“Wake up. You’re dreaming. Wake up!”
Veles glared at me as if I was an offensive disturbance as I shook him. “Please. Please, wake up.” My voice broke on a sob.
Something chittered to my left, and then a pale shadow leapt at me through the fog. I shoved Veles out of the way and slid my dagger from its sheath in one swift movement. The bone blade scraped the hide of whatever had attacked us and drew a scream of rage.
“Fight, Raven. We’ll have to fight.”
There was nothing else to do but try and ward off the monsters that lurked in the fog. Someone screamed, a high-pitched wail of pain, and then the clearing erupted in that same chittering I’d heard before the pale monster attacked. I ran toward the scream, tripping and going down. Warm wetness coated my palms, and the smell of copper hit my nostrils.
Blood.
Gore.
Death.
“Wynter!” The Raven’s voice came from far behind me.
How far had I run? I needed to go back and help him. I scrambled to my feet just as the fog before me parted, and two milky eyes with obsidian pupils fixed their attention on me. There was a horrific face with a yawning mouth, and there were teeth, but those eyes … I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream.
And then the maw opened wider, dripping saliva, revealing a suckered black tongue desperate to taste my flesh.
The creature lunged.
My scream was locked in my throat as the monster aimed for my face, but then I was being hit from the side by an unknown force. My shoulder slammed into the ground with a jarring sensation that accompanied the grind of bone.
“Up. Get up.”
Dareth?
Hands hauled me to my feet.
“We need to move everyone east. East is clear.”
“Which way is east?”
He grabbed my hand and pulled. Something was different about him, but there was no time to figure it out because we were running. I caught sight of Raven’s form up ahead. He had pushed Veles behind him while he fought off a pale, long-limbed creature. My dagger was already out and sliced easily through the creature’s flank.
“Raven, we need to go east.”
The Raven looked to my right and made a strange sound. I turned to look at Dareth properly. But it wasn’t Dareth, it was someone taller and dark-haired, but those eyes … The eyes were all Dareth.
“I’ll explain later, lass. Come on,” Dareth ordered.
The Raven tugged at Veles’s arm, and then we were sprinting and stumbling out of the fog.
Veles’s knees buckled, and he shook his head as if to clear it. “What the fuck?”
“Stay here.” I turned and ran back into the fog.
There was no time to explain. No time to argue. I needed to save Fenn.
A cacophony of sound assaulted my ears as soon as the fog closed around me. Figures to my left and figures to my right.
“Fenn!”
There, a flash of golden hair. It was him, it had to be. He was locked in battle with a larger figure, and neither of them had noticed the thing sneaking up on them. It was hunched, pale, long-limbed with hands sprouting fingers that looked like wicked branches. It was getting closer. Melting out of the fog toward its prey.
“Fenn, watch out.”
The thing’s head jerked up, and then it was sailing through the air. Over Fenn’s head and straight at me. There was no time to run, no time to do anything but bring my bone dagger up in defense.
And then something silver met the monster in the air with a thud, sweeping in an arc and taking the monster with it.
A wolf.
A crudding wolf.
The huge wolf tore at the monster and then lifted its head and howled. The sound was a vibration that smashed into my ears and made my teeth tingle.
The winter king dropped his weapon and clutched at his head. Eerie wails rose up around us, and then the fog began to dissipate.
In mere seconds, it was gone. The world was silent, and the air was sweet and cold. And then a figure stepped into my vision. Sandy hair kissed by silver, sky blue eyes shrouded in shadow.
Finn?
It couldn’t be. It had to be a trick. Finn couldn’t be here. He was in the tower with Dagda. But then Finn bridged the gap between us. His arms wrapped around me, and his scent filled my head.
It was him.
It was really him.
A sob rose in my throat and broke from my lips. I was hugging him back, squeezing tight, my face buried in the furs that cloaked him.
“You’re here, you’re really here.” My voice cracked. But wait … I pulled back. “How are you here?”
Chapter Eleven
Finn placed his hands on my shoulders and locked his gaze on mine.
This was really happening. “Finn, how can you be here?”
“The Dagda sent me. Wynter, you need to come back. You need to come back with me now.”
“What?”
“What are you talking about?” Veles growled.
Finn ignored him and kept his attention on me. “The Dagda got it wrong. You were never meant to be here. You were meant to be kept far away from Faerie. Oblivion has seen you, connected with you, right?”
I nodded dumbly.
“And the shimmer is fractured because of it,” Finn continued.
Veles cursed softly.
Finn’s lips pressed in a hard line for a moment. “The Dagda now believes that Morrigan left a part of her soul with Dagda because she understood that without it, Oblivion wouldn’t have full control over her power. She gave herself to Oblivion to trap him in her body, but in turn, she became trapped too. Oblivion can’t take full control of her power without the rest of her soul. Wynter, Oblivion can’t fully break free until it has you.”
And it knew that now. It knew I was here and that it needed me. The knowledge was a certainty unfurling in my mind as the final memory from my encounter with Oblivion crashed to the surface of my consciousness.
I sucked in a sharp breath. “The shimmer … I saw it. Oblivion made me touch it.”
Raven made a choked sound. “Oblivion is connected to Morrigan, and when it was inside your mind, for a moment, it had the whole of Morrigan’s soul.”
It used that power to fracture the shimmer, and if I hadn’t ejected it, it could have brought the shimmer down. Oh, gods.
“Do you see?” Finn said. “Do you see why we have to get you back?”
“Or do we?” the wolf said.
I balked and fixed my attention on her. In my excitement at seeing Finn, I’d completely forgotten about my silver savior.
I stepped around Finn to address the majestic creature. “Who are you?”
It was Finn that answered on her behalf. “It’s Roxy. She carried me here.”
Roxy? I looked into the wolf’s eyes and saw my pet dormouse reflected there. “Well, I suppose if you’d come to me in that form back on Yav, I’d have run screaming.”
She chuckled. “The dormouse was perfect for my needs. I was to watch over you. Keep you safe and lead you to Nawia when the time was right. I thought my role was over, but I was wrong.” She padded closer. “The Dagda has had many beliefs. He believed you needed to be brought to the tower, he believed you needed to be sent to Faerie, and that you were our only hope at stopping Oblivion. I was a skeptic. But then you came here, and I watched you survive time and time again. I watched you save yourself and your companions, and I knew with every fiber of my being that you were the one.”
“Roxy? What are you doing?” Finn turned to her, his hands out. “You heard what the Dagda said.”
She leveled her attention on him. “I did. But I don’t believe in hunches. I believe in what I see, and I see a powerful warrior with the soul of a goddess. I see someone who has been in Oblivion’s grip and survived.” Her wolf mouth curved in what seemed to be a smile. “I see hope.”
The knot in my chest tightened with her words.
“And if Oblivion gets its hands on her,” the Raven said softly. “
If it succeeds in tainting her, then it will have what it needs to fully break through the shimmer. Both Faerie and Yav will be doomed.”
“The shimmer is already fractured,” Roxy said. “If we do nothing, it’s only a matter of time before it fails.” Her attention was on me.
“Wynter.” Finn turned to me. “You need to come with me. It’s the only way to ensure Oblivion doesn’t get what it wants.”
“Enough,” Fenn said. He stood, the tip of his sword braced on the frozen earth. “Let her decide. Let Wynter make the choice.”
“I agree,” Veles said, his warm regard on me. “I’ll follow you, whatever you decide.”
I stepped away from the group, the tightness in my chest intensifying as my thoughts whirled around in confusion. I was tired, despite the newfound strength in my limbs. I was scared, despite the power that surged through me. I was just a girl despite the godly soul inside me. Going back would mean safety … Going back would mean it was no longer my problem.
But for how long?
Going back might delay Oblivion, but it wouldn’t stop it. There was no choice. Not really.
“No.” I stood straighter. “I’m not going back.”
Finn’s shoulders sagged, and he closed his eyes. “Wynter. The Dagda knows what he’s doing.”
“Does he?” the winter king asked.
“Doesn’t seem like it,” Veles replied.
Finn’s gaze flicked from side to side. He was thinking it through. Weighing up the pros and cons. It was classic Finn.
I took his hand and laced my fingers through his. “I’ve come too far to go back now. We found the winter king, and we’re going to help him get his memories back, and once we do, the winter kingdom will be free. We can unite the Tuatha, and we can weaken Oblivion, and once we do, I will take its heart.”
“How?” Finn asked, his jaw tense. “How do you plan to get close enough to Oblivion to tear out its heart?” He scanned my face. “What if it claims you first?”
“I don’t know. Yet. But then I had no idea how to escape from Rayne until I did. I had no idea how to find the winter king until I did.” I squeezed his hand as the knot inside my stomach unraveled. “I’ll know when the time is right, and I’m not alone.” I looked around me, at Fenn and what was left of his men, at Raven, Veles, Dareth, and Roxy, then back to Finn. “I have an army of my own to keep me safe.”
His throat bobbed, and then a small smile played on his lips. “You were always as stubborn as a mule.”
“And you always backed me up.”
He reached up to caress my cheek. “That doesn’t change today.”
My heart felt too large for my chest as I stared up at him. “I missed you so much.”
His thumb brushed the corner of my mouth. “I’m never leaving you again.”
“Ahem.” Dareth cleared his throat. “We should pack and leave before that fog returns.”
It was night, and nighttime wasn’t the best time to be traveling. However, staying put right now was even more dangerous.
“Let’s get moving.” I walked over to the furs I’d shared with Veles. “If we leave now, we can be at the autumn keep by midday.”
* * *
I cornered Dareth at the edge of the clearing while Veles finished rolling up our sleep furs.
His face was much younger, a man in his forties, not the elderly, wizened thing he’d been a few hours ago. He was taller too. The same height as me, whereas before he’d barely reached my chest.
I stood, hands on hips. “We had a deal, Dareth.”
He held up his hand. “It’s not what you think, lass. I didn’t use me glamour.” His lips curled in a smirk. “I didn’t have ta. All I had ta do was be around you and ya lovers.”
My cheeks heated. “You … you watched me and Veles?”
“Hardly. I felt it. The desire, the heat, and I fed. We agreed that were fine, didn’t we?”
We had. But it felt so invasive, as if he’d been a part of our intimate moment. “Don’t do it again.”
His expression hardened. “We had a deal. If you don’t want me to feed, then you’ll have ta keep your legs closed.”
Anger surged up my throat, and then my hand was at his throat, and his head slammed off the tree trunk behind him. “You’ll keep away from me, Dareth; you’ll do it because if you don’t, then I will hurt you. Got it?”
His eyes were wide. “I saved your life.”
“And I saved yours. We’re even.”
His eyes narrowed. “It’s not something I control. If you put it out there, it will find me. It’s just how it works.”
It was who he was, what he was. How could I punish him for needing to eat? The anger drained out of my body. I released him and turned away.
“It was powerful. Both times,” he called out.
My step faltered, but I didn’t turn back to him.
“The desire was powerful because it came from the heart, not just the body,” he continued. “It was pure. Thank you.”
Finn was watching me from a few meters away, and I strode up to him, leaving Dareth behind.
“Will you walk with me?” he asked.
For some reason, my cheeks grew warm as if he’d asked me to be his date. We’d lived together for years. We’d taken meals together, shared a room, but it had always been under the guise of something else. Now, for the first time in forever, we were out in the world—even though it wasn’t our own world—as what we wanted to be. Two people who were in love.
But now there were others in my heart too.
Veles and Raven.
They were from a different world, one that wasn’t limited by mortal convention, and maybe that was why they’d so easily accepted my need to love them both. I knew they’d accept Finn too, but would Finn be able to accept them?
I slipped my hand into his. “We need to talk.”
* * *
Finn wasn’t holding my hand any longer. In fact, he wouldn’t even look at me. He walked beside me like an automaton. Roxy was ahead of us acting as lookout. Veles and Raven were a meter or so behind us on the narrow path that wound through shrubland and took us toward the main road to the autumn city. I could feel the heat of their regard on my back. Had they heard our conversation? Had they seen how Finn had jerked away from me when I’d told him about my feelings for them.
My eyes pricked and heated.
No. Don’t you dare, Berstuk said. You don’t deserve to be treated with contempt for loving. If he can’t accept you for who you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.
If only it were that simple. If only it didn’t feel as if fire ants were stomping on my heart.
“Finn? Talk to me.”
“I’m happy for you,” he said stiffly. “Happy that you’ve found love here. But I can’t be a part of it. I can’t watch you with them. It’s not who I am. I want to be with someone who feels that I’m enough. Someone who doesn’t need anyone else in her heart.”
He kept his eyes on the moonlit path ahead.
I’d killed. I’d fought. I’d survived, and this place had changed me irrevocably. It had opened my mind and my heart, but in that moment, I was just Wynter again. The girl who ached for Finn, who wanted nothing more than for him to see her.
In that moment, I was entirely human.
Maybe I was broken. Maybe I was greedy. But this was who I was. I couldn’t give up Veles for Finn, and I wouldn’t give Raven up for Veles. I wanted them both. I … I loved them both. They were a part of me just as Finn had always been a part of me, but it didn’t matter what I wanted. I couldn’t force him to share me.
“I’m sorry.” My voice was small. “Do you wish you hadn’t come after me?”
He exhaled sharply. “No, Wynter. I love you with all my heart. Even though you can’t love me with all of yours.”
His words were a rebuke, like needles burying themselves in my heart, and then he was striding ahead.
I let him go.
“He’s a fool,” Veles sneered. “H
e needs to understand that he’s being selfish and greedy.” He made to storm off after Finn.
I grabbed hold of his arm and tugged him back. “Please. Don’t.”
Veles glared at me. “Why not? He can’t be allowed to hurt you like this. Not without me hurting him.”
Raven and Dareth walked past us. Deliberately not looking at us. I ducked my head as Fenn and his men skirted us. Grendel said something too low to catch, but there was curiosity in his tone.
“Wynter?” Veles demanded an answer.
The beast was just under the surface, barely contained, looking down at me. It wanted to act. To protect and avenge. A part of me was thrilled by that knowledge. To know that he’d always be there for me.
I sighed. “One could argue that I’m the greedy and selfish one.” My smile held no heat. It felt wrong on my face, so I let it slide. “I’m the one who wants to be free to love three men. I want it all.”
He gripped my biceps. “And I love you enough to let you have it.”
My throat grew tight. “I’m lucky to have you. I’m lucky that I’m your dream just as you’re mine. But Finn has a dream too, and it isn’t me.”
“Then he’s a fucking fool. Love isn’t something finite, it’s infinite, and the more you love, the more love you’ll have to give. By loving more than one man, you’re filling our lives with an abundance of love.”
When he put it that way, it no longer sounded like I was taking. It sounded like we were all receiving.
He pinched my chin with forefinger and thumb and forced me to look at him. “Don’t ever be ashamed of what your heart and body need. I’m a selfish bastard, and if I could have you to myself, if I knew you’d be happy to be with just me, then I’d do it. I’d keep you naked and fed and fucked to distraction in a cozy cave somewhere. But that isn’t what you want. It isn’t what you need.”
Loving Finn was all I’d known until I’d entered Nawia. Not being able to love him was something I’d have to learn. It would take time. It would hurt.
I took Veles’s hand. “You know, a cozy cave sounds pretty good about now.”
“And being fucked to distraction?”
Fate’s Destiny: Heart of Darkness Book 3 Page 6
