Tom managed a weak smile. ‘You’d better not.’ He wiped at his face and dragged a handkerchief from his pocket to blow his nose. ‘I wanted … I don’t know what I wanted but it wasn’t this.’
‘Yeah. I know,’ Hank agreed before hesitating.
‘Go on, spit it out. You don’t normally have a problem with saying what you think.’ His wry comment pulled a smile out of his father.
‘I’m not sorry about Higgins. This ends it.’
Tom started to protest but Hank raised his hand in the air to silence him. The commanding gesture worked when they all were children and it did the trick again now. He shut up.
‘I know you’ll never forget but now you don’t have to go through life looking over your shoulder, wondering where Higgins is and eaten up because he’s not behind bars. Gina’s at peace. Take your freedom and make the most of it.’ His father’s voice cracked and it took the last remnants of Tom’s self-control to hold himself together.
‘I will. Fee’s at Mee Maw’s house having coffee and I’m off to join them.’
‘They’ll sort you out,’ Hank ventured. ‘When are you leaving town?’
They chatted about his plans which had expanded from simply going to visit Fee’s mother to travelling some around Europe while they were that side of the pond. His father’s only request was that he return home in time for Christmas.
‘No problem. I’ve got to get Lulu’s dolls’ house finished and I’m not gonna miss her seeing it for the first time,’ Tom replied.
‘Good. Now get on with you. Some of us have work to do. Your mama’s planning to have a big family get-together before you take off for foreign parts. She’ll tell you when.’
There was no question of being asked and Tom wasn’t stupid enough to argue. He got to his feet and stuck out his hand to his father but Hank pulled him into an unexpected hug. The last time that happened was at Gina’s funeral and the significance wasn’t lost on him. He hugged his father back and without another word they let go of each other.
Tom walked out of the office and stopped for a moment out on the street. He took a few steadying breaths of the crisp, clear air. He needed Fee. Now.
Fee glanced up as Tom stepped out onto the patio and panicked. ‘What’s wrong?’ His eyes were suspiciously pink and if she didn’t know better she’d guess he’d been crying.
His grandmother glanced between the two of them.
‘Sit down, Tom. I’ll fetch you some coffee and cake.’ Betty Mae’s gentle request got him to move and he dropped down into the chair next to Fee.
‘You’re frightening me this time. Did your father give you some bad news?’ Fee asked, grabbing hold of his hands.
The hint of a smile tugged at his mouth. ‘I thought it was at first but he helped me see it wasn’t.’
Fee searched unsuccessfully for the right words to tell him he was making no sense but he leaned in to kiss her before she could speak again. Tom launched into a long, convoluted story about Gina’s killer who’d apparently died in a traffic accident. Her first instinct was right and when he admitted to crying Fee choked up. Strong men rarely cracked but when they did it broke the hearts of those around them.
‘Hey, I’m supposed to be the one who’s upset not you,’ Tom teased, playing with a strand of her hair. His eyes pleaded with Fee to pull herself together for his sake so she sucked in a deep breath and forced out a bright smile. ‘Much better,’ he declared and kissed her again.
‘That’s enough messin’ around in the middle of the morning, Thomas Michael Chambers. Eat this instead of that dear girl.’ Betty Mae deposited a plate loaded with cake and strawberries in front of Tom along with a mug of coffee. ‘After you finish that you can tell me what’s goin’ on.’
‘Angel food cake. You’re a wonder.’ He dug his fork in and speared a large piece. ‘Fee, why don’t you go ahead and tell Mee Maw everything? That way she won’t have to wait until I’m done eatin’ to satisfy her curiosity.’
‘Are you implying I’m a gossip?’ The older woman bristled and Fee hoped he’d turn his charm on before his grandmother smacked him.
‘Not likely. I value my life,’ Tom declared.
Before they could go back and forth all day Fee interrupted and started to do as Tom had asked. Betty Mae made exclamations and pithy comments all the way through the story.
‘It’s not Christian to say this but some people don’t deserve to take up space on this earth and that man’s one of them. Of course I’ll add him to my prayers tonight. The wicked man’s gonna need it.’ Betty Mae calmly sipped a fresh cup of coffee while she made the blunt summing up.
‘Thanks, Mee Maw,’ Tom whispered and kissed his grandmother on the cheek. When he turned back towards Fee there was a new sadness touching his eyes. ‘There’s somewhere I need to go.’ He hesitated for a second. ‘I need to tell Gina and I wondered if you’d come with me. The cemetery is about a five minute drive but I need to go to the flower shop first.’
Fee struggled against the urge to run away. Those days were part of her past. Loving wasn’t always going to be easy. ‘Of course.’
He gulped down his coffee and pushed away the empty plate. ‘Mee Maw. Do you mind if we go now?’
‘What a damn fool question. ’
‘Before we go let me take your picture together,’ Fee suggested. ‘It’s so pretty out here.’ She picked up her camera and encouraged Tom to move his chair closer to his grandmother before quickly framing the shot. ‘Perfect.’
Betty Mae set the dishes back on the tray. Fee smiled to herself when his grandmother made no objection to Tom taking it right out of her hands.
This time out by the front door Fee initiated the hug. ‘So?’
The old woman’s eyes danced with amusement. ‘You’ll do fine. Tom’s not a rash, flitting around sort of boy. You’d better appreciate him and if I ever hear you’ve messed him around you’ll have me to deal with.’ Betty Mae mitigated her sharp retort with a mischievous smile. ‘Even if I’ve passed on I promise I’ll come back and haunt you.’
‘I don’t doubt it for a moment.’ Fee laughed.
Tom opened his mouth to protest but they both stared him down until he gave up the idea and stood there, waiting until she joined him. They walked down the path hand in hand, waving back at his grandmother as they went.
‘You sure you’re okay with doing this?’ As soon as the words left his mouth Tom regretted them. ‘Sorry,’ he murmured. ‘I don’t mean to be stupid.’
‘I know. It simply comes naturally to some people.’ Her face softened. ‘You’ve had a tough day so I’ll let you off this time.’
‘Thanks. I don’t deserve you.’
‘Something we both agree on at last. Now let’s get to the flower shop.’
He chose the usual bronze chrysanthemums tied with a gold satin ribbon. Out at the cemetery Tom left his cleaning supplies in the truck and walked with Fee along the rough gravel path, the pale November sun warming their backs.
‘This is a lovely spot.’
‘Yeah. Her parents chose it.’
‘Are you close to them?’
‘Not any longer.’ He shook his head. ‘They blame me. Gina was their only child.’
‘That’s tough. Are those her favourites?’ Fee pointed to the flowers and he nodded. Tom hunkered down on the grass and gathered up the flowers he’d put there on the anniversary of her death before replacing them with the fresh ones.
Quietly he told Gina what had happened to Gary Higgins and how he hoped she could be at peace because he was, finally. Without looking at Fee he described her to Gina, catching Fee’s quick intake of breath when he struggled to explain how much he loved her. ‘I hope you don’t mind?’ he asked, smiling as a warm breeze touched his face. ‘I’m goin’ away for a while but I’ll be back.’ Tom rubbed his fingers over Gina’s name etched into the cold marble and sighed.
‘Are you good now?’ Fee asked. He stood and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her fresh
, silky hair.
‘Yep.’
‘Is it time to go home?’
Hearing her call Black Cherry home warmed his heart. ‘Sure is.’
‘I might even make you one of my famous sandwiches if you’re lucky,’ Fee teased.
‘I can’t get any luckier.’
Chapter Thirty-Four
‘Oh, Tom, it’s beautiful.’ Fee ran her fingers over the tiny doorframe. The dolls’ house was a beautifully crafted piece of carving and she couldn’t help thinking that no one had ever done anything as wonderful for her when she was a child. She swallowed hard, desperate not to give in to more tears. Between them they’d shed more than enough of those today. Fee had completely broken down telling Betty Mae about her mother after the older lady encouraged her to talk. Tom’s grandmother was better than any therapist on the face of the planet and all she’d really done was listen. ‘Lulu’s a lucky girl.’
‘No. I’m the lucky one.’ Tom’s gruff voice gave him away and Fee didn’t dare turn around. Children were one topic they’d avoided until now. His broad hands circled her shoulders and she couldn’t resist any longer, meeting his gaze straight on. ‘It’s okay.’
Fee’s head dropped onto his chest and she rested against his steady heartbeat. ‘For lots of reasons I don’t think I can …’ her breath trailed away.
He shifted his right hand to the centre of her back and worked his fingers in gentle rhythmic circles. ‘I love you, Fee. You. Not any random woman who can give me a child but you.’ Tom lowered his mouth to hers and trailed his tongue around her lips until she sighed and gave in to his exploration for several wonderful moments. ‘No one comes without baggage especially at our age and I’ve got enough to fill the cargo hold of a Jumbo Jet. Remember I’ve got enough nieces and nephews, plus more on the way, to satisfy my desire for children.’
‘I’m not exactly young and my health isn’t the best.’ Were those feeble excuses?
‘There’s always adoption.’ Tom fixed his dark eyes on her and Fee shivered.
Taking a step backwards she let her arms fall to her side. ‘Tom. I …’
‘Don’t say it.’ He shook his head. ‘Not today. After we’ve seen your mother we’ll talk again.’
Would she be taking the easy way out by going along with him or was it only common sense?
Tom grasped her face in his broad, warm hands. ‘Don’t you dare tell me you’re giving up. I expect better of you. Fight for us. I am.’ This time his kiss wasn’t gentle and his hard, uncompromising body pressed against hers. The shard of desire he ignited took her breath away. ‘I’m gonna send Billy on home to Rayna and take you to my bed.’ He couldn’t have made his intentions any clearer if he’d shouted them from the mountaintop.
‘Oh. Yes, please.’ Her polite comment drew out the hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth.
Without another word he led her back outside.
Tom wanted to beat himself around the head. He’d almost lost Fee twice now. Once at the hands of Randy Watling and again a few minutes ago because he’d stupidly spoken too soon. He’d almost been dumb enough to tell Fee what a wonderful mother she’d make but that was the last thing she’d want to hear. From day one he’d known Fee didn’t share his dream of a large family and it hadn’t mattered. Convincing her she was more important to him than any mythical children would be an uphill task. You’re still hoping she’ll change her mind. Admit it. A corner of his heart still clung onto the vision but he swore to himself never to raise the subject again. He could live without having children but didn’t intend on living without Fee.
‘I think the phones and internet were connected today so Billy will be a happy man.’
‘Will it change things?’ Fee asked.
‘I’m not sure.’ He shrugged. ‘It’ll make running the business easier but take away part of the timeless quality I enjoyed being able to offer guests. Everything’s a compromise isn’t it?’ Her shrewd eyes narrowed and Tom yearned to assure her he hadn’t meant the words personally.
‘I’m sure your ancestors debated the virtues of candles versus oil lamps and whether to buy a length of factory-made fabric instead of spinning their own,’ Fee observed. ‘How about I leave you to speak to Billy and come back later? I need to throw some clothes in the wonderful, new-fangled washing machine.’
‘You’re telling me not to be a stick-in-the-mud aren’t you?’ Tom seized her in a massive bear hug.
‘Never.’ Fee wriggled in his arms but he tightened his grasp.
‘Good. If you aren’t careful there’ll be no fun later.’
She laughed in his face. ‘Oh, yes. And who’s that going to hurt most?’ Fee glanced at him from under her long dark lashes, fluttering them against her pale, perfect skin.
‘Go and do your laundry. Come back at six.’
‘Say please,’ Fee whispered, rubbing her finger back and forth over his unshaven jawline.
‘Go,’ Tom rasped and a streak of triumph flitted across her face. It seemed she was learning to enjoy the power she wielded over him. Tom decided to keep to himself how much he loved it too.
‘Later.’ With a quick wave she raced off, her heels barely touching the ground as she hurried along the path.
For a few moments he stood outside the office until he could wipe the satisfied smile from his face. He didn’t need his brother-in-law teasing him for being a lovesick sap.
‘Finally. I thought you’d forgotten about me,’ Billy declared, swinging the chair around to face him. ‘I wanted to give you a run-down on the new systems before I beat it.’
Tom glanced at the clock. ‘What’s the hurry? It’s only just gone four.’
‘Yeah. I know but Rayna’s in a touchy mood. Tired of being pregnant I guess.’ He sighed. ‘Did you go into the cafe this morning?’
‘Nope.’ He wasn’t about to go into how he had spent his morning. No doubt the Pine Ridge gossip brigade would spread the news fast enough.
‘Luke Durham injured his shoulder in their last game and is out for the season so he’s back in town for the holidays. Aunt Ina caught him sniffing around Mary-Jo and got the mother-lion claws out. Mary-Jo’s ordering her to butt out of her business. Says she’ll be twenty-one in a couple of weeks and she’ll talk to who she wants.’ Billy rolled his eyes. ‘Never a moment’s peace with this family. Y’all are better than any soap opera.’
Tom suppressed a smile. Billy was an only child and grew up with his older parents in a quiet Knoxville suburb. Before she agreed to marry him Rayna insisted on moving back to Pine Ridge and Tom had witnessed multiple noisy arguments between the two over the lack of privacy Billy experienced living in the small community. ‘Glad we keep you amused.’
‘Sure do.’
‘What’s Pop saying about Durham?’ Tom knew his father thought the boy was a jerk.
‘He’s a wise man and leaving it to the women.’ Billy tossed him a sharp look. ‘You’d be smart to do the same.’
Tom’s dislike of Luke Durham was well known. The way the Durham family “dealt” with Lulu’s birth had made him sick to the stomach although the boy himself was essentially harmless. ‘Yeah. Yeah. I’m not goin’ to challenge him to a fist fight. Apart from anything else Fee would kill me.’
Billy grinned. ‘You tamed as well?’ Tom didn’t need to reply because they both knew the truth. His brother-in-law shrugged and started to tell him all about the new internet and phone connections. ‘The only phones are here in the office, your bedroom and one in the communal room. Cell phone coverage is a bit patchy so don’t promise guests it’ll work everywhere. The internet’s pretty decent in here and in the closest cabins but loses strength the further it gets from the router. You might consider putting a computer in the communal room.’
‘Sounds good.’ Tom took off his denim jacket and hung it up. ‘Off you go and rub Rayna’s feet and feed her ice cream or whatever she’s fancying.’
‘Brussels sprouts.’ Billy screwed up his face. ‘If I never see another
sprout it’ll be too soon. They’ve got to be boiled to death as well.’ He hauled himself out of the chair and found his computer bag. ‘Our house smells like a rancid swamp.’
Tom slapped his brother-in-law on the back. ‘It’ll all be worth it when Billy Junior arrives. Now go.’
They said goodnight and once the door closed Tom sank down into the chair. He leaned on the desk and stared at the computer. Suddenly the door swung open and he glanced up. ‘Hi Pop, what’s up? You should’ve called on our fancy new phone line.’
‘I’ve got some news I couldn’t tell you over the phone, son.’
An icy hand clutched Tom’s heart as he took note of his father’s haggard face. He wanted to order him not to say another word.
Chapter Thirty-Five
‘My washing is doing its thing and I saw Billy’s car was gone so I …’ Fee’s voice trailed away as she glanced at the two men. ‘What on earth’s wrong?’
‘It’s my mama.’ Hank’s anguished voice made the bottom drop out of Fee’s stomach. ‘Her heart …’ He couldn’t carry on.
‘Pop stopped by when he was out on patrol and found her on the patio. He thought at first she’d fallen asleep in the chair but …’ Tom wiped at his eyes. ‘We all knew she had a bad heart but no one thought it’d come this quick.’
‘Was our visit too much for her?’
Tom snatched hold of her hands. ‘Mee Maw saw us happy together.’ He swallowed hard. ‘I’m damn glad we went and she’d say the same.’
‘I’d better go, son.’ Hank interrupted. ‘Got a ton to arrange. I’m guessin’ we’ll go with Thursday evening for visitation and Friday afternoon for the funeral.’
‘As soon as that?’ Fee couldn’t hide her surprise.
‘Yeah. That’s the norm here. We do the visitation piece for people who can’t get to the service and those who want a chance to talk with the family. It’ll last a couple of hours and we’ll do that in the church hall. How long do y’all wait for your funerals?’ Tom asked.
‘At least a week and a fortnight isn’t unusual.’
Christmas at Black Cherry Retreat Page 19
