“Thanks, and I’m okay.” I glance at the guys as I head into the room before I lose my nerve.
The guy sitting at the table looks like any normal college student. He’s wearing dark jeans, and a white Henley under an open checkered shirt. He looks up at me as I close the door and sit down, and it’s a little like looking at a ghost. His resemblance to his cousin Todd is quite remarkable.
“Thanks for agreeing to meet me. I wasn’t sure you would.” His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat.
I clasp my hands on my lap and school my features into a neutral line. “I’ve been searching for answers for years. You hold the remaining puzzle pieces in your hands. That’s the only reason I’m here.”
He nods. “I want to tell you how sorry I am, but sorry isn’t a strong enough apology.”
I’m not here to make him feel good about himself. “You can start by telling me how you came to be in that room and what part you played.”
He gulps. “My parents used to ship me to Aunt Gabrielle’s for two weeks every summer. I hated it and spent the weeks leading up to it in a state of pure fear. Todd was a horrible bully, and he made my life hell. It got worse as I got older.” A muscle pops in his jaw. “Those jerks he hung around with were like Todd’s clones, and they did anything he asked of them, without question. I’d seen them almost cross a line with girls before, but that night was the first time I realized they were monsters, predators of the worst kind.”
Unshed tears glisten in his eyes, but I keep a neutral expression on my face.
“They dragged me into the room and locked it. I was frozen on the spot as I watched them do that to you. I wanted to stop it. To scream for help. But I couldn’t do anything. The door was locked, and I knew they’d never let me leave, so I did the only thing I could think of. I slipped my cell out of my pocket and recorded it.”
My chest heaves, and blood thrums through my veins, but I force myself to keep steady. To hear him out.
“They didn’t notice. They were too high and too …” He trails off, pursing his lips. “Anyway, the point is, they didn’t know I was recording them. When they were finished, they tried to make me …” He looks away, shame washing over his features, and he doesn’t need to say it. “When I refused, they beat me up.”
If he expects any sympathy from me, he’s mistaken. “Why didn’t you come forward? If you had evidence and you hated him, why didn’t you do something about it?”
“Because he found out what I’d done before I could pluck up the courage to do the right thing, and he put me in the hospital when I refused to tell him where I was keeping the recording.”
“And what did he blackmail you with after that to buy your silence?” I ask, guessing that’s how it went down.
“He told me he’d tell my parents I was gay.” His cheeks turn fire-engine red. “Before I’d been pulled into the room with you, he’d set me up with this guy, and we’d done stuff. Then another guy had joined us, and it turned into a threesome.”
His entire face is flaming. “Turns out it was a setup. The guys were prostitutes Todd had paid to seduce me. When they came to get paid, they belittled me while Todd and his friends killed themselves laughing. As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, I found out days later that Todd had filmed the whole thing. He said if I released the video of you that he’d release the video of me.”
Neither of us says anything for a few beats. “I know you’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but Todd DeLaurentis was one sick, evil bastard,” I supply.
He bobs his head, and a look of abject sorrow splays across his face. “I wish I’d been brave enough to call his bluff, but I’d watched Todd get away with shit his whole life. His parents thought he walked on water, and I honestly believed he’d get away with it. But it tormented me. All the time. And I thought of you often. Then I heard they were doing it to other girls, and the guilt almost killed me. I stopped visiting his house the summer after tenth grade, and I tried to put it out of my mind, but it haunted me, until one night, when I reached breaking point.”
He pauses for a breath. “I sent it to your brother the night before the shooting. I thought if I sent it to him, he could make the decision I was too weak to make.” He leans in closer, his belly pressing into the edge of the table. “I would never have sent it to him if I thought he’d do that! I thought he’d go to the cops and the nightmare would end.” Tears glisten in his eyes. “Their blood is on my hands too.”
He doesn’t know how conflicted and tormented Ethan was. “No, it isn’t.” I don’t owe Denton anything, but too many mistakes have been made, and too many people are suffering because of that night.
It ends now.
“You might have helped set it in motion, but you didn’t shoot them. That was my brother’s choice. Not yours. And you’re going to pay penance for the part you played that night. That’s enough suffering. You need to forgive yourself and put it in the past. I know I’m going to.” I stand. I’ve said my piece and there’s nothing left to know.
I understand it all now.
For years, I drifted, like a lost soul at sea, craving rescue before I drowned in a pool of secrets, lies, and the unknown. The truth seemed like this vacuous, illusionary thing that was out of reach. It came with too much hurt and pain and I’d resigned myself to the fact the truth would have to remain buried.
But, eventually, the truth always finds a way to break free.
Releasing everyone from their suffering.
Epilogue
Blaire - Three Years Later
“What the hell are they doing in there?” I clamp my hands over my eardrums to protect them from the loud banging noises coming from the living room. Every so often, Heath curses and the hammering ceases only to start up again a few seconds later.
“It’s a surprise.” Ax is as informative as ever as he lifts another box off the ground and plonks it on the bed.
“I can’t believe we’re all finally here.” I flop down on the bed, sneaking a moment to take it all in.
The bed bounces as Ax jumps down beside me. “I know. It’s a little surreal.” In a superfast movement Flash Gordon would be proud of, he has me lifted and settled on top of him.
My knees fall on either side of his hips as I straddle him with an amused grin on my face. I lean down slowly, my chest skimming against his body as I line up our mouths. I press a sultry kiss to his lips, and he automatically hardens underneath me. “You want to christen the bedroom first, baby?”
He grabs my shoulders, flipping me over onto my back again. Then he stretches the length of his rocking body over me, thrusting his pelvis against mine. “I look forward to christening every room in our new house, but I don’t think the guys would be too pleased if I started right now and ruined the surprise.”
“We can be quick.” I slide my hand down the gap between our bodies, palming his erection through his jeans.
“You’re killing me here, baby.” He lowers his face to my neck, and his tongue darts out, running a line along my collarbone.
I shiver all over, still as turned on by him as I was at the very start. The same is true of Heath and Skeet. I’m incredibly attracted to all my guys and so very much in love with them.
Our love was truly put to the test after Denton told the world what’d happened to me and the real reason Ethan showed up to school with a gun that day. Intense national and international debate was sparked, dividing families, friends, and communities. Some came out in support of Ethan, claiming they’d do the same if anyone hurt their loved one, and that sparked angry outbursts and more heated debate on questions of morality, ethics, gun laws, and gun violence. Others denounced his actions, saying there was no justification for taking the law into his own hands even if they understood him a little better. Others sided with the victims and their families, refusing to believe the stories circulating about them.
Lucind
a gave an interview to Oprah Winfrey, sharing her years of abuse at the hands of the victims, and a record number of people tuned in to watch. Slowly, other girls came forward with similar stories of abuse.
My parents and I issued a joint statement at the start, shedding light on the Ethan we knew, but we kept it short and respectful and avoided getting drawn into any moral or ethical questions as well as avoiding direct discussion of the victims or what had been done to me. Since then, we have maintained a blanket silence despite intense media scrutiny.
I became a mini-celebrity on campus overnight, and my relationship with the guys was thrust into the spotlight. Not everyone approved, and we had a few tough months, but we weathered the storm together. We never faltered. Not once. And the bond we formed back in those days lay the foundations of the relationship we have today.
The last couple years have been amazing, and I can honestly say my college years have been some of the best years of my life. I worked extra hard to gain additional credits so I could graduate with the guys this past summer.
Heath was drafted by the Patriots, and he moved to Boston a few weeks ago. We had stayed behind, needing to wrap things up back in Florida and organize shipping of our stuff. We also attended Griff and Jacinta’s wedding, and Ax looked completely gorgeous in his tuxedo, sending my hormones into a tailspin.
It was great to catch up with Jacinta after all this time, and I’m so happy she and Ax’s brother finally realized they couldn’t live without one another and made it official. Their adorable one-year-old son Charlie was the cutest pageboy ever.
But we’re finally here. All together. In the house Heath bought for us to live in. And now the next chapter of our lives is set to begin.
Thanks to a high LSAT score, Ax was accepted into Harvard Law. His classes commence soon. He’s also due to start interning part-time in a prestigious law firm downtown. They’ve already agreed to take a look at his mother’s case, and he’s hopeful he can lodge an appeal to have her sentence overturned.
Skeet is in the process of setting himself up as a freelance technical consultant, and we’re transforming the spare bedroom into his office. I’m starting my new role in a victim support center in two weeks, and I’m exploring studying psychology part-time.
Everything has fallen into place for us, and I’ve finally laid the demons of my past to rest.
“We’re ready,” Skeet exclaims, popping his head through the door, instantly frowning.
While I’ve been having an intense conversation in my own head, Ax has been trailing a path of kisses up and down my body. I playfully shove him off me, jumping up and smoothing the wrinkles out of my clothes. “He’s insatiable.” I roll my eyes, fighting a smirk. “I told him it was a bad idea, but—” I shriek as Ax slaps me on the butt. Hard.
“Naughty, Blaire,” he whispers in my ear. “Very, very naughty. And you know what I do to girls who misbehave.”
My core pulses, my body humming in anticipation. I press a quick kiss to his cheek. “You can punish me later,” I whisper, already on a countdown. I skip over to Skeet and fling my arms around his neck. “Love you, babe.”
He melts against me, kissing me tenderly on the lips. “Love you too, beautiful. More and more each day.”
“Are you coming or what?” Heath calls out from the living room.
“Is it just me, or is he even more impatient since he became this big hotshot NFL commodity?” Ax asks, copping a cheeky feel of my ass as he brushes past me and Skeet.
“I heard that!” Heath roars, followed by a deliberately loud “asshole.”
“Now, now, boys,” I tease, dragging Skeet after Heath. “Play nice. This is our first day all together in our new home, and we need to make happy memories. Not spend it tossing insults at one another.” I fix a stern gaze on Ax and Heath. “Yes, I’m talking to you two.” I jab my finger in the air.
“Fuck, I love when you get all feisty,” Heath says, crossing the room and yanking me out of Skeet’s protesting arms. He crashes his mouth to mine, dipping me down low until my hair is trailing the ground and I’m giggling into his mouth.
“Stop trying to distract me,” I mumble in between kisses. “I want to see my surprise.” Heath straightens me up, holding me close to his chest, and I sense the silent conversation going on around me.
“You can turn around now,” Skeet says, and Heath wraps his arms around me, turning me in his embrace until I’m facing the fireplace and the massive picture taking center stage above it.
A sob tears from my mouth, but it’s a happy one. “How in the world …” I trail off, speechless for once in my life. I walk toward the familiar picture, reaching up and trailing my fingers across the image of Ethan and me. It’s a copy of the framed photo I have by my bedside, and it’s one of my happiest memories. We have our arms wrapped around one another, and we’re both laughing into the camera, an expression of sheer joy on both our faces. I place a hand on my chest, overcome with emotion.
“Are you okay, babe?” Skeet approaches with a slightly uneasy look on his face.
I smile through my tears, yanking him to me. “You did this?”
“We all did, beautiful. Your mom gave me the photo. Ax ordered it online, and then Heath collected it from the printers.”
“And I almost ruined my football career before it’s even begun helping this idiot hang it,” Heath adds, coming up alongside me.
“You know you’re more of a pussy than any girl I’ve ever known,” Ax half-jokes, appearing with a tray containing four glasses of champagne.
I broke my sobriety when I turned twenty-one. I’ll never be a big drinker, and I refuse to drink alcohol unless the guys are with me, but I like to indulge in the odd glass from time to time.
“Maybe, but you still love me.” Heath pouts, blowing Ax a kiss, and Skeet opens his mouth to speak, but he doesn’t get a chance.
“Don’t you fucking dare!” they both shout at the same time, and I laugh. Skeet has never let them forget the cuddling in the bed incident, and I swear he’ll still be teasing them about it when they’re old and gray.
Ax sets the tray down on the table as Heath dims the lights and turns on the sound system with the small remote in his hand.
This place is the height of modern sophistication. The lighting, sound system, alarm, heating, and blinds are all remote-control operated, and the guys were like big kids on Christmas morning when we first got here, testing out everything, at least a half-dozen times, to make sure it worked.
Skeet’s distinctive voice reverberates around the room as the song starts playing, and I arch a brow. “Is this something new?” I ask, not recognizing the words or the music.
“It is,” he says, looking uncharacteristically nervous as he stands beside Heath and Axel. “We wrote it together. For you.”
I open my mouth to speak, but I’m rendered speechless for the second time in minutes when all three of them drop to their knees in sync. Butterflies scatter in my chest. “What … what are you doing?”
“The day you came into our lives, you turned everything upside down,” Heath says, his eyes shining with more emotion than I’ve ever seen. “You made the impossible possible, and it didn’t take long for me to fall crazy, head over heels in love with you. You mean the whole world to me, Blaire, and I will never love anyone as much as I love you.”
Oh. My. Gawd. I press a hand to my mouth as the magnitude of the moment hits me.
“I was drawn to your light and your dark, and I’ve never shared such an intense connection with anyone before.” Ax is choked up, and I can tell he’s speaking from his heart. “You bring out the best in me, and you make me want to be a better man because I want to give you everything I can possibly offer. The love I feel for you is unsurpassed and infinite, and I will love you always and forever.”
Happy tears cascade down my face as I turn to Skeet. The song continues pl
aying in the background, and I’m overwhelmed and overjoyed.
“I fell in love with you the moment I saw you that night in the park. It was as if my entire future flashed in front of my eyes, and it was you. I’ve always known you were the other half of my heart, and this day couldn’t come fast enough for me. I have loved you every day since we met, and I will continue to love you until my dying breath.”
Together, they rise and approach me. “We love you more than life itself,” Heath says, caressing my cheek.
“We cannot ever imagine our lives without you in it,” Ax adds, running his hand around my waist.
“You complete us, Blaire,” Skeet says, producing a box and popping the lid. “Marry us, baby.”
I’m grinning like a maniac through my tears, and my gaze bounces between them. “I had lost my way until you three came bulldozing into my life. You saved me. In all the ways in which a girl can be saved. And you never gave up on me, even when I’d given up on myself. These last three years have been incredible, and nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my life with all of you.”
I hold out my hand, and Skeet slides the glistening diamond on my engagement finger. “Yes, I’ll marry you. A million times yes. Nothing would make me happier.”
I kiss and hug each one of them separately, and the amount of love in this room is enough to fuel a small planet.
We drink copious glasses of champagne as we make plans for our future. We’re not in any rush to the altar, so the wedding won’t be happening anytime soon. We agree Heath and I should be the ones to get legally married, as he has a public image to uphold, and it makes the most sense.
It doesn’t make any difference. We will all be married equally in our own hearts and minds, and our private commitment ceremony is the only ceremony that actually counts. That’s where the four of us will cement our bond and our union as equal life partners in front of our families.
Surviving Amber Springs: A Stand-Alone Contemporary Romance Page 36
