by H. M. Irwing
“Jake..,” I called out shakily.
“I’m here baby. I’m here,” he said before shifting me so that I fitted well over his hard length.
I whimpered again and pressed in. His groan was like music to my ears making me rub up against him.
My world tipped and rolled and I found myself on my back with Jake pressing urgently in on me. I reached up hungrily for his lips but he evaded mine.
I thrashed against him wanting more but he held me tight.
“No baby. Lucy please. We can’t. You …have to… stop,” he whispered between kissing my neck and rubbing his length against me.
Then he shook his head as if to clear it and reared up on his forearms. He loomed over me patiently waiting for me to settle down and meet his gaze.
His gaze was hot but his expression serious, “We cannot do this. I know you want to and I want to also…. But not like this. You are not ready. Not yet.”
I started to hyper ventilate and Jake gathered me back up against him and rocking me against him. My hips bucked up beneath him to press up onto him. A torrent of intense feeling flooded me so intense that I was reduced to begging, “Please Jake… please.” I begged for I don’t know what only knowing I wanted ...no needed more.
“Hush darling soon but not now, not... now,” he repeated firmly drawing back,” I care for you too much to simply take you simply because I feel an overwhelming urge to. I know better and so,” he reminded me, “do you.”
He was right. What was I doing? I was abruptly jolted out of the consuming haze of lust. This is not me. Jake is not for me. I reminded myself repeating the mantra that I have been regurgitating since hitting a belated puberty at 1sixteen. I bit my inner cheek so that the pain drowned out the momentary lust and my head cleared a little.
I moved to shove him off and he sighed but rolled to the side pulling me up against him despite my protests.
“No it’s taken you long enough to acknowledge this is between us. I won’t allow you to brush it aside this time. You were always too young in the past so I never pushed but not anymore. You won’t be able to stop me from making you mine. You know this is right. We are right but we will do this slowly one step at a time,” he said holding me tight. I couldn’t help but crush him to me in return. It will never work. We will never be. This I knew instinctively.
We both fell silent then each lost in our own thoughts and then a long time later, Jake spoke, “Don’t think. Sleep.”
So I did. Closing my tired eyes I gave into slumber in his arms.
************
I could hardly breathe. I woke up in pitch darkness to find Jake sprawled over me meshing me into the mattress. I shifted to shove at him but he only snuggled in closer.
"Jake!" I whispered aloud.
"Yes," he replied sounding incredibly alert.
"You're awake?" I asked him in surprise.
"Yes," he replied tightly and just like that the sexual tension that was never far resurfaced so that I shivered and trembled in reaction.
"Don't,” he groaned out loud.
"I can't help it. This was a bad idea," I whispered my hands crawling up and over his back feeling him up even as I was clutching him closer.
"I know but I saw no other way," he murmured softly into my ear sending thrills coursing down my spine.
"You should have just left things as they were," I got out some lucid thoughts amidst my lust filled ones. Communicating was difficult.
"If you hadn't been that young I would have never agreed to such preposterous notion, in the first place. You had a valid excuse back then but ..not.. anymore," Jake muttered angrily as he desperately avoided my searching lips again. We rolled and tumbled on the narrow berth. A double bed was no place for a full grown six foot tall athletic male. Hot hot male.
Our hands travelled unhindered roving to where they will and exploring where they must.
My first and only kiss had been on my 16th birthday and with this man I was lusting after.
I could recall that day well. It was from that sleek dive into the water that two year ago had my whole world turned on its axis and made me view him differently. The same Jake, that I had grown up with and played countless tricks on with my fateful sidekick, the twins, was the Jake I suddenly couldn't tear my eyes away from.
He had been laughing at his own antics when his head emerged from the water flipping the wet strands up and away from his face his gaze sought and found mine. The lust I had felt then was so acute it had me reeling as I spun away to dash off into his room where our things were always stored. That had been my mistake. I hadn't realised he'd come after me, that the first place he would look would be in his own room but he did and he found me. I was sitting on the edge of the bed still shaking from reaction trying to calm my racing heart. I needed to think clearly. To make sense of what I was feeling for..Jake.
"Lucy?" He'd call out my name from the doorway.
I shouldn't have turned to look but I did and then he was coming in and shutting the door behind him, locking it. Meeting my gaze I saw the same deep heated lust that I was feeling reflected in his eyes. I blinked and then he was before me. Soaking wet from the pool and dripping a puddle on the floor as he knelt before me.
Without a word we each leaned forward slowly our gaze unblinkingly on each other’s until our lips meshed in our first kiss. Then my world tilted back and his wet body was pressed into mine. I wrapped my limbs about him and hung on for dear life.
It was the most thrilling moment of my life. My first kiss was beautiful. He was tender and gentle but rough and urgent at the same time. Straining on his forearms he did his out most to hold back to not take my lips as he would but after the third and fourth kiss his control broke. "Sorry," he had muttered against my lips before he took them again the way he would, roughly, to part and then plunder their depths. I could only moan out loud and beg for more with my body rubbing up against his.
I opened my mouth wide to take in all he offered and returned his kisses with my own. We lay there on his bed writhing against each other until a loud hammering rang on his door.
"Hey Jake? Are you in there man? Who's the chick? Want to share?" The loud jeers and laughter of his rich spoilt friends rang out from the other side of the door jerking me back to my senses. I had panicked and shoving him off I tumbled out of the bed and set my swimsuit to rights before I clambered out the window.
Thinking of that disruption to my first kiss served like a dash of cold water on my heated libido making me realise afresh that were not meant to be.
The heat of his body washed over me in waves silently working against my will eroding away reasons to keep our distance to go on as before. His very presence was a drug in itself and I was a confirmed addict. For why else would I keep throwing myself into his presence? I knew I could not have him but I couldn't keep away either. This was unnatural what we had between us. Even I knew that. Knew it and couldn't fight it. It had been an effort every time since that first kiss to restrain myself from throwing him down and having my wicked ways with him but I had managed for two years straight to do just that. So why now… why break my only rule... now?
He groaned against me pulling me closer holding me tighter in his embrace until our chest rose and fell as one sharing each breath each gasp for air that our passions for each other strived to deprive us.
He nuzzled my neck raining gentle kisses across my collar bone before settling into a spot and suckling hard. I worked hard to keep from crying out for the pleasure pain was intense flinging me back into my memories of my sixteenth birthday.
I had kept away from Jake for the rest of that day moving out of my way to avoid him dodging any room or paths where I could hear his voice or that of his friends. It was well past evening when I made it back to his room to grab my pj's. The mansion was pack to the brim so the twins and I had sleeping bags strewn about his room. I was glad the twins were already asleep in theirs so I had the comfort and security of knowing they were on hand to
save me from myself.
I rushed into the bathroom to change and emerged to find Jake sprawled on his bed waiting for me. I gasped and moved to shut myself in.
"Don't!" He whispered then moved off the bed towards me. Crowding me in as he pushed his way into the bathroom with me and shut the door behind him. I watched him turn the lock.
"We need to talk," he said seriously.
I moved back to listen. "Go ahead," I said warily.
"I've felt like this for you for a long time now. I've been feeling like a bloody pervert. I'm 19 now and you've only turned 16. I know you're still too young and I want you to know I will be here for you when you are ready for more. I will not kiss you again till you are," Jake said before lifting a trembling hand to run his fingers caressingly down my left cheek.
I felt my eyes water. I knew what he said was right and that this was what I wanted too but I couldn't help myself. The pain in my chest was blinding.
He pulled me into his arms unhesitatingly and enveloped me in his warm embrace. It felt like heaven. I don't know how long we stood there wrapped up in each other’s arms but that time was the last of it.
We had not spoken a word in reference to that first kiss again. Jake had reverted to being his usual self but the sizzle between us had not faded away as I had expected. It had only intensified over time. Today had been inevitable.
I turned my head wrapping his long strands around my fingers I wrenched his head off my neck and said," We cannot do this. I am too different from you. We move in different worlds."
I finally said all that has been haunting me over these years.
"You think I don't know that? It's been haunting me for years. Not the way you think. I know you hate my circle of friends. That you would never fit in but that was just it. I don't want you to fit in. I want you to stay as you are pure and uncorrupted," Jake demanded vehemently," It was why I kept my distance all these years but I can't. ..I cannot keep away ...any longer. "
I sighed knowing we have reached a stalemate at this point, one we will not be able to overcome this night.
"Just give us a chance. That's all I ask," Jake said whilst looking at me so earnestly that I caved in. Looking into his soft caring eyes I could only nod unhesitatingly in agreement.
"But there are rules," I stated quickly, "I would like us to be quiet about this at least until I'm certain this is what I want."
"Agreed!" Jake exclaimed excitedly. I only smirked happily at his enthusiasm before he engulfed me in a bear hug then rolled over to settle me on his chest. Then he buried his face in my hair and whispered softly, "You know I’m right in this. It’s time we acknowledge what we have. Kiss me."
And I obligingly did.
Chapter 6
"Wake up sleepy heads."
I awoke to find we had somehow twisted over for Jake's heavy head now lay on my chest flattening out my already barely there breasts. I looked up groggily to find Mr Neel looking down at us in inquiry. I gave him a red-faced sheepish smile before rapping at Jake's head to rouse him up.
"Ouch!" He grimaced down at me but I only nodded at a point over his shoulder.
"Dad!"
"I'd like to see the both of you as soon as you are decent," said Mr Neel before backing out the door.
I was more than mortified at being caught in next to nothing with only Jake to bar me from view but Jake appeared unperturbed. With an impish smile my way, Jake scattered off the bed in a rush to get dressed to face his dad. I moved off at a slower pace. But even so it was not long after before we were both holding hands and facing the door that held our judgement.
"Dad," greeted Jake as we moved into the dining room. Seeing us arrive Mrs Neel excused herself to get more coffee. I was glad to note the twins were not present.
"Sit down," Mr Neel said then waited for us to comply before he continued on," Your dad and I have been best of friends our whole lives so I believe I can speak for him when I say I don't like where this is going, " he said abruptly nodding to our still joined hands. I released my hold as if charred from holding hot bricks.
I should not have been surprised after all Jake was their only child it is natural they would only want the very best for him. That was one thing I was most certainly not. I opened my mouth to apologise and accept his decision but Jake beat me to it.
Fuming mad he spat out," What the hell dad? This is my choice...our choice. It has nothing to do with either you or Lucy's dad."
"I raised you better than to speak back to me, son," Mr Neel replied shaking his head in disappointment.
I moved to reassure Mr Neel but was cut off again. "We don't need your approval Dad."
Then I was being tugged out of my chair and then straight out of the house after Jake. His grip on my hand remained unrelenting and I was dragged willy nilly down to the beach where without pausing he hauled me in right up against him and crushed me in tight.
I wrapped my arms about him hesitatingly. I knew where his dad was coming from and what we felt for each other would not go down well with anyone. My dad, the twins and of course mum would not be happy and Jake's parents obviously weren't. I could foresee his friends would only look down on me and well there was just no sunshine looming at the end of the horizon. I know that as did Jake. We've always known. We were worlds apart and that will not change simply because we wish it.
I murmured soothing words as I clutched him closer unwilling to bring this embrace to an end for end it must.
"Jake..," I finally if reluctantly whispered.
He shook his head against me sensing what I was about to say. "No!"
"Jake.."
"I said no! I am not giving us up. You and I are meant to be. This..," he said, indicating to the sexual tension that even now gripped us, “isn't normal. What we feel for each other is so unique it will be stupid to try and deny it. We are meant to be and I will prove it to all who try to deny us," Jake concluded vehemently.
Then his stomach grumbled and he groaned out loud. "I need food. Let's go grab breakfast."
Then I was tugged back towards his house and told to wait outside while he ran in to grab his wallet and keys. Then I was being rushed to the Range rover and buckled into its plush seats before being driven off to the nearest cafe.
We took a booth furthest from the entry way to get a little quiet where we could talk as we ate. Only we didn’t talk. Neither of us really wanted to. We were happier to simply ignore the looming clouds and tuck into our first meal of the day with a slight more attention then was needed.
"Jake? Are you coming tonight?"
We turned as one to see who was calling.
Celine Reeves, Richards’s sister was rushing over to meet us. Not sparing me a glance she even ignored how Jake was gripping my hand and flung herself at him to plant a kiss smack on his lips. I winced.
Then I noted that Jake did too and relaxed a little. As long as Jake wasn't happy to see her I could do this.
"Excuse me," I said politely. "But could you get your lips off my boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" Celine questioned in surprise with a raised brow.
"I can explain," Jake muttered uncomfortably.
I looked in askance at the two not happy with the way things were going.
"It’s not what you think Lucy," said Jake placatingly reading my tight expression right.
"Celine and I are engaged but it’s a paper engagement prepared by our parents. Its why Dad is so unhappy about us," Jake explained then gestured wildly between Celine and himself, "We are not at all in anyway engaged."
"Oh darling how could you," pouted Celine prettily but then she laughed out loud as if it was the greatest joke. I didn't get it. I didn't get them and their strange humour. I never have and never will. What I could never understand was just how Jake could fit their mould and ours at the same time.
“I don’t understand,” I said utterly confused.
"So I'll see you tonight babe," Celine continued flirtously as if I had never spoken and just lik
e that ...like always I was set aside.
"Sure you will and Lucy too. Lucy is my date. Tonight is our first official date," Jake said excited. I was appalled did he have to tell her it was our first date. That just eroded what little sense of security I felt in us. It was apparent Jake did consider Celine as his friend. Perhaps even a good friend like her playboy brother Richard is to him.
I knew all about them having heard endless tales of their escapades over time that Jake and the twins had faithfully related. They were all to some degree besotted by the Reeves siblings. I couldn't see the attraction. So they were both hot to look at, they smelled of old money and they dated celebrities but that was nothing that held any interest with me. As far as I know Richard and Celine are just brats.
I still recalled my one and only ever one to one with Richard. It was on my sixteenth birthday right after I clambered out Jake's bedroom window. After receiving my first kiss. Richard had been right there waiting, as if expecting me. I averted my gaze as soon as I spotted him leaning against a tree close by. I refused to acknowledge him as I made to move past for even back then I had already heard plenty about Richard's reputation.
"Happy Birthday Lucy. Happy Sweet Sixteenth," Richard had said in his deceptively quiet tone.
I had paused mid stride then finding his greeting difficult to ignore.
"Thank you," I replied softly reluctantly raising my gaze to meet his dark glittering ones. He only nodded silently in acknowledgement and watched me scuttle swiftly away.
I was not looking forward to meeting him tonight. No doubt he had never spared me a thought since but nevertheless meeting him did not inspire confidence in me. A recollection of the strange dream I had earlier about Richard pervaded my mind but I resolutely shut him out. I would make sense of that later. There was so much else that demanded my attentions now.
I found I could no longer stomach my breakfast. My appetite had gone. I looked over at Celine who was laughing happily at something Jake said and watched his eyes light up in enjoyment. He liked making her happy. It pleased him which is more than I can say over his reaction to my unhappiness. Has he even noticed? I watched as he waved a waitress over and asked for some more coffee with a friendly wink. Did he flirt with everyone? How come I've never noticed this before now?
