by Nikki Brown
“Jenacia’s pregnant?” He nodded his head with the biggest smile on his face. “Oh my goodness, I’m so happy, I’m gonna be a grandma.” I couldn’t describe what I was feeling at the moment, but it trumped any ill feelings that I walked away from Chelley’s door with.
“I knew that would make your day. But don’t say anything, we got an appointment today and after we get some info from the doctor I’ll tell everybody.”
“Now damn it Kayson, you know I don’t like to hold shit like that in, I wanted to damn celebrate.” He laughed but I didn’t find shit funny.
“Chill man, the appointment is in a few hours so I’m sure you’ll be fine until then.”
“Fine.”
“I love you, Ann Barnes.”
“I love you too, son.”
He helped me in the car and then he walked back in the house with Chelley. Kayson was a smart boy, so I knew he would be okay. I just hoped that bitch didn’t try and use him. She didn’t want to see me mad.
Chapter Forty-Two
Kayson
As bad as I wanted to mad at Mama I knew I couldn’t, she was only trying to do what was best for me and at the time telling me that Unc was really my daddy wasn’t the best thing for me. I hate that they felt like they had to keep that from me. I loved and trusted the both of them, so I knew there were no ill intentions.
Seeing mama here raised a whole bunch of red flags. I knew how she could be when she felt threatened, so when I pulled up and saw her neck going I just knew she was about to cause a scene. I knew she was worried about how I felt with all of this because that’s just how she was. She loved her boys and she was gonna do whatever she needed to do to protect us.
I was still trying to figure out why I was here in the first place, in a way I wanted answers as to why she just left me in that hospital to fend for myself and on the other hand I didn’t give a fuck, because her doing that placed me with Mama. I didn’t even know if I was gonna be able to handle the answer that may come out of her mouth, but I was here now and there was no turning back.
I looked through the ID’s we got from that day at the trap, found who I now know as my sister’s and that’s how I got the address. Even if I never had a relationship with Chelley, I would like to get to know my sister. She was just as innocent in this as I was. I would see how everything goes, I knew deep down I still harbored some ill feelings towards her, but not enough not to be here if that makes sense.
I got to the door and I turned around to see Mama still sitting in the parking lot looking at me. I shook my head and laughed, took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
“It’s open.” Chelley yelled.
I walked in and looked around, it was your typical hood apartment, it had the bare necessities, but it was clean and that was a good sign. I put my hands in my pockets and just kind of stood there in an uncomfortable silence.
“Have a seat, son.” I didn’t know how I felt about her calling me son, but I would just let her have that. I just didn’t want her to expect me to call her mom or no shit like that. I already gotta mama and she was a fucking handful. “I’m so glad you decided to stop by, I’ve been thinking about you since that day at the Chicken Coop.”
“Oh yeah?” my eyes were glues to the ground.
“Yeah, I have, I know I left you all those years ago, but I was in no position to take care of you, so I did the best thing for you. I walked out of your life. Now things are different, and I want us to have some kind of relationship, if that’s okay with you?” She said softly, and I looked up at her for the first time since I stepped in the apartment.
“I guess I understand that.” I shrugged and completely ignored what she said about wanting to have a relationship. I didn’t know if I was ready for that. This was a big step for me and I needed to adjust to it first. The room fell silent again.
“Well, tell me about you.” She picked the conversation back up.
“Nothing really to tell, I’m 25 my birthday is in November.”
“I know when your birthday is Kayson.”
I shrugged my shoulders, hell I didn’t know what she knew about me. From my understanding her ass was high out her mind when she had me, so she might have forgotten.
“Go on,” I could tell that she felt some kind of way, but she would be okay.
“I got three brothers and I got a beautiful girlfriend named Jenacia, no kids, yet.” I smiled so hard when I said that just thinking about the baby growing inside Jenacia.
“You said yet.” She raised her eyebrows. “You telling me that you’re about to make me a grandmother?”
“Nah I ain’t saying that because my son will only have one grandmother. No offense, but I don’t even know you. Ann Barnes is the woman who raised me into the man that I am today, so if anyone gets those bragging rights it’s her.”
She didn’t care for what I said, I could tell by the look on her face but when she noticed that I was staring at her she changed it up.
“I guess I understand that.”
“You really don’t have a choice in the matter.” I was starting to get upset how she just thought that she was just gonna interject her way into my life that fast. I should have never come here. I thought and then I stood up to leave until the front door opened and one of the main reasons that I was here walked through the door.
“Hey, Ma.” Kaylin said as she walked in the house. She was looking down at her phone, so she didn’t even realize that I was in the house, when she looked up and saw me her eyes got big.
“Say hey to your brother.”
“Hey,” she waved. “Nice to meet you.” She walked over and sat down beside Chelley.
I couldn’t help but to stare at her, she looked so much like me it was crazy, “You look like me.” I couldn’t take my eyes off her, my sister was beautiful.
She laughed, “I know, that day I saw you at my friend’s house, it freaked me out. I knew I had a brother so when I saw you, I knew exactly who you were.”
“You knew about me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Well, I wasn’t exactly in the position to do so, you know with you and your brothers waving their guns around and shooting people.” She shrugged her shoulders and Chelley gasped and put her hands over her mouth.
I chuckled because it was who I was so the fact that she saw that didn’t bother me, I’m just glad that she knows what I’m capable of now, so we won’t have an issue later in life when we do build a relationship.
“You mean when you were damn near naked in a room full of niggas.” I got mad just thinking about what they were doing to her or how many times she had been there. Now that I know she was my little sister some shit is gonna change whether she liked it or not.
“I was hanging out with my friends.”
“Maybe you need to find new friends.” I raised my eyebrows ‘cause that shit ain’t nowhere for a—“How old are you?”
“17.”
“Oh hell no.” I said louder than I intended. “Some shit about to change and quick.”
“You are not my father, you didn’t even know about me ‘til a few days ago.” She sassed.
“I never said I was your father, but I know how them niggas work and trust me they were gonna fuck you and throw you to the wolves. And you right, I didn’t know about you, but I do now, and I promise you that shit is gonna change whether you want it to or not, that just how shit is. You’ll get to know me, and you’ll hate me but that’s okay, you’ll love and respect me though.” I smiled at her pretty face. “I can’t wait ‘til my brothers meet you.”
She didn’t say anything she just kinda sat there. It was crazy how just a few days ago it was just me and my brothers and now I have a little sister. The big brother role came easy to me because I’ve had to do it all my life; it’s just now I was throwing a girl into the mix.
“I gotta go take Jenacia to the doctor, give me your number and I’ll hit you up. Maybe you can come
hang out with me one day.” She handed me her phone and I put my number it and called myself so that I would have hers. Chelley sat on the couch with a smile on her face at the exchange that just happened between me and Kaylin. I didn’t bother getting her number because I knew that it was gonna take me a minute to warm up to her. “Here.” I said as I dug into my pockets and pulled out a wad of money and threw it at Kaylin. “Go get you some clothes and shoes, whatever girls blow money on.” This shit was so new to me it was crazy. “I’ll get at you later and aye,” I turned to look her in the eye. “Stay the fuck away from the trap house and as soon as I get over there they will all know that you are my sister and they are to stay the fuck away from you.”
“Don’t do that.” She said with her pretty face all scrunched up.
“Watch me,” was all I said before I walked over to her and pulled her up from the couch and pulled her into a hug. “I love yo' little ass already.” She hugged me back and I kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll see y’all later, and call me if you need anything, aight?” She nodded her head and I headed out the door.
The feeling that I was feeling right now I couldn’t explain it. It was like I had an instant connection with her. It was like she had been in my life forever already. I jumped in my car to head to Jenacia; I was ready to hear more about my seed. This was a good ass day. I don’t think anything could ruin this day.
Chapter Forty-Three
Jenacia
We were sitting in the office of my doctor waiting to be called back, and Kayson was telling me all about the visit that he had with Chelley, his birth mother, and his sister. He bragged about how cute she was and that she looked just like him. I just wanted him to be careful, because he didn’t know them like that and I didn’t want him to get hurt. I knew how Kayson could be with family. He would go all in for them, and with Kaylin being a girl she would have him wrapped around her finger. I just hope their intentions are pure.
“Did you hear what I said Jen?”
“Yes baby, I heard you, I’m happy for you and I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Why you say it like that?”
“Like what, don’t you start with yo’ paranoid ass.” I laughed.
“For real, tell me what’s on ya mind.”
“I just want you to be careful until you get to know them.”
“You sound like Mama.” He rolled his eyes in the back of his head and I laughed.
“When has Ann Barnes ever been wrong?” I raised a brow and he didn’t say anything. “Exactly, I’m not saying don’t get to know her, I want you to do that. I just want you to be careful while you do, until you know them like you know your brothers.” I shrugged.
“I know; I just love her little ass already. I don’t know what it was, but I felt an instant connection with her.” He stopped and looked around. “I sound like a bitch.” He said loud enough for everybody to look in our direction. I laughed and then the nurse called us to go back.
I had been going to the same doctor for years; he had been seeing me for as long as I had been seeing a gynecologist. I was comfortable with him and I was excited that he would be handling my pregnancy. We got all my vitals and I gave her the urine sample and she told us that she would be back shortly so that we could get started.
“So, what they about to do?” Kayson asked looking around messing with shit.
“He’s gonna examine me, make sure I don’t have no diseases or infections that could harm the baby—”
“You better not have shit, ‘cause I know my dick clean, Jenacia don’t make me fuck you up.” He pointed at me.
“Shut the hell up Kayson, they have to do it. It’s procedure.”
“Oh.” He said finally sitting down in the chair beside the bed, I just shook my head.
A little while later the nurse came back and said that we would do the ultrasound first because the room would be in use later and we needed to see how far along I was.
“Alright, Jenacia when was your last period?”
“End of July around July 23rd.” I nodded my head remembering when the last time I had to buy pads.
“Okay, so that would put you right at about 9 weeks so we will have to it transvaginal.”
“Trans what?” Kayson yelled, and I gave him a look that warned him not to embarrass me and of course he ignored it and continued his questioning. “The fuck you mean transvaggy or whatever the hell you said.” The nurse laughed.
“We take this.” The nurse picked up the wand that was already covered with the finger condom thing with the jelly. “And it’s gotta little camera on the end and we insert it into the vagina so that we can see the baby.”
“Nah that shit on TV, they just do it on the stomach.”
“Yes, later in the pregnancy after 12 weeks we will do it that way, but right now the baby is too small to be seen without getting a transvaginal ultrasound. The little one is still tucked away in the pelvic area.”
Kayson gave a skeptical look but finally nodded his head. The nurse went to get Dr. Miller and they came back in.
“Hi Jenacia, how are you?”
“I’m good, Dr. Miller.”
“And you are dad?” He reached his hand out to shake Kayson’s.
“Yep.” He smiled big.
“Alright, well let’s get started, if you would put your feet in the stirrups and scoot all the way to the edge of the bed.” I did what was asked of me and I could see Kayson mugging Dr. Miller from the chair beside me. “Okay, now I’m gonna go ahead and get your pap okay.”
“Okay.”
“You’re gonna feel some pressure.”
“If that’s what you’re using she’ll be fine, she’s used to much bigger.” Dr. Miller and the nurse laughed, and I just glared at him. Dr. Miller got what he needed for the pap.
“Okay now let’s look and listen to baby.”
I smiled and got excited at I watched the nurse turn on the big screen that was directly in front of me so that I could see what they were seeing. He inserted the wand in me and moved it around a little.
“There we go—oh,” Dr. Miller said and both me and Kayson sat up.
“What’s wrong?” I was scared that something was wrong.
“Well it could be good news.” He smiled. “I see two fetuses.”
“What?” Kayson and I said in unison.
“You are pregnant with twins. Now let me get a few measurements, listen to their heart beats, and then I’ll get you a few pictures.”
I looked at Kayson, who had a smile on his face. I was terrified. I was already scared to become a mother, now I would have to carry two babies. And this fool was sitting here laughing. I wanted to cry but I held it in.
“Baby A’s heartbeat.” Dr. Miller instructed us and once I heard that beautiful sound it brought tears to my eyes and every doubt that I just had went out the window. “And Baby B,” he said as we listened to the heartbeats. Kayson grabbed my hand and kissed me on the forehead.
“Thank you, baby.” He whispered.
Once we were all done in the ultrasound room we went back into the regular room so that we could we could talk about everything else. I was still a bit nervous, but I was starting to get excited too.
“Is it okay to discuss your medical history with dad?”
“Yes,” we said in unison and I rolled my eyes at Kayson because I could have sworn that was a question for me.
He went through all my medical history and I answered all his questions and until he got to the dreadful question that I forgot all about. I knew there was a reason why I didn’t want Kayson at the first visit, FUCK!
“This is your second pregnancy correct?” Dr. Miller asked because he was the one who checked me out last year when we had that slip up.
“Nah, first.” Kayson answered for me and Dr. Miller looked at me sympathetically.
The tears started to roll down my face immediately. I knew I should have told him a long time ago, but me and Kayson were in such a bad place. I was not in the positio
n to be a single mother and I knew he wasn’t ready to settle down to be a father. So, I did what I thought was best for the both of us.
“Jenacia, do you two need a minute?” That’s what I liked about Dr. Miller, he wasn’t one of those doctors that was always in a rush. He actually cared about his patients. I nodded my head at him and he got up and walked out of the room. I said a silent prayer that Kayson would understand where I was coming from.
“What the fuck is going on Jenacia? You were pregnant by that bitch nigga and didn’t tell me? I told yo’ ass to always strap the fuck up.” He was mad because he thought that I was pregnant by someone else, so I can only imagine what he would do if he knew that the baby was his. My first mind was to lie, but I couldn’t do him like that I loved him too much.
“No Kayson, remember last year when—”
“You got pregnant?”
“Yes, but let me ex—”
“So, where is the baby?” He stood up and faced me and I lost it. I put my face in my hands and I just sobbed uncontrollably. Kayson was beyond mad because he did not once try and console me. I got myself together enough to talk to him, when I looked in his eyes I saw nothing, not one ounce of emotion. “Where is the baby? Is that why you dodged me after that?”
“I had an abortion.” I said barely over a whisper.
“Come again?”
I raised my head and looked him dead in the eye. “I had an abortion.” This time I spoke loud and clear. I had been holding that secret in for a while and I felt somewhat of a relief walking in that truth.
He shook his head. “You’re no better than her.” He put his hands in his pockets; I knew that to mean that he was trying not to flip out. “You are no better than Chelley.”
“Kayson that’s not fair, you don’t understand. I was not in a position to be a mother and you were running the streets fucking like 40 going north. I was not trying to be a single mother.”
