Mrs. Davis nodded. “That’s right. Please keep on with us here, Dolly. We love you.”
“And I love you,” she said, squeezing her aunt’s hand and smiling at Mrs. D. “Don’t worry, I’m stayin’ put. It was just an emotional day.” She’d lived by herself for so long, and she was an only child. And, these last years, she hadn’t gotten close enough to anyone to be in this kind of conflict. It was easier to keep things uncomplicated and friendly.
They all got back to their meal, Aunt June and Mrs. D chatting about when they thought Adam Manning and Minnie Molloy would get married, and whether there would be an all-faiths Thanksgiving meal again this year, and if they could get the town council to switch to non-denominational star light fixtures for the winter holidays instead of the usual angels, which apparently were getting raggedy anyway.
“Let’s make some coffee,” Aunt June said after they were finished and Luke had cleared the table.
“Let me,” Dolly said, rising.
“Nonsense. Betty and I can handle that. You relax.”
“Why don’t you two go enjoy the evening air on the front porch and we’ll call you when dessert’s ready?” Mrs. D glanced at Luke and inclined her head toward the front hall.
Dolly met his gaze, which had shuttered. It would be best to stay inside, and not be alone with him, but she yearned to talk to him, to get his perspective on what had happened today. She might not know him well, but she felt his opinion would be worthwhile.
“Or you can sit with us,” Aunt June said.
“If Luke’s willing, I’d like to sit outside a while.”
“Sure,” he said, so quickly that he betrayed an enthusiasm not hinted in his casual posture and closed-off look.
Aunt June turned back to the coffeemaker and Dolly and Luke walked out into the balmy evening. The sky streaked with deep pastels, the beginnings of a spectacular evening twilight. The tips of the trees reached toward the lowering sun, and the river rushed on in the distance, creating a soundtrack for the show with the chirps of birds and insects.
Luke followed her out and waited until she chose to sit in the porch swing. He sat at a respectful distance, which seemed only to make her even more aware of his presence, if that were possible. Her whole body hummed with his nearness. She pushed off with her feet, setting them in motion. Maybe the rocking would take her body’s attention off of Luke. Nothing else she did helped.
And neither did this. She’d stay in Loving. Could she stay near Luke?
Her discomfort wasn’t as scary anymore, not as scary as missing out on the possibilities with Luke. Maybe she was ready to take some personal risks.
Chapter Fourteen
Never Go Away
“I’m sorry all this happened,” Luke said, trying not to get too close to her on the porch swing.
“Not your fault,” Dolly said. At least she no longer seemed crumpled in on herself, but the distance in her voice wasn’t much better.
“Except I know what this town is like. And the Riggs’s. Would it have helped you to know? I’d heard some of the gossip yesterday, and I could’ve warned you about it. I just usually ignore gossip, and it stops.”
“But not always, I imagine. Because always is as false as false can be.”
His smile turned into a chuckle when Dolly’s expression mirrored his.
“I won’t argue with Mrs. D’s words. No, not always, but you’ve got a lot of people in this town who already love you, and most of the rest love your aunt.” He wasn’t ready for how deep his feelings for Dolly were, but he didn’t want her to leave town, either. “I hope you won’t let those few burrs keep you from enjoying the park, so to speak.”
“You’re a hiker, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Guessed it from my poor metaphor?” he teased. When was the last time he’d teased a woman he found attractive, besides Dolly? This woman made him feel so alive. She was vital, smart, intuitive, caring, and beautiful as the sky they faced.
“Ah, it wasn’t that bad.”
Her tease hit him in the chest. Because it was a moment between them, just them, being themselves. Like the sky, it was light and dark. Because there was dark in him: a dark, cavernous need. He wouldn’t give into it. But at the same time, he wanted to do what he could so that Dolly would never leave.
He shook his head, staring out at the landscape.
But doing that, trying to interfere in her life, would be giving in to that need. He didn’t want to feel this, or think about it.
“So, you think it’ll all be okay?” There was trust in her voice. As if what he said would matter to her.
His stomach rocked, queasy. It was responsibility, for her.
“Yeah. You’ve got your aunt. And Mrs. D. It’ll be fine.” She would be fine, and that mattered. A lot.
And she was better off without him. He’d been a fool, really. For thinking they could ever be together.
“And I’ve got new friends,” she said, reaching out and grasping his hand lightly. And, fool that he was, he let her and didn’t pull away.
It had been the same with his mom, letting her lean on him when he was useless to help. When he was the broken one, despite what everyone else said. He tightened his muscles and pushed away the feelings.
He waited for Dolly to see through him, but she wasn’t looking at him. She studied the sky.
“Luke, can I tell you something?” she asked.
“Sure.” His heart sped. It was one muscle he couldn’t control.
“I’ve been a lucky person, I know that. But when my parents died—I was twenty—it was devastating. Grief like that stays with you, colors everything. And it’s made me...not want to get really close to people. Grief like that, it made me afraid of losing the people I love deeply. So I kept it friendly with lots of people, but nothing more. And that’s been fine. Am I saying too much?”
She was, in a way. She was sharing herself, her truth, her fears, with him. His mom had done that too. And she’d died.
He hung his head, shook it. Dolly took it as a no to her question, when he was trying to shake away the memories of his drug-addicted mom leaving. Of having to identify her body at the morgue. He’d thought himself a man then, at sixteen, but he was still a boy. The nausea he’d experienced back then echoed as a cramp in his gut.
“Thanks, for listening, for being so kind to me. I like you, a lot, Luke. Maybe I was wrong, before.”
All week, he’d wanted to hear her say that. But now, there was too much at stake. Like his heart, and hers too.
Her fingers still rested on his. Her hand was so warm and small, vulnerable like she had just made herself. He could just say “yes” and take her in his arms and kiss her again and again.
But that would be too easy, too risky, too painful in the end. Mostly for her, because he’d only confirm her worst fear.
He stood and her hand slipped away. He stepped away.
“You weren’t wrong. We should keep it professional. Sometimes gossip has a kernel of truth. I am a love them and leave them sort of guy. A girl like you needs someone capable of commitment.”
The sky darkened, the vivid colors washing into dull grey and dark blue.
“I don’t expect commitment right away. But I guess you’re saying you just aren’t looking for that at all?”
“Right.” He hadn’t been looking for anything, but Dolly had shown up anyway. A woman who could touch the deepest places in him without even trying. A woman who amazed him and won his admiration. A woman he couldn’t love because he would just hurt her.
“Okay, then I’ll see you tomorrow at my shop. And, yeah, if you hear any gossip about me, I’d rather hear it from you than from someone like Lucinda Riggs.”
He’d already messed up, gotten it wrong and caused her hurt because he hadn’t made the right choice.
He rubbed his chest. “Duly noted. Probably we should get back in for dessert.”
“Oh, yeah, okay.” She sounded cheerful, but he could tell it wasn’t genuine.<
br />
Better to hurt her a little now than cause real grief later.
Because he’d seen the fallout from love and the grief it caused. He wouldn’t be involved in that. So he wouldn’t get involved with Dolly.
Chapter Fifteen
The Silence of His Eyes
Dolly got to the shop early on Monday, even before Luke and his crew were to arrive. The silence and musty smell reminded her of her old shop, when she’d first bought it. A new beginning in the midst of grief.
This was different. It was a new beginning in the midst of other new possibilities.
Luke had pulled away last night, and stayed silent during dessert. Not that he was much of a talker anyway. But something was different. His silence reached his eyes. He had shut down somehow, and despite her previous hesitance, she wanted to know why.
Still, she wasn’t one to pry. Whatever happened, she was grateful for meeting him, because he’d been the catalyst for her healing more from the grief, and for facing her fears.
She’d practice bravery and continue to be herself around Luke, even though his rejection stung. Just as her rejection had probably been for him.
Maybe, slowly, they could start again.
She unloaded her car of the supplies she’d brought over, dusted her hand on a rag, and walked over to the bakery.
Alice, a twenty-two-year-old Salish woman helping out at the bakery for the summer who Dolly had met a few times, raised a hand in greeting. “Your call-in order’s ready. Working on the renovation today,” Alice asked as she passed Dolly the tray of coffees she’d ordered.
Dolly nodded. “Yep. Getting started on the garden today.”
“Need any extra help? I’m working as much as I can before I start my MS in Environmental Studies.”
“Yeah, I was going to ask you, but wasn’t sure how busy this and your internship were keeping you. I’d love to do a native plant garden. I had one back in California, but of course it’s different here.”
“I’m a plant geek, perfect for the job. I did the patio garden here.” She bent over to get the cuernitos to complete Dolly’s order. Dolly liked her confidence and briskness.
“Awesome. How about coming over when you get done here and you can check out the project and then tell me what you’d need?”
“Sounds good. I’m off at two. How’s that?” Alice smiled and tucked a loose strand of her dark brown hair back into its messy bun.
“See you then!” Dolly paid and grabbed the bag and tray, her step lighter. Once again, things were falling into place.
Luke’s truck was now parked next to her car. Sliding from his truck, he jogged to her and took the tray, lightening her load.
“Thanks,” she said. “Isn’t it a beautiful morning? The sunrise was as spectacular as last night’s sky.”
“Agreed.” He waited while she unlocked the door then held it for her.
“Glad you saw it.” The thought that they’d both been up, sharing that moment, even separately, warmed her.
“You didn’t have to get us all coffees.”
“And cuernitos.” She waved the bag.
A grin curved his lips and he opened his mouth then shut it again with a nod.
“It’s the first day. Wanted to start off well. I might get to hire Alice, too, to help with the garden.”
“She was one of the people I was going to suggest. She did the plantings on the patio at the bakery. Knows her stuff.” Luke followed her into the shop.
“She mentioned that. You can suggest things to me, you know. Just because I say I have a plan doesn’t mean I’m not willing to hear suggestions.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
She eased her coffee out of the tray he still held. “Are you alone today? I thought Tim would be here.”
“He will. He had to drop his daughter at camp. His wife had to work last minute.”
So it was just the two of them. “Want to sit a few and eat? I brought a couple of folding chairs. They’re out back.”
He rubbed the side of his face. “Uh, sure.”
They walked to the backyard. She set down the bag and unfolded the chairs. Luke set the tray on the ground and took his coffee.
She held out the open bag and a napkin. “You like your coffee black, right?”
“Yep.” He took a cuernito and napkin, holding it up briefly as if in thanks.
When she bit into the pastry, she let out a gasp of enjoyment. Luke met her gaze for a moment. There was certainly no slacking off in the intense way he looked at her, despite what he’d said. Though of course not wanting to be in a serious relationship with someone didn’t mean you couldn’t be attracted to them. Still, his look seemed to speak of something more than just attraction.
And she was a woman who trusted her intuition.
“What are you excited about this week?” she asked.
He sipped his coffee and took another bite of bread. “Work.”
“Nothing else? No long hike or hot date?” She smiled and wiggled her brows.
He shrugged. “Inappropriate territory there.”
Her stomach dropped at his serious tone. But then he chuckled and she laughed with him.
“Yes, I’m hiking when I can. Going out to a favorite trail upriver. And no, I’m not seeing anyone. I wouldn’t have asked you out if I had been.”
Hum. If he dated as casually—love them and leave them—as he’d said, he could be seeing multiple people. That was casual dating for you. She wondered again if he were being fully truthful about his feelings.
“River trail? Sounds beautiful.” She washed down a bite of cuernito with her milky coffee. The perfect combination: buttery pastry and a latte.
“It is.”
“Could I come along? I’d bring snacks,” she said in a sing-song tone.
He kept drinking and eating.
“Pretty please with sugar on top?”
His grin was better than her treat for sweetness and warmth. He was so handsome, but in that moment, she saw a glimpse of the boy he must’ve been, lonely and caring and mischievous.
“What kind of sugar?” he asked playfully.
“What’s your favorite?”
“Between friends? More of that peach bread and some sweet tea.”
“Done. I might even throw in a picnic lunch.”
“Now you’re catching on.” He popped the last bite into his mouth and set down his coffee. Smacking his hands on his thighs, he stood. “I better get to it. And I think I hear Tim’s old truck.”
“Good. Just let me know what day.”
“Will do.” He walked inside, putting up his hand in goodbye before he disappeared into the shadowy interior.
A sense of victory washed over her and her smile broadened. They’d shared another friendly, and, dare she say it, flirty moment. She would dare. Luke, and the possibilities between them, were worth the risk.
Chapter Sixteen
Good Old Days
Luke was shut down and he knew it, but he’d just ride it out like usual.
But there was nothing usual in meeting Dolly Gallagher for a hike. At least he’d made sure to meet her at the trailhead, and not pick her up. He didn’t want her to get any date-like vibes if he could help it. Sometimes he couldn’t because he was so dang attracted to her on every level and she was so easy to flirt with that he’d be in it before he knew it.
All week, he’d managed to mostly avoid her, as she and Alice had been busy in the garden. Though sometimes, in a pause, he’d hear Dolly’s laughter—she was enjoying the gardening work, as she seemed to life itself—and it cut him to the core.
But he couldn’t seem to avoid her, because Dolly was on everyone’s radar. Alice chattered on about her and the garden and how fun she was to talk to, and Tim went on about her ideas for kids’ programs, and Mrs. D prattled about Dolly’s enthusiasm for joining the church choir and donating a shelf in Mrs. D’s name at the high school library, and on and on. Everywhere he went in town, someone was talking about
Dolly Gallagher. Even at home, he couldn’t escape her, because she’d invaded his thoughts, too.
And there she was, looking cute in jeans, floral hiking boots, a sweater and scarf, her brown hair catching the days’ first sunbeams.
He’d thought maybe she wouldn’t be up for a sunrise hike, but he should’ve known better. She waved with an excitement only she could bring off before widening her arms as if to say, would you look at all this, and he was looking.
“Good morning, Mr. Levi.” She patted his arm. “Oh, what a beautiful morning,” she sang.
He quashed his grin at her off-key but robust tune. “Ready?”
She gave him a thumbs up and pointed to a backpack he hadn’t noticed.
“Want me to carry that?” he asked.
“Thanks. Maybe in a bit. I haven’t been hiking in a few months. I was busy packing and all that.”
He led her up the trail. They could see the river here, but the trail wound into the forested hills. They should reach the first plateau in time to see the sunrise in its full glory.
“Where’d you like to hike?” He couldn’t help wondering if, as young people, they’d passed each other on some Bay Area trail and not even known it.
“Gosh, all over Northern California: Mt. Tam, Marin Headlands, Point Reyes, Armstrong Redwoods, Prairie Creek... You name it, I’ve probably been there.”
His thought was right on. “Same. Some beautiful spots there.”
“Did you usually go out solo, or...?”
“Depended.” He cleared his throat. They trekked up, and he turned to check on her progress. She was going along, matching his steps. “My dad used to take me for shorter hikes when I was younger. Then I’d go by myself or with friends.” Those walks had felt like the only times he and his dad had gotten along.
“My parents used to take me too. Did your mom not like to hike, or were your parents divorced?”
He should’ve known spending time with Dolly was a bad idea. Questions were a thing with her, and with her, he wanted to answer. Didn’t want to evade and deflect, like he did with most people. And, those good old days, which hadn’t seemed good at all, had been on his mind and in his dreams lately. Memories and feelings could be like the vaporous mist obscuring the treetops, clouding the view one moment and evaporating or shifting in the next.
Hello Dolly Page 8
