"Those too," Ethan said. "But this one was on the list. I ranked them, in case you decided you wanted to be done trying the safe-date thing with me after just one. Bubble bath, movie, and pizza is my number one choice. So, what do you say?"
His voice dropped off, and I swore I heard a little bit of shake to his voice. He was nervous. Maybe most people wouldn't hear it, but I did. It was kind of hard to believe that someone could be nervous about asking you to stay in and watch a movie with him after he'd just fucked you senseless in the front seat of your car, but this was Ethan Anderson. Ethan, who I was quickly learning was not your normal, often-cocky, post-grad bro. He was complicated. In an entirely different way than I was, but complicated all the same.
"I say yes, please," I said, my heart warming at the flicker of happiness that danced through his eyes. "I just had kind of an unexpected workout," I said, reaching in the back seat to grab my bag. I stuffed my keys in it and then squeezed Ethan's hand. "I expected my shoulders to be sore, but it's more my lower half, now."
There was that beautiful, self-confident smile. "Next time I'll try to warn you."
"Oh no," I said as I opened the door. "Don't. It's more fun that way, don't you think?"
He didn't have a chance to respond before I got out of the car and headed toward my stairs. He caught up to me in a few seconds, grabbed my hand, and leaned down to smack a big, wet kiss on my cheek.
Despite a date at the shooting range, walking to the stairs, my fingers intertwined with Ethan's, watching the single caged incandescent lightbulb flicker slightly above us - all the factors made the aftermath of this date so non-thrilling, so normal. It didn't matter. My heart was still beating even faster than it had been with that Glock .22 in my hand.
Chapter 18
Ethan
One of the benefits of Natalia's room having previously been an Air B&B was that it had a big tub tucked into the corner of her little bathroom, and it even featured a couple of high-powered jets. Within 20 minutes, we'd changed out of our clothes, which now smelled like the cool outside air mixed with sweat and sex with the slightest hint of gunpowder, and slipped into a steaming hot tub. The bubbles all came from the jets - Natalia reminded me that if we put even a little soap in this tub with the jets on, tomorrow there would be a puddle somewhere in The Knockout that would make her very cranky.
Obviously, cranky Natalia was something that I wanted to avoid at any cost.
Bubbles were out, but she did let me rub conditioner through her long, thick waves as she sat between my legs. Yeah, my dick was already hard again nestled between her gorgeous curvy ass cheeks with only a whisper of water between them. But the way her head lolled back and her throat made quiet, happy moans when my fingers worked through her strands made ignoring the bastard the obvious choice. I wasn't going to interrupt this quiet stillness. Not for anything.
“So, what did you think about the shooting range?’ Natalia asked.
“Well,” I said, leaning forward and planting another kiss on her neck. “I’ve got to be honest, I don’t love guns. They’re dangerous and the leading cause of death in the United States.” With just those words, I felt her tense under my hands.
“Gun violence is the leading cause of death in the United States,” she grumbled. I had to give it to her. She was right. For all her tough façade, Natalia didn’t take criticism well. I wasn’t criticizing her, but to her, it sounded like it. I needed to work on that.
* * *
“I’m glad Arturo was there,” I continued. “It was good to know we were safe.”
“We were safe because I knew what I was doing, Ethan. I don’t need my brother to watch me all the time in order to be safe.”
* * *
Oh, shit. I was just digging myself into a deeper hole now. “That’s not what I meant. I just… it was good that it was in an official place. I meant I’m glad we had access to a safer range.”
She nodded quietly. “You know, all the stunts I ever do are as safe as possible.”
I wanted to say something about how “safe as possible” is still not really that safe for the vast majority of stunts she was doing. I watched enough movies to know that a body flying through the air is still a body flying through the air, even if it’s going to land on a cushion. Add heavy machinery like cars, and projectiles like bullets, and… yeah. But I took a deep breath. This was not the time. This was my date, and I wasn’t going to start a fight I couldn’t win with words. That much, I’d learned.
I didn’t want to fight at all, actually. I hadn’t planned on turning tonight into one of “my” dates, but I just liked being with her too damn much. That, and after I literally couldn’t control myself and took her in her car, it felt like kind of a dick move to have the date end there.
“And, you know,” I continued, just trying to keep the conversation going, “I liked how I felt, doing it. It made my body feel powerful in a different way than, like, running. Or lifting weights.”
“Right?” Natalia said, her voice a little higher and more awake than it had been just moments ago. “I mean, it’s so much potential energy, just held there in your hand. You know? Any weapon will do that – swords, bo staffs – and all in completely different ways. You feel like nothing could touch you.”
“Mmm,” I hummed into her hair. “You looked like nothing could touch you, too. I think that’s why I wanted to so badly. Watching you shoot that, I felt kind of…”
“Terrified?” she supplied, her head turned half-back, waiting for an answer. I brushed a kiss on her temple and moved my hands to her shoulders, rubbing circles deep into her muscles with my thumbs.
“No,” I said. “I guess… proud? Does that make sense? That you looked so sure of yourself, and strong.”
That was when she sat up, turned to look me fully in the eye. “Seriously, Ethan? That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s said to me in a really long time.”
I let out a brief chuckle. “Most girls want to hear how cute their shoes are or how I love their haircut. This girl wants to know that I think she looks hot holding a gun.”
She arched an eyebrow at me. “Don’t say ‘most girls,’ Ethan. This society, this world, was built around what men think, and the way they want girls to be. I would be willing to bet that a lot of women would love to know that their strength and confidence was a turn-on.”
I’d been dating for a while. And in my twenty-seven years, I’d had a lot of fun with a lot of different types of women. I’d been friends with a few women, too – mostly ones I couldn’t date, like my best friends’ sisters - and not a single one of them had ever taken me to task on the way I complimented her and all womankind.
Instead of feeling chastised, I felt incredible. I felt energized, surprised, and challenged by the new and unexpected things that came out of Natalia’s mouth every single day. All of a sudden, the most overwhelming feeling washed over me - I wanted more from her. I wanted tomorrow, and the day after that, and the one after that. My arms tightened around Natalia, pulling her close to me.
“Mmm,” she said, her voice all relaxed pleasure. “I’ve gotta say, I’m surprised you’re not grabbing my boobs. I’d say ninety-eight percent of straight men would be going in for round two right about now. While we were already both naked.”
“Then you know that I’m not most men,” I countered, barely finding words in time to avoid sounding like a stammering idiot. “This is ‘my’ date, and it is not time for round two. It is time to cuddle up and watch a movie with you in fluffy pajamas.”
“And then round two?” I couldn’t tell if she sounded teasing or hopeful.
“Maybe. Depends how you’re feeling after my choice of film.”
“And what might that be?”
I gripped her waist and hoisted her a little off my lap, moving her to another side of the tub so I could climb out, grab us towels, and offer her my hand. When we were both wrapped up, she wrung out her hair, plopping a fat stream of rapidly chilling water on my foot. I yelped, so
unding horribly like a middle-aged lady, then pulled her laughing body to me. God, I just wanted her in my arms. I hadn’t felt like this with a girl in as long as I could remember. But I resisted, holding her out at arm’s length for dramatic effect. “I’m shocked you haven’t guessed, given the earlier events of our date.”
She groaned. “We’re not watching a porn.”
“Of course not,” I said. “We’re watching Police Academy.”
* * *
“Why are we watching Police Academy 3?” Natalia groused. As if she’d seen any of them. As if the actual movie mattered when we were snuggled up under a blanket like this, exchanging light kisses, letting our hands wander over each other’s bodies.
The Pizzeria Capelli box lay askew on the floor, with only a single piece left. Natalia had housed at least three slices, and watched me do the same plus one more. Then she’d kissed me, long and hard, and declared a new rule that if one of us was going to eat garlicky food the other had to as well, because she wanted “full tongue-use privileges.” The expression had drawn a laugh from deep inside me, and I felt more wholly myself than I had for a long time.
I’d notched myself into a corner of the couch and spread my legs wide enough to cradle her muscled curves between them. It was simply incredible to hold her like this, touching all of her with all of me, all at once. I could take my time appreciating her, run my fingertips over the skin of her waist or wind a strand of her hair around my finger in the same moment I thought of it. I’d never been a possessive guy – I’d liked dating other women, but never before felt this peace while holding them in the circle of my arms. Never once had this urge to wrap one of them in my embrace and call them mine.
Natalia was different, in every way.
I nestled my nose behind her ear, letting my lips brush her neck and breathing in the scent of her shampoo. Her hair was thick and soft, with huge, gentle waves. “Because I am only bringing the best to the dates I plan for us. And it’s common knowledge that Police Academy 3 is the best Police Academy.”
Natalia snorted and scooted her butt further back, craning her neck so she could brush a kiss along my jaw. God, this was heaven.
“So you’re telling me that this incredibly long motorboat chase with ridiculous music is the best this movie series has to offer? Out of all, what? Four of them?”
“Please, Natalia. You wound me,” I said, curling my fingers into her side and tickling her gently. She squeaked and nestled further back into me. “There are seven, and yes, this is the best one. That doesn’t mean any of them are good.”
She groaned into a laugh, which made me grin. “The motorboat scene,” I continued, “has the very specific purpose of giving us a window to graduate from light kissing to full-on making out. And whatever else you may request.”
“You make this sound like a restaurant, where I can order up anything I want from you,” she replied. I didn’t miss that her voice had gone deeper, a little breathless. That feeling, of being able to do that to her – I wished I could bottle it. Being with her like this made me feel invincible.
“That’s exactly what this is,” I said, chancing an open-mouthed kiss at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. “Tell me what you want.”
Natalia laughed softly. “I don’t think you’re going to like this,” she said.
“Of course I will. I’m with you.” Cheesy, but I meant every word.
“Well, I don’t necessarily want to, but my body wants to sleep,” she said, followed by a perfectly timed jaw stretching yawn. “My shoulders are sore,” she said. She turned her torso to watch my reaction.
“Okay,” I said, moving my hands from her waist to her shoulders and giving them a long, slow rub down her arms. She moaned in a way that sounded almost identical to the first sounds she made when I kissed my way down her body. Sexy as hell, but I was tired too. I only felt the smallest stirring in nether regions at the sound. “So, let’s get you to bed, and maybe a back rub?”
“Ethan, you don’t have to,” Natalia said, even as her eyebrows pulled up hopefully.
I gripped her waist again and hoisted her up and over to the other couch cushion, swung my legs down, and in one fluid motion, scooped her off the couch and strode to the bed, where I laid her down. Natalia sank into the comforter and moaned again, flipping over and muffling the sound in the pillow. Her round ass curved up tantalizingly, and I wanted my body to be flush with hers again more than anything in the world. I climbed over her, straddling her back, and readied my hands for a massage.
* * *
“Ethan,” she whined, “What are you doing?”
“Giving you a shoulder massage?” I ventured.
“In jeans? For goodness’ sake, take them off.”
“Tali,” I said, my voice gruff with warning, “if I take these jeans off and get in this bed, it’s going to be very, very hard for me to leave.”
“Oh. Right.” She swallowed and studied my face. “I get it if you don’t want to stay –”
“Oh, babe, I want to. The only thing I don’t want is to presume things.”
“I like having you here,” she said softly. She shrugged with one of her sore shoulders. “It was a nice date. Will you stay?”
She hadn’t even gotten the last word out before I’d jumped out of bed and yanked my jeans off. I’d never been a stupid man. I didn’t need to be asked twice.
“This doesn’t mean you’ve changed my mind,” she said, moaning again when my hands covered her naked shoulders.
“About what?” I asked innocently, smirking at how happy Natalia seemed to be having a night in, watching a stupid movie, and eating pizza. Ending with a backrub in bed, I couldn’t think of a more normal, safe way to date someone you were interested in. Someone you wanted to spend a lot more dates with.
“If you want to keep dating me,” she grunted as I dug a thumb into her trapezius, “the next date is mine. That means big adventure. It’s going to be more intense than shooting guns at the Academy,” she warned, punctuating it with a whimper when I flattened my palms and swept them from her neck to below her shoulder blades. “I love your hands,” she said. That simple sentiment had my heart clenching, then bleeding warmth through my chest.
“Yes, I know,” I said. I squeezed her shoulders a few more times for good measure. Her eyelids were drooping, the pauses between blinks getting longer and longer. Slowly, I moved out of my straddle to lay beside her, sliding my body under the covers and then gently tugging them from under her limp body and over her. I pulled her to me, and she practically purred as she let her limbs mold to mine.
“You know what?” she asked, her words heavy and slow with fatigue. “That I love your hands or that the next date is a crazy one?”
“Both,” I said. I brushed a kiss across her forehead. I actually hadn’t known that she loved my hands, but I was damn overjoyed to hear it. Maybe, somewhere, I loved that she was getting attached to me, any part.
“And you still wanna stay the night?” she mumbled into my chest.
“There’s nothing in the world I want more,” I said, only lying a little bit as I pulled her even closer. Her body grew heavy with sleep, and for that one moment, I was the most hopeful man in the world.
Chapter 19
Natalia
I told myself that this would be the last time Ethan would stay over for a long, long while. This relationship was, by definition, in a testing phase. The morning after our Police Academy date, I woke with the warm, reassuring weight of Ethan’s body stretched out behind mine, fitted to it like a custom mouthguard, his arm draped over my waist, his fingers just barely brushing my belly under the camisole I’d fallen asleep in.
I never slept in. I wanted to get up, to train, to learn, to grow, to accomplish something while the sun was up. Every day. I was that annoying morning person who never hit snooze. In my whole life, I hadn’t really even taken much care to pick out bedding. I didn’t care, because I wasn’t going to spend much time in my bed, anyway.
<
br /> I’d only ever had two other boyfriends I allowed to sleep in the same bed as me. One of them snored, and the other kicked. But Ethan… Ethan. Ethan just fit. Perfectly. He wasn’t snoring, wasn’t making it hard for me to breathe. I wasn’t covered in sweat. He hadn’t hogged the blankets. The best – or worst – part was that his skin against mine sent my brain into overdrive, remembering what it was like to have him inside me, within seconds.
Yep. There it was. He was quicksand and I was putting myself in very serious danger of getting trapped for good. Being trapped meant I’d stay with him – for months, or maybe years – and that meant I’d have to change my goals, give up my dreams. Being at The Knockout had already derailed that enough. That was enough to get me out of bed.
With every cell of my skin protesting against the chill that detaching from Ethan caused, I slid out of bed and stood there, arms crossed, watching him. The muscles in his forearm flexed lazily as he slid it over the sheet where I’d just been laying, and his eyebrows furrowed when he didn’t find me. His fists clenched around my pillow and he pulled it to him, sniffing what would have been my head. I smiled. My shampoo must really have had a distinctive scent.
But a smell wasn’t enough to satisfy Ethan, apparently, because after a couple seconds, he shoved the pillow back to its spot and felt around for a few more futile seconds before dragging his eyes open. His lids, with their thick black lashes, looked like they weighed ten pounds each. The effort he seemed to be using to open them made me pity him; I bent down and rested my hand against his cheek, running my thumb gently over his eyelid. “Hey, sleepyhead, I’ve gotta get down to the gym. Client,” I lied swiftly, knowing that the class schedule was online.
I bit my lip, hoping my voice didn’t betray that I was trying like hell to get away from him right now. If I got back in bed with him, which my body wanted to do so very badly, I might never get out. Well, not for a few days. And by then I might be completely, hopelessly in love with this guy who was convinced he could get me to live a safe, calm life after a few dates and some sex.
Just Let Go Page 13
