by Nerys Leigh
Louisa’s heart dropped at the sight of her name in her mother’s flowing script.
Adam’s smile faded. “Is this not what you’ve been hoping for?”
“Uh, yes, this is it. Thank you.”
He ducked his head to look into her eyes. “Is everything all right?”
She picked up the letter from her parents and stared at it. “I don’t know yet.”
~ ~ ~
When she got back to the house Louisa left the mail for Pastor Jones on the kitchen table and went straight to her bedroom, closing the door.
Sitting on the bed, she placed the letter on the cover in front of her and stared at it. And stared at it. And stared at it.
She didn’t know how long she sat like that, drumming up the courage to open it. One question kept playing over and over in her mind – what would she do if they told her to return to New York?
“I’m old enough to make my own decisions,” she murmured to herself, echoing Mrs Jones’ words from the night before.
She knew the truth of it, and yet that knowledge didn’t reach her heart. She didn’t feel old enough. She felt like a child lost in a sea of indecision, not knowing which way to turn. Leaving the safety of her mother and father’s will was a terrifying prospect. Could she truly make it on her own?
“What do I do, Lord?”
I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
The verse came into her mind which was strange because, even though she’d been reading her Bible more over the past two weeks, she still barely knew it and couldn’t remember reading that one anyway. Was it confirmation that she should follow her own desires? But how did she know her desires were God’s will? How could she know what to do if she wanted one thing, her parents wanted another, and she had no idea what God wanted?
Shaking her head, she thumped both fists into the bed at her sides, a squeak of frustration escaping. All this second guessing and uncertainty was ridiculous.
Grabbing up the envelope, she tore it open, pulled out the letter inside, and unfolded the sheet of paper.
Dearest Louisa,
Your father and I are very glad to hear you have arrived safely. Both of us are well, as are your sisters.
I was shocked to hear of your experience with Mr Johnson. How awful of him to deliberately conceal his infirmity from you until you arrived. And what a relief that he didn’t expect you to marry him straight away. I hope it hasn’t been too much of a chore to spend all this time there.
Your description of the town of Green Hill Creek is also troubling. You are correct, it is most certainly not what we had imagined when we selected him as a suitable husband. I understand that you do not wish to cause him any further hardship and I’m proud of you for being so thoughtful and kind. But your future is at stake and no one could blame you for putting your needs first. Mr Johnson, through no fault of his own, is clearly not a man who will suit you well.
By the time you receive this letter you should have fulfilled your obligation to stay for two weeks and can ask him to provide you with passage home without concern for not having done what he asked. I have started searching for a more suitable candidate and have already found a lawyer in Denver who seems far more promising. It is a pity we didn’t find him before you left for California.
I look forward to having you home, Louisa. Your sisters and I have missed having you here. We will have a wonderful window shopping trip on your return!
Love,
Mother.
Louisa lowered the letter to the bed, staring numbly at the pile of travel trunks heaped in the corner of the room.
When the pain in her heart finally became too much, she collapsed onto the pillows and burst into tears.
Chapter 23
Louisa was outside the bank when Jesse finished work that afternoon.
She was watching a woman with two small children talking to Mr Graves, the owner of the greengrocer across the street, and it seemed that sadness clouded her face. But then she saw him and smiled and he wasn’t sure if he’d imagined her melancholy.
He wheeled up to her. “After a long day of doing my best to avoid Ransom, seeing you waiting for me is like the sun coming out of the clouds after a thunderstorm. That’s assuming you are waiting for me.”
She craned her neck as if searching for something along the street. “Well, I was waiting for my other beau, but he’s late so I’ll go with you instead.”
Smiling, he took a quick look around to check no one was watching them then grasped her hand and kissed the back. What he really wanted to do was pull her into his lap and greet her properly, but that would have to wait until they got back to his house.
“Could we go to the general store on the way home?” she said as they began walking. “I didn’t want to miss you and I didn’t have time before. Lizzy and Sara and I went to visit Jo today and I only got back just now.”
“Sure we can. How’s Jo?”
“Still adjusting to being here, I think. It doesn’t help that she’s so far out of town and that Gabriel spends so much time at his placer mine. Although she didn’t seem bothered by that. She didn’t say as much, but I think she’s relieved.”
“Relieved that he’s not around?”
She nodded slowly. “I don’t think she likes him much. I’m worried about her.”
“Do you think he’s mistreating her?”
“Oh no, I don’t think Jo would put up with that. She’s very independent and tough. It’s just...” She sighed and shrugged. “I suppose I want all my friends to be as happy with their husbands as I am with you.”
He didn’t say anything for a few moments, carefully formulating his reply. “You’re happy with me?”
She turned her gaze to him. “Very. I know I’m having trouble with what my parents want me to do, but it’s not because I’m unhappy with you. That couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He was extremely glad. He’d have been more glad to hear her say she was staying, but after the previous day he knew better than to press the issue. She would work through it at her own pace. All he could do was wait and pray.
Looking at the street ahead of them, he stopped abruptly.
Louisa walked a couple more paces before she realised he was no longer at her side. “What’s wrong?”
“That’s him.”
She followed his gaze along the road. “That’s who?”
“Those two men in front of the feed store, see them?”
She nodded.
“The one with dark hair is Lem, the man I saw talking to Ransom.” He wheeled back a little so he was hidden from their view by the corner of a building. The two men were a good fifty feet away and not looking in their direction, but it was hard to blend in when he was the only one around in a wheelchair.
Louisa moved back to join him. “That must be the man Rebecca and Peg talked about, the one with the scraggly beard?” She frowned, biting her lip. “Wait, he could be...”
“What?”
“Remember I told you about the man that turned up at Sara’s farm last week? The one who scared her?”
“I remember. You think that’s him?”
“It could be. I can’t be sure, but he looks just like she described him.” She stepped forward. “I’m going to get closer, see if I can hear what they’re talking about.”
Jesse’s heart hit his throat. “What?! No! What if they see you? They could be dangerous.”
“It won’t matter if they see me, they don’t know who I am. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.”
Before he could say anything to stop her, she was gone. Not that he thought anything he said would have stopped her. Her courage and determination were part of the reason he loved her, and he especially loved that she was doing it all for him. But that didn’t assuage his fear as she walked along the street towards the potentially dangerous men.
“It’s a good thing I’m young,” he muttered to himself, “because she’s going to take years off
my life.”
The closer she got to Lem and the man with the scraggly brown hair and beard, the higher Jesse’s heart rate rose. What if Ransom had told them about her? What if they were looking out for a beautiful, blue-eyed, auburn-haired woman who might be spying on them?
He tensed as she neared the two men, hands gripping his push rims, ready to explode from his hiding place and fly to her rescue if either of them so much as gestured in her direction.
She stopped within six feet of them, pretending to look in the window of the bakery. Neither man appeared to notice her. After a minute or so during which Jesse relaxed just enough that his knuckles returned to their natural colour, the bearded man glanced in her direction.
Jesse tensed again.
Leering disgustingly, scraggly beard spoke to her and Louisa spun around, her eyes wide. Glaring at him, she said something in return and marched into the bakery.
Jesse breathed out.
Lem burst into laughter, clapped scraggly beard on the shoulder, and strolled in the direction of the saloon.
Scraggly beard gave the bakery door a look, shook his head, and marched along the road in Jesse’s direction.
He immediately backed into the alley he was using for cover, waiting for the man to pass before coming out again. When the man was out of sight, he wheeled in the direction of the bakery. Louisa emerged as he reached the door and his eyes went to the paper bag she was holding.
“I needed an excuse to be in there,” she said. “Apple tart seemed an excellent excuse.”
He fell in beside her as she started in the direction of the general store. “Are you all right? What did he say to you?”
“Oh, just something I wouldn’t repeat in polite company. Or any company, for that matter.”
A flash of anger twisted Jesse’s gut. “I should have run him over and punched him.”
“Ooh, I would have liked to see that,” she said, smiling.
“What did you say to him? He didn’t seem too pleased, although Lem thought it was funny.”
“I told him that until he learned what soap is he would do better propositioning something he had a chance with, such as a mule with extremely low standards.”
Despite his lingering outrage, he smiled. “That’s my girl. Could you hear what they were talking about?”
“Ely, that’s what Lem called the other one, he said it was taking too long and he was sick of hanging around here. Lem said they almost had him where they wanted him and it wouldn’t be much longer before the big score came in. Ely said he wasn’t convinced it would work and Lem got annoyed and said he was welcome to leave. Ely backed down after that. I think Lem is in charge. Lem said he was going to have a talk with him tonight. Ely said it probably wouldn’t work and he was going to get a horse to replace his old nag, just in case he needed to run. That’s when he saw me.”
Jesse thought over the conversation she’d related. “Sounds like something’s going on, but without any names or specifics we don’t even know if Ransom’s involved.”
“He could be the ‘him’ they were talking about.”
“Could be, but right now that’s just a theory.”
She was quiet for a few more paces. “I have an idea.”
The way she said it made him nervous. “You do?”
“If Mr Ransom is who they were talking about, Lem said he was going to talk to him tonight. I think we should watch his house and see if Lem turns up.”
Jesse nodded slowly, thinking about it. “That’s a good idea. But you don’t have to come, I can do that by myself.”
She smiled as she looked at the ground in front of her. “I don’t have to, but I’m going to.”
“And I’m guessing there’s nothing I can do to persuade you otherwise?”
“Nope.”
He had to admit, sitting outside Ransom’s house in the dark would be a lot more pleasant if Louisa was there with him. “You just want to sneak out again, don’t you?”
“Oh, I do,” she said, her eyes shining with excitement. “But won’t we have to be there early, to make sure we don’t miss him?”
“I figure he won’t turn up before nine, at the earliest, if he doesn’t want to be seen.”
“Hmm. Pastor and Mrs Jones don’t usually go to bed before ten, but I could always say I’m tired and go earlier so I can sneak out while they’re still up.” She grinned. “That would be even more thrilling than sneaking out while they’re asleep. So much more danger of being caught.”
Attempting to look distressed, Jesse came to a halt at the door to Lamb’s General Store. “I’ve created a monster.”
She laughed and skirted around him. “By the way, what’s your favourite colour?”
“Uh, green, I guess. Why?”
She smiled back at him as she walked inside. “Because I’m going to pick out some material for a new dress. In green.”
He followed her in, pretty sure his heart had melted a little bit.
Chapter 24
Climbing through the bedroom window turned out to be a lot easier with Louisa’s dress not trailing on the ground behind her.
She dropped silently to the ground outside, pulled the window closed, and listened for any sign she’d been heard. Hearing nothing, she smiled and tiptoed around the side of the house.
It occurred to her that her love of doing something forbidden was somewhat childish, but she’d had a whole childhood of studiously not being childish. She had some catching up to do.
She saw Jesse’s silhouette as soon as she reached the front garden and hurried to join him on the street.
“All clear?” he whispered.
She glanced back. The parlour window curtains were lit from within where Mrs Jones was working on some needlepoint and Pastor Jones was reading. At least, that was what they’d been doing when she’d feigned tiredness and excused herself for bed. Or maybe, she suddenly thought, as soon as she’d left they had moved to the settee together and taken advantage of the time alone to get closer. Perhaps they were even in there kissing.
Did couples do that after thirty years of marriage? Louisa’s own parents had been married for twenty-four years and were on occasion affectionate, but she’d never seen them indulge in anything more than a brief kiss. But perhaps they saved that for private moments. If she had been married to Jesse for thirty years, would she be any less eager to spend time in his arms? Looking into his beautiful face shadowed in the darkness of a cloudy night, she couldn’t imagine so.
“All clear,” she whispered back.
They started along the road.
“You’re getting good at this sneaking out business,” he said.
“I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”
Rotherford Ransom’s house was close to the railroad station, on a quiet street near the edge of town. From Jesse’s description of the man, it was much as Louisa imagined it would be. Flagstones formed a narrow yard between the fence and the building, with no porch and not an inch of greenery in sight. Jesse had told her that Mr Ransom had never been married. From the austere appearance of his home, Louisa could have guessed it even without knowing.
They found a spot hidden by a stand of bushes and trees a little along the street from where they’d have a good view of the house and she looked around for a suitable patch of grass on which to settle.
“Louisa?”
She glanced back at Jesse’s whisper.
He patted his thighs and held out both hands.
“Won’t your legs get uncomfortable?”
“We’ll deal with that problem when it happens,” he replied, beckoning her in with his fingers.
She looked around. “But what if someone sees us?”
“I think the whole point of us being here is that no one can.”
She couldn’t fault his logic, nor could she deny that his lap was a far more comfortable prospect than the ground.
Shrugging off her awkwardness, she settled onto his lap, smiling when he wrapped his arms around her and kisse
d her temple.
Definitely a better place to sit than the ground.
They sat in silence, watching the house along the street and enjoying the simple pleasure of being close.
“Jesse?” she whispered after a while.
“Hmm?”
“Thank you for letting me do this with you.”
The curving of his lips was just visible in the darkness. “Pretty sure I didn’t have much of a choice.”
She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. “You could have stopped me coming but you didn’t, and you’ve let me help you even when you were afraid for my safety. You’ve given me the freedom to make my own decisions and I’m truly grateful for that.”
“You’re a smart, capable, strong human being. Even if we were married, I wouldn’t have the right to tell you what to do. All I want is for you to be just who you are.”
She considered his words. “You really mean that, don’t you? About wanting me just as I am?”
“Why would I want you to change? You’re perfect.”
She smiled against his shoulder. “I’m far from perfect.”
“That depends on your point of view,” he whispered into her hair. “To me, you are.”
She lifted her head to look into his face shadowed in the darkness and touched her palm to his cheek. “I think you’re perfect too.”
There was a long pause before he answered. “Even my legs?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Every part. I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Not one.”
He stared at her for a moment, then leaned forward and caught her lips in a kiss that stole her breath with its intensity. Her eyes fluttered closed and she pushed her fingers into his hair, her passion blossoming to match his. By the time they parted she was gasping for air and her heart was pounding so hard she felt sure it would betray their hiding place to anyone passing.
“Uh... we should... um...” Jesse took a deep breath, “...probably concentrate on watching the house.”
