It would be interesting to discover what her relationship with Tom looked like outside of Pine Ridge. They’d avoided any deep discussions about where they saw their future leading but at some point it couldn’t be stepped around any more. She loved Black Cherry and Tom’s wonderful family but still harboured doubts about her ability to settle. Fee suspected he had concerns too, but neither of them wanted to speak them out loud and spoil the magic.
What if they were making a huge mistake and this was nothing more than a high-octane holiday romance with a touch of therapy thrown in for good measure? Maybe she’d arrived on the scene as Tom was becoming receptive to the idea of moving on from his tragic marriage. The whole thing could be nothing more than coincidence – the stars aligning and all that nonsense.
Her phone buzzed and she answered without checking to see who was calling.
‘I got your email and I can’t believe you’re coming,’ Maddy babbled. ‘I can’t wait to see you and the mysterious Tom of course.’
Fee was taken aback by her mother’s enthusiasm and tried to inject a note of caution. ‘If you don’t have room for us to stay we’ll book into a hotel. It’s not a big deal.’
‘Don’t talk nonsense. Will’s house has plenty of space.’
‘Will?’
‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten him? I know it’s been a long time, but …’
‘Will Sawyer? Are you in Cornwall? I assumed you were at the last address I had for you in London.’
‘We’ll talk when you get here. Let me know which train you’ll be catching and we’ll come and meet you.’
Reuniting on a station platform sounded a terrible idea but Fee needed to be careful how she phrased her refusal. ‘I’m not sure when we’ll come to Cornwall. Tom might like to spend a day or two in London first. How about I give you a ring? We can always get a bus or taxi from the station if we need to.’
‘Do you remember Will’s address?’
‘Yes, unless it’s changed. I assume you mean the house in St. Ives where we used to stay? I’m surprised you’re back there.’
‘Why?’
Because you always mocked Cornwall and said it was the dullest place on the planet. ‘I didn’t think you cared for it much.’
‘People change.’
If Fee didn’t get off the phone she might change her mind about going at all. She said a quick goodbye and hung up with her heart thumping.
Chapter Forty
Fee should’ve guessed Tom would be one of “those” – the people for whom travel was akin to planning for World War III. For her it was second nature to go with the flow and expect the unexpected but Tom fretted from the moment they left Black Cherry, early enough to account for a multi-car pile-up, a major earthquake and unspecified medical emergencies along the way. By the time they made their connection in Charlotte she was surprised his hair hadn’t turned white. Any nerves she had about their upcoming meeting with her mother were buried under the desire to simply get Tom there in one piece.
‘I’m driving you crazy, aren’t I?’ He squeezed her hand as they took their seats on the London flight. ‘Sorry. I’m okay with short flights but I don’t do well with the long distance stuff.’
‘No, you don’t.’ She didn’t sugar-coat it. He’d have to get over this if they were going to make a go of things together. The fact she wanted to explore other work options didn’t mean her desire to see and experience other cultures had lessened. She hoped she’d still be travelling when she was ninety with camera in hand.
‘I guess I should’ve warned you.’
‘That would’ve been nice,’ she admitted. ‘They do say couples learn more about each other on holiday than anywhere else.’ Fee broke into a wry smile. ‘I’m not sure it’s encouraging in our case.’
‘Once we get there I want you to take over.’ Tom’s grim determination made her smile. ‘I won’t say a word. You tell me what to do and I’ll do it.’ He sounded like a man telling the dentist to go ahead and pull all his teeth without any anaesthetic while promising not to scream.
She kissed his cheek, smelling his familiar pine soap. ‘I totally understand flying these days can be a hassle but a positive frame of mind works wonders. Ninety-nine point nine per cent of the other passengers are decent people not terrorists.’ She’d watched him sizing up everyone around them with his suspicious cop’s mind. ‘Caution is one thing. Fear, something entirely different.’
‘In other words stop being a coward.’ His thick eyebrows drew together and Fee sucked in a few deep breaths.
‘Yes.’
Tom’s slow, sexy grin exploded and a curl of lust tightened her gut. ‘Fair enough.’
‘It’s that simple?’
‘Probably not, but I’ll work at it.’ He stuck out his hand. ‘Deal?’ The second she placed her hand in his Tom drew her to him and leaned close to whisper in her ear. ‘In return you can learn how to make my favourite German chocolate cake.’
The feminist side of her strove to be outraged but Fee remembered the crucial word compromise and bit back the cutting reply she’d had all ready. Would it really kill her? No. Plus it’d make him happy.
‘Deal.’ She held up a warning finger. ‘I’ve never baked a cake in my life.’
‘Mama will be happy to teach you.’
I’m sure she will. Fee sensed his grandmother hovering over them and laughing. If this carried on she’d be crocheting tea cosies and sewing her own wedding dress next.
Tom popped a kiss on her forehead. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve no desire to turn you into a Stepford Wife.’
She shuddered. ‘My God, I hope not. You’ve got the wrong woman if that’s what you’re in the market for.’
‘I’ve got exactly the right one,’ he declared with a satisfied smile.
Tom called on his reserves of patience. She needed him to handle the journey a lot better than he’d managed so far. He wasn’t stupid enough to believe Fee wanted to hole up in Pine Ridge for the rest of her life. If he wanted a future with her, and he did more than anything, he’d have to learn to enjoy this side of her, not simply tolerate it.
‘I recommend you snuggle right in here,’ he wrapped his arm around Fee’s slim shoulders and pulled her closer, ‘and we’ll try to take a nap.’ He didn’t complain about the lack of space or the cold blast of stale air blowing down on the top of his head.
‘Good idea, my hero.’ She burrowed into his chest and in a matter of minutes amazed him by going straight to sleep. Tom took several long slow breaths and concentrated on her alluring scent and the warmth of her body seeping into him. He’d try to take a short nap if it killed him.
Bright lights bothered his eyes and Tom rubbed at them, struggling to focus. The cabin lights were on full blast, flight attendants were bringing breakfast around the cabin and the pilot suddenly made an announcement about starting their descent into London soon.
‘Goodness, Tom, I’ve never seen anyone sleep so heavily on a plane without the benefit of alcohol or pills.’ Fee’s teasing voice trickled into his awareness and he turned to see her smiling at him.
‘You slept too,’ he protested. ‘You went out like a light.’
‘For a while but I’ve had dinner, watched a good film and made friends with the lady across the aisle while you were off in Neverland.’ She poked him gently in the ribs.
‘At least one of us will be well-rested for the day to come.’ When Fee was drooping with tiredness later she’d be glad he was alert and able to function. ‘Remind me what we’ve got to do after we land.’
She ran over every detail again all the way through to their arrival in Cornwall late in the afternoon. ‘It’s not hard. Trust me.’
‘I do.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘Heck. I need to move. I’m stiff as a board.’ Tom stretched his arms over his head and all his joints creaked. ‘God, I’m getting old.’
‘Flying does that to everyone.’
He didn’t argue although to his eyes Fee looked as fresh and clean as e
ver. Nothing about her said ragged or weary. Tom craved a pounding hot shower and change of clothes more than anything and was pretty sure the sight of him wouldn’t impress her mother.
‘Don’t bother with the breakfast they’re offering. A soggy croissant, insipid strawberry yogurt and a lousy lukewarm drink aren’t going to help.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘Wait until we land and we’ll buy some decent bacon rolls and strong coffee for you before we get the bus to Reading.’
Tom shrugged. ‘Fair enough but what about you?’
‘Believe it or not they do sell healthy options too. I’ll be fine.’
He wasn’t stupid enough to debate the point and dragged out the landing card he still needed to fill in, feeling her fond smile on him the whole time.
How on earth could he sleep again? Fee pondered the wonder of it as Tom snored gently with his head pressed against the dirty train window. She supposed he wasn’t weighed down with anxiety in the same way as her. As each station slipped away, the pain in her stomach intensified and she sipped on a bottle of water in an attempt to calm it down. Another hour and they’d be at St. Erth where they’d have a twenty-minute wait for the short connecting train to St. Ives.
A warm hand snaked around her back and Tom pressed soft kisses all the way up and down her neck.
‘Mm. Much better,’ he murmured and settled her into his arms. ‘How about you give me a rundown on this Will Sawyer?’
Fee stiffened. Until now Tom had asked very little about her mother and nothing about the man she was presumably living with again. ‘I haven’t seen him in years but he was around a lot when I was a child. We often stayed with him.’ She frowned and struggled to remember. ‘I get the impression we went back to Cornwall when things went wrong somewhere else.’
‘I wonder if the poor devil was always in love with your mother?’
‘I’ve never thought about it.’ The idea startled her. ‘I loved his house because he had an enormous garden and it was only a ten minute walk from the nearest beach.’
‘He was good to you?’
‘Yes.’ Fee nodded. ‘He often took care of me when my mother was out running around saving the world.’ She couldn’t help smiling. ‘He made me a birthday cake once.’ She swallowed hard. ‘Maddy forgot but he didn’t.’
A thoughtful look settled in Tom’s warm eyes. ‘You don’t suppose …?’ His question trailed away but it wasn’t hard to guess where his mind was going.
‘He’s my father?’ Fee put it into words and he shrugged. ‘I suppose it’s possible but Mum swore it’d been a lie when she told Allain the exact same thing.’ There’d been an endless stream of different men in and out of Fee’s childhood so maybe Maddy really didn’t know who her father was.
‘Just an idea.’
They both went quiet and she was happy to stay that way, needing to collect her thoughts. Fee peered out of the window as the train slowed. ‘This is Camborne. The next stop is ours in about ten minutes.’
‘Are you going to—’
‘No.’ She cut him off before he could finish. ‘We’ll get a taxi and I’ll ring while we’re on the way.’ A shadow crossed his face but he held his tongue. Fee managed a brief, tight smile and prepared to face her past.
Chapter Forty-One
‘Freebird?’
Tom’s reassuring hand on her shoulder gave Fee courage and she put on a bright smile to face her mother. Maddy’s appearance took her by surprise because the smart black trousers and dark red check blouse were a million miles from the bright-coloured hippie clothes she’d always favoured. At least her hennaed hair was the same, although even that appeared well cut instead of hacked at with the nearest pair of scissors.
Maddy ran down the path and seized hold of her hands. She checked Fee out from head to toe. ‘When did you get to be so …’
‘Old?’
‘I was going to say beautiful.’ She touched Fee’s cheek. ‘You were always so serious and well … plain.’
Thanks, Mum. Tom relied on his family to tell him the truth even when it was the last thing he wanted to hear. He held it up as a good thing but she wasn’t convinced.
‘I knew you’d grow into your looks one day.’ She fingered Fee’s hair. ‘The style’s softer than I remember. And jewellery?’ Maddy lifted up the silver bracelet around her wrist. ‘You’ll be wearing red next.’
‘On the phone you told me people change. Aren’t I allowed to as well?’ Fee challenged and her mother’s familiar wry smile emerged.
‘That’s more like my spiky girl. Always sticking up for herself.’
I had to or I wouldn’t have survived. Fee swallowed back tears.
‘Aren’t you going to introduce me to your young man?’ Maddy asked.
She couldn’t believe she’d almost forgotten Tom in the shock of seeing her mother again. Fee pulled him forward.
‘Pleased to meet you, ma’am.’ Tom’s soft, deep drawl brightened her mother’s smile even more.
‘Call me Maddy, please, or I’ll think you’re talking to the Queen.’ Her raspy laughter tugged at Fee’s heart. She’d missed her mother’s earthy good humour.
‘I can see where Fee gets her beauty from … and her uniqueness.’
Fee bit the inside of her cheek to stifle a giggle.
‘I can see why my daughter’s fallen for you.’ Maddy’s eyes shone. ‘You’d better pick up those bags and come in.’ She gestured to the luggage they’d set down on the path. ‘Oh, Will, come and say hello.’
Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a man hovering at the front door of the house, shadowed from clear view. As he stepped forward and headed slowly towards them Fee caught Tom’s quick intake of breath. ‘Long time no see.’
The older version of Will Sawyer was taller and leaner than she remembered, his shoulder-length black hair streaked with grey and sharp, hawkish features softened with age. He pulled her into an affectionate hug and Fee smelled spearmint chewing gum on his breath. The remembered scent assaulted her senses and she fought against crying. He’d sneaked her endless sticks of gum when Maddy was going through her organic, sugar-free phases and called it their secret treat.
‘I thought you were never coming home again.’ Will’s dark blue eyes glazed over and he draped his arm around Maddy’s shoulder. ‘We’ve both missed you.’
‘Well, I’m here now.’ A feeble response but the best she could come up with.
‘Come in.’
Tom picked up their bags and gestured for her to go first. Memories of arriving here with her mother, tired and hungry, flooded back and Fee walked up the couple of steps and into the entrance hall in a daydream. She glanced down at the familiar floor where Will taught her to play hopscotch on the black and white tiles and wondered how she could have allowed herself to forget so much. The large Victorian house had been a sanctuary then and now it wrapped its comforting presence around her again.
‘Neat place,’ Tom commented.
‘Thanks. We’re happy here.’ Will tightened his arm around her mother. The loving smiles they gave each other told her that Tom was right. What else had she missed?
Tom tried to sort things in his head. Fee’s mother didn’t match the image he’d formed of her and Maddy and Will were obviously a couple in every sense of the word. He was no geneticist but he would bet his bottom dollar Will Sawyer was Fee’s father. Their bone structure was identical and when Tom met the older man’s shrewd gaze it’d been like facing Fee in questioning mode.
He left their bags in the bedroom and hurried back down the elegant staircase to the now empty hall. Before Tom could go in search of Fee a door opened and Will came out frowning.
‘Maddy took Fee off tothe living room and she’s asking her about Allain and the paternity test. Tell me what you know.’ His blank, expressionless voice contrasted with the pain lingering in his bright blue eyes. ‘Don’t get bloody noble on me.’ Will growled. ‘I watched you put two and two together the moment you clapped eyes on me.’
�
�Maybe.’
‘There’s no maybe about it.’
‘Why does Maddy think otherwise?’ Fee’s mother had been adamant.
‘She’s always had a thing about the man. First love. You know the sort of thing.’
Gina. Oh, yeah, he knew alright.
‘Maddy convinced herself Dupre was Fee’s father. She chose to forget the number of times we slept together before he was on the scene and again right after he left when she was upset.’
‘She loves you now. I saw that too.’ Tom tried to reassure him.
‘I hope so but we both need her to let go of Dupre’s ghost.’
‘How about we join them?’ Tom suggested. The knot of tension in his neck eased when Will turned away and strode out of the hall.
Fee watched as the colour drained from her mother’s face.
‘Really? Are you sure?’
‘Yes, Mum. I was there when the test results came through. His daughter couldn’t have been happier, but … Allain was upset.’ Fee couldn’t make herself ask the question burning a path through her mind.
Maddy’s smile barely reached the corners of her mouth. ‘Will must’ve been right all along.’
Say it out loud. Go on. I need to hear it.
‘He’s always believed himself to be your father but I refused to listen.’ She couldn’t meet Fee’s eyes. ‘I always wanted you to be Allain’s. I suppose because …’
‘You loved him.’
‘I did,’ she whispered, ‘so very much.’
‘What about Will?’
‘Yes, what about me?’ He rasped out the words and Fee’s heart broke for the man who’d been more of a father to her than she’d ever given him credit for.
Christmas at Black Cherry Retreat Page 22
