‘I was,’ she murmured. ‘What do you Americans say about waiting for the rain another day?’
Tom frowned before a shy smile crept across his face intensifying the attractive creases fanning out around his eyes. ‘You mean you want to take a rain check?’
‘Yes, please. Now’s not a good time.’
‘Sure.’ Tom crammed his hat back on and walked away.
She took several long, slow breaths and remembered her therapist’s instructions when she left. Take baby steps. Remember you took a long time to get sick and you’ll take a long time to find your way back.
‘Thanks again. I mean it,’ Fee called out as he reached the front door and Tom turned with his hand on the latch.
‘No problem.’
Fee dropped down into the nearest chair as the door closed behind him. The silence was deafening. There was no escaping herself now and she was supposed to find that a good thing.
If his foot could reach his ass he’d give himself a hard kick. Mr Saviour. It’d been Gina’s pet name for him. She always said he was on a mission to save the world but it hadn’t done him a damn bit of good when he couldn’t save his own wife. They’d been drinking coffee on their front porch, the first time in weeks that they’d spent any appreciable amount of time together without arguing. Out of nowhere Gary Higgins had appeared and aimed a gun at Gina. She hadn’t stood a chance and the image of his beautiful wife crying out his name with her dying breath still haunted him. Tom had been instrumental in getting Higgins sent to prison and within days of his release the man tracked them down to get his revenge in the worst possible way. As soon as he heard Fee’s distress today he’d rushed in like Superman.
Tom strode off back towards his own cabin, kicking gravel and cursing under his breath all the way there. He pushed the cabin door open and headed straight for the office, checking out the clock on the wall to discover it was almost lunchtime. Tuesday was chicken and dumplings day at the Mockingbird Cafe and Aunt Ina’s good home cooking would do more than comfort his growling stomach. She’d fuss over him and right now he could do with a touch of family love.
He ran outside and hopped into his truck, firing it up and gunning the engine as he shoved it into gear and roared off down the gravel road. By the time he took the third hairpin curve at speed his temper abated and he eased back on the gas. If he arrived in town mad his mother would hear about it and he’d get one of her famous lectures. Over the last seventeen years he’d suffered more than his fair share of those.
Tom pulled into a parking space outside the cafe and got out. He couldn’t help grinning as he ran his gaze over the outside of the building. Mary-Jo must have been busy because Halloween decorations completely covered the bright yellow paint. His fun-loving cousin was studying graphic design at UT Knoxville and enjoyed practising her skills on her long-suffering mother’s business. If there was an inch of the small building not covered with fake spider webs, gory skeletons and ghosts it escaped Tom’s attention. He headed towards the door and lowered his head to avoid becoming tangled up in the decor.
‘Uncle T, Uncle T!’
A red-haired bombshell raced across the room and threw herself at his knees. Tom scooped up his adorable toddler cousin and turned her upside down. He held onto her plump little legs while he swung her around, setting off a crescendo of happy high-pitched screams and giggles.
‘Thomas Michael Chambers, put that child down right now or she’ll lose her lunch all over you and it’ll serve you right.’ Aunt Ina threw him a fierce glare as she ran out from the kitchen to rescue her youngest granddaughter. ‘As if I don’t have enough goin’ on without you turnin’ up.’ Her laughing eyes belied her stern words. ‘I might’ve guessed you’d drag your sorry self in today to be fed.’
‘You know I never miss your chicken and dumplings if I can help it.’
‘We might be sold out,’ she protested.
‘C’mon we both know you always set a plate aside for your favourite nephew. Admit it, you wonderful woman.’ He squeezed her in a quick hug.
Ina snorted and tried to hold on to a wriggling Lulu with one hand. ‘You think you’re a charmer like your father.’
‘And you can’t resist it,’ he teased. Tom let go of his aunt and snatched Lulu back. He swung her up into his arms and the little girl wrapped her little hands around his neck. She gave her grandmother a triumphant smile.
‘Fine, have her. She can pester you instead of gettin’ under my feet. Mary-Jo won’t be back until four so we’ve a long day to get through yet.’
Tom’s smile tightened as he thought about Lulu’s absent father. Luke Durham, the tough football quarterback hadn’t been so sure of himself when faced with the prospect of fatherhood in his senior year of high school. Durham Senior, his slimy attorney father, shoved a bunch of money at Mary-Jo and dragged his son off to play for a big college out west. Every time Tom saw the jerk playing on national TV it made him want to puke.
‘Mary-Jo’s doin’ fine, don’t fret over her. You know we wouldn’t be without this little sweetheart,’ Ina murmured, ruffling Lulu’s soft curls.
‘Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.’
‘Life’s not always easy. You know that better than most.’ Her eyes softened. Tom hated sympathy more than anything and bit back a smart reply.
‘Uncle T. Me want ice cream,’ Lulu yelled in his ear.
‘Tell you what, pumpkin, if you help me eat some of Mommy Ina’s chicken and dumplin’s we’ll get us a dab of ice cream after.’
‘Good luck.’ Ina laughed. ‘The little madam only ate two bites of the hot dog I fixed her before you came.’
‘Fetch us a bowl and two spoons and we’ll do fine,’ Tom declared and swung his lunch partner back down on her feet. ‘Come on, sweetie, where we gonna sit?’
Lulu studied the room before pointing at a table over by the window and dragged on his hand, tugging him along behind her. Five minutes later with Lulu on his lap and digging into a bowl of hot, savoury chicken and dumplings Tom’s world settled back down.
‘Has she been a good girl?’ Ina came to see how they were doing.
‘Of course.’ Tom kissed the top of Lulu’s head. She beamed up at him and her innocent smile sucked the breath from his body. He’d expected to have a brood of kids of his own by now but things hadn’t worked out that way. ‘How about I take her up to mine for a couple of hours?’
‘Haven’t you got work to do?’
‘No more than you have. I wouldn’t get much more done today anyway.’ He didn’t explain and she didn’t ask.
‘It’s fine by me if she’ll go with you. If you’re lucky she might take a nap.’ Ina frowned. ‘Remember to ask if she needs to go potty. We’re doin’ well but she forgets sometimes.’
‘No problem. Remember I pretty much raised the twins.’ He’d spent half his teenage years with his younger sisters Rayna and Chloe attached to him like limpets so one three-year-old wasn’t a big deal. Tom tweaked Lulu’s ponytail. ‘Hey, pumpkin, you want to come and feed my ducks?’
‘Yep, but you promised we’d eat ice cream.’ She pouted.
He bent down to whisper in the little girl’s ear and caught his aunt’s eye over Lulu’s head. ‘Don’t tell Mommy Ina but I’ve got three flavours in my freezer.’ Her big, brown eyes widened and she planted a sticky kiss on his nose.
‘You’re stuck with her now,’ Aunt Ina declared with a throaty laugh.
That was fine with him. One woman could help take his mind off another.
Chapter Three
Fee finished writing her journal entry and closed the book before hiding it away in the dresser drawer. Initially it’d been part of her therapy but now she found she missed it if she got too busy to write. She ought to eat lunch but instead Fee slipped on her shoes and grabbed a small red apple from the dish before stepping out onto the front porch. Maybe later she’d sit in one of the rocking chairs on her tiny front porch and start one of the books she’d brought with her.
Until you get antsy. This relaxed mode of life was so alien. Surely a Martian would experience the same misgivings if dropped on planet earth and told to fit in. Without the camera she’d been ordered not to bring with her, and which she hadn’t been without in over twenty years, Fee felt she was learning to live without one of her limbs.
It’s time to face life with no lens in the way.
The doctors didn’t understand. Few people did. Apart from her free-spirited mother she didn’t have much in the way of family, and friends tended to drop off the radar because she was rarely around. Relationships with men were hopeless because no one wanted a woman who would cancel a date and disappear for four months on an assignment without bothering to send an apologetic email.
Fee dragged herself down the couple of steps, determined to take one of the walks she’d been assured would do her good and headed for the two-mile trail around Black Cherry Lake. For a woman who’d trekked for days on end in harsh terrain this should be nothing more than a gentle stroll but with her low-energy light on full blast she wasn’t sure she’d make it all the way.
Small steps, Fee. Small steps.
Turning her face into the mild autumn sun she set off slowly at first and gradually increased the length of her strides as the blood pumped through her body. Fee ignored the twinge in her knee and hoped it’d work itself out if she didn’t push too hard. She passed the other cabins quickly in the hope she wouldn’t be spotted and forced into conversation by any of the other guests.
After a few minutes she relaxed and began to enjoy herself. A family of ducks swam close to the shoreline making her wish she had something to feed them. Fee shaded her eyes from the sun and followed the progress of a large bird flying low across the lake until it disappeared into the shade of the trees. She wondered if it was some sort of eagle but couldn’t be sure. Tom probably knew every inch of his land and what lived on and around it. He’d happily tell her if she asked which she wouldn’t. Fee’s senses sharpened, honed by years of developing an acute awareness of her surroundings for her own safety. She glanced over her shoulder to see a small, brown and white spotted deer watching her from a few metres away. The urge to take its picture and capture the intriguing mix of vulnerability and composure swept through Fee and she cursed her doctor. How would he care to have his medical license snatched away? Hardly daring to breathe she held the deer’s wide-eyed gaze until it blinked and leapt back into the shelter of the trees.
Shoving her hands in her pockets she walked on again and found herself back where she’d started sooner than expected. Fee studied the cabins, spaced a decent distance apart when they were built so the owners would have had neighbours for protection but not close enough to lose their privacy. People’s longings for a home and community were the same all over around the world and in a small way she always hoped her pictures would increase that understanding. She was smart enough to get the irony of a photographer with no settled home celebrating such things. Whenever her therapist probed too deeply into her background she avoided his questions, but he would bide his time and come back to the subject when she least expected.
Fee strode in front of Tom’s cabin and stopped dead at the sound of childish laughter ringing out from his front porch. Tom rocked in one of the chairs with a tiny red-headed girl perched on his knee.
‘Faster, horsey, faster.’ The child giggled and shouted, banging on his legs. Fee couldn’t drag her eyes away as Tom whinnied and made loud horse noises. Why had she been so sure he was a loner like herself? Usually she did a good job of recognising fellow outcasts but her radar must have failed her this time. The afternoon sun picked up burnished highlights in Tom’s hair she hadn’t noticed earlier making it obvious where the girl’s bright curls came from.
‘Miss Winter, are you enjoying the lovely day?’
She started and met his knowing smile, aware she’d been caught staring. ‘Yes, I’ve walked all around the lake. It’s very beautiful.’
The girl tugged at Tom’s arm. ‘Hurry up we’ve got to win the race.’
‘This horsey’s tired, sweetheart. He sure could do with some ice cream.’
‘Ice cream. Ice cream.’ She bounced harder and Tom eased the child off and stood up, his movements graceful and economic for such a big man. ‘Lulu, this is Miss Winter. Say good afternoon, ma’am.’
The girl parroted him and Fee blinked back tears. Children weren’t her thing so why did this particular scrap of a girl get to her? She tried to rationalise it by telling herself it’d happened before in other times and places. It was part of being human, nothing more.
‘Does she like ice cream?’
Tom’s eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘I don’t know. You wanna ask her, pumpkin?’
Lulu raced down the steps. ‘Do you want to eat ice cream with us? We’ve got three kinds.’
Fee caught a hint of challenge in Tom’s expression. He thought she’d find an excuse and run off but the man didn’t know her at all. She’d never backed down from anything even if it was life-threatening. Ice cream was something she could do.
‘Do you have any strawberry?’ she asked and Lulu glanced back up at Tom.
‘Yeah,’ he declared, ‘plus vanilla for unadventurous people or to put on pie, and of course chocolate marshmallow—’
‘For big boys who never grew up?’ Fee teased.
‘I’ve been known to share if I’m asked nicely,’ he protested, hooking his thumbs in his pockets and staring her down.
‘No problem. I’m a strawberry girl myself.’ One of her few good childhood memories was of eating strawberry ice cream with her mother every time they were in Cornwall. They’d go there sometimes to stay with Will Sawyer, the most consistent of her mother’s numerous boyfriends. He was the only one to show her any kindness instead of merely tolerating her presence and his rambling old house, only a stone’s throw from the sea, became the closest thing she ever knew to a settled home.
‘Thought so. Come and sit here with us. I’ll go fix the ice cream.’
Tom hurried indoors letting the screen door close behind him and stood still for a moment to gather his senses. He couldn’t rationalise why Fee Winter rattled him. She was no raving beauty and the imaginary barbed wire fence circling her should be enough to warn him off, so why did she still intrigue him?
You gotta let go of Gina one day, bro. He’d fought with his oldest brother last Thanksgiving until his father dragged him off. They’d both had a few too many beers when Sandy told him what he thought of Tom’s self-imposed punishment. He didn’t understand a lifetime would never be long enough to assuage the guilt that gnawed at him day and night. The fact that Gina died because of him was brutal enough but almost worse was the painful knowledge that their marriage had been pulling apart at the seams with no apparent hope of repair. His biggest regret came from not having been the husband Gina needed and deserved.
He opened the freezer and tossed the tubs of ice cream on the table. Eating ice cream with his young cousin and a guest meant nothing. Yeah, right. Tom took out bowls and spoons then started to dish up, gathering everything on a tray to head back outside.
‘Here we go, ladies.’ Tom set the bowls down on the white oak table carved in the shape of Tennessee that he’d made over the winter. Opening one of its drawers he pulled out a stack of paper napkins and set them out for everyone to use. Tom fetched a small child-sized stool and set it down near his chair. ‘Here’s a special spot for you, Lulu.’ He put her strawberry ice cream in front of her and touched her hand to get her attention. ‘Try not to get it on your pretty dress or Mommy Ina will scalp us both.’
‘Yes, Uncle T.’
Lulu nodded so seriously he had a hard job stopping himself from laughing. Tom pushed a bowl towards Fee and caught her looking at him with unabashed curiosity.
‘Uncle T?’
In an instant Tom realised what Fee meant by her question. She’d assumed Lulu was his daughter. ‘I should’ve introduced my special lady. This is Miss Lulu Chamber
s, my beautiful cousin. Her Mama is in school today so we get to play, don’t we, pumpkin?’
‘Yep.’ Lulu grinned at Fee. ‘Uncle T’s my favourite uncle. He’s got ducks, books and ice cream.’
Fee’s face softened and Tom got a hint of how she’d look when a man was loving her. ‘That’s all a girl needs. You’re very lucky.’
He sensed a deeper meaning behind her words but this wasn’t the time or place, and if he was sensible it never would be.
Instantly she glanced away and scooped up a spoonful of ice cream. ‘This is delicious.’
‘It’s homemade by my cousin, Suzy-Beth. She’s got a store called Sweet Scoops in Pine Ridge.’
‘Goodness, does your family run the whole town?’
Tom shrugged. ‘There are a lot of us because we’ve been here for generations. Aunt Ina, my Dad’s sister, owns the Mockingbird Cafe. Ina’s oldest daughter Suzy-Beth is married to John who is a local doctor. My Pop is the sheriff and my younger sister, Rayna, teaches at the elementary school. Rayna’s married to Billy and they’re expecting their first kid soon. Chloe, Rayna’s twin, lives here too. She’s married to Ken and is a stay-at-home mom to her four little ones. My older brothers are both police officers; Sandy in Oak Ridge and Mikey in Clinton, but they still live here with their families.’ He stopped running his mouth and noticed Fee’s bright eyes dancing with amusement. ‘There are more cousins and everything but your ice cream’s melting,’ he muttered. A trickle of pink dripped down Fee’s chin and Tom itched to reach over and brush it away. He noticed Lulu wriggling. ‘Do you need to go potty, Lulu-Belle?’ Her eyes, the regular Chambers family deep brown specials, filled with tears and she pulled at the front of her pink flowery dress.
Tom jumped up and quickly swept her into his arms. ‘It’s okay, we’ll go and get cleaned up.’
‘But my ice cream …’
Christmas at Black Cherry Retreat Page 2
