by Lane Hart
“Will she come back to the house when I’m here?” he questions. “Are you going to kiss her again?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I respond.
“Why not?”
“That’s a long, complicated story,” I tell him. Then a thought hits me. “Do you miss Marcie? I mean, Mom?”
Shrugging a small shoulder, he says, “Not really. She didn’t come around much, so I can’t miss her if I don’t see her.”
“That’s true,” I reply, thinking he’s wise beyond his years.
“So why did you kiss Nova and not Mom?” Ren asks. “Aren’t dads supposed to kiss moms?”
“Yes,” I agree. “But only if the moms and dads are still together, and you know Mom hasn’t lived here in years.”
“If you keep kissing Nova, can she live here?” he asks.
“I’m not going to keep kissing Nova, and she’s not going to live here.”
“Why not?”
“Lots of reasons,” I say.
“Then will you kiss another woman, so she can come live with us?”
Smiling, I tell him, “Probably not.”
“Why?”
“Mostly because I worry that we’ll both start to really like a woman, and if she stops liking me, then she’ll leave and never come back. I don’t want us to be sad, you know?”
“But you’re already sad now. And what if she doesn’t ever stop liking you? Then I’ll have a new mom who lives with me, like all the other kids.”
My son is so optimistic, it hurts. I guess we all used to be that way before life threw so many piles of shit on us that we gave up. I wish he could have both parents like I did. I’ve decided, though, that I won’t give Marcie another chance at being Ren’s mother after she gets out of prison. Even if he longs for the role she was never able to fill, it will be the best thing for him.
Ready to change the subject, I skip a response to his last question and ask, “So, what do you want to do tomorrow, buddy?”
He tilts his head and thinks about it for several seconds. “Can I go see Becky and Laura?” he asks, referring to his daycare teachers. “I missed my friends at school too.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “How about you and I find something fun to do tomorrow morning, and then in the afternoon, I’ll let you hang out with Becky, Laura, and your friends for a little while?”
“After they have naptime?” he questions, since he’s not a fan of naps.
“Deal,” I agree, offering him a fist bump that he hits.
It feels so damn good to have my little man back with me at home.
But for some reason, the place still seems a little empty.
And Ren’s right. It does smell like Nova.
Chapter Thirty-One
War
“Sorry to drag you away from Lexi and the baby,” I tell Torin when the two of us sit down at the Savage Kings’ table with the door to the chapel shut before everyone else gets here.
“I’m guessing it must be pretty important since you did it anyway,” he responds with a grin.
“Yeah, it is. And it’s bad.”
“How bad?” he asks, face hardening.
“There’s a federal criminal investigation on the Kings.”
Torin’s jaw clenches before he asks, “All of us? A particular charter? What else do you know?”
“They’re coming after us, our charter,” I tell him.
“Fuck!” he exclaims. Reaching for his gavel, he throws it against the wall on the other side of the room so hard it snaps in half.
“I’m sorry,” I say, even though I know it doesn’t do a damn bit of good.
“How? Why?” he seethes.
“All I know is that a U.S. Attorney is involved…and somehow, Nova.”
“Nova?” he asks. “What the hell does she have to do with this? Didn’t she help you get your kid back?”
“Yeah, she did,” I agree. “But she also knew that an ADA here had contacted the U.S. Attorney about us a month ago…”
“A fucking month ago?” he bellows as he gets to his feet so quickly his chair slams against the wall behind him. “Why the fuck am I just hearing about this now?”
“She didn’t tell me until yesterday, okay?” I assure him. “This is what I was calling you about!”
“What the hell was she waiting for? Them to bust down our doors and take us all away in goddamn handcuffs?” he yells, so loudly the guys upstairs can probably hear him. “I’ve got two kids now and an old lady depending on me. I can’t leave them!”
For some stupid reason, I feel defensive on Nova’s behalf, even though this is all her fault. Or at least, partially.
“Nova said she didn’t tell me because she didn’t know if they were serious or just all talk. And she didn’t want to dump more shit on me while I was dealing with the custody battle.”
After pacing a few times in the space between his chair and the table, Torin finally reaches for the back of his chair and pulls it forward to sit down again.
“What the fuck are we gonna do? What am I gonna tell these guys?” he asks, gesturing to the empty chairs.
“I have no idea,” I tell him honestly. “But they need to know we’re probably being watched, so that they can keep their noses clean. Maybe it’s nothing. For now, all we can do is stay on the right side of the law and wait.”
“Wait,” Torin spits out, shaking his head. “This is all my fucking fault. It’s about Hector and the shit last year, isn’t it?”
“I honestly don’t know,” I reply, even though I figure that’s most likely what caught the feds’ attention.
“I swear, it’s one damn thing after another around here,” he grumbles.
“Amen, brother,” I agree.
The two of us are silent for the next few minutes, lost in our own thoughts. Me? I’m picturing the worst-case scenario—me and my brothers being lined up, in handcuffs and orange jumpsuits. And poor Ren. How fucked up for him will it be if both of his parents end up behind bars? My sister’s life would be over before she even graduates if she has to become his guardian.
“What about you and Nova?” Torin asks into the silent room.
“What about us?” I say in confusion at the random question.
“You two were pretty hot and heavy the last few weeks…”
“So? We’re fucking done now.”
“Done?” he repeats. “You broke things off with her after she helped you get your kid back?”
“Well, yeah,” I answer. “How can I trust her now? She put the feds on the Kings and waited a damn month to tell me!”
“You said the fed shit is on the ADA, right?” Torin asks. “And Nova gave you a heads-up eventually.”
“Too little, too late,” I mutter. “Sure, being with her this last month was great, but it was just sex and mostly just a distraction. I’m not looking for anything more…”
“Yeah, I get it. You’re not a casual kind of guy,” Torin agrees. “That’s why I thought you hadn’t been dating lately.”
“Exactly,” I say. “How can I trust a woman enough to bring her in Ren’s life when she could turn out to be a fucking nightmare, like Marcie, or up and leave…”
“You gonna stay a nun until Ren goes off to college?” Torin jokes.
“Pretty much. What other choice do I have?”
“Just because it didn’t work with Marcie, doesn’t mean it won’t with Nova,” he tells me. “She’s a different kind of woman. Marcie was never the settling down type, and you knew it. Hell, everyone in the MC knew it because we had all fucked her at some time or another.”
“Everyone?” I ask.
“Yeah, man. Even I was with her before I met Kennedy,” he admits with a cringe.
“No shit?”
“Sorry. I didn’t tell you because it was before you prospected, so it was old news.”
“Jesus,” I sigh, scrubbing my palms over my face.
“But Nova seems like she would be a good mother, you know?” Torin says.
“You thin
k so?” I ask, remembering that, back when we first met, and she mentioned not being able to have kids, she brought up adoption.
“Shit, yeah,” Torin replies. “You know she interviewed me, asked me about how you are as a father. I swear, she’s almost as protective as you are over Ren.”
“You’re calling her trying to take him from me being protective?” I huff.
“She was doing her job and trying to do what she thought was best for him under the circumstances. And can you really blame her?” he asks. “Why else do you keep him and Audrey from the club unless you know it’s a bad combo? And yeah, after what happened with Kennedy and the baby, I get why you do that. I’m sure you’re right. If I had kept Kennedy in the dark, away from the MC, maybe she would still be alive. But my old lady didn’t want me to keep her away because she knew it was a big part of my life.”
“It’s good to see you finally putting some of the blame on Kennedy,” I tell him.
“I’m not blaming her, I’m just starting to remember who she was and what she wanted…” he explains.
“A hundred percent,” I reply. “That’s how much she wanted to be involved.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t see Nova ever being all-in with the MC.”
“And she doesn’t have to be,” Torin tells me. “Audrey and Ren aren’t a part of this world and you still have them in your life. If you both want it to work, it can.”
“Where’s Lexi fall on the spectrum?” I ask him curiously.
“Fuck, I wish she had a different upbringing. To her, the MC is like the damn Boy Scouts compared to growing up with Hector Cruz as her father.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s sort of true,” I admit with a chuckle, thinking it’s ironic that both of his women are so much alike, and it drives him crazy.
“So, what it all comes down to is, can you forgive Nova for doing her job and the small part she played in getting the federal heat on us? And if so, do you care about her enough to take the chance that she could not only crush you, but Little Warren too?” he asks.
“I honestly don’t know if I can trust anyone after Marcie.”
“Then you better decide before she moves on.”
“I’m trying!” I huff. “It’s only been a day. I’m still trying to wrap my head around her lying to me for a month.”
“Come on, man. You know what you want to do. If you were still up in the air, then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”
“It’s good to see you back to your know-it-all self again,” I joke with him.
“I always knew it all. I just didn’t give enough of a shit to share my wisdom there for a while,” Torin replies with a grin. “Let’s get the guys in here to break the news to them, and figure out what we’re gonna do. Because I will come up with a solution to this shit,” he says, jabbing his index finger in the table.
“I know you will,” I tell him honestly. If anyone can figure out how to get us out of some heat, it’s our president. He’s got too much to lose now to let anyone, even the feds, take it from him.
“Oh, one other thing,” I say, catching Torin before he opens the door. “We need to vote on patching in Maddox soon. I’ve been holding off until after the baby was born because I knew you were under enough stress, but…I’m ready to nominate him.”
“Glad you reminded me. And I’m sure he’ll get the vote,” he replies. “We’ll just have to tell him about the shit with the feds, and let him decide if he still wants to throw in.”
“I think he will,” I agree.
“Then let’s tell him to help vet and train us some new prospects to handle our grunt work, and we’ll patch that son of a bitch in,” Torin agrees with a grin.
“Sounds good,” I tell him, happy that something good will happen for at least one of us. I owe that much to Maddox, after he did me a solid by keeping Audrey safe during the storm.
If only I could decide whether or not I want to forgive Nova. Do I want to risk finally having a shot at something good for myself?
Chapter Thirty-Two
Nova
As I sit in the middle of my small, shitty shack, I can’t help but think back to a few weeks ago, when I was lonely and miserable because I barely had a penny to my name.
Now, here I am, in the same shack, debt-free, and with enough money in my bank account to not only eat this week but pay rent for at least three months. Despite all that, I think I’m even more alone and depressed than before.
Turns out, money doesn’t buy happiness.
And there’s no amount of money that will repair the damage I did to War.
I knew he had trust issues with women because of his ex-wife, and still I kept an important secret from him.
That amazing man was the type that only comes around once in a woman’s lifetime, and I screwed it up.
That’s just my luck, isn’t it?
When there’s a sudden knock on my door, I can’t even begin to guess who it might be at eight o’clock at night on a Thursday.
Imagine my surprise when I pull it open…and come face-to-face with not one Warren, but two.
“Hey, Miss Nova!” Ren says excitedly before he launches himself at me, hugging me around my waist.
“Hi!” I reply when I hug him back, even though I’m speechless. “I-I didn’t know you were coming over, or I would have…” I swipe my fingers under each eye to wipe away the smudged mascara from where I’ve been crying.
“You would’ve pushed all the furniture against the walls to make room for the two of us?” War asks, the expression on his face dead serious.
“Um, yeah,” I mutter, stepping aside to let them enter. “Come in.”
“This place is too small,” Ren says as he glances around. “My treehouse is bigger.”
“You sound just like your father,” I tell him before I look up at War’s face again, trying to read it and figure out what the heck they’re doing here.
“Because he’s smart,” War replies. Then he simply says, “Ren missed you.”
“Oh. Well, I missed you too, buddy,” I say, reaching over to ruffle his hair.
“Thanks for calling me buddy and not baby. I’m almost five,” Ren informs me.
“That’s right. Your birthday is this weekend, isn’t it?” I ask with a smile.
“Will you come to my party?” he asks.
“Ah, sure. If that’s okay with your dad,” I respond.
“He’s okay with it,” Ren answers for his father. “He misses you too. His forehead’s been wrinkled for two straight days. It finally unwrinkled when you opened the door.”
“Oh really?” I ask, not bothering to hide my smile when War rolls his eyes.
“Yeah. I think he’s missed kissing you,” Ren adds in a loud whisper. “Is that why you came over to our house? To kiss him?”
“How did you—” I start to ask War, my eyes wide in concern, when he answers it for me.
“Ren says the house smells like you. And…I do miss kissing you,” he replies.
“Told you so!” Ren taunts. Then he walks the two steps over to my fridge and pulls it open. “You should come eat dinner with us tomorrow, since you don’t have any food.”
“I need to go to the store,” I say in my defense. Then, holding War’s gaze, I tell him, “I actually have plenty of money for once, thanks to someone’s generous donation.”
“Still, we would like it if you came over for dinner tomorrow night,” War says.
“Okay,” I agree.
“Then I guess it’s a date,” he replies.
“It’s a date,” I agree, even though it would be nice if War and I could have a few moments to ourselves, so I could figure out if he’s forgiven me or if this is all just about Ren wanting me around. I thought he didn’t want to date anyone in front of Ren. Does he think I’m worth taking a chance on, after all?
“Good, we’ll see you then,” War says, as he puts a hand on Ren’s shoulder to guide him toward the door. He reaches for the door knob
and then turns around to add, “It’s a long drive over here, especially in the dark, isn’t it, Ren? Maybe Nova should pack a bag tomorrow, in case she wants to sleep over instead of driving all the way back…”
“Yeah! Let’s have a sleepover!” Ren agrees. “Please, Nova? It’ll be like when we stayed at the hotel.”
“S-sure,” I agree, reading War’s message loud and clear.
He not only forgives me, but he can’t wait to get me back in his bed.
More importantly, he’s taking a chance on letting me be a part of Ren’s life, which means so much to me I can barely hold back my tears.
It looks like my bad luck is finally starting to change.
Epilogue
War
“Thanks for agreeing to come with me today,” I tell Nova as she joins me in my kitchen. She’s wearing an old bathrobe and has her hair wrapped up in a towel, fresh from the shower. She’s been staying with Ren and I every night for the last few weeks. Seeing her this morning, looking so cozy here with us, makes my chest feel tight and swollen, as though my love might explode and illuminate the entire house.
“I’m almost ready.” She smiles as she leans into me for a kiss. “I can’t wait to see how Ren is doing in kindergarten. I know his teachers are going to gush over how smart and kind he is. You’ve been such a good example to him.”
Going quiet, she steps back from me, her forehead crinkling briefly as she glances out the window over the sink.
“What’s on your mind?” I ask her, recognizing this pensive expression all too well.
“Are you really okay with this?” she asks as she wraps me up in a hug. “You know I love him so much, but with everything you’ve been through, I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“Nothing about you makes me uncomfortable, Nova. Ren adores you, and so do I. I listed you on the school paperwork as his emergency contact, right beside my own name. You’ve shown me you’re all-in with me and my son, and I love you so much for it…”
She interrupts me with another kiss, this one more heated as I pull the front of her bathrobe open and wrap my arms around her. She grinds her bare flesh against me, but then places her hands on my chest and gently pushes back.
