That had been the last incomplete update on her life. Trevor had called her home twice since that time, hoping by some miracle to get through to Whitney directly, but once again his efforts had been foiled by her father. Trevor had never heard from her or about her since that time.
And here Whitney sat back at this very camp as a counselor, talking calmly to another counselor?
Did Whitney have any idea of what had transpired in the past in relation to him? Trevor wondered almost angrily. Did she have any idea of the succession of endless days, the many hours of intense turmoil and bitter, gut-wrenching guilt that he had trudged through because of what had occurred? Did she care about what he’d experienced or what he’d gone through? What had their relationship meant to her in the past? Nothing? And if it had meant something, then why had she never tried to contact him and let him know about her well-being?
Trevor forced himself to concentrate on the task at hand and push the dark, troublesome thoughts from his mind. How would he get anything done these next few weeks if Whitney’s presence continued to distract him like it already had? He had to learn to somehow cope with having her around or he might end up taking a temporary leave of absence. He was not okay and he didn’t imagine he would be for quite some time.
The following day, the counselors and staff remained busy preparing for the influx of pre-teens that would be arriving the following morning for their two-week stay at camp. Whitney did her utmost to help as best as she could, even assisting Claire, the cook, organize some of the food shipments to get her ready for those two busy, hectic weeks. Claire remembered Whitney from when Whitney had worked at the camp and Claire filled her in on some of the newest changes to the camp—the most-recent additions of the enlarged pool and hot tub and the plans for the expansion of the recreation room. Though the cook had known of Whitney’s and Trevor’s relationship in the past, she wisely kept Trevor’s name out of any of the informative gossip.
Whitney and her roommate, Jenny, had afterward stayed busy preparing some of the crafts the kids would be completing. They then sifted through the seemingly endless mounds of bows and arrows, trying to ready them for their continual use by repairing some and throwing others away.
Something about the busyness and clamor of the day somehow began to thaw a part of Whitney’s numbed heart. It had been a long time since she had been a part of a dynamic, energetic group like this. No wonder she’d had many fond memories of this place; no wonder the camp and the people had drawn her back. She had needed something like this in her life again—to start living again, to start feeling alive once more.
By late afternoon, as some of the preparations were dying down and the camp had settled into more of a subdued hum, Whitney tried to gather her courage to do what she knew she needed to do before more time passed. She knew she needed to approach Trevor Matthews and let him know that she had come back as a counselor. Whitney had felt certain that she would run into him some time during the day but once again, she had not seen him.
Whitney went to her cabin to freshen up briefly, adding a bit of color to her continually-pale pallor and working a brush through her long, dark hair before making her way over to the weather-beaten cabin that housed Trevor Matthew’s office. The sun shone brightly overhead, making her more hot and uncomfortable than she already felt as she traversed the well-worn path that led to the cabin. She wished the heat could have been dissipated by the few cottony clouds that dotted the deep blue sky above her. She didn’t need anything more to add to the burning emotions coursing inside her as she faced this long-anticipated errand.
Despite the thousands of times Whitney had practiced what she might possibly say to Trevor Matthews when she first saw him again, those lengthy rehearsals seemed to abruptly flee from her mind as she quietly knocked on the rickety cabin door and stood waiting outside. Her heart pounded frantically against her ribs, making her almost lightheaded. She took in a calming, fortifying breath, trying to subdue her intense emotions.
Whitney had almost decided Trevor might not be there and had turned to go when a distracted “Come in” sifted through the closed door. Whitney clenched one fist by her side as the other grasped the doorknob to open it. She entered the sunlit room, brushing her clammy hands on her jeans as she did.
Whitney had once been intimately familiar with every defined line of Trevor Matthew’s dark, handsome features, but even her memory seemed to fail her as she faced him in the small, sunlit room. Trevor had changed more than she had expected he would. His decisive jaw line and the deep lines in his face were more pronounced, almost as if he carried a seriousness and soberness she had not remembered seeing in him before. Even his deep brown eyes and the probing gaze that rested immediately on her features seemed different—almost hardened and distrustful, in some ways.
To her surprise, Trevor’s dark brown eyes only widened slightly as he noticed her standing in the doorway, as if he wasn’t surprised to see her. His steady gaze didn’t falter. “Whitney,” Trevor’s deep voice greeted her in a slow, controlled monotone as he immediately set the stacks of papers he had been holding back down on his desk. “Come in.” For some strange reason, he remained calm and unmoved while her heart hammered unremittingly in her chest.
“Hi, Trevor,” Whitney greeted him as she shakily walked closer to his desk, clasping her hands together in front of her to hide their slight trembling. She lifted her hands once briefly to carefully brush a few strands of hair that had blown into her face from the oscillating fan moving back and forth on his desk but then she quickly clasped them together again. “It’s been a long time.”
“It has been,” Trevor answered slowly, watching her carefully.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Whitney continued, trying to appear as composed as possible as her dark eyes flitted uncomfortably about his face.
“You’re not interrupting,” Trevor said as he indicated the canvas chair across from him with a large, tanned hand. “Please have a seat.”
For a moment, Trevor seemed intent on getting up to help her but Whitney stopped him with a slight shake of her head. “No. Please don’t. I’m fine,” she said as she moved toward the chair and sat down, curling her brows in continued embarrassment. “After the accident, everyone seems to think I need more help than I do. I know I look weak but I’m fine. I’m a lot stronger than I used to be and that says a lot.” Whitney suddenly glanced squarely at him, knitting her dark, thin brows in confusion. “It’s strange but I didn’t expect your calm reaction to suddenly seeing me back at camp. You don’t seem as shocked as I imagined you’d be.”
Trevor eyed her steadily, his dark gaze not dropping from hers. “I would have been surprised but I had some forewarning that you’d come back. Kyle Fisher dropped by my office after he had seen you yesterday morning at the counselor’s meeting. He let me know that you were here.”
“It was Kyle,” Whitney countered, nodding in understanding. “I see. I had seen Kyle from a distance but we hadn’t spoken to each other. I wasn’t sure if he remembered me.”
“He remembers you,” came Trevor’s unemotional reply.
There was an awkward, tension-filled silence that followed. Whitney dropped her eyes from Trevor’s steady gaze, concentrating on her pale fingers as she nervously wrung them together in her lap. Why did he seem almost impatient with her? Why did it seem that he wanted nothing more than for her to leave? “This is really uncomfortable for me and I’m sorry if I’m making it uncomfortable for you but I felt I needed to drop by to explain the reasons why I’ve decided to return to camp. I know I didn’t talk to you about my coming back…”
“No,” Trevor interrupted her brusquely. “You didn’t talk to me at all about you coming back here. I had no idea that you intended to return.”
The sharp, disgruntled tone completely startled her. Whitney lifted her eyes and stared at him, taken aback. For a moment, it made her lose whatever courage she had. She bit her lip in troubled reaction as she tried to regain
her composure. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my plans,” she quietly apologized. “It was sudden for me and sudden for everyone involved. If you knew what I went through to get here, if you knew why I felt I needed to come back…” She abruptly stopped as she pressed her face into her upturned hands, feeling hopelessly self-conscious. She shouldn’t have said anything. She shouldn’t have come. She should have never dropped by his office like this. Trevor didn’t want her here; she could tell. He didn’t want her anywhere near this place and he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. “Listen—I feel pathetic sitting here trying to explain myself and my choices to you. I’m sorry I interrupted your day and I’m sorry I surprised you by my sudden return. Perhaps we can talk another time when it won’t be such an imposition. I apologize for barging in here like this and I apologize for interrupting. I won’t intrude on your time again.” She stood to leave but Trevor immediately raised his tanned hand to stop her.
“Wait. Don’t go, Whitney. Wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to sound as angry as I did,” Trevor quickly apologized. “This whole thing has been unexpected for me and I’m trying to understand what’s going on. I haven’t seen or heard from you since the accident.”
“I know you haven’t,” Whitney acknowledged, still distressed. “I probably should have handled the situation differently but I didn’t. I just submitted my application, interviewed over the phone and came here the second I found out I could. I intended several times to contact you and let you know about my plans but I’d lose my courage. I didn’t know what to say to you or how to approach you and explain the situation. I had hoped seeing you face to face might help so I waited until I could speak to you in person. I didn’t mean to upset you by my suddenly coming back like this. I’m sorry if I have. I never wanted for that to happen. Please believe me.”
The silence settled about them once again. Whitney could see that Trevor’s features had softened somewhat after her explanation and that he eyed her, if not compassionately, at least with more patience. “How have you been?” Trevor finally asked. “It’s been at least two years since I’ve seen you.”
“I’m doing well,” Whitney immediately answered, trying to forward his attempt at conversation. “I’m getting stronger—much stronger—than I used to be. It has been a day-to-day struggle for the most part but I’m finally getting my energy back more to the level I used to have. It feels good to function better.”
“Have you been working?”
“I have been,” Whitney said, nodding, “but that doesn’t say much. I worked for a year at this stifling, little two-man office close by my Dad’s. It was boring and monotonous work—answering phones, filling in lengthy reports, doing lots and lots of filing. To be honest, I felt like I was slowly wasting away to nothing.” She glanced at Trevor once again. “I missed this place—the action, the people, the mountains—everything about it. That’s why I felt I needed to come and get my life back on track. I needed this place in my life to start living again. I hope this doesn’t sound as crazy to you as it does to me when I say it out loud but that’s why I came.” Whitney knew her reasoning sounded hollow—superficial, impetuous, almost foolhardy—but she could never share the deeper, more weighty reasons why she’d come to this place. Trevor could never know the truth—the reality of what he had once meant to her and how she wanted and needed to somehow put their past to rest in order to move on with her life. “How have you been?” she finally questioned.
“I’ve been fine.”
“You’ve been at camp this whole time?”
“I have been.”
“And your family?” Whitney continued. “How are they?”
“They’re doing well,” Trevor said. “They often ask about you.”
Whitney immediately brightened. “Do they? I miss them. I miss seeing them. And your sister, Gina? How is she?”
“She’s got one more year of college and then she’s done,” Trevor said.
“Wow. She was barely getting started when I knew her,” Whitney remembered, shaking her head in disbelief. “Now she’s almost graduated. Sometimes I have to come face to face with how much time I’ve missed out on during these last two years. I don’t want to miss out on anymore. I’m not going to let my life keep slipping by me like it has been.” Whitney glanced at Trevor after she had spoken. She didn’t know what it was but the discomfort that had plagued him earlier had all but faded from his features. His rigid posture had relaxed and he looked at her with more gentleness than she’d yet seen in him. “How are your parents?” Whitney asked.
“They’re doing well,” Trevor answered. “They finally moved into the condo they always wanted.”
“Did they? I know your Mom looked forward to less yard and housework,” Whitney remembered.
“She’s already said she’s never moving,” Trevor told her.
Whitney smiled at that. She would have continued speaking but they were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Trevor glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry to interrupt this but I had a meeting with Kyle Fisher this afternoon. We have a few camp issues we have to work through before tomorrow’s session.”
Whitney instantly stood, blushing slightly as she did. “I did interrupt. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take so much of your time.”
“You haven’t,” Trevor said, his tone becoming almost reassuring. “I hope we have the chance to speak again sometime soon.”
Whitney nodded awkwardly. “I hope we do, too,” she replied. She turned to walk away, murmuring an affected “hi” to Kyle on her way out.
As Whitney walked toward her cabin, she decided she hadn’t needed to add any color to her cheeks before she’d come. She could feel her face burn with an intense inward heat, a heat she felt certain would have made her face a bright, glowing crimson.
Chapter Three
Trevor Matthews walked down the rocky trail toward the pristine waters of the lake, watching the bright, multi-colored rowboats sprinkled over the glassy green expanse. The laughter and boisterous camaraderie of the scattered groups echoed against the surrounding hills, blending with the sound of chirping birds and the hum of active insects around him.
It had been four busy days since the new group’s arrival—fifty rambunctious twelve-year-olds from Bryson Academy who had been more than ready for their annual camping experience. Trevor usually enjoyed the steady, unending bustle of morning-to-night activities at the camp when they were here but he could not ignore his continual distraction with the other events that had unexpectedly resurfaced in his life. He had not talked to Whitney during those four days, not since the day she had come to see him in his office. But he had seen her occasionally and had watched her from a distance with unmitigated interest, still trying to understand the purpose behind her return.
Whitney seemed content. If Trevor had to guess, he would say she seemed happy. She remained involved and active, especially with her new roommate, Jenny Cantwell. Was she completely at ease or was she as preoccupied with his presence as he had become with hers? Had she easily dismissed their past relationship as easily as she had cut off their association, or did she still think about what had happened between the two of them as continually as he did?
Trevor walked toward the dock where Kyle Fisher stood, surveying the active participants before him. Kyle’s camp cap had once again been propped back on his head and it was not doing much to shield his sunburned features from the overhead rays. Kyle supervised the activities at camp and made sure that each group of kids, with their assigned counselors, made it to their various activities in a timely fashion throughout the day. Trevor approached him, suddenly noticing that Whitney and Jenny had been assigned to the group on the water before them.
Whitney sat with a skinny, red-haired boy and two young girls as they raced a nearby foursome who were trying to beat them to some distant spot on the lake, laughing and yelling as they did. Since Whitney’s arrival, her face had darkened somewhat, helping her lose some of the paleness that Tre
vor had seen in her earlier and giving her complexion a more healthy glow. She seemed involved as she enjoyed her young, energetic companions.
“How’s it going?” Trevor questioned Kyle as they stood looking outward toward the lake. “Everything running smoothly?”
“Yes,” Kyle answered, nodding, “except that Mindi Garrett mentioned that she has a couple of troublemakers she can’t quite keep in line. They’re two young boys—twins—who don’t seem to want to cooperate or be involved in anything they’re doing. Didn’t Whitney use to handle the troublemakers for you?”
“She did,” Trevor acknowledged.
“Do you think she’d be willing to try it again? Mindi’s not too happy with her situation and she’d like to see if she can pawn those two off on another group as soon as she possibly can.”
Trevor shrugged in uncertainty. “I don’t know if Whitney’s up to it. What do you think? How is she doing?”
Kyle glanced at Whitney for a few seconds as she sat in the boat, watching her steadily, his gaze unreadable. “She seems fine,” Kyle remarked distantly. “Sometimes I forget she even left this place. She remembers rotations and stays on top of the schedule. She seems to keep up with the kids, too. I figured she might struggle with that but she hasn’t. She doesn’t seem to struggle with anything.” Despite his cool demeanor, there was still a hint of resentment in his deep voice as he spoke about Whitney.
“Do she and Jenny have a good group this go-round?” Trevor questioned. “Could they handle a couple more?”
“I’m going to go ahead and give the twins to Whitney,” Kyle decided out loud. “It’s worth keeping Mindi off my back anyway.” He glanced sideways at Trevor. “How are you handling having Whitney back? Have you spoken to her at all since the day she came to your office?”
“I haven’t,” Trevor said.
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