“Can we go back to the living room and I’ll finish explaining?” he asks, and I nod.
When we return, the pukey mess is gone, but there’s a damp patch on the carpet where I was sitting. “I’m sorry about your carpet.”
“It’s only a carpet. Forget about it.” Cam gestures for me to sit back down. “Are you sure you’re up for hearing the rest?”
“Yes. I didn’t come all this way to walk away with half-answers.”
“Who sent the email?” Skeet asks. “And do you know which email account it was sent to.”
“I don’t know, and yes. I can write it down for you.”
“I’m a CS major, and I’ve been going through Ethan’s old iPad and iPhone to see if I could find anything. So far, I’ve come up empty-handed, but that has a lot to do with the fact the police wiped his hard drive clean.”
“They did?” Cam frowns. “That seems strange, but I don’t know how investigations work. I suppose Ethan could’ve destroyed it, but I don’t understand why he would. That was proof of what they did to Blaire, and because she was under fifteen at the time of the assault, there is no statute of limitations. They could still be brought to trial. I tried to tell him he could use it to get those bastards locked up and clear Blaire’s name, but he kept saying it was too late and mumbling stuff I didn’t understand.”
“Like what?” Ax asks.
“Something about it’d hurt her, and he couldn’t choose.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
He shrugs. “I’ve no idea, and he wouldn’t explain when I asked. He just kept saying it was too late and he had to take matters into his own hands.” He scrubs a hand over his jaw. “That’s when he told me he was going to take your dad’s hunting rifle and shoot them. Honestly, he sounded crazy, and I didn’t believe him. He was upset. I was upset and full of rage too. We spoke about how they deserved to die, but I thought we were just venting. If I believed he was serious, I would never have let him leave my house that night.”
Silence engulfs us, and I try to digest everything Cam’s shared.
“After I got off the phone with you the following morning, I sent him a hundred messages telling him not to do it,” Cam continues, staring absently off into space. “Then I tried dialing the school, but he must’ve cut the phone lines, and I couldn’t get through. I thought of running to school but knew I wouldn’t make it in time. Then I remembered my aunt was friendly with one of the secretaries in the school office. By the time I got her cell number, I was too late. When she answered my call, she was screaming and crying, and gunshots were ringing out in the background. I knew I was too late.”
“And you didn’t tell the police about the video?” Skeet asks.
Cam shakes his head. “Ethan asked me not to, so I told them I knew he was upset and angry but not why. It’s not like it would’ve made any difference then. Everyone was mourning those assholes, and any attempt at real justice for Blaire was lost. Releasing that tape would just have hurt her more.”
He looks at me with pleading eyes. “I couldn’t stay with you and keep that hidden. That’s why I had no choice but to let you go. And it killed me because I’ve always loved you, Blaire. Always. And I hate that I let you down.”
“We’ve all made so many mistakes. But we don’t get a do-over. We just have to try and learn from them and move on with our lives.”
“I carry the guilt with me all the time,” Cam admits. “For failing you and Ethan. And I miss that stupid fucker so much. He was my best friend, and I feel his loss every single day.”
“Me too.” I smile at him through watery eyes. “And I’ve hated him for leaving me, but I can’t be mad at him anymore. Not now.”
“He loved you, B. I’ve never seen a brother so devoted to his sister. What happened to you killed a part of him, and he had it thrown in his face every day when he saw those degenerates around school. He hated himself for not being there to protect you.” His face contorts in pain. “I did too, but Ethan felt the pain as if it had happened to him. I’m not sure he wouldn’t have snapped anyway. The video just propelled him toward something that may have happened anyway.”
“I can’t say that I blame the guy,” Skeet admits. “I didn’t know him. Wish I’d gotten the chance, but if anyone hurt my sisters like that, I don’t think I could hold back either.”
“I hate that Ethan has come out like the villain in all this,” Cam adds. “But there isn’t anything we can do about that.”
“I know. I’ve thought about it nonstop since Ethan died, but the truth can’t come out now. It’s not right to tarnish their memories because their families have suffered enough. They don’t need to know their sons were monsters or that their girlfriends were horrible bullies who tormented me for years. I couldn’t live with myself if I inflicted that pain on them. It needs to stay in the past.”
Cam gives Skeet Ethan’s email address. “Do you think the same person that sent Ethan the email is the one who sent Blaire the threatening emails?” he asks, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” Skeet’s brow creases like it always does when he’s lost in thought. I lean into Ax’s side, and he slides his hand around my waist. “Is there anyone you can think of who might’ve sent them?” Skeet asks while Cam stares at Ax’s arm.
“It could be any number of people. Emotions ran high in the aftermath of the shooting, and I know people unfairly blamed Blaire.”
“While you just sat back and let them.” Heath glowers at my ex, letting him know exactly what he thinks of him.
“I was weak and a coward. I don’t need you to point that out.” Cam pierces me with a look. “I will always regret leaving you to face that alone. I’m so sorry, B. I’d do anything to take it back.”
“It’s okay. I forgive you.”
“I don’t deserve that, but thank you.”
Skeet smiles at me proudly, linking his fingers through my left hand.
“Okay, I’ve got to ask,” Cam says, his gaze bouncing between us. “Which one of them are you dating, because I’m confused.”
“I’m dating Skeet,” I say, looking up at my long-haired boyfriend. “And Ax too.” I grin as I snuggle into his arm.
“And me as well,” Heath says, startling me, but I don’t correct him.
“What?” Cam’s mouth is practically hanging to the floor.
I beam at him. “I’m in a relationship with all three of them, and they make me incredibly happy.”
He’s momentarily lost for words until he composes himself. “That’s, um. Fuck.” He claws his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what to say to that.” Shock, and a hint of concern, is splayed across his face.
“Say you’re happy I’m happy and it’s great I’ve got three amazing guys in my corner.”
“I am happy you’re happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
“I hope you’re happy too?”
He shrugs. “I’m getting there.”
He walks us to the door, opening it slowly before turning to the guys. “I’d like a minute alone with Blaire.”
“Then ask Blaire,” Ax coolly replies. “We don’t speak for her.”
Cam looks like he wants to ram his fist in Ax’s face.
“It’s okay.” I wriggle out of Ax’s embrace. “Can you guys wait for me outside?”
“Sure thing, babe.” Skeet pecks me on the lips, and I feel his eyes on Cam the whole time.
“I’d like to say it’s been a pleasure,” Heath grits out. “But I’d only be lying.” He shoves past Cam out the door. Heath’s like a big, grouchy bear these days, and I can’t help smiling even though it’s not something I should condone or encourage.
“Take your time.” Ax kisses my cheek before him and Skeet leave together.
“You’re really happy?” Cam asks, l
eaning against the wall and crossing his ankles.
“I am now.”
“After what happened, I never would’ve seen you dating three guys at once.”
“Me neither,” I truthfully admit. “But it works. They’re really good to me, and they’ve helped me heal.”
“Well, then I’m glad.” His features soften as he looks at me. “You look beautiful, by the way.” Tentatively, he reaches out, caressing my cheek for one fleeting moment. “You’ve always been beautiful, but you’ve really grown into your skin. They’re lucky guys.”
“I’m the lucky one. For a time there, I never thought I’d be able to recover.”
“I know what you mean. It might’ve looked like I was coping on the outside, but I wasn’t. I didn’t get a free pass either.”
“I know, Cam, and it’s okay. I meant what I said. I forgive you. Now, it’s time to get on with our lives.”
He pushes off the wall. “Can I hug you? Please? I just need to hold you in my arms one last time.”
I should probably tell him no, but I need this closure as much as he seems to. I step into his embrace, and it’s soft and tender. Like a hug from a brother or a close family member. In a lot of ways, that’s what Cam is to me. He was my brother’s best friend, and like an adopted member of our family, way before he was my boyfriend—and for much longer. “I nearly died when I saw what they did to you, Blaire,” he whispers. “You’re so incredibly strong and brave.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “You’re my hero.”
I ease out of his arms then, smiling up at him. “Have a good life, Cam, and be happy. I know Ethan would want that for you.”
I don’t wait to hear his reply, stepping out of his house and closing the door to my past. The biggest smile graces my lips as I skip down the steps to where my future is waiting.
Chapter Forty-Three
“Can we talk about what you said back in Rhode Island?” I ask from the doorway of Heath’s bedroom. We only got home at two a.m., and we’ve been sleeping since. Skeet and Ax have gone to work out leaving Heath and me alone in the house. I sense it was a strategic move, and it’s not one I’m going to waste.
“Okay.” His tone carries a hint of wariness.
I perch on the corner of his bed as he runs a hand through his dark-blond hair. “Did you tell Cam you were my boyfriend for his benefit or you meant it?”
“Direct. Wow.”
I shrug unapologetically. “I’m not holding things back anymore. This is how I roll now. Open, honest communication. Starting with you telling me what’s going through that obstinate head of yours.”
A devilish glint appears in his eye. “Right now, my obstinate brain wants to kiss the shit out of you.”
The biggest grin spreads across my mouth. “I shouldn’t condone this, because we do need to talk, but kissing the shit out of me beats conversing any day.” I crawl into his lap, snaking my arms around his neck before he changes his mind. “Show me how it’s done, stud.”
A rumbling sound tumbles from his mouth before he grabs my head forcefully, melding our lips together. I close my eyes, sighing contentedly into his mouth.
Heath kisses me like he thought he’d never get to do it again. Every time I try to draw a breath, he pulls me back to his lush mouth, nibbling my lips and holding my face firmly in his large palms. I lose track of how much time passes, just reveling in kissing him again and how everything feels perfect now that I’m back on track with all my guys.
When he finally releases me, I’m seeing stars. “Hot damn,” I pant. “You weren’t lying.”
He pecks my lips softly, honoring me with the first genuine smile since I reappeared in their lives. Another layer of stress flitters away. “I’m sorry for acting like a giant bag of dicks.” His gaze is adoring as he peers deep into my eyes. “I love you, Blaire, and I’m all yours if you still want me.”
“You mean it?” My voice exudes excitement and a tinge of disbelief.
“I do.” He hugs me close, squeezing me as if he’s afraid to ever let me go.
I rest my head on his shoulder, grinning like a lovesick fool. “I want you, Heath. There will never be a time where I don’t.” I lift my head and cup one side of his face. “I love you too much to ever lose you again.”
“I don’t know what I’ve done to earn your forgiveness and a second chance, but I promise I won’t let you down.”
“What about all the other girls?”
He places his hand over mine. “None of those girls meant anything to me, Blaire. I told you I was a prick to them. A prick. Period. It was meaningless sex. That’s all. No one ever came close to you.”
“I want to believe you.”
He grips my shoulders with both hands, moving closer to me. My hands drop into my lap. “I don’t blame you for having doubts, but you know the real me, and the real me is not the person I’ve been on this campus. I’m done with random hookups. I love you. Only you. And I will commit to you one hundred percent. You never have to doubt my loyalty. I will never betray you. Never.”
“Okay.”
Air whooshes out of his mouth in grateful relief. “Thank you. And just so we’re clear, I always used condoms, and I’m completely clean. I get tested every few months.”
“That’s good to know.” I’m grinning like a goober as I grab my cell from the back pocket of my jeans, tapping out a quick text.
He frowns. “Whatcha doin’, babe?”
“Texting the good news to Ax and Skeet. This is going to make them so happy.”
He groans. “Skeet is going to be unbearable. This is all his dreams come true.”
I playfully shove his shoulders and they don’t budge. Like, at all. He’s an unmovable mountain of a man, and my pants turn damp at the thought of scaling him.
“Hmm.” Heath inspects my face carefully. “Mind telling me what’s going through your mind right now?”
“It’s too X-rated to share,” I tease. “Unless you’re ready to go from zero to sixty?”
His eye blaze with heat, and he grips my hips, pushing his crotch up into me. “I’ve been sporting a constant boner since you returned.” I grind down against him, and we both groan. “You make me so damn hard.”
I move my hand to the waistband of his jeans. “I can fix that for you.”
He curls his fingers around my wrist, stalling me. “You don’t have to do that, and I thought you wanted to talk.”
“Talking’s overrated.” I smirk, popping the top button on his jeans. “Besides, I think we’ve said all that needs to be said for now.” I lick my lips in a deliberately provocative manner. “Let me make you feel good.”
“Only if you let me reciprocate.” He cups the apex of my thighs through my jeans.
A shudder works its way through me, and I grind down on his hand. “Hell yeah.”
I get rid of my jeans while Heath does the same. Sexual tension is heavy in the air, and our eyes never waver from one another as we undress. I hook my fingers in the side of my panties, ready to remove them, when he stops me. “Let me.” My body tingles in anticipation, and I nod.
He slowly drags my panties down my legs, and I step out of them, kicking them aside. Then he kneels before me, pushing my legs wide. Before I’ve had time to process his intention, his hot mouth is on me, his tongue running up and down my slit, turning my insides into Jell-O. I take hold of his shoulders, gripping tight as he devours me. His tongue moves inside me, and a primitive moan slips out of my lips as my release starts building. He slides one finger into me as his mouth moves to my clit, and he sucks hard. He pumps his finger in and out, his mouth moving over my clit at the same pace, and I detonate a couple of minutes later, barely able to maintain an upright position as my body spasms with liquid pleasure. He milks every drop of my arousal before pulling his mouth away and standing, gripping my hips and keeping me steady.
“Heath,” I rasp before crushing my mouth to his. I kiss him passionately, greedily, while I stroke his erection through his boxers. He’s hard as steel, and my pussy clenches with the need to feel him inside me. “Fuck me. Please.”
“Blaire.” His pained expression matches his tone. “I want to. More than anything, but are you really sure about this? We’ve only just gotten back together and—”
I put my hand over his mouth, quieting his protests. “I know what I want and it’s you. All of you. We might technically have only just reunited, but it’s not like we don’t know one another, and it’s not like we’re kids anymore.” I remove my hand, brushing my lips against his in a feather-soft touch. “I want to feel as close to you as possible, and I think you need this as much as me.”
“I do.” He hugs me to his chest. “I need you so badly, Blaire. The only time I feel good about myself is when I’m with you.”
“Then make love to me, Heath.” I run my fingers through his hair. “Or fuck me. Whatever floats your boat.”
He laughs, lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the bed. “I want to love you, all over, like you deserve.”
I hold my arms up as he strips me of my shirt and bra, and then I watch, licking my lips as he removes his shirt and shoves his boxers down his legs. His cock is magnificent, wide and thick like every other part of his anatomy. I’m not sure what emotion he sees on my face, but he rounds the bed, sitting down beside me and taking my hand. “I’ll take care of you. I promise. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt. I’ll make this good for you.”
I lean up and kiss him slowly, and he crawls over me, careful not to press down all the way. Heat rolls off his body in waves, crashing into me and warming me all over. His mouth moves from my lips, blazing a trail down my neck, over my collarbone, and lower. He plucks at my nipples with his teeth, and my back arches off the bed. He soothes the sharp sting by rolling his tongue around my sensitive flesh while kneading my tits and pressing his hard-on against my pussy. I rock my hips up into him, needing him inside me now.
Surviving Amber Springs: A Stand-Alone Contemporary Romance Page 32
