by Willow Aster
But the first chance I got, I left and put my wig on in the car, buying several tests at the pharmacy furthest from the house. I took the test and stared at it the whole time, amazed by how quickly it said positive.
I laughed and cried and laughed some more. Then panicked and cried and laughed and panicked.
Jadon’s baby.
If I didn’t do one thing right again for the rest of my life, knowing I am carrying Jadon’s baby feels like the most perfect thing I’ve ever done. It would still feel that way if I weren’t terrified of losing this baby.
I’ve been in a secluded room, who knows where, waiting to face my fate.
I’ve underestimated my father.
And now that he knows he underestimated me, he’s not going easy on me anymore.
He was on me before I could reach the car as I ran out of the chapel, his hand squeezing my neck and a gun digging in my back. All the guards surrounded Caulder and Avaban and didn’t seem to notice that my father was leading me to the landing, either that or they chose to ignore it and let my father punish me as he saw fit. The plane was ready to take off, with a pilot on board who didn’t acknowledge that my father had a gun to my back.
Once on the plane, he blindfolded me and cuffed me to the chair in the front of the plane. He didn’t say a word, but I heard every sigh, every flick of his hand as he tapped faster and faster on the window. His rage was palpable.
I fell asleep while we were flying and then was tossed in a car and driven for about an hour. I was led inside and cuffed to a metal bed then left alone for what seemed like forever.
I fell asleep again and when I woke up, the blindfold was off.
All I’ve seen so far are white walls, white sheets…it’s very sterile.
I put my hands over my stomach and pray to the gods of all the kingdoms. Lord, please let this baby live.
I start to drift off again, the feel of Jadon’s hands on me all I can think about. I close my eyes and feel his chest against my back, his legs entwined with mine as we fell asleep. I thought I would be by his side by the time this night was over, lying like spoons in that way that is so comforting, but I’m alone again…only this time, I know I’m not really alone.
I have his baby growing inside of me and that is everything.
I smile against my pillow. My father thinks he can beat me in this, that I will cave the first moment he exerts his authority on me, but now that I know I’m pregnant, the mother of all dragons is rising up in me.
I will watch my father burn before bowing down.
Out of the flames, the diamond is born.
Out of the ashes, fear is buried and life rises up.
I laugh out loud and it sounds loud in the empty room, but it fills me up. I shiver and get lower under the covers, resting for now so I’ll be ready to fight later.
When I wake up next, I stretch, my arms flailing over my head. My hand hits the metal headboard and I flinch, but then it clatters to the floor and I sit up, looking back to see what happened. One of the posts is on the floor and I look down the hollowed metal. There’s something on one side of the bottom, a little two-inch strip of metal and I try to squeeze my hand down there to get it out. I have to get out of bed and pull the bed away from the wall, which takes more strength than I have for the first five minutes. It’s heavy. Tired and a little dizzy, I give up moving the whole bed and just go to the corner where the post fell off. I put it back on and stare at the strip of metal. It’s pointy and sharp. Could it hurt someone? I prick my finger and blood forms immediately. Okay, this could be useful. I bend down to pick up the metal post and see something on the wall that catches my eye. Tiny slashes.
Curious now, I put all my strength in moving just that one corner of the bed and when I get it back far enough, I drop the metal and rub my fingers over the wall. In tiny print, someone has etched into the wall. It’s a white wall and the etching is not very deep, so I have to get closer to make out what it says. I get on the floor and lean as close as I can get.
It says: Help me.
And then in smaller marks, it says: Kathryn Safrin was kidnapped and held here.
Underneath that are the lines and I realize it was the length of time…or at least the length of time she was able to etch in. I count each line and there are twenty-six.
Kathryn Safrin was held here for twenty-six days? I sit on the floor, shaking. How far will my father go to get what he wants? How many sins has he committed against the Safrins? Against countless other people?
When I start shivering uncontrollably, I get up and try to get the bed back to where it was, holding the metal piece close as I crawl under the covers. Is my father leaving me here to die or does he have some sort of other torture in mind for me?
My stomach growls. Once the shaking stops and I’m warmed up, I get up again and start pounding on the door.
“Papa!” I yell.
“Papa…I need to talk to you.”
“Papa! I’m hungry.”
“I’m sorry, Papa. I don’t know what I was thinking. None of it was true about the baby. I just wanted to get out of marrying Xang. It’s true he’s having a fling with Caulder though.” I laugh, thinking about them in prison. Maybe they can be in the cell together at least…that’s one way to see if a relationship is going to work.
I cackle for a while over that.
It’s silent.
“I’m sorry. Please let me out of here. I’ll do whatever you want.”
The door cracks open and my father steps in.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jadon
Kathryn hugs Ava and Eden and then looks at me, her smile timid. There’s an awkward moment for everyone as she looks at my bruised face but doesn’t say anything.
“It’s good to see all of you,” she says.
It’s the nicest she’s been while in solitude—really the nicest she’s ever been to me, including her apology the last time—and I appreciate the fact that she’s trying.
“How are you feeling, Mother?” Ava asks.
“I’m feeling more myself every day. I think I’ve been back to normal for a long time, but it took a while.” She glances at me out of the corner of her eye and I look down at the table, picking up a chess piece and rolling it around in my hand. “While we’re all here together, I’d like to say something. I told Jadon the last time he was here, but I would like to apologize to all of you. I’ve never been fair to your brother, never treated him with the love and compassion he deserved. There’s a reason I’m in here, and I will regret my choices for the rest of my life. I’d rather die myself than see any hurt come to you, Jadon. I want all of you to know that. And I’m okay if I stay in here forever. I don’t deserve your trust.”
We all stare at her and Eden is the first to respond.
“Thank you, Mother. I don’t know what to say to all that just yet, but I, for one, am glad to hear that you’re finally acknowledging how awful you’ve been to Jadon. He’s our family, he’s the king of this monarchy…and he’s not going anywhere.” Her eyes fill with tears when she says the last part. “Although, he sure gave us a huge scare over the past few days.”
“I can see something has been going on.” Kathryn reaches out and touches my face, just under a cut. My heart quickens, that steady craving for a mother’s love still tucked away inside. “What happened?”
“Caulder Farthing and—”
“Caulder?” She makes a face. “Who is he in relation to Vance?”
“You’ve never heard of Caulder?” Ava asks.
“I don’t think so.”
Ava opens her phone and pulls up the picture of Caulder I sent to her. When Kathryn sees it, she pales and her hand shakes.
“Kathryn?”
“I saw him…he came to the place.” She looks at Ava with wild eyes, the fear in her voice undeniable. “He was there. Where we were kept.”
“You’re sure?” Ava asks. “Because I never saw him, not once.”
Kathryn nods, pointing
at the picture. She puts a hand to her throat and then her head drops into her hands as she weeps. Kathryn is a lot of things, but she is not overly dramatic. Unused to this display from her, Ava and Eden gather around her, rubbing her back and trying to soothe her.
“He’s evil,” she whispers over and over. She rocks back and forth and when Eden finally wraps her arms around her, she quietens and the shaking eventually stops.
“I’m sorry to bring up bad memories, but did he ever say anything to you?” I ask. “Do you know what he was planning?”
“It was all about bringing an end to your reign,” she says quietly. “He has a…brutal temperament. He was the one who started my brainwashing, and when I wouldn’t cooperate at first, he—” she sobs into Eden’s shoulder again, “—is he the one who did this to you?”
“He’s played a hand in all of it. I hardly know where he begins and Vance ends. The two of them are still a puzzle to me, and add Titus Catano to the mix, and we have a clusterfuck of huge proportion.” I put a hand through my hair and tug. “Do you remember anything about the place? Anything at all that you may have forgotten to tell me?” I look at Kathryn and then Ava. They both look at me, deep in thought. “We know it wasn’t that far from Yuman. But if there’s a sound you remember, a smell…any details on the walls or the furniture…”
“The bedroom I was in was so stark. There was a metal bed. I remember the metal was oddly heavy for a piece of furniture. And it was a metal we don’t have here in Farrow. Not foolproof though—one of the posts fell off.”
“Can you describe it?”
“It had square posts and was so heavy. Underneath the white paint, it was the color of pewter...”
“Okay. Anything else?”
“I remember when I was let go, I thought I smelled a paper mill nearby.”
“I didn’t know what that smell was,” Ava says, crinkling her nose. “It smelled awful.”
I lean forward. “You haven’t said anything about that before now.
“I don’t think you would’ve ever smelled one, Ava,” Kathryn adds. “Paper mills are a thing of the past, and it probably wasn’t that at all, but that’s what it smelled like.”
“We’ll look into this. This is really helpful, Kathryn. Anything else at all?”
She shakes her head sadly and reaches out her hand for me to take. “I want to help, Jadon. Anything at all.”
I nod and squeeze her hand before standing up. “Thank you. I’ll let you all visit while I discuss this with our team.”
I hustle back to the house and Luka and Gentry are deep in discussion in my office, looking at a screen that shows the Farthing grounds.
“Anything new?”
“The team who’s been scouring the house should be here within the hour,” Gentry says. “I spoke with Alex and he asked that I let you know he’s willing to do whatever he can to help. He’s got King Shua on his back about throwing Solvang in prison, so it sounds like that’s something that will have to be dealt with shortly.”
I groan. “I miss King Otto. These kids of his are turning out to be a huge problem. We have a pause on the war with the Farthings…I don’t want to wage war with the Ottos in the meantime. Ask Alex to do his best to keep the peace until we can figure this out with Delilah.”
Gentry nods. “Will do.”
“You getting along better with your brother these days?” I ask. I rub the lines between my brows. Thinking about Alex gives me a perpetual scowl.
“Alex is an arrogant bastard, but he’s pretty cool too,” Gentry says. “Why do you ask?”
“I’m furious at him for not getting Delilah out of the castle when he had the chance…but I went to get her and the same thing happened, so I have to stop blaming him.”
Gentry laughs. “No, he could stand a few people giving him shit. The guy’s been handed the silver platter all his life. Could be knocked down a peg or two and still be just fine.”
I laugh and pound Gentry on the back. “Thank you for bringing my sister to see me. She knows how to cheer my spirits.”
“Wouldn’t think of trying to contain her. She found out you were hurt and would’ve murdered me if I didn’t bring her right away.”
I chuckle and stop when my ribs protest. “Kathryn and Ava said something about the place they were kept. I’d like to look into it. Kathryn said it smelled like a paper mill when she left the place. Do you know of anything like that…you know where Ava was found…anything in the hundred-mile radius that could fit?”
“The Sulphur Springs!” He slams his hand on the table. “Not too far from where I grew up. We didn’t usually go there because of the smell…there were nicer springs closer. But yeah, wouldn’t be far from Yuman…”
I nod. “We’ll need to get a team there right away, see if we can find this compound. Maybe it will lead us straight to Delilah.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jadon
The team arrives, looking a bit haggard but happy with their results. They found Caulder’s stash of poisoning supplies in a locked safe in his room. They torched the safe and managed to save the evidence. They also brought all the computers they could find and a team immediately combs those in search of clues on where Delilah could be.
A drone flies over the Sulphur Springs and we all watch from various locations. Gentry offered to go to his parents’ house, so he’d be close if we found anything, but I ended up getting over myself and asking Alex to watch from Yuman…that’s still close enough that a team could reach her quickly, if Delilah is found there. It’s unlikely she’d be in the same place Ava and Kathryn were, but I don’t know of any other options just yet. We’ll be searching their computers to find out if it leads us to the Farthing safe houses. There’s never been even a hint of the whereabouts of any one of their safe houses over the years, so I’m not counting on finding it, at least not as soon as I’d like.
Luka is staying a little longer, but he has been running the daily meetings with the monarchies I’ve dealt with before now. Everyone keeps griping at me to slow down and let my body heal, but I’m too antsy to be still for too long. I do let Luka do what he can though, and Basile has tended to me almost as much as my sisters. He’s still mourning over Chelsea’s disappearance, and I hear him telling Ava that he regrets not telling her how he really felt.
I don’t want to live with that regret. I hope against all hope for another chance to let Delilah know what she’s done to me, the way she’s wrecked my heart beyond all repair. How I don’t want to be sane or whole or even breathing…if it means a life without her in it.
Could she really be carrying my child? In the quiet moments between barely cognizant and sleep, I allow myself to entertain the possibility. The thought of a child with Delilah squeezes my heart so tight, it hurts. It’s not wise to get my hopes up, but they’re still way, way up. To the ceiling, up.
I want this baby as much as I want Delilah.
Mid-afternoon, I get a call from Alex. He sounds more excited than I’ve ever heard him.
“Are you watching the feed? I think we found a possible place,” he says.
“I’d just stepped away…one sec, let me get back to my office.” I hurry and Luka is already at the door, ready to walk out.
“I was just coming to get you. Come look at this.”
“Alex, I’m putting you on speakerphone. You there still?”
“I’m here.”
Luka and I walk to the screens and there’s a building tucked between trees. Luka points to it. “This isn’t on any of the city plans. I think we should send a team in.”
“I’ve got a team on standby, you say the word and we’re going in,” Alex says.
“Consider this the word,” I tell him. “Let me know as soon as you know something.”
“Done,” he says and hangs up.
I watch the screen obsessively and nearly pull out my hair while we wait. And wait. And wait.
“Why is it taking so long?”
We saw the group
of a dozen men surround the building and then work their way inside at least half an hour ago. But all is quiet.
I call Alex. “Why is it so quiet?”
“I haven’t been able to get through since they entered the building. My guess is they lost all service. It’s probably a dead zone, right?”
We both see it at the same time and I yell, while Alex lets out a long string of curses. Luka hits the table next to me and I stare at the screen in shock. The building explodes into a pile of smoke and the fire catches onto the trees, instantly spreading, multiplying with every second.
“Fuck me,” I whisper.
Silently, I plead with the gods of all the kingdoms.
Please don’t let Delilah have been there.
Please.
I bury my head in my hands and feel like my world has just ended.
It takes me a while to remember Alex and when I do, I feel worse. “Alex, I’m so sorry about your men.”
“They went in knowing something like this could happen,” his voice breaks. “I just hope she wasn’t there.”
But the likelihood that she was seems even stronger now, like her father wasn’t willing for either of them to live if it meant all their truths would come to light.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Delilah
“Where are we going?” I ask, racing to keep up with my father as we run through the woods.
My father ignores me then takes out a device and pushes a button. He yanks my arm harder and I try to run faster. A few seconds later, I hear an explosion that sends me to my knees.
The slap I feel across my face stuns me and I reel back, staring up at my father. A stranger. He doesn’t even look like the same man in this moment; his eyes are crazed and he’s practically spitting at me.
