by K. Webster
“You okay?” I ask, sitting on the coffee table in front of her.
She nods. “I am. Can we talk?”
“Yeah. You want to go outside?”
Shaking her head, she stands. “We can go in my room.”
I follow her into her bedroom. She closes the door behind us. I take her hand and push her hoodie up her arm to look at where Renaldo hurt her. Seeing the bruises already forming has rage bubbling up inside me.
I want to kill him.
For Roux, I would.
“Hey,” she murmurs, seemingly reading my mind. “Don’t go there.”
“I fucking hate him.”
“Me too.”
Someone knocks on her bedroom door.
“Come in,” Roux says.
Hollis peeks his head in. “We’re going to grab dinner and then stop by Dad’s office. You guys coming?”
“No,” Roux says. “I’m tired and we have to talk.”
“Okay,” Hollis says and then his voice grows stern as he narrows his eyes at me. “Be good.”
I snort and flip him off. “Go away, rat.”
His grin makes me laugh. “We’ll bring back food.”
As soon as Hollis leaves, Roux kicks off her shoes and pulls off her hoodie before climbing on top of her covers. I lie down next to her, stroking her dark hair away from her face. Her amber eyes brew with a storm of emotions.
“Are you really okay?” I murmur, nudging her nose with mine.
She swallows. “No, but I will be.”
“I’m sorry shit is such a mess.”
“We’ll fix it.”
I hope so.
Her fingers thread into my wet hair as she draws me to her lips. I’m unable to resist her and my mouth devours hers. She tastes sweet like the Coke she was drinking. I groan as my tongue slides against hers, desperate to own her with just a kiss. She nips at my bottom lip, making my dick jolt in my sweats.
“Roux,” I growl.
Emboldened by my tone, she moves across me, straddling my waist. Her T-shirt gets tossed away, revealing her pert breasts in her black bra. I groan when she undoes the bra and flings it away.
Fuck.
So fucking perfect.
My palms find her tits and I run my thumbs over her peaked nipples. She reaches down to undo the top button of her jeans.
“Roux,” I warn. “I have no self-control with you.”
Her hooded eyes meet mine as she unzips them. “We’re not going to fuck, Jordy. Relax.”
I can’t relax when she shimmies out of her jeans. In just her striped socks and black panties, she’s a fucking vision. And mine. All mine. Her slender thighs straddle me again. Greedily, I roam my palms up her thighs, teasing my thumbs under the seam of her panties.
“Take your shirt off,” she orders, her amber eyes flaring with heat.
Jesus.
I obey Little Hoodlum because she’s so fucking fierce and beautiful. I’m under her wicked spell. I toss away my shirt, groaning when her nails scrape along my pectoral muscles. She grinds against me as she leans forward to kiss me. My hands are all over her, wishing I could touch her everywhere all at once. She slides down my thighs, tugging at the waistband of my sweats. My dick springs free, slapping heavily against my lower stomach.
“Roux,” I rasp out.
“We’re not going to fuck,” she reminds me. “I just…I need this before everything really sucks.”
I know what she needs.
I’d been hoping to fuck it wouldn’t come to this, but it has.
Renaldo forced our hand today.
She rubs her panty-covered cunt along my bare dick, making us both hiss in pleasure. I’ve never felt something so good in my entire life. My hips buck up, desperate to feel every part of her. Her panties are wet, soaked through with her arousal. With every grind of her hips, she smears her wetness over my shaft.
“You’re killing me,” I breathe.
“It’ll feel good to die this way.”
I grip her delicate neck and haul her to me for a devastating kiss. Our mouths fuse desperately together as our bodies try to fuck through that thin layer of fabric. I slide my hands to her ass, pushing under her panties to feel her bare skin there. My fingers dig into her flesh, needing to mark her as mine before everything changes.
The change will happen before I can blink.
I need this to get me through the hard times.
“Jordy,” she breathes. “This feels so good.”
“I know,” I groan. “Don’t stop. Keep rubbing your clit on my dick. I need you to come. I want to taste your moans when you do it.”
Her tongue lashes against mine as she works her hips in a sinful way that maddens me. I want to tear her panties from her body and impale her right now. It’d be so simple and Roux would let me. We both want it.
But not only is that crossing a line I can’t cross right now, it’d also make things ten times more difficult for us. So, rather than giving in, we continue dry fucking.
“Mmm,” she whimpers. “Mmm.”
She’s about to orgasm and the sounds coming from her are so fucking beautiful. I rotate and thrust, teasing her while bringing myself right to the edge with her. Her body shatters above me and she cries out with her climax. Unable to resist feeling her, I reach between us, tugging her panties aside. My dick slides along her pussy lips, never entering her. The slick, smooth feel of her is enough to send me hurtling over the edge of sanity with a growl. Cum jets out of my dick, soaking my stomach. My cock throbs as she slowly rubs her naked pussy against me. The cum around the tip of my cock gets dragged all the way to my balls as she makes a mess of smearing my release all over me with just her pussy.
Fuck.
I’ll never go soft at this rate.
“Careful, Little Hoodlum. My cum wants inside your little body. Keep rubbing your pussy all in it and you’re going to get yourself pregnant. We’ll call you Virgin Roux, but instead of carrying the son of God, you’ll carry the devil’s boy.”
She laughs and it’s a heavenly sound. “Weirdo.”
As she crawls off my body, I drink in her state of disarray. Her dark hair is messy, her lips are swollen and red, and her nearly naked body is a fucking sight to behold. She disappears to the bathroom and returns with a wet cloth. After she strips out of her panties, showing me that perfect cunt of hers, she cleans herself up.
“I’ll clean you up,” she murmurs, coming to stand beside the bed where I’m sprawled out.
In a painfully torturous way, she cleans the cum and her arousal off my dick and then the mess on my stomach too. When she walks away to go to her dresser, I stare at her cute ass. My dick leaps to attention, desperate for more. I yank up my sweats so I don’t do something stupid like fuck her against her dresser. As soon as she has on some panties, yoga pants, and a T-shirt, she crawls into bed to lie down beside me.
For the longest time, I stroke her hair, savoring this moment because I know it’ll end soon. So fucking soon.
Finally, she sits up on her elbow and regards me with determination in her eyes that reminds me of Roan.
“Jordy,” she says. “There’s something I have to do.”
I swallow, hating how much I dread hearing these words. To prolong them for a moment longer, I kiss her deeply, savoring her sweet taste. Eventually, I break from our kiss and let out a heavy, resigned sigh. “What is that, Little Hoodlum?”
“I’m sorry,” she breathes, her bottom lip wobbling, “but I have to get back with Kayden.”
I close my eyes that burn with those words that stumbled out of her mouth. “That so?”
“Yes, but…”
I love you.
She doesn’t have to say the words because I feel them.
“I know, Roux. I know.”
I give her one last peck on the lips and then I untangle myself from her. I can’t look at her as I snatch my shirt up and throw it on. Her sobs are killing me, but I can’t stop them. Not now. Not yet.
�
��Jordy,” she cries out when I reach the door.
I close my eyes again as I clutch the knob. “Yeah?”
“Goodbye.”
“Later, Little Hoodlum.”
I walk out her door and don’t look back.
Roux
March
Time passes in a blur these days. Not fast enough, that’s for sure. I love the days when I can hole up in my room, reading and letting time pass quicker than usual. At least in my room, I’m not forced to be someone I’m not. I can be me.
The door to the apartment closes and I perk up, wondering if it’s Jordy. Being in the same apartment with him is difficult. I crave to crawl back into his arms and beg for him to take me far, far away. With each passing day, I grow weaker and weaker. He’d do it. Jordy would do anything for me, which is exactly why I need to remain strong.
It’s times like this, though, that I wish I had a friend. Charlotte is nothing to me now. I’ve given up trying to be friends with her. She’s so far removed from the girl she once was, even going as far as getting kicked off the cheerleading squad. There’s nothing I can do about it, though. Garrett and Kelsey have been forcing her to go to counseling and forbidden her to see Ryan, but nothing’s changed. Ryan has his claws in her and he’s not letting go.
My phone buzzes and for a brief moment, I worry Wes has gotten a new number. After the day Kayden pulled a gun on him, Wes backed off. He texted me a few times after, begging to see me, but when I blocked him again, he never tried to make contact again. I’m stupid for thinking it, but in times like this, I even miss his friendship.
It’s not Wes, though.
It’s my boyfriend.
Kayden: Want a car for your birthday, baby?
I roll my eyes.
Me: Is it a chopped car?
Kayden: They’re untraceable. No one is coming after my girl. What do you want?
Me: I don’t want a stolen car.
Kayden: Fine. Let’s call it not stolen. Better? Now tell me what you want. I can get you anything, baby.
Me: I can’t drive.
Kayden: I’ll teach you.
Me: Can’t you just drive me everywhere?
Kayden: I will but you’ll need a car for the days I’m busy. I don’t want you to have to rely on your brother. Or him.
Him being Jordy.
Kayden can’t see straight most days from being so jealous of Jordy. It’s stupid too since he got the girl. Jordy has nothing.
Me: Surprise me.
Kayden: Anything for my girl.
Hollis peeks his head into my bedroom. “Hey, sis.”
“Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”
“Just seeing if you wanted to grab a birthday dinner just the two of us. Roan’s on call.”
I glance at the clock. If he’s on call, he’ll probably hang out at the fire station considering they’ve been busier than usual, and he practically lives there these days. I’m disappointed he won’t have dinner with us, but it’s the nature of his job, so I’m familiar with this sort of thing happening. “He’s been working a lot.”
“This arsonist is running the fire department ragged. I want to kill whoever is doing this,” he grumbles.
“Me too.” I slide off the bed and hunt down my shoes. “You okay?”
He frowns. “Not really.”
“Why?”
“I saw Sidney today.”
I wince at hearing her name. She’s done nothing but give my brother trouble since he started pursing a paternity test. A test we were granted at Christmastime finally.
Roan is Sebban’s father.
Since then, Sidney and Gio have made our life a living hell trying to fight Roan on visitation. It sucks so bad seeing the desperation in Roan’s eyes. He just wants to get to know his son. I want to know my nephew. The latest shit they’ve thrown our way is Roan’s relationship with Hollis. They’ve twisted it into something ugly and perverted. As though two gay men fuck all the time and in front of everyone. As if they’d have sex in front of a little kid. I hate them for what they’re putting my brother through.
“How did that go?” I ask, my voice turning icy.
He sighs. “She started bitching me out, but then Sebban disappeared. Just poof. Vanished.”
I remember how he’d run off and hid at the yarn store that day. It was scary.
“Where did he go?”
“Well, we searched the whole damn strip of shops. Cops arrived and everything. With it snowing, it put everyone on high alert. We found him in a hamper filled with soiled linens in the kitchen at that fancy steak place on the corner of Main. He’d fallen asleep, so he didn’t hear us calling for him.”
“Maybe she should focus on not letting her kid run off rather than fighting Roan tooth and nail on custody,” I hiss. “I hate her.”
“She’s just scared,” he mutters.
“Don’t defend her. She was your friend and at one time cared about Roan. This is mean and cruel.”
He sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. I really thought if I could just talk to her, she’d be cool.”
“At least you tried.”
“I’m going to change and then we can head out.”
He leaves and heads to his room. Quickly, I get ready, bundling up against an usually snowy March, and then walk into the living room to wait on him. The door opens, and Jordy walks in, snow dusting his dark hair.
Every time I see him, my heart crushes in on itself.
Every. Single. Time.
His dark eyes bore into me, drinking in every detail of me, before settling on my lips. “Hey, Little Hoodlum.”
“Hey,” I mutter, unable to meet his stare. “We’re going to dinner for my birthday if you want to come with.”
He sets a stack of mail down on the table. “As much as I want to, I can’t.”
“Yeah,” I agree, my voice shaking and unstable.
I’m staring at the carpet when his black, snow-dusted boots come into view. He holds out an envelope addressed to me. I can tell by all the prison stamps it’s from Dad. I start to take it from him, but he doesn’t let go. His other hand tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. Tears burn at my eyes. If I look at him, I’ll cry.
“Got big plans for your birthday besides dinner with the rat?” he rumbles, his thumb stroking down along my jaw.
“Kayden’s having a big party later tonight.”
His knuckles slide under my chin and he lifts up so I have to look at him. “Be safe, please.”
“I always am.”
His eyes roam over my face as if he’s trying to memorize it. “Goddammit, Roux.”
The tears won’t stay in. They slick down my cheeks, dripping off my jaw. I try to hold in the sob, but it claws its way out.
“Shhh,” Jordy murmurs. “Don’t cry.”
He drops a soft kiss on my lips that makes me whine. Once he pulls away, he sets to swiping the tears away with his thumbs. His intense gaze sears into me until Hollis clears his throat.
“You okay?” Hollis asks.
“Yeah,” I croak out. “Just sad Roan couldn’t make it.”
Jordy reluctantly pulls away. To distract myself, I tear through the envelope to find Dad sent me a birthday card with eighteen wrinkly dollars in it. The card is different than his usual Disney one. It’s simple. Navy blue with a white flower on the front. He’s written me more than his usual few words.
Kiddo,
Happy birthday, angel. I can’t believe you’re an adult now. Time flies in here. I wish to fuck I could be there with my baby girl to celebrate. I’m always thinking about you and Roan. Always. Maybe you can talk your brother into coming to see me one day. I’d love to see my kids. I know I fucked up, baby girl, and I’m sorry. If I could go back to that bar, I would’ve let those shit for brains go on and not done what I did. Sometimes my temper gets the best of me and that hurts the people around me. I see that now. Hope Jordy is looking after you. You’re brave as shit. I just want you to know that. You and Roan are both two of the fier
cest kids I know and I’d like to think you got it from me. Thank fuck you got your momma’s looks. Tell those boys to take you out someplace nice or I’ll kick all their asses. Love you to pieces.
I’ll always have your back, Roux. Even when it seems impossible, Daddy is always near. Love you and your brother. Happy birthday, baby.
Dad
I tear up as I tuck the money back in the card and take it to my room. It gets stowed away with all the other cards he’s written me. I save all the money so that if he ever gets out, I’ll take us to dinner with it. I quickly text Roan.
Me: All I want for my birthday is to see Dad. Can we arrange for that to happen? I know you’re busy, but it’d mean a lot to me. Love you and be safe.
When I come back into the living room, Jordy is already in the shower and Hollis is waiting for me by the door.
“Ready, birthday girl?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
I said a small shindig.
Not this.
Not every single person Kayden knows.
I’m used to these parties by now, though. Ever since I made it official that I wanted to get back together, I’ve been to every single party Kayden goes to. Renaldo hosts plenty of them. Now that Jordy is doing his bidding and I’m with Kayden, Renaldo leaves me alone. Pretends I don’t exist. It’s fine by me since he scares the living shit out of me.
“Dance with me, baby,” Kayden purrs, his mouth stinking of vodka as he mauls me with a kiss.
I grimace and turn my head. He takes the opportunity to suck on my neck as he grinds against me. When I’m with Kayden, everything goes numb. I let my heart turn to ice and do what I must to get by.
“Fuck,” Kayden groans, nipping at my ear. “All these bitches are looking like skanks in their short skirts, but you’re fine as fuck in jeans and a sweater. You’ve got me by the balls, baby. Renaldo says I’m pussy whipped.”
I laugh. “Being nice to your girlfriend isn’t the same as being pussy whipped. I don’t boss you around.”
“I just tell him to fuck off. He doesn’t know what it’s like to love someone.”
