“I want you to give an interview. I would put her out there, and the team, but they…they have secrets I can’t allow to be exposed.”
“So you finally know. Her heart was always too damn big, which is funny, since most would think she doesn’t have one.”
“You already knew.” James let that soak in. He was the odd man out. Charlie already knew. Damn, they had kept it from him because of his position. Understandable, but annoying nonetheless.
“Of course I already knew. She gossips to me about those boys like a teenage girl. Once a week, I get my phone call, and she tells me everything is fine but oh, Zander left the toilet seat up. Jasper is too busy with school for her. Vincent is nosy. Elijah is a prick, and Quinn remains weird.”
“Huh.” He let that continue to process. “Elijah is a prick, huh?”
“Apparently, after their blasted mission in the Amazon, he’s been a bit of an ass.” Charlie grinned. “Imagine the toughest six people you know. Then throw in that they’re actually pretty young, and their jobs have left them bereft of normal relationships. They act immature in private with each other, I’m guessing. There’s a psychology to it, I’m certain. Sawyer certainly doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s never had normal to base it on.”
“So, the doctor still lives in there.”
“Of course.” Charlie shrugged as he put his book down. “I’ll do it.”
“Really?” James had hoped, but he hadn’t been completely certain.
“Of course. You know, you were right. I might have healed her and saved her life, but she also saved mine. And not just mine. Look into the classroom when you get down there. Most of them are still alive because she found them. She doesn’t deserve to be left out in the cold and destroyed by the press.”
“I agree. I’ll get something worked out, then contact you with the details. It’ll be fast, Charlie, probably tomorrow or the day after.”
“I’ll be ready. Need to get a new suit.”
“I’ll pay for it. We can work something out.” James stood back up and held his hand out. They exchanged a firm handshake.
“You need to head home and get some sleep. If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re about to drop.” Charlie continued to hold his hand, and it warmed up. James felt concern from the Magi and he knew the old man was healing him, feeling the physical toll he’d done to himself.
“We’re the same age, so please don’t treat me like one of the children you babysit,” James retorted, yanking his hand away. “And I’m getting no sleep because I’m babysitting the other children.”
“Amen to that. All these kids need more damn father figures in their lives.”
He snorted, walking out. He again didn’t open the door, instead opting to walk through it. Before he left the gym, though, he went to that classroom and peeked inside.
Rows of little young kids, all non-Magi, were practicing punches and doing jumping jacks. They were smiling and laughing. Teenagers helped them correct their fists and offered hands for them to swing at.
He wanted to make this her legacy. It would never happen, but he could at least make sure it was on the record. People would get the full story before passing judgment on one of his agents.
He headed home alone, almost a little lost. His small condo in New York was all he’d had for years. He had another home outside the city, but it held too many memories for him.
She weighed heavy on his mind, always there, always nagging him. She’d been that way since the day he met her - not just in Atlanta, no. The day his last team started contact with her. She’d always struck him as strange in her communications. She was never what he expected.
That was part of why he wanted to help her so much. And he loved his young team. He remembered the day Vincent came up to him, young and fresh-faced, but with dark shadows in his eyes. Elijah, there next to him. They wanted a piece of Axel. They wanted to be the team that caught him. They thought James was the only handler that would understand.
And then they found her again.
He wandered through his two-bedroom, modern marble condo, wondering if there was anything else he needed to do for them. Any way he could help, no matter how much work they ended up giving him with their shenanigans.
He needed to make them heroes, not outcasts. Not just Sawyer, but the entire team. They had always been the black sheep of the IMPO, thanks to their collective backgrounds, bad attitudes, and strange behavior. He needed to repair not just her reputation, but the guys’ as well, or they would never hear the end of it from the rest of the world.
His kids, that’s what Thompson had called them.
Yeah, and he loved the fucking shits, no matter what weird shit they were into.
12
Sawyer
“Would you say she’s in any way repentant for the pain she’s caused? Do you think she feels guilty, or is this maybe all an act? A show she’s put on so she can remain free.”
Sawyer gritted her teeth at the screen, glaring at the interviewer. Some fucking rich guy who was well-known for walking his interviewees into corners.
“I know she’s repentant, and I know she feels guilty,” Charlie answered patiently. “I’m a doctor, Gentry. I wasn’t just a surgeon or a healer, either. I worked a lot in psychology as well. I’m not sure what you’re trying to ask me that I haven’t already answered. I lived with her for four years, from shortly after she was declared dead to the moment the IMPO found her during an unrelated case and took her into custody.”
“Now, you say she felt guilty, but she was still a thief, wasn’t she? I mean, that doesn’t seem very-”
“Has anyone told you what she did with the money she made from that work? She has a very specific skill, Gentry, and made do with it. She did what she could with what she had.”
“Why does it matter how she used the money? It’s not like she was Robin Hood.”
Sawyer closed her eyes as she heard Charlie laugh at the interviewer. Such a good laugh for such a dark conversation.
“But she was! She put it all away. She made college funds for kids. She paid for lawyers to help people escape abusive marriages and pay for their children’s needs. Or to get new homes, since they lived in dangerous areas. She might have been a thief, and stealing isn’t a victimless crime, but she definitely applied skills you look down on to doing more for the kids of New York than anyone else ever had. Kids in this city, living right under the nose of the WMC and ignored because they have no magic. She didn’t ignore them.”
“Sawyer?” Vincent touched her shoulder and she nearly jumped. She’d been so focused on the utter betrayal on the screen in front of her that she hadn’t noticed him. She was getting so damned sloppy. Comfortable. She turned and saw they were all filing into the room, looking at her.
“Who asked him to do this?” she asked softly, glaring at them. “Who put him in danger?”
“James asked him and we didn’t know,” Vincent answered. “We had no idea. And from what James said-”
“I don’t fucking care what James said,” she snapped. “I spent years keeping a low profile so that Charlie and those kids would be safe. So that I could be in their lives and they would be fucking safe.” She pointed wildly at the screen, as something unraveled in her. She felt insane, mad as the world she worked so hard to build came apart at the seams. “And now he’s on the fucking news, streaming to anyone with a fucking internet connection. This isn’t safe!” She was screaming at the end of it. She was breathing hard as her fury ramped up, but the room grew cold.
In front of her, they all stood unrepentant themselves, as Charlie continued to talk behind her about her and her life with him.
“He knows the risks,” Vincent told her. “He knows what’s at stake.”
“HIS LIFE!” she roared.
“No, yours.”
She snarled at him. How dare he. There was nothing at risk for her. Her reputation would never be repaired or perfect. She would always carry around the pain and the condemnation.
Charlie was safe. He was a respected member of the Magi community, even after he withdrew from it, long before he met her. He could have stayed that way. Now they were always going to look at him as a sympathizer to a murderer.
“I can’t believe you. Any of you. You’re all okay with this?”
“We are,” Jasper said, speaking up. “Sorry, Sawyer, but it’s been five days of nothing but hate coming from every speaker in this house. The news channels, the radio, the fucking internet. Sorry, but Charlie was in a position to tell them something they might not believe otherwise. He had a chance to get some of the real truth out there, and we’re completely fine with him doing that.”
“God damn all of you. He was safe,” she hissed it out like her jaguar would have. Her jaguar, who had run off into the damn woods for three days and refused to come back. “I can’t watch anymore of this.”
She pushed Vincent out of her way and stormed through the group in the way of the door. They didn’t try to stop her. She was furious and needed to scream and yell. She couldn’t tolerate this betrayal from them. She couldn’t believe James thought this was a fucking good idea. She couldn’t believe Charlie went along with it.
She knew what was happening over the last week. It was a ramped-up version of what had happened quietly when it was publicized that Shadow worked for the IMPO. Now they had her face and name; they had a target. They called for those in the WMC to step down for employing a monster, a killer. They called for the IMPO to go rogue and arrest her anyway, for someone to put down the rabid beast that didn’t belong in their perfect world.
None of it justified the use of Charlie, exposing him to every Magi in the world who might have a bone to pick with her. Now they knew she was alive because of him. He could have let her die that night. He could have called the IMPO and had her hauled away. Instead he’d healed her and kept her in secret.
He was as much a criminal to the world now as she was. It was one of the things the interview addressed first. Luckily, no one was going to arrest Charlie for just doing what he was gifted with: healing. Plus, it was so far beyond the point that it didn’t matter.
She ran out into the woods, deciding to refocus on finding her damn cat. Sombra had torn off one day when Sawyer broke something in their room. The feline wasn’t sure what was wrong, but the cat refused to come back until Sawyer did something for her. She just wouldn’t tell Sawyer what that was. It annoyed Sawyer, since it was too damn cold for the jaguar to be out at night.
“This will give me something to do at least,” she mumbled angrily. “Sombra!” she roared, hoping the cat would answer.
Nothing came back, not even through the bond. The cat was blocking her out.
“Damn it.” She hiked further into the woods. She wrapped her arms around her core, realizing she was an idiot for not wearing a jacket. She was lucky she even had shoes on, since she was normally barefoot in the house.
As she moved further away, just following the small tug of the bond, she realized she was going deeper into the woods than she ever had. This was Quinn’s territory, all right. She could feel how he was probably the only Magi to go this deep. His magic clung like the Druids’ did in their homes. This was where he went to be truly wild.
She found Sombra standing on a log, waiting for her.
“What do you need me out here for?”
There was no annoyance that it took her three days to admit defeat and come find the jaguar. Only expectation. Sombra jumped off the log and began to walk away.
“Don’t be weird and just let me know what you want, Sombra. I’m not Quinn. I don’t understand a lot of the stuff you send my way.” She didn’t have his animal instincts to help her understand. He could at least shift into a wolf, which gave him a strong understanding of Shade and Scout. She was just a Magi with one form. Two, if smoke was included, but it wasn’t helpful in the manner she needed it to be at that moment.
Sombra stopped and shifted down. She watched the jaguar’s muscles tense and relax as the cat shifted silently, her claws digging into the dirt. Then she jumped, flying up into the air. A crunch was the only thing Sawyer could hear.
When Sombra fell back down to the earth, there was a ball of feathers and blood in her mouth.
“I don’t need presents,” she mumbled as the bird was dropped at her feet. “But thanks.”
Sombra then nosed it closer.
“It’s a dead bird. You can eat it. There’s no reason to waste it. Quinn wouldn’t like it.”
“She’s trying to understand why this killing is good, but not the killing you did,” Quinn called out. “She doesn’t know why you hurt so badly and why the other humans say such awful things.”
“How do you know?” she growled back at him. Of course he’d fucking followed her.
“The animals talk to each other. The boys told me.”
“Why didn’t you answer?”
“She’s not mine to educate.”
Sawyer groaned and sat down in the dirt, far away from the dead bird. “I kill other humans, Sombra.”
But that didn’t answer her question. Sombra saw her kill another human and be praised for it. Why wasn’t that bad too?
“Because it matters why I killed the person, and for who. Right now, I am supposed to kill for those in power. They are considered the good guys. They are ‘right.’ But I used to kill for the bad guys, and they are ‘wrong.’ Human issues of morality. It’s pretty confusing.”
Sombra lay down at her feet. She didn’t like her human being talked about so badly, which was one of the reasons she came into the woods. She didn’t want to feel Sawyer hurt so much again. This was a bad hurt, too. It felt like something was rotting from the inside.
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” she whispered, running her hand over the slick black coat. Her own pain was being echoed back to her from Sombra’s memories. It did feel like a rot, something deep and insidious that could never be healed.
Sombra didn’t understand. She didn’t know pain could feel like that. She only knew physical hurts. And the feeling was getting worse every day. It had started so small, but now it was big. She hated it.
“I hate it too. I’m trying, baby, I promise.” Sawyer kept giving the cat long strokes, hoping to ease her. She looked up to Quinn. “My pain chased her away.”
“Yes, it was one of the reasons.”
“I need to get help,” she whispered, “so my pain doesn’t hurt her, don’t I?”
“Yes. When Sombra ran off, I went to Jasper. He’s already talked to someone about getting you…uh, video sessions with a real doctor.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you still mad about Charlie?” he asked, sitting next to her.
“Yes,” she snapped, her mood turning back to angry. “Damn it,” she mumbled, covering her face with her hands. She couldn’t believe this, but now with Charlie out there talking about her…there might just be another doctor who could give her a chance to explain her side and get this out. And maybe medicate her ass. That would maybe be nice. “I’m sorry. I’ll call Charlie and talk to him. And I’ll go back and talk to Jasper about…finally seeing a therapist. It’s time. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. Living with this pain and rot. You guys have been amazing, trying to put me back together, and you’ve gotten me so far, but it’s time I seek professional help.”
“I’m glad you understand that.”
“I take it you all knew already? That there was nothing else that could be done here at home?”
“Truthfully? I was the last to realize it, and the guys had to explain. To me, pack delivers everything I need, but…they all had solid points. So, I’m just delivering the message.” He smiled at her and she couldn’t stop a small one from forming too. He was so honest. “It doesn’t make you weak, though.”
“Actually, it was never that I felt weak,” she admitted. “It was that I never wanted to expose myself and my secrets. Now…well, they’re all out, so I guess it doesn’t matter.” She sno
rted. “Guess there is a bright spot to all of this.”
She looked down at her jaguar, who laid her head in her lap, and continued to stroke the silk fur. “I’m sorry, Sombra. I’ll get better for you,” she whispered. “And now you understand why sometimes killing is okay and sometimes killing is bad.”
The jaguar huffed. She thought humans were stupid.
“Can we go in now?”
Another huff, but the big cat didn’t budge.
“I guess not,” she mumbled. Quinn chuckled, standing back up. “Don’t leave me out here with her.”
“I’m not,” he replied, reaching to grab Sombra’s collar and haul her up. “Let’s go. You’ve been freezing out here and no one likes it.”
A flash of teeth and a grumpy growl was what they were given, but in the end, they did go back to the house.
Sawyer stopped and checked her phone when they were inside, as Sombra ran off to find a warm place to curl up in. The interview was still going. He was talking about her nightmares and PTSD now. How she was always closing it off, trying to hide the trauma she went through, so no one really knew how bad it was. How she was as much a victim of Axel Castello as anyone else.
“She is a passionate woman who found herself in a situation where she had no hope. Where she was bent and blackmailed into doing terrible things. So when she whispered to me her story while fever ravaged her body and her injuries battled infection, I knew there was no way I could turn her in. She was just a hurt young woman who didn’t know how to fix it. That’s all she’s ever wanted, to fix it.”
What Charlie said to Gentry left the interviewer stunned long enough for Sawyer to turn her phone off and not hear a response. He was blasting her secrets to the world, but damn, he had her back and she loved the old man for it. She hoped nothing happened to him for it, and she was angry that it could put him in danger, but a little piece of her loved him so much for risking himself for her.
It eased some of the pain in her chest. Past the anger, she was genuinely happy that someone was able to stand up and say she was good and mean it. With no ulterior motives, no romantic feelings, and nothing to get out of it, Charlie stuck his neck out for her.
An Echo of Darkness (The Redemption Saga Book 4) Page 14
