by Lilly Mirren
Diana nodded. “I’m meeting someone… oh, there he is.”
She waved to Ben, who waved back, then made her way over to where he was sitting, at a small, square table near the back of the cafe under the twinkle lights that now sat dull in the hot sun. They came to life at night and turned the cafe into a wonderland that always made Diana feel as though anything could happen — that there was some kind of magic in the air. She’d loved that about the Emerald Cafe for as long as she could remember. Was proud of her friend for what she’d made of the place.
A lump lodged in her throat. She didn’t know what she’d do without Cindy in her life. She was the only person who’d always been there for Diana… except for Rupert, of course. He’d been her rock over the years, but Cindy had understood the grief she’d endured through the years of infertility. She’d been the shoulder Diana had cried on, she’d been the one who’d let Diana be part of every single one of her own children’s special days, celebrations, and milestones. It was something Diana had been forever grateful for. But now what would happen?
She pushed the fears from her mind and forced a smile to her face as she stood across from Ben. He was so handsome, the picture of her own father from what she’d seen of photos of him in his younger years. Her own memories of those years were as faded as the photographs themselves.
He stood as well, embraced her a little awkwardly, then they sat.
“I hope this is okay,” he said. “It looks really good, and when I asked at the Manor about somewhere to eat, this is what Emily suggested.”
Diana gave a brief nod. “Yes, it is very nice. My friend Cindy owns it.” Then she swallowed down the rest of what she wanted to say, afraid more would tumble out of her mouth than she was ready to reveal.
“Oh really? Wow, that’s great. So, what’s good here?” He reached for a menu and flipped it open.
“I love the grilled fish and Greek salad… it’s very fresh.”
He nodded. “That sounds delicious, but I think I’m going to go with the steak pie with chips.”
She chuckled. “It’s lovely too. The exact meal that Rupert goes for every time we come here.”
He closed the menu with a grin. “It’s too hard to pass up.”
The waitress took their orders while they chatted about the weather, the Manor, and how Emily was coping with running the place.
“She seems very nice. So, you said that you used to own it?” He leaned forward on his elbows, fists cupped together.
“Yes, only a few weeks ago actually. I’ve owned the Seaside Manor forever…” She sighed. “But it was time to move on. Rupert’s health hasn’t been great, and it was getting too much for me to manage on my own. We should’ve given it up years ago, really. But I didn’t want to sell it. Then, I had the idea of calling Emily to see if she wanted it.”
“Is she a friend of yours?”
Diana held her breath. She hadn’t told him yet. There were so many things he didn’t know. “She’s my niece.”
His eyes widened. “Emily is? So, that makes her my…”
“Cousin,” finished Diana.
He leaned back in his chair, pressed both hands to his head. “I have a new cousin. Wow. Does she know about me?”
Diana shook her head.
His eyes narrowed. “Are you planning on telling her?”
“Yes, of course I am. I haven’t told anyone yet. I’m sorry… I know I should’ve but it’s all so new. I’m not very good at shifting course all of a sudden. I need time…”
“I understand. Although, I hope you don’t wait too long. I can’t stay in the Cove indefinitely.”
She dipped her head in agreement.
“You haven’t told your husband yet?”
“No, not yet. It’s hard… we’ve spent forty years together. He thinks he knows everything there is to know about me. It’ll be a shock…”
Ben rubbed a hand over his face, smiled. “I understand. I can’t imagine what that would be like. I never got married.”
“You’re still young,” she replied.
He laughed. “Not so very young, forty-four in August.”
“That’s young enough to find love.”
“I suppose you’re right. I’d like to get married, maybe even have a family someday.”
“I hope you don’t mind me asking… why didn’t you marry?”
His lips pursed. “I don’t know. I suppose I never found the one. If there is such a thing. I had a few serious relationships that ended, and before I knew it, I was forty years old and single.” He chuckled. “But it’s not so bad. I like it some days. Other days, I wish I had someone to share my life with.”
“Tell me about your parents? Were they good to you?” The words that tumbled from her lips had been hiding in her heart for more than forty years. They were words she’d fallen asleep wondering, hoping, praying over. Words she shed tears over. Her heart clenched as they left her mouth.
He smiled, reached for her hand, and squeezed it. “They were very good to me… still are. I’ve got nothing to complain about when it comes to Mum and Dad. I love them, they love me, and I had a great childhood. I’m not trying to replace them by coming to see you, I only wanted to get to know you.”
She nodded, swallowed. “I’m so glad to hear it. I worried… all the time over whether I’d made the right choice. It seems I did.”
He sighed. “I don’t know if I can answer that for you. But they were, and are, good parents to me. I couldn’t have asked for better. In fact, they’re very anxious about this whole trip. They worried you wouldn’t want to see me, that I’d be hurt. I’ve told them all about you, and they’d like to meet you someday, if you’re up for it. They’re older than you, of course. Dad turned eighty last year, and Mum will be eighty next year.”
She nodded. “It would be wonderful to meet them. I feel I have to thank them…” Tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t go on.
“Thank them?” he asked.
“For… for raising my baby boy with so much love.” One tear spilled onto her cheek and she didn’t bother to wipe it away.
He pressed his fingers to hers again. “They’d be very happy to hear that, I’m sure.”
The waitress brought their food, set it in front of them and left again. Ben had released his hold on her hand and Diana missed the warmth of his touch.
Her son. She had a son.
She was filled with so much joy, sadness, fear… emotions whirled around inside of her. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with them all. She’d avoided drama as much as possible in her adult life and had put away the sadness over never having had a family of her own many years earlier, ever since she’d lived in a quiet contentment. But now, everything was topsy-turvy, her carefully constructed world coming apart at the seams.
She took a bite of the fish, and it flaked apart on her tongue, warm and soft. The food at the Emerald Cafe really was very good. She focused her attention on the plate in front of her as she worked to calm her emotions. The tears dried on her cheeks, she inhaled slow breaths.
Ben ate in silence for a few moments as well, the only sound the crackle of crisp pastry beneath his knife and fork. He chewed and swallowed, then watched her a moment.
“There is one other thing I wanted to ask you about… well, a lot of things really, but one important thing.”
She’d known it was coming, of course he had to ask. She set down her fork and braced herself.
“I need to know who my father is. His name wasn’t in any of the documentation I found… I was hoping you might tell me.”
Chapter 19
Diana
Diana pressed her lips into a long, thin line. What could she say? Of course, Ben wanted to know about his father. It was only logical. But the truth wasn't something she was ready to spill. Her thoughts raced over the dominoes of revelation balanced in a line — if this one toppled how many others would it take down with it?
“I… uh… well, it makes sense you’d want to know a
bout that.”
She took another bite of the grilled fish, along with a forkful of Greek salad and chewed slowly. He watched her all the while. Waiting, patient.
Diana glanced up and saw Cindy walk into the Emerald Cafe. In the same moment, her friend looked her way and caught her eye. Her lips broadened into a smile, and she strode in their direction.
“Oh wonderful, Cindy is here - the cafe owner.” Diana’s heart thundered against her ribcage. Her thoughts whirled. Overwhelmed, she pushed a smile to her face and relied on her well-honed manners to get her through this moment.
“Di, I didn’t know you were coming here for lunch.” Cindy kissed her cheek and slumped into a chair beside her. “Oh wow, I went for a walk around the point this morning and my feet are aching beyond belief.”
Cindy faced Ben. “Oh, I’m so sorry, you have a guest for lunch…”
Diana inhaled a sharp breath. “No, it’s fine… this is Ben. Ben, this is Cindy Flannigan, she owns the Emerald Cafe and is a dear friend of mine.”
“Your best friend,” corrected Cindy as she reached for Ben’s hand. “At least that’s what we used to tell people when we were teenagers, and we’ve never really given it up.”
Ben shook Cindy’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Cindy. You knew Diana when she was a teenager?”
Interest sparked in his eyes. Diana could see Cindy’s curiosity as well. It wouldn’t be long before the truth surfaced, she felt as though she couldn’t stop it. Her breath caught in her throat.
“Yes, I certainly did and let me tell you, she was very different back then to what she is now. She was wild. I know, it’s hard to imagine, she’s so prim and proper these days, but Di wasn’t always like this.”
Cindy chuckled, her gaze flitting back and forth between Diana and Ben, trying to put together who he was and why Diana was having lunch alone with him.
“So, are you one of the suppliers for the Seaside Manor…?” asked Cindy.
Ben shook his head. “No, actually I’m…”
Diana grabbed Cindy by the arm and pulled as she leapt to her feet. “Cindy, honey come with me. There’s something I need to show you in the kitchen. Ben, we’ll be just a minute. Keep eating, I’ll be right back.”
Diana dragged Cindy by the arm in the direction of the kitchen.
“Ouch! What on earth? Diana Jones, let go of my arm.”
They reached the kitchen and Diana pushed through the two-way door, then released Cindy’s arm. Cindy massaged the place where Diana’s fingers had gripped her flesh. She scowled. “What has gotten into you? Was it because I called you a wild teenager in front of your friend? Come on, what’s the big deal? You were wild, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. For heaven’s sakes, Di, you’re sixty years old, it’s time to give up on shame — shame isn’t your friend.”
Diana shook her head. “No, it isn’t that. I’m sorry if I hurt your arm.”
“Never mind, I’ll recover. Tell me what’s going on.” Cindy folded her arms across her chest.
“Can we sit?”
“Yes, of course.”
Cindy lead Diana to her small, cramped office behind the kitchen. She sat at her desk, and Diana sat across from her. She noted the certificates on the walls, the family portraits hanging beside them.
She swallowed. “I have to tell you something about Ben.”
“Okay.” Cindy eyed her warily.
“He’s my son.”
“What?” Cindy gaped.
“Yes, he’s my son. I had him when I was sixteen years old. You remember the spring and summer I spent with my aunt and uncle? You knew I was pregnant, but no one else did.”
“I remember the time you went away to your aunt and uncle’s and had a miscarriage…” Cindy’s voice hardened. “You mean to tell me you didn’t have a miscarriage at all?”
“That’s right.” Diana gave a curt nod. “I had a baby boy and gave him up for adoption — Ben found me a few months ago, he wrote some letters and I responded. Then, he showed up at my door and wants to get to know me.”
“Wow.”
“Yes, it’s been a little overwhelming for me… but in a good way. I’m… well, I don’t know what I’m feeling entirely, but happy is one word I could use. I guess. And scared of course. I haven’t told Rupert yet, you’re the first person I’ve said anything to.”
Cindy walked around the desk, sat on it, and embraced Diana. “It’s wonderful news, love. I’m so happy for you. You always wanted a child of your own, and you’ve got one. I only wish you’d told me. I wouldn’t have said anything, you know that.”
Diana’s eyes pricked with tears and a lump built in her throat. “I know. I know. Only, my parents said I shouldn’t tell anyone. They were adamant about it. I wish I hadn’t listened… sometimes I wish I’d kept him. But he tells me he had a happy childhood, so I suppose I couldn’t ask for more than that. My parents wouldn’t let me keep him at the time, they refused, and I was only sixteen…”
“Of course, it sounds to me like you did the best thing you could do at that time. Don’t beat yourself up over it, what’s done is done. But now you have a second chance to get to know your son — I think it’s marvellous.”
Diana reached for friend’s hands and held them in her own. “Thank you, Cindy. That means a lot to me. You’ve been the best friend I could’ve asked for over the years. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you, to be honest.”
Cindy smiled. “Right back at you.” She frowned. “But what about the father… you hadn’t started dating Rupert yet, if I remember rightly. And you wouldn’t tell me who it was at the time. Couldn’t he have helped you with the baby?”
Diana drew a deep breath. “No, he was only two years older than me and finishing his last year of high school.”
“So, I knew him?”
Diana nodded. “Yes.”
It was the same thing Ben wanted to know. Exactly what Rupert would ask when he discovered the truth about Ben. She couldn’t escape it; the truth would have to come out. She couldn’t keep dodging the question. And it was so long ago. She’d held onto her secret, hidden it in a hurting heart for so many years. It would be a relief to have it out in the open. Cindy eyed her, waiting for more.
“It was Drew.”
“My Andrew?” Cindy’s eyes widened.
“Yes. I’m so sorry.”
“But Drew and I were dating then. We were in love…”
“I know. I’m sorry. It was a weak moment. He told me… well he told me things I wanted to hear. And you remember how cute and charming he was. It happened that time you had tonsillitis, and a group of us went to a party on the beach without you — do you remember? There was a bonfire. It was very romantic.”
“My Drew is the father of your baby? You and Drew…?”
Diana bit down on her lip. It was always going to be bad news. She hated having to hurt Cindy. But Andrew and Cindy were separated now, and Cindy had been charmed by Andrew into believing his lies, into accepting his selfishness, so many times. Surely, she understood the way he was, that Diana couldn’t resist.
“Yes, I know how it sounds… it’s terrible. I felt horrible about it at the time, and I still do. Of course, after it happened, I told him it could never happen again. That you were my friend, and I wouldn’t do that to you. He was fine with it… said he understood. I was in love with him for a while, until I met Rupert really. I never told him about the pregnancy. He doesn’t know about Ben.”
Cindy’s nostrils flared. “You and Andy cheated on me, together. You had a baby with him, and in all our years of friendship you never thought to tell me about it.”
“I wanted to tell you, of course, so many times. But it was over… in my mind… it was over. Ben was gone, you and Andrew got married, I married Rupert… life went on. And the secrets my parents made me keep became normal to me. But I never really got over it, any of it.”
“I can’t believe it — no matter what Andy did, he never deserved for you to keep so
mething like that from him. That’s a level of cruel… well, I didn’t think you were capable of it, Di. Truly I didn’t.” With a flash of anger in her eyes, Cindy stood, strode to the door, and flung it open. “I’m flabbergasted you could do that to me, to Rupert, and to Andy, to all of us really. You’re not the friend I thought you were. Stay away from me!” She sobbed, pressing both hands to her face, and then ran.
Diana watched her go, tears spilling from her eyes. She reached for a tissue from the box on Cindy’s desk and dabbed at her face. It wouldn’t do for Ben to see she’d been crying. Then he’d want to know why, and she’d have to tell him everything. It didn’t make sense to tell him the entire truth yet, not before Rupert. Now that Cindy knew about Ben, she’d have to hurry home and tell Rupert. The last thing she wanted was for him to hear about everything from someone else — not that Cindy was a gossip, mind, but she wouldn’t put it past her friend to give Rupert a call herself when she was as angry as that. She tossed the wadded-up tissue into a wastepaper basket, and walked from the office, her head high.
The house was quiet when Diana parked the car and tiptoed in through the garage door. Rupert could be sleeping, or perhaps watching the television in the den with his headphones on. He couldn’t turn it up loud enough to hear, without bothering the neighbours, so she’d bought him some wireless headphones and he loved them. Said it was like watching a movie in a cinema with surround sound.
She left her purse on the kitchen bench and went looking for him. He was seated in the den, headphones on, head back, a light snore emitting from his open mouth. She watched him for a few moments, her heart warm. Why did the truth have to come back now and hurt so many of the people she loved? And yet Ben… she’d do it all again for him. He was the one good thing to come from all of it, and he was certainly worth every moment of pain she’d endured.
She sat beside Rupert and rested a hand on his arm. He came awake with a start, then smiled at her as he removed his headphones.
“There you are,” he said. “I was wondering when you’d get home. I ate a sandwich without you, I hope you don’t mind.”
