by Jamie Knight
I was going to tell him.
As I opened my mouth to speak, there was a knock at the door. I jumped and gasped. Jace motioned for me to stay quiet.
“Who is it?” he called loudly.
“It’s Trent,” came a faint voice on the other side of the door. After a pause, he added, “Hey, do you think you can open up? It’s kind of hard balancing on crutches and holding a bunch of papers.”
Jace looked at me, a look of horror on his face that I had never seen before. He grabbed me by the hand and ran to his bedroom, pulling me along so fast that I was sure that I was going to fall. He sat me down on the bed and mouthed for me to stay put. Then he disappeared out the bedroom door, closing it softly behind him before he left.
I sat there, my heart pounding in my ears from the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I was so scared, not knowing what was going to happen. Were we going to get caught? Was Jace going to be fired?
I tried to slow my breathing down so that I could try to eavesdrop on what was going on in the other room. I heard the door open and a flustered Trent tapped his crutches as he walked into the kitchen. I heard the sound of a stack of papers hitting the counter a few moments later.
I tried to will my heart to stop beating so fast because I was almost convinced that they could hear me if it kept up.
“Thank you so much for running the tests on a Saturday, Trent,” said Jace, his voice taking on a commanding air. “But you didn’t have to come over here to bring results. That could have waited until Monday.”
“Oh, no worries,” said Trent. “I’m glad to help. I feel really bad about leaving all the work to you since I was out of work with a bum leg. Especially with the internship. I know that was something that we were supposed to do together. And that Izzy. She’s something special, isn’t she?”
I froze. Had he seen me? The door was closed so, unless he had x-ray vision, I knew that there was no way that that was possible. I just wrote it off as a strange coincidence that he mentioned my name.
“Yes, she is,” said Jace, his voice even and soft. “I wouldn’t have picked her for the internship if she wasn’t. I’m just worried that she might be spread too thin.”
“I’d like to spread her, alright. Maybe you can give me some tips on how I can get her to fall over with her legs spread so that I can conveniently fall on top of her.”
His laughter was nasally and high-pitched, grating on my ears.
“That is not funny at all!” roared Jace angrily. “You need to respect women.”
I could hear their feet shuffling like they were in a scuffle.
“Whoa, hey! I was only joking. I just meant…” said Trent, his voice trailing off like he was moving toward the door.
“I know exactly what you meant, and you are way out of line,” said Jace.
“Ow! You’re hurting me. Let me go!”
I could hear Trent’s voice echoing in the hallway.
“I think that you need some time to reconsider how you should fucking be a gentleman.”
“Geez, man, you I think that you reinjured my ankle. I’ve gotta go to the hospital and have it checked out. You should really calm down.”
The door slammed hard and I could hear Jace walking toward his bedroom. The door swung open and he reached a hand toward me, motioning for me to come out.
“The coast is clear,” he said, grinning sheepishly at me. “I’m sorry that you had to hear that. I don’t know what came over Trent.”
“It’s okay,” I said, grinning happily while I squeezed his hand. “I heard the way that you stood up for me and I appreciate that. Only… aren’t you going to get into trouble for hurting Trent? He sounded pretty upset.”
Jace waved a hand toward me.
“I’ll weather that. Don’t you worry about it. He shouldn’t have been such an asshole about you. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.”
He walked over to his couch, a white sectional with plush pillows, and sat down, pulling me down with him. He wrapped his arm around me, leaning my head on his chest.
His heart was beating so fast, pounding loudly in my ear. There was something calming and comforting about being in his arms.
But, as much as I tried to enjoy the moment, I just kept thinking about how our worlds could completely change.
“Do you have tenure?” I asked, my eyes closed as I lay on him. He paused, took a deep breath, and blew it out.
“No tenure,” he said. “But it shouldn’t be too long before I have it. I hope. As long as everything keeps going as well as they have been these last few years, I should be golden.”
I knew that him being the father to my baby could definitely throw a monkey wrench in his smooth sailing plan. I pressed a little bit more.
“I definitely see the passion that you have for teaching. What about any other schools? Have you ever thought of, say, relocating or something?”
He shook his head hard.
“No. Never. One of my favorite things about what I do is that I get to do it at my own Alma Mater, a place that was impactful for me during my formative years. It’s here where I grew. It’s here where I want to help others to grow, to give back, so to speak. I hope to have my own retirement party here someday.”
I laughed at the thought of him, an old man, face covered in cake with too much frosting. My laughter faded quickly when I thought about telling him about the baby.
How was I going to do that now, though?
If I told him and he claimed the baby, then that meant that our secret would be out. Everyone would know that we had been sleeping together. And that could mean the end of his dream and could give him a reputation that could follow him for years to come. And if he didn’t claim the baby…
I couldn’t even bring myself to think about that. My heart plummeted as I tried not to. It felt like the air got thin, like I was going to suffocate if I didn’t get out of there.
I had to leave. Fast.
“Oh, my God, I’ve gotta go,” I said, fanning my face.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Jace sprung up from the couch worriedly, pacing back and forth in front of me.
“Oh, it’s… I told Layla that we could hang out today. I’ve gotta get back.”
Jace said that he understood, kissed me on the forehead, and helped me find my things so that I could leave. He told me that he would call me later and to take care of myself. I took a long look at him before I left, closing the door behind me.
I slipped out the back door, careful to peek around the corner so that no one saw me. I didn’t know how much longer our secret would be safe, but I was going to try my best to keep it that way for as long as I could.
Chapter 14 - Izzy
My knees shook, and my hands trembled as I held my iPad in my hand, staring at what could have easily been a death threat. My stomach dropped into my shoes.
This was it.
I received an email, which also cc’d my parents, which read:
“Dear Ms. Carson,
Due to some recently allegations of unethical conduct, faculty will be holding a special meeting to resolve any issues. Your presence is requested on Monday at 9 am sharp.
Thank you,
Ana Lewis,
Dean’s Assistant.”
My mind raced, poring over what it could be about. I know that my grades had been suffering since I had been dealing with the emotional fallout of whatever had been happening with Jace and the weight of what I was going to do about this baby.
I had known that the day would be coming when I would have to face the music about my grades. The fact that my parents were sent the alert, too, concerned me, though.
Could it have been about something else?
I dressed slowly, not ready to rush to what I knew would not end well.
When I showed up to the administrative offices of the university, I almost stopped and turned around at what I saw.
My mother and fath
er had shown up for the meeting.
My mother was the first person who I saw, sitting on a bench near the front door. She had been sitting on the edge of her seat, nervously wringing her hands, her neck crooked like a bird, looking in every direction for one glance at me.
“Izzy!” she called out, her eyes lighting up, her voice strained and high.
“Hi, mom,” I said, bracing myself for her hug. She pulled me to her, erupting in a fountain of dramatic tears, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
“Oh, Izzy! We are so worried about you! What is going on? Why are they calling this meeting? Is everything okay?”
She rapid fired her questions at me, shaking my shoulders so hard, I thought that my brain was going to rattle right out of my ears.
“Stop shaking her, dear,” said my father. “You’re going to hurt her.”
My mother let go of me and stood back, covering her face and turning away to bawl.
“Can we just relax?” I said, trying to sound more calm than I felt. “I don’t know why they are calling this meeting. So, before we all get to freaking out, let’s just see what they have to say.”
My words seemed to strike a chord because my mother calmed down long enough for us to make our way down the long hall of the offices in the administrative building. Unlike the other buildings, it wasn’t swarming with students walking to and fro. In fact, short of the occasional phone ringing and copy machine going off, it was relatively quiet.
As we passed open doors of some of the offices, I would catch the eyes of its occupants, their quiet day interrupted by my mother’s loud outburst. Some were irritated. Some were curious, peeking their heads out as we passed like they were watching a circus procession. In many ways, they were.
“Which way do we go now?” asked my mother frantically, since it looked like we had come to a dead end.
“Who are you looking for?” came a woman’s voice with a country accent from behind us. We all jumped, surprised to see the skinny, pale lady with dirty blonde stringy hair behind us. She was short, wearing a floral dress with a white knit sweater and tennis shoes.
“We’re looking for the Dean’s office,” I said, trying to calm my heart from the scare we’d just endured.
“Oh, you must be Izzy,” she said, stepping toward me with her hand extended. “I’m Ana. We’ve been waiting for you. Right this way.”
She moved in front of us, leading us even further down another hall, turning, before heading toward what looked like a bat cave almost. The door on the read in big, bold block letters read, “Belva Morris, Dean of Students.”
I stopped breathing. I thought that I was going to faint. I was fainting.
“Oh my God! Catch her!” cried my mother, her eyes open in horror as she watched me fall toward the ground. My father reached his arms out and caught me just before my head hit the floor. I was sure that I was going to be sick.
“Call the doctor!” yelled my mother loudly to no one in particular. The thought of the doctor being called and possibly revealing the fact that I was pregnant to my parents was horrifying. It made me come to quickly, bracing myself against my father’s arms.
“No, I’m okay,” I insisted, weakly. “I just… missed a step.” I stood up, shaking my head in hopes that I would make them believe my lie.
“Let’s all sit down in the office,” said a voice from inside of the office.
It was Belva, the woman that I had seen before. Her short, black hair was curled into a bob and she wore a blue skirt suit. She looked very polished and put together. She smiled at me sweetly, her eyes glimmering with a secret as she smiled.
“Hello, Izzy,” she said, stepping from behind her large oak desk to extend her well-manicured hand toward me. “I’m not sure that we have ever been properly introduced. I’m Belva Morris, Dean of Students. We saw each other in passing the other day when you were with Dr. Rivers. Do you remember that?”
All eyes were on me. I immediately felt like I had been put on trial.
“Yes,” I said, my voice hoarse and low.
Belva nodded slightly and sat back down behind her desk, her eyes down. She looked like she was lost in thought. Glancing up toward the door, she spoke to Ana.
“Can you give us a little while here?” she said, her eyes fixed on Ana like she was trying to convey a deeper message than her words let on.
“Okay,” she said, slipping around the corner, closing the door so gently, it didn’t make a sound.
“Please have a seat,” she said, motioning toward two arm chairs that were across from her desk, angled toward each other.
I didn’t see another chair, so I stood in the corner on the far side of the arm chair. Belva offered to have another chair brought in, but I declined, saying that I didn’t mind standing. I think part of me hoped that, if I didn’t sit down, this meeting might be over sooner rather than later. I shifted uncomfortably from foot-to-foot, eager to hear what this emergency meeting was about.
The door creaked open and Jace walked in. He froze, fear plastered on his face as our eyes locked. My breathing grew shallower by the minute. My stomach dropped so fast and hard, I was sure that I was going to blow chunks all over her office.
I turned to face the wall, willing myself to take long, deep breaths. Tears leaked from the corner of my eyes and I wiped them away, hoping that no one had noticed. I snuck a look over at my parents. My father was looking at Jace, a look of utter confusion on his face.
My mother’s eyes were fixed squarely on me. She threw me a questioning look and I knew that she wanted to know what was wrong. I shrugged at her, putting a look of confusion on my face, too, turning my attention toward Jace and Belva.
“Thank you for joining us, Dr. Rivers,” she said, her voice taking on a professional, formal air. “I’m sure you have some idea why you have been called here today…”
Jace shoved his hand deep into his pocket, rocking on his heels, not leaving his place in front of the door.
“Actually, I have no idea why I’m here, Belva,” he said cooly, interrupted her. “But I’m sure that you are going to fill me in.”
Jace turned and nodded at my parents, greeting them politely.
“These are Ms. Carson’s parents,” said Belva, her voice becoming more icy as she spoke, her hands in a tent in front of her face. “I have invited all of you here to discuss some allegations that have surface from a fellow faculty member. He should be here any moment…”
No sooner than she had said that, Trent turned the corner, almost running directly into Jace. Trent almost lost his balance, pitching forward into Jace’s quick and steady hands.
“Whoa,” he said, trying to keep his footing.
“Trent, I’m glad that you could join us,” said Belva.
Jace paused, firmly grasping Trent’s elbow, looking in his eyes. I could almost see the lightbulb go off as Jace understood what was going on.
Trent righted himself, straightening the jacket of blazer.
“Trent? You…?” said Jace, slowly.
Trent smirked, confirming my fears: this was going to be bad. Very bad.
“We just have a few questions and hopefully we can clear some things up and move on,” said Belva, ignoring Jace’s words, turning toward me. “There have been some allegations of Ms. Carson at your home, something that I know that you know is completely unethical and wrong, since we have discussed this topic ad naseum. Is this true?”
She looked back and forth between Jace and I, waiting to see which one of us was going to answer. Jace didn’t say anything. Trent snickered, crossing his arms while he rested on the crutches.
I wanted to deny it, tell her that she must have been mistaken. That maybe it was someone else. Or that I had been visiting someone in a different apartment. But then, I knew that they would ask questions that I didn’t have the answers to.
And the way that Trent stood there, smugly smiling in our direction, I was almost sure that he had some k
ind of proof of me being there. He hobbled over to stand next to Belva’s desk, smiling an evil smile.
“I was there,” I said quickly. Trent almost fell off of his crutches and his mouth fell open.
“Wha-what do you mean?” he sputtered.
“Yeah, I thought that I saw you at the back door when I was out front,” I said, turning toward Trent. “I waved, but I thought that you didn’t see me.”
“I-I…” Trent said, scratching his head and trying to keep his balance.
“And what were you doing at his apartment, Ms. Carson?” asked Belva, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. She glared at me so hard, I thought that her eyes were going to shoot laser beams in my direction.
“I’m doing an internship with Dr. Rivers and Mr. Vaanker. We had worked on an experiment and I was dropping of the test results. I know that Mr. Vaanker had been out because of his ankle and I wanted to make sure that I stayed on top of my responsibilities. Did I do something wrong?"
“Oh, no. Not at all,” said Belva, her hand over her chest. She looked like she was sighing deeply with relief. Trent’s shoulders slump in defeat looking like he had had the wind knocked out of him.
“But…but…” said Trent, a finger raised toward Belva. Belva put up her hand as if silencing him, staring squarely at Jace. Jace stood quietly watching, his eyes dancing between Belva, Trent, my parents, and me. His shoulders were tense and his eyebrows were furrowed with concern. I knew how he felt. Probably a lot how I did: in the middle of a tornado.
“Well, is it true?” said Belva, her voice losing its professional tone as she badgered him curiously.
Jace’s eyes landed on me and stayed there.
“She was there,” he said, softly.
He didn’t say anything about the test results. And Belva didn’t press. She seemed satisfied by his answer. She clapped and took a few steps toward the door.
“Then, it’s settled,” said Belva loudly, visibly happy. “Now we can put all of this business behind us. I’m sorry to have wasted your time Mr. and Mrs. Carson.”
