You and I (You and I #1)

by H. M. Irwing

  "It’s going to rain," he said.

  "Yes...yes it is."

  We sat there in companionable silence lost in our own thoughts watching the sun set casting a strange orange hue across the greyish skies and then it was gone. Abruptly darkness fell and the chill of the night swept across the previously heated beach. It roused us from our reverie.

  I rose and dusted the sand off my bottom then draped the beach towel about me as I turned to head back to the house.

  "Wait for me," murmured Jake and just like that the strange tension that had been ever on the edges flooded back in with a vengeance. I was thankful the sudden darkness hid the tremble in my limbs. Refusing to consider the alternative I put it down to a long day at the beach and a need for sustenance.

  We walked back in silence. I shivered and trembled each time he reached out to touch me to guide me up the narrow path. But later I clung to the arm he offered and we made our way back to the little cottage. The light from the kitchen cast a beam across the little footpath lighting our way.

  I stopped by the door to listen to the conversation and laughter that was going on within. I felt oddly remote. Detached from the merriment within but strangely connected to the man beside me. The thrill in my heart grew.

  "Shall we go in," Jake asked quietly seeming to share the poignancy of the moment. I only nodded in reply then stepped forward to move in ahead of him.

  Emily's bright laughter was the first I heard but it sounded strained and false to my sensitive ears. I did not look to Jake to see his reaction. I did not wish to judge him. He was not at fault. Emily's affection had been a figment of her own imagination. Jake couldn't be expected to return it.

  I hurried away to Jake's room where our belongings were stored to hide the sheen of tears that her pain drew in me. I grabbed a random sundress and moved to shower in the tiny stall. Bumping into Jake on my way out I dropped my head in a sudden bout of shyness and confusion before I hurried off to help out in the kitchens.

  "So what have you younglings planned over the next few days?" asked Mr Neel over dinner. I chowed down on my Caesar salad and waited for Jake's answer. I had no social life of my own so I usually found myself tagging along with whomever that did.

  "There is a party at Richard's place. I'll take the girls there Sunday night," said Jake raising doubts in my mind, “I was thinking we could just chill on the beach tomorrow and maybe check out the local haunts at night tomorrow night.” But my thoughts were stuck on his plans for Sunday night. Even recluse I have heard of Richard that is I assumed he was talking about his childhood friend Richard Reeves. I had of course met him years back when Richard had for some strange reason taken to hanging about with the four of us. But Richard was older than us, 25 to Jake’s 21. He had never really belonged and now he was simply the millionaire playboy who lived not far from here. I do keep abreast over the latest on the local celebrities, a splashbacks from the twin’s avid fascination with the tabloids. While, Richard himself was not a celebrity but the females he dated mostly were.

  "The twins are under aged for that kind of party," Mr Neel thankfully reminded Jake.

  "But Richard told me his sister will be there too and she is their age. I'll keep an eye out on them," Jake said before winking mischievously at the girls reducing them to squeals and giggles. Even I was grinning.

  "Okay then..," Mr Neel reluctantly," I'll trust Lucy to look after you guys and make sure no one gets in trouble. "

  "Wha..," I started to gasp out a protest," but Jake cut in quickly, "That's great dad. We'll have a smashing time off it."

  I only glared at him. I did not want to be the babysitter. It was a stuffy role albeit very much in line with my personality.

  "Let’s wash up, love," Mrs Neel reminded us hours later for we had been lounging at the dining table reminiscing over past trips to the cottage, the mischiefs we had gotten into and laughing over the secrets that came out into the open.

  "I can't believe it was you who put that lizard on my bed," cried out Cat for the umpteenth time.

  I only shook my head and let Jake and Cat fight that out themselves. Picking up the dishes I went to help Mrs Neel load up the dishwasher then after saying a round of good night I went to change into my pyjamas but as I got there Emily was already in her night clothes carrying a pillow and blankets out to join Cat on the sofa-bed in the living room.

  "Aren't you sharing with Jake?" I asked her for she had been sharing his bed over every past visit.

  "Nope I'll sleep in the living room with Cat," she said moving to push past.

  "Wait Cat could sleep with Jake," I said wanting to avoid my looming fate.

  "Nope," Emil shook her head," I need her with me," she explained simply and I believed she did, the two were incredibly close. So I only nodded my head but I couldn't well share Jake's bed with him not after I... nope I simply couldn't.

  I changed quickly and grabbed my blankets and pillow deciding to sleep on the chaise in the living room only to find my way barred by Jake.

  "Where are you going? The twins have taken the sofa-bed," he reminded me. I stared past him into the darken corridor behind him and realised everyone else had turned in to bed.

  "I was going to take the chaise," I mumbled out, "the double bed won't hold the two of us," I reminded him for he was huge and I wasn't small either.

  "We'll manage," he replied huskily, "the chaise won't be comfortable. Get in the bed. I'll go change."

  I found myself nodding and obeying. The strange tension that had been haunting me throughout the day was back humming and crackling in the air between us. I watched him grab his pyjama bottom and head into the bathroom. Then I got under the duvets and shivered while I waited.

  I huddled under the duvet trying to warm myself knowing full well that it was not the chill but the tension that was causing me to break out in shivers. I tried to rub the goosebumps away and think of anything other than Jake unclothing behind the closed door only inches away from the bed. My mind kept playing on the fact that he took no top only a pyjama bottom. I had never been that close to a naked male chest before... well except that once… I chalked my reactions all up to anything else, refusing to consider an alternative, at least not one that would cast me off on the same boat with Emily. I was not…

  The room blared bright as the bathroom door opened to reveal Jake but I had squeezed my eyes shut and turned to face the other way.

  "You're on my side of the bed," said Jake gently as he lifted the duvet to slide in beside me. "Here I'll shift you,” he whispered before sliding his arm beneath me and hauling my tense body over to him. I bit my lips and gritted my teeth tightly, as I all but whimpered at the contact.

  "Shh it’s alright. I got you," he soothed as he continued to whisper huskily in my ear but I couldn't comprehend. I seemed to have lost all rational thoughts.

  “Do you recall it? Your sixteenth birthday?” Jake whispered bringing up that tabooed subject just as he settled me not to the side but on top of him. His hands wrapped about me as he said, “Two years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. There has not been a day since that I hadn’t thought back to that day.”

  I flushed red in embarrassment recalling that day all to well. I had behaved like a wanton throwing myself at him over the slightest show of his interest. Wrapped in his arms as I was, my body aflame by mere contact with his, I didn’t need this reminder. It was not as if..as if..as..if…oh god! His hands absentmindedly swept down my back in a caressing stroke that repeated itself, again and again. I broke out in a goosebumps from the shivers that was raking through me. I hoped he didn’t notice.

  “I don’t think of it at all,” I managed to get out through gritted teeth.

  “Don’t you? Well we can’t have that now can we,” Jake said mildly as he continued to run his hand strokingly down my spine racking havoc to me sense of wellbeing along the way. I beginning to crave in a way I hadn’t ever before. If he knew what was good for him. He should stop…real soon.

/>   “I don’t understand,” I muttered despairingly as I tried in vain to pull away. It was as if the forces of nature was against me for despite Jake’s relatively relaxed hold on me I couldn’t seem to pry myself even an inch away. The only movement I seemed to manage at all was a push forward one that pressed me deeper into his warmth.

  “Shhh,” he soothed again as my rebelling body twitched against him in futile resistance before it instantly succumbed again to melt over him in a mindless him. “I got you,’’ he whispered as if responding to my unvoiced concern. Not! I knew he got me…that was the whole problem. I tugged away again lamely or at least I thought I did for in reality I hadn’t moved an inch. I must have been straining at war against my inner self for his whispered command, “Sleep,” hit me like a ton of hot bricks.

  I was finally, thankfully out like light.

  Chapter 3

  I woke to the bright glare of the morning sun and shaking bed. The rattling and rocking movement of the mattress made me vaguely consider the possibility I was in a boat out at sea or at the very least the devious twins had set me, mattress and all adrift on a raft in it. I pried my eyes open to find Cat curled up at my side just like her feline counterpart would on encountering a soft berth of this mattress. But Cat was not causing the rocking, glancing away from her Cheshire kitten smile, I painstakingly turned to my other side to face Emily bouncing on her knees as she impatiently waited for me to awaken.

  What now? I silently wondered to myself even as I took in her mischievous grin.

  “Soooo..,’ Emily started before intentionally trailing off into silence.

  “So what?” I asked irritably. They were ruining my weekend sleep in. They better have a good reason for it.

  “So you and Jake, huh?” Emily asked a little uncertainly her plastered smile wavering a little.

  “Jake and I, huh..,what?” I was playing it dumb not wanting to put my foot in it until I had to.

  Her smile faded away altogether. “You were sleeping in his arms all night. I know, I came to use the toilet last night and saw…,” she trailed off uncertainly.

  “Nothing happened,” I said worriedly recalling that her infatuation with Jake was still very recent unlike my own that seemed to span back to forever or more precisely, my 16th birthday. But the twins were aware of that one lapse in judgement. They knew I felt something for him and that I would never…ever act on it. That is if I can avoid another night like last night. I doubt my sense could withstand another onslaught of Jake. If I hadn’t been so worn down from a long day, nothing would have stopped me from ripping off…and taking what…I wanted.

  “He wants something to happen,” Emily stated matter-of-factly earning a wary look from me. She was taking this a little oddly.

  “Why would you say that?” I asked indulgently humouring her.

  “Because I saw him looking at you. He was wide awake. It was three in the morning and he was awake, just holding onto you …watching you sleep.”

  I stared into her shimmering baby blues and knew she was telling the truth. Oddly, while I regreted the hurt she must be facing, I was quietly ecstatic that Jake, contrary to all appearances was not immune to me. That he must still feel something for me. Even now, after two years. The hidden thrill I felt at that revelation must have showed in my expressive eyes for Emily was quick to pick up on it.

  Her sad eyes faked amusement as she said,” Looks like the bell is ringing on both ends.”

  “Emily…” I called out but she was already off the bed and heading back out the door. I turned urgently to face Cat who only shrugged her shoulders indifferently before rushing off after Emily.

  Damn shadow! I huffed silently to myself as I collapsed back onto the bed. Deciding my plans for a sleep in was already well and truly ruined, I got up off the bed and got dressed in records time. I had donned on a pair of knee high loose jeans cut-offs that did nothing for my figure and dropped a crisp white shirt over my miss-matched white bikini top. I was unimaginative over my choice in dressing. Unlike my sister, Emily who had the talent for staying in mainstream fashion, I stayed out of it altogether, through no efforts of my own.

  The house was silent marking it empty. Everyone must have had the same idea on rising this morning to hit the beach first thing. I grabbed a beach towel, beach bag, already packed with the necessities and my sunnies, stopping only to grab a quick breakfast before I too headed off down to the beach.

  I waved my hand at the Neels seated together on portable beach lounging chairs under a beach umbrella before I moved off to join Emily and Cat sunbathing further down the beach.

  No! I only just held in that outright exclamation as I gingerly made my way past some rocky surface and closed in on the twins. Always a handful, they were more so now than not. Possitively two hands full…no make that four. My sisters were topless. Sunbathing with their bikini tops off.

  “Are you freaking out of your minds?” I couldn’t rein in the temper afterall. “Put some fucking clothes on!”

  “There is no one here but us. The Neels are too far back to really see us… and don’t worry, Jake has gone in to town,” said Cat covering all the basics matter of factly.

  “I don’t care if you were on an abandoned island. Cover up now!” I threw on my angriest bigger sister tone of voice and glared mightily. It was my fail proof stance that I had used in the past but today it seemed to have no impact on my recalcitrant little sisters.

  “Do we have to?” They whinnied up at me needling.

  “Right, I’m calling Dad!” I stuck my hand into my beach bag to rummage around convincingly looking for a phone that I recalled only too well having left it back in the house with my other belongings.

  “Okay, okay,” Emily stated soothingly even as she and Cat leaped to their feet to rummage about the mess of their belongings strewn around them to pluck a random top and slip it back on. I shook my head as they assisted each other to tie up the strings.

  Strangely drained, I moved further away deciding I need space from the twins if I were to get any relaxation at all. I clambered over the next cascading rocks and walked along the smooth beach there. My feet coming to a halt all on their own as my gaze took in the aqua blue green sea beyond. I dropped my beach towel where I stood then bent to spread it out before I unfolded my length onto it. Bone deep relaxation instantly flooded my being. So it was with immense effort that I heaved myself up later to apply the much needed sun protection lotion.

  “Here let me.”

  I looked up in surprise at hearing that gruff tone. It was vaguely familiar just as the face behind it. I squinted through the bright sunlight for the moment before realisation struck, “Richard?”

  He didn’t answer but dropped down onto his haunches to grab the bottle of lotion from my nerveless fingers. Squirting a good portion on my abdomen, he pressed his hand palm down onto my heated skin to rub the protection in soothing circles. My gaze was drawn to his darken swirling depths and I found myself shaking….shaking awake.

  The image of dark eyed Richard dissipated to be replaced by the bright eyed Jake. “You’ll burn to crisp if you’re not careful,” he said grinning down at me as he continued to apply the lotion. Had I been dreaming? If so why of him

  “When did you get here?” I asked uncertainly.

  “Not long after you plopped yourself down here. I saw you from on top,” he replied pointing at the overhanging cliff on which the house stood.

  “Oh,” I was shaken by my thoughts of Richard. Richard of all people. Why him?

  The hand on my stomach shifted down to my legs and I was still too lethargic to do much else other than watch as it slid up and down in smooth strokes sending the already burning fires within into an onrushing inferno.

  I bit my lips and tried to hold in my reaction but my unfaithful body betrayed me again. Goosebumps broke out along my skin but that was not the worst of it. Nope the very worst was my pebbled nipples that had drawn and fixated Jake’s interested gaze. I flushed red in humilia
tion.

  “I’ve been thinking,” Jake started after an awkward pause.

  “Yes?” I asked vaguely trying to temper down my bodies reactions by thinking of anything else other than the hand on my thighs. I should just tell him to stop…but then that would be even more obvious of my interest …wouldn’t it. But could it get more obvious than what it already was? I opened my mouth to tell him to stop but his hand slid just then to idly glide along my inner thigh. All speech got strangled in my throat as I nearly choked in holding back the cries of pleasure.

  “You’re not sixteen, anymore,” Jake said looking at where his hands was now resting. Then his gaze abruptly swung back to meet mine though the useless tinted sunglasses. “Think about it,” he said enigmatically before rising to his feet and abruptly walking away.

  “Think about it,” I muttered under my breath, as if I could think of anything else.

  **********

  The rest of the day passed in a blur. I was back at the house to help out in preparing sandwiches for lunch then I joined the girls for a quiet afternoon snooze which the men did their best to disrupt with their uproarious call-outs and hollers over a game of baseball. But having heard it all before and knowing what to expect I took adequate measures to ensure my sleep was uninterrupted. The twins had the worst of it for they were out there next to the blaring TV and roaring men while I had the peace and tranquillity that four walls and a closed door afforded.

  It was the pillow lifted off my face that first roused me from my sleep. I blinked up sleepily. “You know you sleep entirely too much,” said Jake leaning over me. I reached out absentmindedly to swat him before I tugged the pillow back over my head and tried not to breath in his rousing scent.