by Holly Rayner
Chapter 12
Julia
Three days later, I’ve had no luck in wiping Kal and Maya Harris from my mind.
I’ve tried everything. I’ve cleaned Shay’s house, even though it didn’t need it. I’ve picked up running again, starting each morning with a two-mile route along the river. I’ve even shot out some emails to clients to see if anyone has any work I can distract myself with.
It’s no use. Nothing can take my mind off what happened.
The awful part is that there’s no closure. I can’t make sense of all of this. That almost hurts more than Kal’s callous attitude.
Lacing up my sneakers, I head out for my second run of the day. If I’m lucky, I’ll push myself enough that sleep will be forced to visit me tonight. Since I’ve been waking up multiple times each night, Kal on my mind, that would be great.
Locking the door behind me, I glance next door before I can stop myself. Kal’s car isn’t there. It’s been gone all day long. I guess he’s at his workshop in town.
Is he thinking about me? Does he regret the ice-cold way he treated me even a little bit?
Shaking my head, I take off at a slight jog. Those aren’t thoughts I should be having. Kal showed his true colors, and there’s no use crying over it. I wasn’t given a resolution; I’ll have to make one up for myself.
Could be we wouldn’t have worked out anyway, even if he had been more open and honest. If that’s the case, then he’s a bullet dodged.
I take the long way to the river. The path running along it is dappled with shade from the overhead trees; water gurgles a soothing lullaby, and birds tweet merrily. It’s the medicine I need right now.
Pumping my arms, I pick up the pace. I’m out of shape, though. The last few months of caring for Mom were all-consuming. Going to the gym was something I had neither thought or care for.
Slowing down, I take a seat on a bench and catch my breath. Across the path, water flows over smooth stones. A few teenagers sit on the largest of them while their chocolate lab paddles nearby.
“Dad!” a little girl calls.
Every muscle in my body freezes, and my breath hitches in my chest. No, no, no.
I don’t want to look. They can’t be here. Kal is at work.
Footsteps smack against the path. A little girl with blond hair breezes by. A long exhale leaves me.
It’s not Maya, and the man she’s catching up with isn’t Kal.
Sooner or later, though, it will be them.
They live next door to me. It’s a small town.
Standing, I wipe my sweaty palms against my shorts. A few days ago, Sterling seemed to be paradise. Now it feels like a trap I can’t get out of.
This is supposed to be my place of healing. How can I make that happen with Kal near?
I know how I am with disappointments. Typically, once I’m done dating someone I need a clean break. It’s not that I want it that way; it’s what brings me the most peace.
There’s only one thing to do.
My feet are heavy as I walk back toward Shay’s house. For a while there, I was thinking about it as my house. Funny.
I’d even had thoughts of finding my own cottage to rent in Sterling, one close to Kal and Maya’s.
The tears are hot. I have to blink over and over to make them go away.
I’m still blinking when Magnolia waves at me from up ahead.
“Hey!” She meets me at the spot where the trail turns off for the street.
“Hey,” I say with forced brightness. “What’s going on?”
I place my hands on my hips and try to look happy. Problem is, I don’t remember how to do that. Should I smile? Would that be too much?
Magnolia twists her braid. “You haven’t been in for a few days.”
“Yeah, I’ve been…” I wave my hand. Like that explains it.
Her eyes narrow. “Are you okay, Julia?”
“I…” I end up choking on the words.
“Hey.” She touches my shoulder.
“I’m okay.” Taking a deep breath, I nod. If I say that, it will become truth sooner.
“Something happened.”
“Nothing important.” I start walking for the street, and she falls into step beside me. “Tell me what’s new with you.”
She sighs dramatically. “There’s this new hottie in town. He’s come in during my shifts every day the last week, but he barely looks at me. I don’t think he knows I exist.”
“I’m sorry. If he’s not even looking you in the eye, though, he can’t be that nice.”
“He is really, really cute though. Call me crazy, but he might even be hotter than Kal.”
The name makes me freeze up. Magnolia notices.
“What happened with Kal?”
Cat’s out of the bag now. And as much as talking about this hurts, I should at least give Magnolia the basic rundown. She’s been good to me during my short time in Sterling.
I sigh. “It’s more what didn’t happen,” I say. “I went over there for dinner a few nights ago. Everything was good until I mentioned my grandmother. Suddenly, Maya’s all sad because she’s never met her extended family, and Kal is angry.”
Magnolia’s lower lip juts out. “Angry? Why?”
“Exactly!” I wave my hands around.
“Huh. I guess you were right. There’s something fishy up with him.”
“Whatever it is, it’s no longer my problem. I can’t deal with this anymore.”
“Good for you,” she says. “It kind of sucks that he’s so hot, but…”
“His good looks were a trap.”
“They always are,” Magnolia sighs.
“I think I might head back to New York early.”
Magnolia is quiet for a long moment. The thud of our shoes on the street fills my head. I want to look at her, but I can’t. Guilt fills me.
Why? I don’t owe this town or the people here anything.
But I want to. God help me, I want Sterling to be my home.
Yet it can’t be. Not while Kal is here. It’s a surprise I haven’t run into him already. It’s only a matter of days, or hours, before that changes.
“Because of a guy?” Magnolia finally asks.
I cringe. “This wasn’t temporary. I was only supposed to come here for the summer, and it was to de-stress and take a break from life. If—”
“Julia, it’s okay. I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” She smiles, but it’s clear she’s trying hard to be supportive.
“I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” she says. “I feel like we’re already really good friends. Is that weird?”
“No, it’s how I feel as well.”
She looks down at her feet. We walk another half block in silence, this goodbye feeling like the mirror image of one I had not so long ago. Except then, I promised Laura that I would return a better and happier person.
That won’t be the case. If anything, I’ll be driving back into New York even more down and confused than when I left.
“I was thinking about moving here,” I mutter.
“That would be super cool.”
I nod, my throat all lumpy.
We turn onto my street.
“You don’t have to walk me all the way,” I tell her. “Weren’t you going for a walk at the river?”
“This is better. There I was alone.”
It occurs to me that I haven’t seen Magnolia hanging out with anyone else. She’s outgoing enough that she can’t be a loner. Maybe there aren’t that many people our age in Sterling.
Whatever it is, I feel bad for her.
“Hey, if you ever want to come to Brooklyn,” I say, “you know, to visit…”
“That would be amazing!”
Her excitement is childlike, reminding me of Maya. The dark cloud is one I can’t allow to hang over my head, so I smile wide as I can. Fake it till you make it.
“It would be fun,” I say. “I’d show
you everything.”
We’ve reached Shay’s house. Next door, Kal’s car is in the driveway. My stomach twists around itself, and my feet quit working.
“Hey,” Magnolia says. “Why don’t you go talk to him?”
I guffaw, then put my hands up. “Sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you. I tried that already. It was akin to talking to a wall.”
“Some men have trouble expressing their feelings.”
“Well,” I sigh, “if they’re adults they should figure out how to.”
“If you leave, when are you going to go?”
“I’m not sure.”
I am. Soon as I have everything packed up. Saying it out loud hurts too much.
“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” Magnolia wraps her arms around me, and I return the warm hug.
“I won’t,” I promise.
She continues down the street. As I approach Shay’s house, the mail truck pulls up and the driver hops onto the sidewalk.
“Hey,” I call before he makes it to the mailbox. “I’ll take that.”
He hands the stack of envelopes over and I thank him. As I walk across the lawn, I keep my gaze fixed on where it needs to be: the front door. No looking over at Kal is allowed.
Inside, I kick off my shoes and start flipping through the mail. I put in a request to have all my mail forwarded here for the duration of the summer, and so when you combine mine and Shay’s there’s a lot of it.
Anything with her name I put on the foyer table for safe keeping. Everything else I carry with me into the kitchen.
The first time around, I didn’t really read anything. I was only looking for Shay’s name. Now I go slower, actually looking at the return addresses.
Most of it is junk mail. Those I toss into the trash.
Leaning against the counter, I rip the first bill open. It’s from my internet company. I have everything on direct withdrawal, but it’s still nice to get the paper statement and make sure everything is good and normal. Call me Type A for that. Laura sure does.
The sound of a distant car door slamming makes me look up. Was that from Kal’s house?
It doesn’t matter, I remind myself as I rip into the next bill. What goes on over there is none of my business.
Kal sure doesn’t think it should be.
I pull the bill out of the envelope, then stop short. It’s not a bill at all. It’s a thick piece of paper with a faint floral scent.
Turning the envelope over, I check out the handwritten address. It’s for this neighborhood, but for someone named Nikos Galanis. The mailman brought the letter to the wrong house.
I stuff the folded letter back into the envelope with plans to find the intended recipient after I shower off the sweat from my jog, but something stops me.
Wait…
The address.
My breath catches as I read it again. It’s for next door. It’s Kal’s address.
Is he related to someone named Nikos Galanis?
I stare at the envelope. It’s wrong to open someone else’s mail, but technically I’ve already done that without meaning to. Is it really taking things that much further to read what’s inside?
Yes. It absolutely is.
Slamming the envelope down on the counter, I stalk in the direction of the shower. I make it all the way to the kitchen doorway.
The envelope is still there, in front of the toaster, begging me to open it up again.
If it’s too personal or not pertaining to Kal at all, no one will ever have to know you read it, the little voice in my head says. You can take it to its owner, say you opened it by accident, and forget all about whatever is inside.
She’s a convincing little devil. Or maybe angel.
It could be that the answer to everything is inside of that envelope.
Before I can second-guess myself, I cross the kitchen, grab the envelope, and rip the letter out.
Chapter 13
Julia
My hands shake, and my pulse races. What I’m doing feels wrong, but also necessary.
The handwriting is in perfect cursive and covers the length of the short piece of paper.
Dearest Nikos,
I do hope this letter finds you. It is my understanding that you have not relocated since we last conversed, although why you have failed to respond to any of my recent messages fails me.
Is it something that I did, I wonder? It seems that could not possibly be the case. Although I admittedly have not been your dogged champion the last eight years, I believe I have at least been supportive of you making your own decisions and exercising your freedom to create what you see as the best life for you and Maya.
It used to be I brought you up often. These past few months, it has not been at all. Surely, you know Father is ill.
At first, we assumed it was nothing more than a cold. If only!
Nikos, it pains me to write this, but our father’s days are numbered. The doctors will say little on the subject, but this is a daughter’s intuition speaking here. Gone is the vibrant (and yes, stubborn, and often overbearing) man. In his place is a being who some days is more sloth than human. He does little and speaks even less.
I implore you, Nikos, come home and make peace with him before it is too late. The burden you carry is heavy. I know that. But please strive to see things from my point of view. If you go the rest of your life without speaking to him again, I believe that you will regret it.
I will wait eagerly for your response, and even more eagerly for your embrace.
Your loving sister,
Thea
My legs have turned to jelly. Taking a few steps back, I drop into a chair at the table, letter in hand.
What the…?
To make sure it’s real, I read it two more times.
There’s no point in telling myself this letter was meant for anyone other than Kal. All signs have pointed toward him being estranged from his family, and now here is a letter addressed to someone estranged from their family, who happens to have a daughter called Maya.
It can’t be a coincidence, can it?
What happened between Kal and his dad? No. Between Nikos and his dad?
Closing my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose. Thinking about this gives me a headache. Kal—I mean, Nikos—changed his name? Why? Is he in some sort of trouble with the law?
“Oh my God,” I moan, putting the letter onto the table and dropping my head into my hands.
I’ve been dating a man who has a secret identity. Talk about crazy. People don’t have fake names unless there’s something to hide.
Before I know it, I’m up and pacing. I don’t know when it happened, but my phone is in my hand, my finger hovering over Kal’s name.
My breathing comes ragged. I shouldn’t call him. Not right now, when I’m this worked up. Instead, I need someone to vent to.
Usually, that would be Laura, but I haven’t explained the full story about Kal to her yet, and right now I’m not in the mood to do so. The next option is Magnolia.
“Hey,” she answers. “Miss me already?”
“Something happened.”
“Oh. Wow.” Her voice grows serious. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s nothing that bad,” I answer, raking my fingers through my hair. “No one’s hurt. It has to do with… Kal… and his weird behavior.”
Already, calling him “Kal” doesn’t seem right.
“I’m on my way. Be there in five.”
The line goes quiet.
With nothing to do while I wait for Magnolia, I start to reach for the letter again but stop myself. Reading it again will only work me up further. Some chamomile tea and long, easy breaths is what I need.
Magnolia arrives in what seems to be no time at all. She breezes in through the front door without even knocking. The tea kettle’s barely thought about steaming.
“Tell me everything,” she says with wide eyes.
“Take a look at that.” I gesture at the letter on the table. “It explains ever
ything.”
“Like about why Kal is secretive?”
“Oh, well… no… not that much. Just read it. Tea?”
“It’s hot.” She frowns.
I rip open a packet of vanilla chamomile and drop it in a mug. “Yeah, it’s comforting for me. Always has been.”
The kettle whistles. I pour the water into the mug while watching Magnolia inspect the letter. As she reads, her brow furrows deeper and deeper.
“Who’s Nikos?”
“I think it’s Kal.” Mug in hand, I take the seat next to her.
“Where is this from?” she asks, grabbing for the envelope. “I don’t see a return address, but wowza. Did you smell this?” She sniffs the letter. “That’s fancy.”
“Yeah. It is.” Drawing my legs into the chair, I wrap my arms around them.
“You’re going to confront him about this?”
“Confront is a strong word, but… yeah. I can’t walk away without knowing the full story.”
“When?” she asks.
“Uh…”
“His car’s not there. Actually, I think I will have some tea.” She reaches for mine and takes a sip of it.
“It was there earlier.”
Magnolia shrugs. “Guess he left.”
I nod. Okay. That’s good. That gives me more time to collect myself.
“Could you forgive him for lying to you?” Magnolia asks.
“It’s not only me he’s been lying to. He lives in this town under a fake name.”
“I always did think it was kind of weird his last name was Harris. Like it didn’t quite fit. You didn’t answer my question.”
I gnaw on my bottom lip. “That depends. What happens next? Does he tell me the truth? Can we grow closer from this?”
“You’re really into him.”
It’s hard to admit, but…
“Yeah. I am. I know I shouldn’t be. We haven’t known each other long, and it’s not like he owes me anything.”
As soon as I say that last part, I realize my error and backtrack.
“No, he does. Respect and the kind of transparency any normal person has. I told him about my past, even though it was hard.”
Saying any more will get me choked up, so I take a chug of tea instead.
