by Scott, Kylie
Aside from the spunk on my abdomen, I could easily just sit back and snooze. Something I never do. Naps are a luxury I’ve never been afforded. Though this quarantine is teaching me to appreciate so many things I took for granted before. Like being able to go for a run. Lifting weights with my brethren. Seeing a movie. Going to the grocery store. And the most important, being able to hold and comfort the woman I’m obsessed with.
Sadie smiles, sits up from her spot on her couch, and puts her ribbed tank back on. After she taught me more yoga on the balcony, we agreed on a movie. The second we got settled, I told her to take her top off. She didn’t so much as hesitate. We went at it fast and furious. She didn’t even take her pants off, just slipped her hand beneath the waistband. One hand on her lush tit, the other between her thighs. It was beautiful.
“Ready to binge watch the Twilight saga?” She lifts a bottle of water to her mouth and takes a long drink.
I glance down at the mess I’ve made. “Babe, I’m gonna need a quick shower.”
She grins. “That concept has possibilities. You could take the laptop with you; I could watch the Evan Skin-a-Max channel for my viewing pleasure.”
I shake my head. “I’ve created a sex monster.”
She shrugs. “Nah, I’ve always had a huge libido. I write erotic romance for a living. I like sex. Sex is good. Sex with you is awesome. Why not have it regularly?”
“Good to know…in exactly three and a half days.”
“Oh, are you keeping track?” she teases.
“You know I am. Better yet, I know you are too. You want a piece of this bod as much as I want all over yours.”
She purses her pretty pink lips. “Hmm. True.”
I grin. “Let me hose down and grab a beer and some snacks. I’m feeling like loafing with my woman today.”
“You’re the perfect man. And I’ve got lots of snacks. What were you thinking? No!” She holds her hands up. “Let me surprise you! I’ll make you a smorgasbord!”
I chuckle and stand up, not bothering to cover my junk or the mess I made in her honor. “All right. Try and put something healthy in there, yeah?”
She frowns and her entire face squishes up as though she’s smelling something putrid. “Um…healthy? Huh.”
Laughing I shake my head and leave the laptop where it is. “I’ll let you think on that, princess. Be back in ten.”
I rush through the process of showering off a great afternoon delight and tug on a pair of sweatpants and a red T-shirt. Once I’ve donned a pair of socks, I pad back into the living room and head for the kitchen. I snag two cans of beer and the fresh cucumbers I already peeled and cut along with the homemade hummus I made. Tagging my loot, I bring it back to the table and set it down.
“Check your door!” I hear her holler but don’t see her face on the video screen.
This girl. I smile and go to my door to see the offering she left me.
Oh no, she didn’t.
Grabbing the plate, I bring the lot back to the couch and sit my ass down. When I get there, she’s got a clear bubbly drink in hand with a lime wedge shoved inside it.
“Soda, lime, and vodka. My favorite.”
“Baby, what the fuck is this?” I lift up the plate.
She sits cross-legged on the couch and puts her own plate on her lap. “Okay, the square shapes are Triscuits with Cheez Whiz on top. You know, cheese…healthy.” She beams while explaining. “Those brown things are dark chocolate-covered almonds. I know, I know. So good for you!” There is honest to God pride in her tone and I can’t help sucking my lips between my teeth and letting her carry on with her joy. “Then of course, the pièce de résistance…the hunks of salami.”
“What’s in the center of them?”
She positively exudes excitement. Her cheeks pink up and her eyes are a stunning blue and shimmering beautifully. “Cream cheese and pepperoncini! It’s a veggie! Look at me. Feeding my man the good stuff. Keepin’ that body fit and toned! Mmm hmm.” She wiggles around happy as a clam.
I do not have the heart to tell her that none of this is exactly healthy, but it’s not all candy and that’s a plus. “Thank you, baby. This is wonderful. Though I draw the line at eating canned cheese.”
She frowns. “Really? That’s the best part!”
I laugh and point at the TV. “What channel is this vampire story on?”
“Twelve.”
We both turn on the TV and get to the right channel.
“Ohh we are right on time! It’s just the opening sequence. Awesome! I can’t wait to find out if you’re Team Edward or Team Jacob. I’m firmly in the Team Edward camp but I can see the appeal of Jacob. I mean a wolf-shifter is all super alpha and hot. I bet you’d make a great shifter.”
“Are you for real? A wolf shifter? I thought we were watching vampires?”
“We are. There are all kinds of paranormal things happening in the movies. The books are even better, but I think you’ll find Bella to be sexy and sweet. You seem like you enjoy the girl-next-door types.”
That has me cracking up. “I like curvy, gorgeous blondes who eat garbage, speak their minds, and make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.” I lift up the rolled bit of salami.
“Hmm, and I thought you liked me for my awesome phone and video sex skills. I slay at that!” She lifts her chin.
“Baby, you are unlike any woman I’ve ever known. Everything I learn just makes me like you more. Now eat your fake cheese and tell me why we’re watching children in high school. I thought you said this was a romance with a lot of action?”
“Oh, it is! Just, you know, pretend they’re in college. That’s what I do.”
I laugh. “They’re clearly in high school, babe.”
“The actors are older though. Anyway, they get out of school soonish. Just pay attention.”
For the next two hours I get sucked right into her vampire-shifter world. By the time movie one ends I’m fired up to watch the second but hungry as a horse.
“Let’s pause the TV and I’ll make us some dinner, cool?”
“I could eat.”
I lift up the laptop and bring it to the kitchen. “Babe, you can always eat because you survive off sugar and snacks that go in the system and have no staying power. Let the master show you how it’s done.”
“Ooh that sounds fun. I’ll just watch you cook while I drink.”
I chuckle while pulling out some ground turkey.
“What’s that?”
“Ground turkey. For tacos.”
She makes a face. “I thought you use ground beef for tacos.”
“Not as good for you as ground turkey, but I promise it tastes the same.”
“I’ll give anything a whirl as long as I didn’t have to make it. What else?”
I show her the seasonings I use and get the meat simmering while I cut up the tomatoes, green leaf lettuce, and avocado. “I’ve got a light sour cream and a low-fat cheese to go with it.”
“Low-fat cheese. Does not compute, Sparky.”
“It’s good. You’ll not be able to taste the difference.”
“Uh huh.” She doesn’t sound convinced. “And what about that green stuff you got there.” She points to the counter.
“Avocado and lettuce.”
“Lettuce is practically see-through. That is dark green. Bleh.” She makes a gag face.
“Baby, you’re eating lettuce. Jesus. How have you survived before me?”
“What can I say? My body knows what it likes, and it isn’t green in color.” She blinks her lashes prettily as if that’s going to get me off her case.
“You’re eating it or I won’t have video sex with you again.”
Her mouth drops open. “That’s torturing yourself as much as it’s torturing me. And totally unfair. You can’t use sex as a tool to get me to eat healthier!”
I grab a red pepper and start cutting it up. “I can and I will. I want you alive for a long, long time. Besides, what will happen when you’re carrying
my baller babies? A fetus can’t survive on candy alone.”
“Pshaw! If you take away all my candy you won’t be getting any sweet time from me in order to get me pregnant in the first place. Ha! So there!” She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest.
“Are we honestly bickering about future babies and fetuses we haven’t even created yet?”
“You bet your fine ass we are. If this body is going to carry your giant children—because let’s be truthful, you’re massive. Hot, good looking, and panty-dropping sexy, but you are huge! That’s a con when considering future progeny. So you should be thanking me for even considering opening my womb up for business. Which means treats are life, and you will let me have as many of them as I want!”
“Fine, woman! Eat all the candy you want!” I fire back caving in.
A full minute goes by of us looking at one another with mock glares. Then I burst out into raucous laughter. I can’t stop. The entire scenario is fucking hilarious and I’m so damn thankful I have a woman in my life who’s willing to go head to head with me on any little thing that matters to her.
Before long she’s laughing right along with me. “Man, being hangry makes me a whacko!” She admits with a shy note to her voice.
“You don’t have to tell me, lady. I just watched you plead your argument and win your case all in one breath! Lesson learned. You do not have to tell me twice. I’ll stay five feet from your candy shelf at all times. Swear.” I cross my heart in a peace offering.
“That’s right, buster! And don’t you forget it. I’ll defend my candy intake to the death! Now when are those tacos gonna be done? Your woman is starving!”
“All right, all right. Coming right up.” I finish plating two fully loaded tacos. I load up four tacos for myself and set those on the coffee table before taking her plate to her door.
She’s gone when I come back. Probably watched me from her peephole.
When she re-enters the screen, she’s got a taco already half in the air going toward her mouth.
“Baby, you didn’t wait for me again,” I say like a wounded child.
She shrugs. “Snooze you lose.” She mumbles around a mouth full of food.
“What am I gonna do with you?”
“Feed me. Water me. Sex me?” she offers, quite helpfully.
“Deal.”
“And treat me with care.” She finishes on a whisper that sounds a lot like a plea.
I look into her soulful blue eyes. “I will, Sadie. With everything inside me. I will treat you with care.”
She smiles and it lights up my life.
I lift up the taco and salute her. “To Team Edward.”
That has her fist pumping the air wildly. “Yaaaaaasssss! To Team Edward. Okay, ready…” We both hold up our TV remotes. “Go!” We hit the un-pause button at the same time, so the movie doesn’t echo through both our speakers.
It works.
A good meal, a sort-of-interesting movie, and an amazing woman at my side.
I couldn’t ask for more.
* * *
SADIE
I’ve been putting off sitting in front of my computer today for a good reason beyond just needing a break. The alerts on my cell were bad enough. First up is some hate mail from a reader telling me I write pornography. She goes on to complain about my characters swearing so often. English is apparently a beautiful, expressive language and I’m lazy and foul-mouthed and hell-bent on cheapening the written word. Paper shouldn’t be wasted on my disgusting stories and my family is probably hideously embarrassed by my lurid attempts at literature.
Good to know.
Fuck me. People.
Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you should share it. And if you want to put your thoughts about a book out there, that’s why reviews were invented. But no. Someone has to dump it on your doorstep, throw it in your face. I’m not chocolate. I was never going to make everyone happy. Readers might like one book and hate another. Art is subjective. There are so many aspects about writing a book and having another person read it beyond my control. What my muse is willing to supply me with. What mood the reader was in the day they happened upon my story. The list is endless. Sending me hate-filled missives, however, is just trash behavior. I’ll defend the romance community ’til the day I die. So many readers have been more than kind and supportive of me. But the Internet has made it too easy to be an asshole.
I delete the e-mail and fetch myself a glass and a bottle of wine. It just feels like one of those nights. Maybe I’m about to get my period. It would figure.
Next up, confirmation that every book signing for the summer has been canceled. It’s like a hit to the gut. And I get it. Of course I do. It had to happen. But I earn a decent chunk of my income through signed book sales. People will still buy e-books, but people are also really distracted right now. And who can blame them? Life as we know it just went out the window.
At any rate, time to start reviewing my spending to see where the business can pick up the slack and keep me afloat. I need food, a place to live, electricity, water, and so on. My books need to be edited, proofread, and formatted. Covers need to be made and new releases need to be promoted. Everything else is pretty much on hold for now. Essentials only. No new pretties. And the new couch I was saving up for…that money can go toward the bills.
Also, I need to write more. I need to get my ass into gear and boost my productivity. Only staying inspired during the stress and panic of a pandemic is hard as all hell. Even my new friend/boyfriend can only inspire me so much. Keeping your chin up in times of duress is a bitch. The positives—I believe in romance and hope and love. I believe we’re going to get through this. For sure, though, there are dark days ahead. Publishing seems to have been in a state of flux for the last decade or so, and things aren’t settling down anytime soon.
I down a mouthful of wine and take a deep breath. At least I’m not going through this totally alone. So many people must be looking at months of lockdown with no comfort in sight. Layoffs, unemployment, and seriously hard times. I’m lucky. Evan’s right next door. Dad is feeling better and Mom is just fine. Things could definitely be worse. As someone much wiser than me once said, I know everything happens for a reason. But what the fuck?
I try not to get hung up staring at the news, spending endless hours getting updates on the headlines and latest figures, but things are damn scary in Los Angeles and New York City. Hell, they’re scary all over the country. The lack of ventilators and personal protective equipment rip my heart in two. Pictures from Italy of hospitals struggling to help the sick. The burial pits in Iran, so large they’re visible from space. It’s all so terrifying and heartbreaking. Hard to make sense of it all.
It wasn’t that long ago that everything was normal and boring. How the hell did we get here? Then there are the people ignoring the warnings and still having get-togethers. I’d dearly love to rage-scream at them. From six feet away, of course. How the hell can people be so careless?
Times like these are a trial, all right. Maybe this was what it felt like to be alive during World War II. Or to send your son off to Vietnam, not knowing if you’d ever see him again. Living with this weight on your soul constantly threatening to drag you down. Humanity seems both stronger and more fragile than I ever imagined. And I mean, I think I’m healthy. Evan might have something to say about my diet, but that could be worse. This virus, however, seems to be taking people from all age groups. No one is completely safe. We can all only do our best.
Amidst all of this, however, there are glimpses of hope. Lights are still shining out there, showing us the way. People helping their elderly neighbors. Musicians putting on impromptu performances on balconies. Whole cities cheering and clapping for healthcare workers. Then there are the signs that even love will find a way. A boy sending messages to a girl in a neighboring building by drone. A husband standing outside his wife’s nursing center holding a sign and balloons to celebrate their sixty-seventh anniversary.<
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Love and life will persevere. It has to.
In the meantime, I have wine.
Feeling morose and missing my parents, I pull out my cell phone and give them a call. Her voice is an instant balm to my battered soul right now.
“Mom, hey.”
“Sadie? Are you okay? It’s quarter to ten.”
“But you were still awake, right?” I ask, because she doesn’t sound sleepy. Slightly put out perhaps, but not sleepy. “I didn’t realize it was after nine there already. Sorry.”
“Your father and I were just reading in bed. How are you, sweetheart?”
Glass of wine in hand, I sit back in my seat, sock-covered feet up on my desk. Because comfort and liquid refreshments are important. “Fine. Good. Yeah. I was just watching a video about how to properly clean your groceries and wanted to make sure you were aware that you needed to be doing that.”
A pause. “And this couldn’t wait until the morning?”
“It’s important.”
Mom sighs. “I wasn’t aware of it, Sadie. But rest assured, I’ll look up the information tomorrow and see what they’re advising.”
“I’ll e-mail it to you,” I offer. Anything to distract me from the world and the book I should be writing.
“All right, dear.”
“It’s really important that we start doing this now, okay? How’s Dad?”
“Much better. The book of crosswords you sent is giving him a headache, but the flu seems to be just about gone. He’s still resting and taking it easy, though.”
“Good. That’s good.” I smile even though she can’t see me. “I have something to tell you. Something important.”
“Besides the need to bleach the groceries?”
“You don’t bleach them, Mom. You wipe everything down with a disinfectant wipe. Like Clorox or whatever you’ve got. Even the cardboard because the virus can live on all sorts of surfaces for longer than you’d think.”
“Understood,” she says. “So what’s so important that you have to call us at this hour?”
