by Belleza
“You hungry?” I questioned her.
She finally looked my way with a blank stare and nodded her head. The look on her face broke my heart because it was the same look Amena had on her face when she realized her mother wasn’t coming home.
***
Despite the run in with my mother our day was cool. Corryn refrained from asking me any questions and we enjoyed each other's company. I could tell there were so many questions on her mind, but she left it alone and contributed in occupying my mind, so I wouldn’t end up back in that dark place.
After ordering take out a Chili’s we went back home and relaxed. Corryn gave me some head and curled up under me as we slept the day away. The pregnancy was taking a toll on the both of us, but I kept waking up with the family I used to have on my mind.
Going in and out of sleep in my bed, I checked the time and saw that it was after midnight. Corryn laid naked tangled in my sheets, with her hand on her stomach. The position brought a smile to my face and was a reminder that I was going to make sure my seed never experienced what I went through.
I was jealous that I couldn’t be peacefully asleep the way she was. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to get some real rest until I got this shit off my chest, I got up out of the bed after placing a soft kiss on Corryn’s temple and left out of the bedroom with my phone in hand.
Closing the door softly, I walked down the stairs and dialed up Amena. I don’t know why I called her this late at night, but it was worth a shot. She answered on the first ring sounding like she was jumping out of bed.
“Mar! What’s going on?”
“Nothing, man, calm ya ass down and get back in bed.”
She huffed. “You can’t be calling people in the middle of the night and think they won’t think something is wrong. I’ve been waiting to hear from y’all. How was the appointment? Is my little baby okay?”
“Yeah, the baby straight. After we left the hospital, we got food and be knocked out all day,” I explained taking a seat on the sofa. “I had to let you know something.”
“Oh my God, if it couldn’t wait it must be serious.”
“I saw her. Well… she saw me and put on this fucking show begging for money and shouting I was in the NBA.”
The line got quiet. I only knew Amena was still on the line because I heard her breathing and my phone was still on the call screen.
“So, she’s not dead.”
“Not, yet. She better hope I don’t see her again, alone.”
“Was CoCo with you?”
“Yeah, she was trying to talk to me about it, but I kind of brushed her off. I have a lot of making up to do.”
Thinking about the way Corryn looked after I yelled at her had my stomach getting tight. All she was doing was being genuine and I had her feeling like shit.
“Well… ain’t nothing we can do. We moved on. Just make sure you do your part with CoCo. I can imagine how you made her feel.”
I ran my hands over my face. “Don’t rub it in. I got this over here. You good though?”
“Yes, Mar. I’ve been great for years because of you. It doesn’t bother me anymore.”
“Good. My main concern was making sure you can deal with it if you ever crossed paths with her.”
“I’m sure I can. Better than you,” she laughed making light of the situation.
“We’ll see. Take your ass back to bed.”
“Wow. After you wake me up, you’re basically forcing me back to sleep. Goodnight Amare.”
“Nite little girl,” I told her hanging up the phone.
Truth in the matter is that I didn’t know how to react to the fact of seeing my mother again and I wanted Amena to mentlly prepare so she wouldn’t be caught off guard like me. I got back up and went to the room to cuddle up under my girl and get some real sleep. As long as Amena was good, I was as well.
CoCo
“So, what do I do? I’m driving myself crazy because I feel like no help.”
“Exactly what you’re doing. Being there for him. As women we feel like digging for answers means we’re helping but it can do more damage than good. Men have a certain way of dealing with things that includes shutting down. It’s not healthy, but that’s just the way they will operate. Eventually they’ll get ready to share what’s on their mind, but it gotta be on their time.”
Digging into my food, I twirled my fork into the shrimp lo mien and shoved it into my mouth. I went from having no appetite to wanting everything in a matter of days and Amena and Sharita were all for it. Today was the first day I decided to have the nail salon closed. Monday was one of the slowest days, along with Tuesday. Sunday was a potential money maker since other nail salons were often closed, so I easily went with those two days. Tuesday’s, I left Sharita in charge.
Since it was my business, I didn’t think I needed a break but with a baby on the way and looking into opening up new locations I needed time to myself. The weekdays were a plus because most of the things I had to do had to be done during business hours.
Since we all were off with nothing to do, I called them up for food and drinks at this Asian restaurant I searched. I of course had a water with lemon.
“Not, Amare,” Amena chimed in after taking a sip of her soda. “He keep shit bottled in and then snap. It’s always been that way.”
“So, what do I do?” I questioned her. It had me feeling like a failure because I was soon going to be this man's wife and didn’t know how to handle his mean streaks. It hurt like fucking hell to even be on the receiving end of it. But it was partly my fault. Everyone knows not to jump in front of a raging bull.
“Like Rita said, just be there. Amare did call me last night. I’m assuming you were asleep. He saw our mother and was asking me if I’d be okay seeing her.”
“Well would you?”
Amena nodded her head. “Honestly, I’ve seen her on many occasions. I just never told Amare because I feared what he would do if he saw her. If he hates anyone, I know he hates her.”
“I’m trying to understand,” I mumbled feeling that defeated emotion again. “How can you hate your mom?”
She chewed the food she had in her mouth and then swallowed. “She left us with nothing. She tormented our father when he’s been more of a parent than she has ever been. Yes, he didn’t work but you don’t need money to be a provider. He gave us love, knowledge, and protection. My mother worked but she never had to lift a finger. He cooked, cleaned, washed clothes, fixed shit in the house. It was falling apart at one point and because of my father everything was repaired and remodeled.”
“Sounds like a great man,” Sharita added. “It’s society that make you believe that you gotta have a man that makes money and if he does it gotta be more than your salary. These new niggas make bitches that way though. They wear clothes tighter than ours and scared to get their hands dirty.”
“My mother was cheating on my father. She didn’t think I knew, but I did and I’m sure my father did as well. That man had the job and buying her nice things and I’m pretty sure he’s the reason she’s strung out now. She bitched about a man providing and all he gave her was an addiction.”
“I can’t imagine not having both parents. My mom is a piece of work, but I wouldn’t know what I’d do without her,” I admitted. “Y’all are strong for overcoming that.”
“What about your dad?” Amena inquired.
I shrugged. “All I know is that he left once he found out my mother was pregnant with me.”
“Does that make you upset?”
“No, only because I know there are two sides to every story. I have a habit of seeing the good in everyone. That’s just the way I function, and it could be a gift and curse. I do wonder sometimes what’s he like or even if my mom is being honest with me. When I ask about him it’s always an attitude or she just simply said they were in love and he left her to raise a baby on her own.”
“Did she at least tell you his name?”
I shook my head finally realizing that s
he never even gave me that. How she spoke about so much history but couldn’t give me details on him. Not even a picture. It was always how she loved him so much and he left her. “Nope, not even a name. Maybe she had a one-night stand and is afraid to admit it.”
“If so, shit happens,” Sharita added taking a gulp of her soda.
“It does, but it’ll be nice to have my baby know both sides of his or her family.”
That caused Amena’s face to ball up and she reared her head back. “Hoe, you sound like you’re about to be a single mom out in these streets. My niece and nephew got me.”
“I’m talking about as far as the grandparents,” I giggled. “Both of our fathers aren’t here; it’ll be nice to have the grandmothers active.”
“If she couldn’t be a mom, she can’t be a grandmother. It’s levels to this shit and I’ll be damned if she even have her crackhead ass around my baby.”
I knew it was a lost cause having Amena see things my way. We both didn’t have much of a family because of the missing pieces in our lives, but it definitely shaped our lives and way of thinking differently.
“Speaking of motherhood, how are you guys enjoying it?” I joked.
Sharita smiled while Amena frowned. “I’m not a mother… or a step mother. No offense,” she said looking Sharita’s way. “But I just can’t wrap my mind around Wesley having a baby with his ex. It’s not fair and now that they’re getting along, I feel very insecure. I haven’t seen him in a while and when I ask, he has all the time in the world to be around her.”
“They’re having a baby, Mena. He gotta be there for her,” I tried to reason with her, but it only made her frown deepen.
“Exactly, having a baby. The baby isn’t here yet, so imagine when he gets here? I felt the drift and I knew Wesley wasn’t around her just to talk. He’s a man. I’m just glad I ain’t waste my time and let Mar know we were getting together. That would’ve been a big falling out for nothing.”
“You’re young, Mena. You got your whole life ahead of you to settle down. Date a few guys, travel the world, but definitely don’t sit here in Philly waiting on a man to pick you. It ain’t worth it,” Sharita told her and I couldn’t do anything but agree.
Wesley was a nice guy, but I was sure Amena wasn’t tripping when it came to the shift she was feeling. From what I heard, they cared for each other but right now wasn't their moment.
After spending a few hours eating and talking we went our separate ways. I couldn’t wait to get home and climb in bed. There was nothing like good food and relaxing.
When I got home, I saw Amare sitting on the couch with a cup in his hands. I assumed it was a drink. He had a faraway look on his face but smiled when he saw me. I approached him, stepping between his legs. I wasn’t expecting for him to be home, but now that he was, I was more than happy to have him to cuddle with.
“How was lunch?”
“Great. I got us some dinner because I don’t feel like cooking.”
I lifted the bag and he took it out of my hands and placed it on the side of him.
“That’s cool.”
His hands went to my waist and he lifted my shirt gazing at my somewhat flat stomach. There wasn’t anything visible, but he was so in love with being a father you couldn’t tell him anything.
Pressing his lips against my stomach, he pulled back and looked in awe. I could tell he was going to be a great father. I never experienced that fatherly love, so it had me excited just thinking about sharing that part of my life with him.
“Are you okay?” I asked for the hell of it. I knew Amena suggested I leave the topic alone, but I just couldn’t. It sounded weird, but when Mar was in a bad mood the energy shifted. As if I almost felt his pain.
“I’m better now. The shit was embarrassing as fuck.”
I lowered myself onto his lap and stared into his eyes.
“I get it. She was out there tripping talking about you were in the NBA.”
“The crazy thing is… she never paid attention to me when it came to basketball. She never came to any of my games. Having dreams of becoming a basketball player wasn’t good in her book because it was a gamble. Everyone doesn’t make it into the NBA and my own blood counted me out.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be because that shit is on her. I had a great chance of getting drafted. I was so nice I had scouts coming out to my games and offers for college in my junior year. It wasn’t meant to be and I’m fine with that.” Mar leaned up and pecked my lips a few times. “My bad about yesterday. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you, but I wanted to break her fucking neck. The memories of growing up rushed me as soon as I saw her. I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“I get it. It’s been a long time and like you said, you thought she was dead.”
“That’s why it’s so important for me to be everything you want and need. I took so many losses, I’m doing whatever I can to hold onto everything I love.”
“I’m not going nowhere, Mar.”
“I know,” he smirked lifting my hand and now I was rolling my eyes trying to hold back my laugh. He went from sentimental to goofy in a matter of minutes.
Had Amare not crossed my path I doubt that I would feel the way I felt now. Pitt had me feeling like love was conditional and ruined the happily ever after I thought that came out of a love story. True enough, perfect love stories didn’t exist but because of Amare I knew soul mates did.
Trevor
One Month Later…
Glancing at my phone in the cupholder of my car, I contemplated not answering but figured I might as well since Yvette was the type to blow up my shit until I answered. Lifting my phone, I hit the talk icon and put the phone to my ear.
I was getting tired of her nagging and was ready to cut ties. The only thing holding us together was her money. She’s gotten a bank account with both of our names to prove her loyalty to me so at any moment I can take the shit and go ghost on her.
“Yo.”
“Why do I have to call you fifty million times?” she hissed. “Where are you?”
“Last time I checked I paid this goddamn phone bill. Now, what the fuck you want?” I barked keeping my eye on the entrance of the salon.
From the looks of it, they were about to close up. There was one employee that was stopping me from making my move, so I waited just to get the chance to be alone.
It felt like forever since I’ve seen her which made me more anxious to get out of the car.
“Do you hear me, Trevor!” Yvette ranted, snatching me from my gaze.
“What the hell do you want?!” I spazzed.
“What are we going to do?! We can’t keep spending money and don’t have any coming in. I will fuck around and be broke again. I swear, you’re only messing with that girl because you want to fuck her. Amare is still alive and well.”
“Listen, I told you I got this. If you have a better idea you go figure some shit out.” I waited for her to agree which I knew she wouldn't. Yvette said that tough shit, but she really wasn’t about that life. Yes, she killed her husband, but it was probably for some get back crazy in love shit. He did do her dirty and it seemed like she couldn't get over that fact until she made him pay. As far as Amare, she didn’t want to make a move without me. She had the money, but she sure enough needed me more than I needed her. “Don’t worry about what I’m doing. I’m going to make sure we’re straight. Instead of being on my line, go do that shit y’all woman like to do and leave me the hell alone.”
Ending the call, I tossed it back on the passenger side of me just in time to see the employee leave out of the salon with her right behind her. I swiftly pulled open the door, got out and approached her until my back was firmly against her.
The sweet smell of her perfume got my dick hard. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply missing everything about her.
“I almost thought I lost you forever,” I said in a low mumble causing her to spin around to face me. I felt some
thing pointing into my abdomen and laughed when I saw it was a gun. I should've known better. Even as a felon I was surprised that she had it.
She looked angry, but the way the gun shook in her hand I knew she was terrified as well. It was a shame she wasn’t happy to see me because I was elated to see her. It’s been some long ass years without my rider. I’ve done good without her, but it was nothing like having the woman you loved by your side. Sharita was just that. If I said jump, she was going as high as she could. We caught a lot of bodies together and got money together. She was the true definition of a ride or die. It was a shame she was in there that whole time I’ve been out in the streets because she would’ve been right here with me.
Unmoved by the barrel of the gun she had digging into my abs, I gazed into her brown eyes, running my fingers through her golden tresses.
“I missed the shit out of you.”
“I hate you,” she seethed through gritted teeth.
I couldn’t lie and say that shit ain’t hurt. “After all I did for you? When you ain’t have shit and was hungry, I taught you how to fish rather than sitting the shit in front of you. I groomed you to be the woman that you are today, and this is the thanks that I get?
“You made my life a living hell! Where the hell were you when I was locked up?! You disappeared on me! I lost your fucking baby while I was in there.”
Her revelation caught me off guard and had me back away from the gun.
“You were pregnant.”
She dropped the gun at her side with her eyebrows bunched together as she peered at me. “Yes, I was but it doesn’t even matter now. As fucked up as it might’ve been it probably was the best outcome, especially since I was locked up and you were nowhere to be found.”
“Baby…” I took a step towards her and she lifted the gun back up.
“Don’t call me that!” she spat with the gun trained on me again. “I’m not your fucking baby. Stay away from me.”
