by Katie Ashley
Pastor Dan smiled. “You’re very welcome. Come back anytime.”
“Thanks.”
Maddie walked me to the door. As I started off the porch, I looked back. “So I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”
A small expression of surprise flickered in her eyes, and I felt like an ass. Maddie must’ve been thinking I’d be behind the scenes friends with her or something. “Um, yeah, sure. See you at school.”
“Okay, then. Thanks again for everything.”
“You’re welcome.”
As I dug my keys out of my pocket, I grinned. It wasn’t the way I’d envisioned the night—board games with the 7th Heaven gang and dancing around the Parker’s living room, but all in all, I had a fun, g-rated time.
***
On Tuesday, I stopped by the Nelson’s house. Luckily, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson were at work, and Jonathan was the only one at home.
“Hey man, what’s up?” he asked.
“I came by to look for Jake’s camera.”
Jonathan grinned. “Oh, like, for the ring investigation?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” I replied.
“Good idea. Man, I bet it’ll have an assload of chicks on there!”
I laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure it does.”
Jonathan led the way upstairs to Jake’s room. On the bed were a couple of duffle bags. Jonathan started unzipping some of them. “This was the stuff he had with him up at PawPaw’s. Mom hasn’t had the heart to unpack it yet,” he informed me.
I nodded. Something about seeing those bags weirded me out a little, and I backed away from the bed—fully content with letting Jonathan find the camera.
“Jesus,” Jonathan murmured.
My gaze fell on a plastic bag in his hand. It was Jake’s iPhone. He must’ve had it on him at the accident because it had clearly been bagged by the police—not Jake’s MeeMaw.
I gulped. “Does it work?” I croaked.
Jonathan shot me a look before he unzipped the bag. “I dunno, man. It looks fine.” He grimaced. “It must’ve been in his truck and not on him when…” Neither of us wanted to think about the rest of that statement. The battery clicked off, so Jonathan dug in the bag for the charger.
Luckily, Jake had never felt the need to lock his phone, or we would have been shit out of luck. “Lock it? Hell, I could never remember the password, so screw that!” he’d said.
Once the phone came up, I started scrolling through the pictures—paying particular attention to the dates. Finally, I found the ones Avery was talking about. “Whoa!” I didn’t know if I would ever be able to look at her again, considering she was not only naked, but in some very, very provocative poses.
Jonathan leaned over me. “Holy shit! Is that Honey Boo-Boo?”
I laughed. “Yeah, that’s her—a lot more than I’m used to seeing”
“Damn, I bet she doesn’t show all that at the pageants.”
“I sure as hell wouldn’t think so,” I mused.
“What are you going to do with them?” he asked.
“I promised her I would delete them.”
“Man, that’s a pity,” Jonathan said.
I quickly sent the five naughty pics to the recycling bin. Then I emptied it. “Okay, problem solved.”
“Yeah,” Jonathan murmured with a wistful look in his eye.
I slapped him on the arm. “Dude, quit memorizing the pictures of Honey Boo-Boo—I mean Avery—for your spank bank!”
He grinned wickedly and waggled his eyebrows. “Sorry but some pictures can’t ever be erased!”
“Yeah, that sounds exactly like something Jake would’ve said,” I said.
The mention of Jake brought us back to ourselves. An awkward silence hung in the air. I eyed the phone and then looked at Jonathan. “Hey man, would you mind if I took this phone? You know, for evidence and detective bullshit.”
“Sure. Mom and Dad won’t mind—they probably won’t even miss it for a while.”
“Okay, cool.” As I weighed the phone in my palm, I glanced up at Jonathan. “So do you have any idea who the ring chick might be?”
Jonathan rocked back on his heels before shaking his head. “I mean, I didn’t know of any specific girls in Jake’s life besides Honey Boo-Boo and that Presley chick.”
While I bobbed my head in agreement, Maddie’s face once again entered my mind. “What about Pastor Dan’s daughter?”
With his blonde brows furrowing, Jonathan gave me an epic WTF? look. “The girl who tutored Jake?”
“Yeah, Maddie.”
“Dude, I don’t think so. I mean, Jake might’ve mentioned her once or twice to me, but he never sounded like he had a jonesing for her.”
Chewing on my bottom lip, I thought about the many faces of Jake that Maddie, Pastor Dan, and even myself had seen. “But what if he was keeping his feelings for her a secret? Like he was hiding them away just like this ring?”
Jonathan snorted skeptically. “When did Jake ever hide anything? He said and did exactly what he wanted to.”
“Um duh, the ring?” I argued.
He pursed his lips in thought. “Well, maybe it could be her. Who knows. I’ll just say I’ll be shocked as hell if it actually turns out to be her.”
“You and me both,” I murmured. I then started for the door. Jonathan’s voice stopped me. “Hey Noah?”
I turned around. “Yeah?”
“Blowing up is pretty quick, right? I mean, you don’t think Jake felt anything on that tractor, do you?”
Anguish swam in his dark blue eyes. I didn’t know what Jake felt in that last moment—that last second. I hoped he hadn’t felt anything—that he was here one minute and gone the next. Maybe in the end it didn’t matter if you knew for sure—maybe you could just choose to believe what you wanted.
So, I shook my head at Jonathan. “No man, you heard Bubba when they said it was quick. I’m sure Jake didn’t feel a thing.”
Jonathan weighed my answer for a few seconds before nodding. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. Thanks, man.”
“No problem,” I replied.
On Tuesday and Wednesday, I began the task of working my way through Jake’s phone. His address book was a symbolic black book like from back in the day. I started with the girls Jake had labeled “Butter Faces”—meaning everything was hot but the chicks’ faces.
And it was a bodacious bevy of hot bods I ‘interviewed’ that week. Long legs, fabulous racks, Jennifer Lopez like asses, but none of them had a song with Jake. Well, Libby Petersen did, but it was Let’s Get Drunk and Screw, not You Were Always on My Mind.
I started to get discouraged. What if I wasn’t able to find her? Jake had dated and screwed extensively not only through Creekview, but also at some of the other high school in our county. It was almost an unending journey—one I might still be on in my old age where I finally tracked down the girl to a nursing home.
Thursday as I sat zoned out at the lunch table, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Maddie. The moment I saw her, I couldn’t help the beaming smile that spread across my face. “Hey,” I said as I hopped up from my chair.
“Hi,” she said shyly.
“I haven’t seen you around this week.”
“Yeah, I’ve been at All State Chorus competition.”
“Oh really?”
“Uh, huh.”
Maddie and I stood awkwardly at the table. I could feel the expectant gazes of the guys at my table bearing into my back. “So did you, like, uh, win?” I stammered.
“We came in third as a group, and I came in second as an individual.”
“Wow, that’s awesome,” I replied. The back of my shirt was practically peeling off from the burn from the guys gaping at me and Maddie.
Maddie must’ve sensed my awkwardness. “Well, I just wanted to say hello and see how you were doing,” she said, a slight blush creeping across her cheeks.
My heart jolted a little in my chest. Damn. She was worried about how I was doing with my
grief—so much so she’d risked being embarrassed or annihilated by the A-Crowd just to check on me. She started to turn away, but I grabbed her arm. “I’ll walk you out.”
Maddie raised her eyebrows in surprise, but then she smiled. “Okay.”
Without a word to the guys, I grabbed my books and followed Maddie out of the cafeteria.
“What about you?” I asked, as we headed through the double doors. “I mean, how are you doing?”
She shrugged. “I’m okay, I guess.” Her big dark eyes widened. “Oh Noah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t even be talking about how I feel. I had so little time with Jake, and the two of you were best friends since you were kids.” She rubbed my arm tenderly, causing the hairs on my arm to rise. “I bet you’re really lost without him,” she said.
Damn, she’d really hit the nail on the head. I hated to admit that without Jake around, I did feel lost—like I didn’t know who I was anymore. Having those type of feelings running around in my head made me feel like a total pussy. The world I’d known had shattered around me in an instant, and now everything seemed so surreal. People went on doing exactly what they’d done before while I tip-toed through this new reality.
Once again, the dull ache in my chest radiated at the thoughts of Jake. “Yeah, I am,” I murmured.
Maddie smiled sadly at me. “I can’t even imagine how much you miss him, Noah. I wish there was something I could do—”
“No, it’s okay. Just being here and talking about him—that helps me,” I answered.
The bell rang shrilly over our heads. “Well, I guess I better go. It was good seeing you,” Maddie said.
“Yeah, same here.”
“Bye,” she said.
“Bye,” I murmured.
As she walked away, it once again hit me like a ton of bricks or a swift kick to the balls. I’d been through most of the girls in Jake’s phone and zilch. When I’d gotten to Maddie’s number, I’d skipped over it. Why? Because wasn’t she just the preacher’s goody daughter who was merely a friend and a tutor? But then I thought about what she’d said at the cemetery, and the things he’d confided in her—things he’d never told me when he was shitfaced or sober.
The more I thought about it, the more some of the pieces starting coming together. The more the pieces started coming together, the more I felt like a giant dumbass for not seeing it before. I made a mental note to rule out any form of detective work in my future since I was pretty suckasstastic at it.
Maddie could be her. The more I allowed myself to think it, the less I wanted it to be true. Something within me didn’t want Maddie to be Jake’s or most of all that Jake was Maddie’s.
***
It had been a hell of a week. To get my mind off of Jake, his harem of women, and Maddie, I decided to go to a party at Presley Patterson’s house. I knew it was probably a mistake, but at the same time, I was ready for a little refreshment to take my mind off things.
By the time I got there, the party was in full swing. Presley lived in one of the nicer houses on the shitty side of town. The rumor was many years ago Presley’s mom had a fling with Elvis Presley right before he died. Then she’d made her rounds during the 80’s being a groupie for most of the heavy metal bands—the bigger the hair the better. But I guess she never lost her love for Elvis because when Presley was born, she named her after him.
I found most of “the crowd” at the party. I wasn’t too surprised to find a game of practically naked Twister going on. Presley’s parties were notoriously risqué, even for our crowd. “What’s up, Noah!” Blaine called to me, his voice muffled from underneath a couple of girls stripped to their bra and panties.
“Hey, Blaine,” I replied. I looked around the room. “Where’s the beer?”
“Kitchen,” he mumbled.
I called hello to some of the other party goers as I made my way down to the hall. In the kitchen, I found the mother-load with two coolers of Budweiser. Before I knew it, I’d guzzled three beers. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect than the one I desired. I got a raging pain in my head like someone was stabbing me with an ice pick behind my right eye. The insane thumping of the party music only made it worse. I couldn’t focus on any of the conversations, and I certainly couldn’t get into a curvy freshman who was chatting me up while trying to feel me up.
With my head pounding, I snuck into Presley’s bedroom. I quickly scanned the room for any couples using the room to hook up. Fortunately for me, the coast was clear. I was well acquainted with Presley’s room since I’d lost my virginity to Presley’s cousin at a New Year’s party sophomore year. Jake had reacted like a proud father—thumping me on the back and congratulating me. Of course always the player, he’d lost his when we were in the eighth grade to one of Jonathan’s ex-girlfriends.
I rummaged in Presley’s medicine cabinet for some Advil, Tylenol, anything. Finally, I found some next to a bottle of Midol. Popping pills and chasing them with beer is never a good idea, but I did it anyway. I was willing to do anything—including cutting my head off to be rid of the pain.
I didn’t bother turning on the lights. Being in the dark was better on my head. I eased down on the bed and draped my arm over my eyes. Just as I was about to dose off, I heard a noise next to the door.
“Noah? Noah, are you in here?” a voice whispered.
“Yeah,” I moaned.
Light from the hallway momentarily flooded the room as someone entered. They closed the door behind them. I didn’t know who it was until the lamp beside the bed flicked on.
It was Presley.
“Hey,” she said, with a crooked grin.
“Hey.”
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
“My head hurts like hell,” I groaned.
Presley sat down beside me. “Oh, you poor baby. I’m so sorry.”
The next thing I knew her lips were on mine. I jerked away. “Presley, what the-”
“Shh, Noah. Let me make you feel better,” she whispered, as she pushed me back against the bed. Since my headache was almost gone and she was an incredible kisser, I gave in, and we made out for a few minutes. My hand traveled up her shirt when I finally released her lips, desperate for air.
As I gasped and panted, she grinned seductively at me. “I’ve got a secret.”
“Yeah, so?”
Her breath was hot over my earlobe. “I’m not wearing any underwear,” she whispered, as she crisscrossed her legs.
“Um, yeah, good for you.”
Her hand trailed up my calf to my thigh. Uh, oh, this wasn’t good.
“You’ve got a secret too, don’t you?” she asked.
“No, I’m wearing boxers as a matter of fact.”
Presley rolled her eyes playfully at my response. “No silly. I mean, you’ve got a secret about Jake.”
My eyes widened. How the hell did she know about that?
Suddenly, her hand was inching further up my thigh. “Wonder what color boxer shorts you have on?”
I silently willed that traitorous part of me to be still, but it wasn’t hearing anything about it—especially after Presley’s fingers found my zipper.
“Look, you’re drunk, and we really shouldn’t be doing anything,” I protested.
Her head shook wildly back and forth. “I haven’t had a drop to drink. I swear. I just…” When she nibbled her bottom lip, my erection jumped in my pants. “I just don’t want to be alone tonight.” Her hand was inside my jeans now. Fuck me. I had a freight train running through my head, and a wildfire burning in my crotch. But with just one sniffle from Presley, my hard-on began to wither. When I gazed up at her, tears sparkled in her dark blue eyes. “Noah, I don’t know what to do without Jake, and I need to be with someone who loved him like I did.”
At her words, a shudder ran through me. Just the thought that she wanted a connection to Jake through screwing me was like a douse of prickly ice water crashing over me. What the hell was I doing? Presley was Jake’s girl—at least one of his girls
. More importantly, she was the last girl he had been with before he gave up sex. Now here I was being the ultimate backstabbing douche by making out with her and getting a partial hand-job.
I knocked Presley’s hand away. “Stop it.”
Her blonde brows rose in shock. “Don’t you want me?”
Running my hand through my already disheveled hair, I grunted. “Of course I want you. You just brought me from half-mast to raging hard-on.” I shook my head. “But don’t you realize how incredibly fucked up this is? You were Jake’s…girl, and I’m his best friend. We can’t screw each other to make our grief go away.”
My mouth fell open when embarrassment tinged Presley’s cheeks pink. I don’t think I’d ever seen her blush in my life. “Yes Noah, I know.” She jerked her chin up to stare sadly at me. “I’m perfectly aware how incredibly fucked up am I without Jake. I don’t sleep. I barely eat, even though I know I should. I’m so scared and alone. I need some way to deal with it, and this—” she motioned to the bed and our rumpled clothes. “This is all I know to do to make things better—to feel anything with someone.”
Mascara blackened tears ran down her cheeks, and her shoulders began to rise and fall with her sobs. That familiar suffocating feeling crept on me, but I fought like hell not to let it come over me. Reaching over, I handed Presley the box of tissues off her nightstand. After she’d wiped her eyes and blown her nose, she stared intently at me. “Have you heard that there’s some big secret going around about something Jake had in his room?”
Uh, oh. “Well, yeah, maybe.”
Presley’s brows rose in surprise. “Do you know what it is?”
“I was there when it was found.”
She gasped. “What is it?”
“Nothing much,” I lied.
“Please tell me. I promise, it’ll be our little secret.”
Trying to keep her from riding my ass, I teased, “Like your lack of underwear?”
She laughed. “Ugh, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I said that to you earlier. But hey, me not wearing panties isn’t that huge secret, but sure, we can say we’ll keep it between us.”
