by Marcy Jacks
“You were right to leave,” Renford said, shocking Miles. “I never should have…” He shook his head, clenching his throat and glaring off to the side. “I was a fool.”
That didn’t make Miles feel any better about his decision to leave.
“I feel like I betrayed you.”
Renford kissed him again. “No.” Another kiss. “I betrayed you.”
Miles wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by that, and he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know either, but then the kissing got deeper. More pleasant, and he just wanted to hold on to the other man for as long as he was able to. He didn’t care about anything else. Even if Renford was only here to satisfy the mating need that coursed through him, Miles didn’t care.
It was stupid, and it was dangerous, but it was the truth. Renford had Miles wrapped up in both of his pinky fingers.
Renford’s hands settled on Miles’s waist. He hooked his fingers into the waist of Miles’s jeans, slid around to the front where the button and fly were, and got to work undressing him.
Miles had never been happier to not be in his robes than he was in that heated moment.
He moaned and squirmed even as Renford sweetly undressed him.
Because Miles belonged to him. Crazy shit and all. There was no coming back from this.
Chapter Eleven
This was happening. There was a certain language of kissing that Miles was quickly becoming very in tune with.
He could tell what it meant when Renford pushed his tongue between Miles’s lips and licked him deep. He could tell what it meant even before the other man started pulling his clothes off.
It was in the hunger of his mouth, the way his entire body was on fire with heat, the way Miles's body answered the call back without him even knowing he was doing it.
He wanted more. He wanted more of this man, and he was going to take as much as he could get.
Because this was where he belonged.
Everything else could go to hell. This was his mate. Miles was taking him. Flaws and all.
Renford pulled Miles’s pants off while Miles yanked his shirt over his head. He had to kick his shoes off so he could get his jeans off his legs. Only one of his socks was taken with the leg of the denim, but it was enough. His cock seemed to breathe a sigh of relief once it was free, and then he was able to focus on getting Renford out of his clothes.
At least, as much of his clothes as Renford was willing to let him take off.
"I can't get entirely naked. Might need to run in a hurry," he said.
That aching feeling in Miles’s heart came back to him, but there was nothing he could do about it. Renford was right. He was in danger being here. He shouldn't be here in the first place.
Since he was, if he needed to flee, it was best if he kept some of his clothes on.
"At least take your shirt off," Miles begged. "I want to touch your skin."
With his shirt off, Miles’s hands would be able to reach for and touch as much of his skin as he could reach. There would be limited skin to skin contact between their legs and thighs, but at least Miles’s hands would be satisfied.
Renford seemed to agree. He paused for only a few seconds, thinking about it, but then he sat up on his knees, grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head.
It sure as hell gave Miles an amazing show, being able to watch the stretching of his abdomen, the way his stomach moved as Renford got naked from the waist up.
Miles bit down on a low groan.
He'd only been with Renford once, and he hadn't had his stupid glasses then, so he hadn't been able to enjoy this same view from before.
"You like what you see?"
Miles nodded, his entire body a little too warm, but God, this was an amazing view. "Wish I could have seen it the first time."
Looking once wasn't enough. Looking twice wouldn't be enough either. Miles didn't think he would ever get sick of seeing this. Not for as long as he lived.
Renford touched Miles’s cheek. He kept his hand there, cupping his face, and there was something in his expression, something soft, something sorry.
"I should have done so many things different."
Miles swallowed, but then he reached back for the other man, holding on to his waist, his hands sliding up his side, and his arms, then coming to rest on Renford's back, pulling him closer.
"You can tell me all about it when we're done here. I need you."
And he wasn't being dramatic about it.
Even with his clothes off, that brief relief that had come from freeing his cock felt as though it had never been there at all.
Now, all Miles could feel was the desperation to be penetrated. To be filled. To be fucked.
"You have anything we can use in here?"
Miles thought about that, and then he smiled, a shy feeling coming over him.
"If you don't mind me casting spells, we do."
Renford looked confused, and alarmed.
"I promise, it's something you'll like," he said. "It's a lubricating spell."
Renford blinked at him, as though he'd never heard of anything so ridiculous in his entire life. "Are you serious?"
Miles nodded, hoping the other man wouldn't ask him how he would know something like that. Or where anyone would ever learn such a spell.
"Do I want to know how you would know something like that?"
"I might tell you later, but for now, please don't ask."
Renford looked like he really wanted to ask, but thank God, he chose not to. "All right, just this one spell, though. You're using it on yourself, right?"
Miles snorted, barely holding back a laugh. "Yeah, I am."
Though one day he hoped to convince Renford that it would be all right to use it on him.
He figured it would be a while before he got that chance, but at least he was getting the chance to cast a spell in front of him. That had to mean he was at least a little trusting, right?
Miles quickly cast the spell. Thankfully, it was one of those spells that didn't require words. The person who invented it must have known it would be weird to have a verbal cue for something like this, so it was all about where Miles put his fingers.
He reached back and under, gently touching his hole with one hand, and then the head of his cock, keeping each finger in the right place so nothing would be in the wrong position. He focused just a little, and the spell took over.
It wasn't as intimate as having Renford do this, but with the lack of time, it was better than nothing.
Which is what they were both going to get if they weren't quick about this.
The sudden feeling of being stretched, and being wet, came over him quickly, and Miles sighed when it hit him, hard and fast.
He pulled his hands back, looking up at Renford expectantly.
Renford gently, as though unsure about whether or not he should do it, checked for himself. His fingers playing around at Miles’s hole, gently pushing inside and seeing for himself that Miles was indeed slicked.
"That's amazing."
"I know, right?"
Miles would get Renford comfortable with magick in no time.
"Are you able to do this with a woman?"
"Women can do it to themselves if they want."
Renford nodded, his gaze still looking incredibly fascinated as he pushed his fingers deeper and deeper.
Miles sighed, his spine arching as he enjoyed the touch of his mate.
"I missed you."
Renford nodded. "I…missed you, too."
Miles smiled. He was pretty sure it took a lot for Renford to admit to that, and he was so happy that he could hear it in the first place.
Then nothing else mattered at all as Renford pulled Miles to him, just as he'd done in his cabin. He pulled Miles’s ass onto his lap, and Miles shivered when he felt the heat of that thick cock touching his asshole.
Miles realized something just then, something he hadn't noticed before.
It was in the
way Renford fucked him. The way he pulled Miles to him, so they were face to face that made him think this meant more to Renford than he wanted to admit.
If this really was about sex, if he really wanted to fuck Miles and then ignore him after the fact, why wouldn't he put him on his hands and knees and take him from behind?
Why give each other the opportunity to look each other in the eyes like this?
Renford pushed the head forward. There was that same resistance Miles expected from the last time, but it was so much easier for him to handle. He sighed as his body accepted the intrusion, throwing his head back into the sheets and opening his mouth in a soundless cry.
"No sounds," Renford said, though he sounded as though he were struggling to hold back the noises as much as Miles was. "Have to be quiet."
Miles nodded. He believed it. He knew it. He felt it.
He was going to do this. Just as the other man wanted and needed. Miles wanted to shout and scream, but if Renford wanted him to be silent, then he could do that for the other man and make it work.
Renford pushed forward even more, inch by aching inch, Miles was filled up. He clenched his body, his toes curled, and when he wasn't sure if he could keep the noises back, he had to cover his mouth with his hand just to make sure there would be no unwanted sounds.
Then Renford was fully sheathed. Miles really had to keep a lid on the noises he wanted to make then. Renford's cockhead pressed up right against his prostate. God, he could feel it lingering there. Miles’s own dick wept with the rush of pleasure as Renford held still, as though making sure Miles would suffer through his pleasure as much as possible.
"You are…so beautiful. You should see yourself," Renford said.
Miles kind of hated the other man in that moment because how in the hell was it that he was able to keep this much control over himself, and Miles could barely stop himself from shouting his pleasure up to the ceiling.
He reached down, his hand searching for his prick, but Renford batted his hand away before his fingertips could so much as graze his shaft.
"That's mine." The slight growl of Renford's low voice made Miles shiver. "You don't get to touch that unless I say so. Understand?"
He didn't. He wanted to jerk himself to orgasm while Renford fucked into him. His cock was feeling sorely neglected, but if he was going to get what he wanted out of this, he supposed there wasn't much he could do about it.
So he nodded beneath his hand.
"And don't do this either."
Renford grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand back from his mouth. He was already canting his hips forward, gently thrusting into him, making Miles go insane with the rush of pleasure.
"You need to have a little self-control."
Miles couldn't believe it, especially as the other man continued to fuck into him, making him go insane with the rising pleasure beneath his belly.
"E-easy for you to say. You're the one on top."
The corner of Renford's mouth quirked. "Trust me, this takes more self-control than you think it does."
It might, but with the easy pace Renford insisted on keeping, it felt a little more like Miles was the one on the tortured end here.
But then he groaned, his prostate teased again and again with each forward thrust.
They managed to keep it fairly quiet, actually. Even though Renford was taller, wider, more muscular and heavier than Miles was, each time he fucked into him, the bed barely made a noise.
Slow and steady was winning this race.
It really felt as though they were making love.
Not fucking because the mating put them into a rut, though Miles really wanted to rut, but this was so perfect. He had no complaints about it, and he wanted to keep this going for as long as possible.
"I…I love you." Miles swallowed, his hands sliding across Renford's massive chest, fingers playing with his nipples before he had to touch something else. "I love you."
He didn't care if the mating was making him feel that either. It was the truth.
Renford growled, the loudest noise he'd made so far. "I love you, too."
Miles’s heart soared. He wrapped his legs around Renford's waist and held on tighter, clinging to him and wishing he could hold him like this forever.
Whenever he wanted to moan too loudly, he pressed his face and mouth to the side of Renford's throat, forcing himself to be quiet, and whenever he wanted to reach down and stroke his poor, ignored cock, he forced himself to hold on tighter to Renford's forearms, or he would cling to the man's back.
Then Miles remembered his manners and started thrusting back against those canting hips, knowing he had to do something more than just cling to the other man if he was going to make Renford enjoy this, too.
So good. It was so good. He wanted to scream and shout.
"I…I wish we were back…at your loft."
Renford nodded. "I know."
Warm breath between them, warming Miles’s face. Renford grabbed onto his hand and threaded their fingers together, and the sweetness of that act was enough to make him forget that it wasn't really him that Renford wanted, even though he might want him.
It made Miles feel as though he were special.
The sweet high of his orgasm came quickly. Miles had to slap his hand over his mouth again when he nearly moaned a little too loudly. He pulled Renford's hand to his cock, and thank God, the other man took the hint, wrapping his thick, strong fingers around his dick and stroking him until he came.
Meanwhile, Miles had to throw both of his hands over his mouth while his back arched and hole clenched around Renford’s thick cock.
He felt the other man’s groan rumbling through his body even while strung up on that amazing high, and the rush of warmth shooting inside him as Renford bit down hard on Miles’s shoulder.
It hurt, but the pleasure of his orgasm offset that easily.
And then he could breathe again. He collapsed. Hot, sweaty, and helpless beneath Renford’s body.
When Renford fell on top of him, their breath seemed entirely too loud, but Miles knew it was probably quieter than he realized. It only seemed loud because it was just the two of them.
But the sweetest thing was the way Renford wouldn't let go of Miles’s hand. Their fingers were laced together, and Miles could hear the sound of Renford's heart beating heavily.
But then Renford had to ruin it.
“I should go.”
Miles’s heart ached. He gripped the man's hand tighter.
“Stay.”
“You know I can't. I need to go.”
Miles clenched his teeth, but he did release Renford, allowing him to pull back and get to his feet.
It was the worst thing in the world, watching him get his shirt back on and right the rest of his clothes.
“You shouldn't pout. You're too old for that.”
“I'm not pouting.”
Renford said nothing, but he didn't leave either. He sat on the bed, a heavy sigh escaping him.
Miles watched him for a moment, trying to figure out what was happening here.
“I know about your other mate.”
Renford's spine stiffened.
Miles surged ahead. “I’m…really sorry. I get why you wouldn't want me for a mate.”
“You don't understand. You could never understand that.”
Miles wet his lips. “I know it's not the same thing, but you're trying to leave. Are you ever going to come back?”
He was getting the very bad feeling that the answer to that was a huge no.
“You'll see me when you need to.”
For sex.
Great.
“Did you have anything to do with the attack?”
“No.”
One-word answer. The relief it brought was indescribable. There was no beating around the bush here. No, it's complicated. No, you don't know the whole story.
Just a flat, simple, beautiful no.
“Do you believe me?”
“Ye
s.”
“You shouldn't. You barely know me. You don't know me.”
Miles didn't understand that at all. “But the mating—”
“Compels you to want to be with me, to be loyal to me. I could still be lying to you. I could be using you.”
Renford looked back at him, holding his gaze. His eyes flashed dangerously, and for a hair of a second, Miles did feel uncertain.
But then he sucked back his courage. “You're bullshitting me. You just want me to get mad at you and send you away, so you don't have to feel so bad about leaving. It's stupid, and it's not going to work.”
Renford rolled his eyes. He looked anything but impressed.
“You didn't have anything to do with the attack. But…did you really try to kill Arty?”
Renford rubbed the back of his neck. “I did. I wrapped my fingers around his neck and tried to choke the life out of him.”
Miles shivered.
“There. Now you understand what a monster I am.”
“But…it sounded like Keagan wanted to forgive you.”
“I've known Keagan since he was a child. Of course he would want that.”
Renford looked at him again. That same heat from before wasn't in his eyes, but he seemed…beaten down almost.
“I can't stay here with you, and I can't take you with me. This is your home. Your family is here,”
Miles didn't even think that going with him was an option, and now that it was there, he wanted to take it.
“I'm all right with going with you. I can do that.”
Renford snorted. “Don't be an idiot,”
“Fuck you, I'm not. I mean it.”
“You won't mean it after ten days on the run with me. You think you can rough it out with me in my little cabin out there? That place was a luxury compared to what I can actually give you, especially if we're always running, and we will be.”
Miles pushed himself to his knees. He went to the other man, resting his hands on Renford's strong shoulders. “I can handle it.”
“You don't know what you're asking for.”
“But I do.”
“No, you don't.” Renford pushed himself to his feet.
He paced around the small room. He seemed to forget all about the importance of keeping quiet. Of not drawing too much attention.
