by J. P. Comeau
“You’re an idiot,” I hissed.
I started out with a brisk jog for a few blocks. But, the voice in my head kept pushing me forward. Faster and faster I ran until my legs burned and my lungs heaved. It still wasn’t enough to outrun Roxy’s sorrow, though. It wasn’t enough to wipe away the memory of those tears in her eyes. Breathing air through my nose as I turned sharp corners wasn’t enough to wash away the lovely scent of her perfume, and the wind whipping around my body wasn’t enough to rid my mind of the warmth of her body sitting next to me.
“Come on,” I growled.
I leaned forward as sweat dripped down my back. I felt my shirt clinging to me, chafing my damn nipples as I sprinted across the road. Horns honked, and I flipped them off before continuing on my jog, heading back to my apartment so I could get ready for work. And the second I stepped into the cool stream of water in my shower, I began shivering.
I didn’t get any reprieve, though.
It was as if Roxy’s memory was determined to sink me.
You’ve got this. You can do this. You’ve been to war, for fuck’s sake.
If I could block out those horrid memories, I could surely block out the memory of her. As I dried myself off and got ready for work, though, my brain proved me wrong. It was as if I had posed a challenge to my own body, and it was determined to show me up.
So, this is what my stubbornness feels like.
I refused to cave, though. I refused to tap out. I gathered my things and made my way down to my car, preferring a more professional ride into work over my Harley. I cruised on into the office and took the back entrance just so I wouldn't have to run into Roxy at the front desk entrance. I rushed up the stairs and jogged down the hallway, not stopping until I was safely behind the closed--and locked--door of my office.
But, I knew damn good and well I wanted to see her too badly to stay there all day.
“All right. Distraction time,” I whispered.
I walked over to my desk and powered on my computer. I saw a stack of files on my desk already that required my signatures, so I plucked a pen from the cup holder on my desk. I didn’t sit down, though. Instead, I picked up every file and paced my office, reading over the information before signing off on it. I chewed on the tip of my pens and scratched my name onto dotted lines, completely forgetting about the fact that I had logged into the official system that connected everyone in the building together.
And when my laptop began ringing up a storm, I rushed over to it.
“Come on, are you kidding me?” I murmured.
I set the files down and wiggled my hips as I hunched over the keyboard. I chased the warning signal around, trying to figure out why the hell the system was acting as if it had an intruder. I checked the log-in files to see if there were any unauthorized code usages, but there weren’t any. I checked the backlogs to make sure no one was trying to hack into our network, but I didn’t see anything worth any sort of concern. Then, I found it—the reason for the warning sounds.
“What the--?”
I squinted my eyes as I clicked on Roxy’s name. And sure enough, she had typed her password in wrong on four separate occasions. Now, that woman knew damned good and well that she couldn't enter a wrong password that many times before it signaled--.
Oh.
I shook my head as my fingers stroked against the keys on my keyboard. I got the dinging to stop and reset her attempts at her password, then turned my attention back to the files at hand. If she thought she could get my attention that way, she had another thing coming. If she wanted me, she could come up to my office.
Says the man who took the back stairwell.
“Fuck off,” I hissed to myself.
I finally sat down in my chair for the first time since getting into the office, but I couldn't sit still. I kept cocking from one hip to the other. I kept crossing and uncrossing my legs. I picked up files before placing them down, and I found myself staring at the same information over and over again.
Then, that damn warning dinging sound started going off again.
“What now?” I growled.
It didn’t take me long to click through and realize what happened. Roxy had typed her password in wrong again one too many times. I shook my head as I navigated away from the interface and pulled up the front desk cameras, just to make sure nothing hinky was going on upfront. As the camera screen started loading, all sorts of horrid things rushed through my mind. Maybe someone was holding her hostage, and this was her way of contacting me. Maybe someone was threatening her, and she was trying to signal something to me.
But, when the camera feed finally loaded, I saw Roxy by herself, sitting at her desk, staring right at the camera that faced her from the front door.
Then, she held up her middle finger.
I chuckled to myself before I swallowed the sound down. I clicked away from the camera feed and pulled up my company’s system interface again before resetting her password attempts. Then, I kicked the number of password attempts up the highest it would go, all the way to nine hundred and ninety-nine.
“See how busy that keeps you,” I murmured.
I leaned back in my chair and sighed. I started chewing on the bed of my nail before I realized how much I was fidgeting around. I had to get to work. I had to focus on something. I strummed my fingers against my desk before I picked up another file. I signed at the bottom after speed-reading through the material, then moved to my computer to check my email. I rolled around my office in my rolling leather chair, spinning around and trying to disorient myself.
But, every time I gave myself a moment’s breath, her face appeared in the back of my mind.
Come on, Clint. You’re being nuts. Knock it the hell off.
I looked over at my phone before I plucked it from the receiver. I pressed the number six on the dial pad before the phone started ringing in my ear. I reclined back in my chair as I gazed up at the ceiling, propping my feet up on my desk.
“Come on, pick up,” I whispered.
Then, I heard her voice. “Clint?”
I smiled. “Hey, Mom.”
“Clint! What in the world are you doing calling on your lunch break?”
I blinked. “My what?”
She giggled. “Your lunch break. It’s a bit past noon. Or, are you working too much to notice?”
More light daydreaming too much. “Can’t a man call his mom and say, hey?”
“I’m just saying you usually have a routine you stick to. And you don’t deviate much.”
“Well, I’m deviating today. Plus, I think I left my wallet in the car.”
“You did what?”
I started patting myself down. “Yeah, my wallet’s still in my car. So, I haven’t ordered food yet.”
“Are you okay, Clint? That’s not like you?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just a Monday, that’s all.”
She paused. “You want to give that one more try?”
I chuckled. “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”
“Says the eldest son who keeps to himself and never calls unless he’s got something on his mind.”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“You’re my son. You’ll always be that easy to read to me.”
I smiled. “Thanks for talking to me, Mom.”
“Don’t know what I did, but it’s always good to hear your voice.”
“Yours, too.”
“Sure, there’s nothing you want to talk about?”
I slid my feet off my desk. “I’m sure, Mom. Thanks, though.”
“Well, if you change your mind, I’m only a phone call away.”
“Love you, too.”
We blew each other kisses through the phone. Then I dropped it back down into the receiver. I stood up from my desk and patted my pockets down one more time before I looked over at my office door. Damn it, how the hell did I forget my wallet? I never forgot my wallet.
Roxy.
“Jesus,” I growled.
; I stormed out of my office and backed down the stairwell. It poured me out into the parking garage, where I unlocked my car and rummaged around. I finally found it underneath the driver’s seat, almost as if I’d never slipped it into my pocket in the first damn place. And after digging it out, I headed back up the stairwell.
Then it dawned on me yet again that it was my lunch break.
“I could just go somewhere for lunch,” I said to myself.
I paused, midway up the stairs to my office, and sighed.
“Or, I could order something. Have it delivered. I never have lunch delivered, though. People might think something’s wrong. But, if I go out, I might run into Roxy. What if she goes to the diner I usually go to? I could pick something up. Call the order in and drive through to get it. Then, I could park and sit in my car to eat. But, what if someone catches me? They might think--.”
You’re going crazy. Cut it out.
I leaned against the concrete wall and heaved a heavy sigh. I had finally snapped. At least, it felt like it. I was actually debating with myself in a stairwell, talking out loud, as if someone else were here. I’d never felt so fucked up in all my life, and I had survived seven different war zone areas. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes to try and clear my mind. But, all it did was give me more black space to envision Roxy, in that cute little outfit.
With that cute little tipsy stare in her eyes.
“I can’t wait until today is over,” I whispered.
I finally decided to just order food and have it delivered. Because that option was much better than having to face the world and possibly run into Roxy. I knew she was upset with me, and rightfully so. But, we didn’t need to be causing any more of a scene in a professional atmosphere. I leaped up the rest of the stairs, taking them three at a time until I got to the top floor. Then, with sweat dripping down my back, I strode down the hallway until I found myself within the safe confines of my office.
It was right before that damn warning sound blared from the speakers of my computer.
“What now!?” I roared.
I heard doors slamming in the distance as my voice ricocheted around the room. I stormed over to my computer and fell into my chair, wiggling the mouse on its pad. I clicked through multiple avenues before tracking down the source of the warning. And damn it, if it wasn’t Roxy’s desk again. With those fucking failed attempts at her password.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine times.
“You’ve got determination. I’ll give you that,” I murmured.
And even though I sent out a form for her to reset her password, it didn’t stop a grin from spreading across my face.
Determined and stubborn. A beautiful combination.
The combination reminded me of my ex, though. She had been determined and stubborn. Strong and independent. Resolute to a fault. And she left me high and dry for one of my old SEAL buddies. It reminded me very quickly why I don’t mess around with relationships any longer.
And that was all it took to finally push Roxy from my mind.
11
_____
ROXY
ONE WEEK LATER
Clint was stubborn; I’d give him that. But, it was fun playing around with him. At least, for a short time, it was. No matter how many times I set off that alarm with punching in wrong passwords, he didn’t come down to face me. He didn’t grow a set of balls large enough to come stare me in the face after what happened the night of my birthday. However, as the week progressed, he became bolder and bolder.
And pretty soon, he started passing by my desk every morning in the most amazing suits I’d ever seen on a man.
“Morning, Roxy.”
“Here, brought you some coffee from the lounge.”
“Don’t forget, you have an extra half hour for lunch. Don’t think I didn’t see you clock back in early yesterday.”
I knew he was taunting me. I knew he was wearing those suits just so I’d run my eyes over him. And damn it, it did the trick. Those suits clung to him in all the best ways, and I salivated over the muscles beneath the pristine fabrics. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop staring at him. I couldn't stop looking forward to seeing him every morning. And I sure as hell couldn't rid my nose of the smell of his cologne whenever I laid down at night. All week, he’d been torturing me. All week, he’d been driving me crazy. He knew it, too. I saw it in the smirk he gave me every morning whenever he walked through those front doors and stopped me dead in my tracks.
Every.
Single.
Time.
Damn it. He’s sexy as hell.
Every time I turned around, I was making excuses for needing to go up and see him. Files I ‘needed’ to deliver myself. Signatures I ‘needed’ to acquire in person. Files that ‘needed’ to be pulled for new clients and cases. Anything to get the smallest glimpse of him and be in his presence for a little bit longer. I spent the entire week coming up with reasons to be near him. I spent every night fantasizing about him until I slipped into a fitful slumber. And I did absolutely nothing to stop my eyes from lingering on his body every time he walked by my desk.
It was pure and utter torture.
And I loved it.
“Roxy?”
Clint’s voice through the desk intercom pulled me from my trance, and I scrambled to answer him.
I cleared my throat. “Yes, Mr. Hearthstone?”
“Come up to my office, please. At your earliest convenience.”
“Of course, sir. Right away.”
I stood from my desk and ran my hands over my dress. I slid my feet back into my heels and fluffed my hair out before reaching into my purse. I pulled out my compact mirror and did a quick check of my makeup, just to make sure I didn’t need to touch anything up. And after running a smooth layer of red lipstick across my lips, I started for the elevator, while trying to ignore the fluttering of nerves in my gut.
What did he want me for? Was something wrong? Did he simply want to see me? Was I in trouble for something? As I rose up the elevator, I wrung my hands together. There was no telling what he wanted, and I knew whatever he asked of me, the answer would always be ‘yes.’
Yes, Clint. I’ll get those files right away.
Yes, Clint. I’ll run out and pick up your lunch.
Yes, Clint. I’ll gobble down your cock for dessert. Whatever you want.
“Come on. Pull it together,” I breathed.
The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open, revealing the top floor. And as I gazed down the hallway at Clint’s office, I froze. I don’t know what happened, but I couldn’t move. Something held me in place as my breathing came in short spurts.
You’re being stupid. It’s only Clint. It’s only your boss.
It’s only the man I fantasized about every night for the past four nights.
As the elevator doors started to close, the jarring sound ripped me from my trance. I leaped off the elevator and started down the hallway before knocking softly on his door. I heard his voice call out for me to come in, and I slipped inside, quickly closing the door behind me. Like he always wanted.
And when his eyes rose to me, I saw them lingering against my chest for just a few seconds longer than they should have.
It filled me with a great deal of pride.
“Anything I can help you with, sir?” I asked.
He stood from his desk. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”
“Of course. It sounded urgent.”
He walked from around his desk. “That’s because it is.”
My heart slammed against my chest. “What’s going on, Cli--Mr. Hearthstone?”
He chuckled. “It’s fine. Behind closed doors, ‘Clint’ is just fine.”
I smiled. “Good to know, Clint.”
He leaned against his desk. “I took another look at your resume.”
I paused. “Oh?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Yep. And after reviewing it a few times over, I know why it’s been bu
gging me all this time.”
“I’m sorry, you called me up here to talk about my resume?”
He blinked. “What did you think I called you up here for?”
To bend me over your desk? “I just thought it was work-related. File-pulling, or something like that.”
He shook his head. “No, nothing like that.”
“Are you about to fire me? Is this because of all those alarms I--?”
He interrupted me. “I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re too qualified for the job you’re doing.”
I licked my lips. “But, you’re not firing me?”
He shook his head. “Nope.”
“So, what are you doing, then?”
He grinned. “I’m promoting you.”
“To…?”
“To the assistant manager of my foremost security team.”
My mouth went dry. “Come again?”
He stood up, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Roxy, you’re good with people. You’re good at figuring out problems and dealing with their shit while still putting them in their place. You’re headstrong, not easy to manipulate, and you’re independent. I know that even if I didn’t set out a schedule for you, you’d still abide by one. It’s just how you work.”
“So, how does that make me qualified to do anything with your security teams?”
“The men I hire are ex-military and very stubborn. They need someone who’s more available than I am to give them what they need, whether it’s time off, or more hours, or a stern talking to. You’re good at that kind of stuff. You have a mind for organization, and you don’t have the stomach for anyone’s crap. Those are two necessary components for this kind of job that not many people have enough of, in my opinion.”
“So, you want me to manage one of your security teams.”
“Well, I technically manage all of them. But, you’d be assistant manager for the only team I hire full-time.”
I nodded slowly. “Right.”
I wasn’t sure where all of this was coming from. I mean, I hadn’t worked very much in my life, which was obvious on my resume. The damn thing was only three or four lines with a bunch of filler to beef it up. But, I wasn’t going to question things. A change of scenery would be nice, especially if it came with a pay bump.
