the table hard with his hands, Hunter’s eyes narrowed as he looked at his brother. “No, you’re wrong Mase. It is not okay. I fucked up big time. A fucking year of work…wasted…all because I couldn’t keep my head on straight. Now, how am I supposed to support my mate? He has a hoard…a fucking hoard! Fionn can probably buy anything he wants and what the fuck do I have to offer? If Dire Enterprises even gave us a tenth of their investments to manage, I’d have felt like we were in pig-shit heaven. But now…did you know Steel asked me at breakfast what I did, and I never made the connection? He fucking knew! But me…no I sat there like a fucking clueless asshole, pining for my mate…someone who fled from me. And can you blame him?” Taking a deep breath, Hunter lowered his voice. “No, Mase, no matter how you look at this, it is not okay.”
Mac stared at his brother, then shifted his gaze to Mason. “Hunt has a mate?”
“Had! I had a mate!” snapped Hunter.
“Yes,” Mason said. “Hunt’s mate is a member of Jackson’s pack.”
“Who is he?” asked Mac.
“Fionn! A fucking dragon!” Hunter snarled. “A mate who has a humongous cave filled with gold!”
“When did this happen?” Mac asked Mason, ignoring Hunter. “Did he know his mate was here?”
“No, Hunt found out yesterday when we arrived,” replied Mason.
“Then why is he claiming he had a mate?” asked Mac.
“Because he’s upset right now. Fionn is his mate,” Mason said.
“And Fionn has a hoard?”
Nodding, Mason said, “Hunt’s wolf is going a little crazy because Fionn took off for his hoard, but he’ll be back.”
“Will you two assholes stop talking as if I’m not here?” Hunter shouted.
“Yup, as soon as you stop being a snarlpuss,” Mac said.
Laughing, Mason asked, “Where did you get that word from?”
“Snarlpuss?” Mac asked, grinning. “When I was doing my pediatric
rotation, I heard a nurse use it with a pup who was throwing a temper tantrum.”
“Hunt, listen to me,” Mason said. “Whether we make a deal with Dire Enterprises or not, won’t matter diddly to Fionn. From everything you told me, he needs love more than anything else and that, my brother, you have an abundant supply of. Luckily for you, it’s the one thing no amount of money can buy.”
~/~/~/~/~
Cody held his brother until Carson’s tears abated, not exactly sure what had triggered their triplet mind link, but his brother’s absolute feeling of desolation had raised an alarm. Quickly handing the twins over to Dylon, he’d called Colton, while rushing to Carson’s office. Now, with his brother in his arms, he asked, “Hey, are you okay now?”
Wiping the lingering wetness from his face, Carson nodded, embarrassed his brother had witnessed him ‘losing it’. “Yeah, thanks.”
“What’s the problem, Carsy?” asked Cody, using the nickname Dakota gave Carson when he was a toddler. “Is it about Mom?”
“Maybe, in a way…” Carson said, finding it easier to talk about that instead of his failure as an Alpha. “I mean, I’m all confused about it. How fucked up is that? I should be jumping for joy and yet I’m scared shitless. What if she never wakes up? Or what happens if she wakes up but isn’t the mom I remember? Or what am I supposed to do if she wakes up and doesn’t know who I am?” Shaking his head, he felt more tears well up in his eyes. Roughly dashing them away with his hand, he continued, “My mind keeps going over all the possibilities…like what if she wakes up and doesn’t want to live anymore because some of her pups didn’t survive. Or what if she blames me for surviving when my younger brothers and sisters didn’t. Or what if she…”
“Stop!” Cody said. “Look, the possibilities are endless, but there isn’t any way of knowing which one it will be. All we can do is hope everything will turn out all right. I know it isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the only choice we have at this time. Maybe tomorrow, after Ian reviews her test results, he’ll have some news that’ll give us more information.”
