The part of him that didn’t want to be involved told him to leave her alone to lick her wounds. She didn’t want or need him there. And he didn’t want to be so involved in anyone’s life.
But then her tears started to fall and he couldn’t leave her. He had the strangest urge to take all her pain and make it his, so she wouldn’t have to hurt this way.
He stood, though she didn’t seem to notice. Removing the flowery apron he’d been wearing, he stepped behind her and wrapped her in a hug, leaning over her, sheltering her. He kissed the top of her head and told her she needed to cry.
Her cheek rested on his arm and her tears flowed, dampening his skin. She sobbed, heaving as the emotions rolled through her body.
“I don’t like to cry,” she sobbed.
“I know. Men and tears, the enemies.”
She laughed a little and more tears fell. “I didn’t expect it to hurt this much.”
“I understand.” He remembered watching his mom drive away when he was a little boy. He’d been fending for himself for as long as he could remember, but still, she’d been his mom.
“I’ve been telling myself for years that their rejection didn’t matter. After all, I have the best thing in the world. I have Allie. She’s beautiful, funny, smart. She’s everything.”
“I agree. And I’m not even much of a kid person.”
She glanced up with tear-filled eyes. “You keep telling yourself that and someday you might believe it.”
“Where is her dad?” he asked.
“Long story short, I went through a rebellious period at eighteen and he managed to convince me that we were in love. That love resulted in me unlocking the church for him to steal money for us to run away together. We were going to California to have Allie. My parents stopped us. They sent him away and shipped me off to my aunt Evelyn. Later he was arrested for armed robbery of a convenience store and went to prison.”
“Not a nice guy.” Isaac stated the obvious.
His arms were still around her and her hands had moved to hold them close. He should disengage. She would regret this later, telling him secrets, letting him hold her. He’d regret it, too, because it exposed something inside him that he hadn’t expected to feel.
He wanted to hold her a little longer.
He wanted to tell her she was worth more. He wanted to tell her that what her father said or did wasn’t important. She was important. Her child was worth everything.
Not his problem, he told himself. He shouldn’t be involved. He was the last person anyone needed to count on. He remembered all too well, in those first years, counting on Jack. He remembered being a kid and listening to Jack as the nightmares and the flashbacks had him in their grip.
Isaac would never put a woman or child through that torment.
He unwound his arms from her shoulders and she let him go, her hands sliding slowly from his biceps as he disengaged.
She looked up at him through teary eyes. Her lids were puffy and her hair framed her face, sticking to her cheeks. He pushed the tear-dampened strands from her face, tucking them behind her ear.
At that moment she needed reassurance. She needed a friend who would say and do the right thing. And he was a sorry excuse for a friend because he wanted to hold her again. Wanted to brush his lips across hers and inhale the sweet scent of roses and springtime.
Taking in a breath, he managed to get hold of himself. He squatted in front of her at eye level. Her gaze locked with his.
“I’m not an expert on all things spiritual.”
She groaned, but he held up a hand and continued, “It’s easy to walk away from God and church when the pain comes from inside those walls, inflicted by the very people who should show us love and compassion. Mercy. The world is filled with casualties, walking wounded, the people like you who want nothing to do with God, with church, because someone hurt them. I’m just asking you to seek God. Let Him touch your life and take some of this pain.”
Her eyes fluttered closed as she nodded. He nearly ran his hand through her honey-blond hair, but he stopped himself in time.
“I’m not sure if I can,” she answered honestly. “I’ve been angry for so long.”
“I get that,” he told her as he straightened. “I’ve been there.”
“Have you?” She paused. “Care to share?”
“I’d rather not. At least not right now.”
Her head cocked to the side. “That isn’t fair, is it? You know my stories. But I don’t know yours.”
“I don’t have stories. Not really.”
“Really?” she asked. “I find that hard to believe. Your mother left you with Jack when you were a little boy, not much older than Allie is now.”
“Yeah, but I was used to fending for myself.”
“You were a child,” she pressed.
“Never,” he said, with a teasing smile.
She studied him for a moment, appearing ready to argue. Instead of asking more questions, she glanced around the salon. “I’m done crying. I have a business to open. And I plan to have it ready to go in two weeks.”
“That’s an ambitious goal.”
“I know.” Her blue eyes lit up with mirth. “But with your help it should be doable.”
With his help. That put him front and center in her life.
He took the paintbrush and allowed her to put him to work. The job gave him something to focus on. Something other than her springtime scent and the memory of the tears that had spilled from her eyes.
Chapter Six
She had dark hair, dark eyes, a sad smile. She always appeared to be hungry. So they fed her. They called her Sally, because her name was foreign to their American tongues, and they gave her toys. Isaac ordered her a doll and when it arrived he wrapped it in purple paper, the color she seemed to like the most.
For several days she didn’t come around. None of them had time to go hunting for a child who didn’t seem to belong to anyone. And then they saw her. She slipped down the street, peering back at them as if she couldn’t escape fast enough.
They heard the gunfire. They yelled at her to stop. She kept running, running. And then the world exploded around them. The last time he saw her, she was falling. Screaming. He hadn’t been able to help.
Isaac sat up in a cold sweat, his heart racing. He sat for a moment, listening. No one came running. The house was silent. Joe would have earplugs in. The others were probably lost in their own nightmares. He got up and walked to the window. The gray light of early morning was creeping across the eastern horizon.
After a few minutes he shrugged into a jacket, pulled on his boots and headed downstairs. He needed work to get his mind off the nightmare. And coffee. Thanks to a timer, the coffee maker had started and the pot was half-filled. He poured a cup and headed out the back door.
There were lights on in the main house. Jack lived there alone, but Maria, the housekeeper and cook, showed up early every morning. She spoiled Jack. Isaac figured she was half in love with the old coot, the way she looked out for him. Jack seemed oblivious. Someone ought to point it out to him before he broke her heart. Or wasted the years he had left, alone and with a good woman right under his nose.
Not that Isaac was bent on matchmaking. He wouldn’t want anyone trying to arrange his life that way. Some people were better left alone with their nightmares.
The cup of coffee steamed in the cool morning air. Christmas was less than four weeks away and even if it wasn’t beginning to look a lot like Christmas, it sure felt like it. They needed trees.
He sipped his coffee and contemplated the holidays with a child at the ranch. Children. Carson and Kylie’s two, Maggie and Andy, would be there. Isaac kind of enjoyed the uncle gig. He spoiled them and sent them home. Maybe Colt and Daisy would even stop by. Nah, that would never happen. His half siblings were a pretty angry bunc
h.
They would include Allie if she and her mother were still at the ranch.
“What’s got you looking so serious?”
The question startled him and he nearly spilled his coffee. He glanced back at the woman coming down the sidewalk in her wheelchair.
“Good morning, Evie. What are you up to?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” she said, refraining from reminding him that she didn’t like to be called Evie.
He grinned, ignoring the fire in her eyes.
“I’m heading to the barn. I’ve got a mare that looks like she might foal in the next few days. I’m also going to work with my mare.”
Eve rolled to a stop, her hands resting on the wheels of her chair. “You’re not good at this.”
“At what?”
“At pretending you’re not distracted. And only one thing—or two—have changed around here in the past week.”
“You’re barking up the wrong tree.” Speaking of barking, he needed to talk to Kylie about the dog, Jersey. He should have done that before he offered the animal to Allie.
“Okay, we can play the game your way. You’re not interested. You still have the rule about no long-term relationships.”
“You’re still meddling in my business and you need to concern yourself with your own life. How are the folks?”
“That’s a low blow.”
He sighed and pushed his hat back. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Her relationship with her parents was her own business. And then there was the fiancé she’d broken up with.
“Stop. I don’t want to discuss my life or yours.” She pushed her chair forward again. “Oh, one thing. Have you talked to your aunt Lola lately?”
“Not this week.” Guilt slammed him hard. He’d never gone a week without checking on his mother’s aunt Lola. The elderly woman had done her best to keep track of him when he was young.
“Joe said he saw her yesterday. She was sitting down by the lake with a fishing pole and no bait. He gave her a ride back to her apartment.”
Isaac took off his hat and ran a hand through his short hair. “I’ll get by there this afternoon.”
She stopped following him. “Isaac?”
He glanced back. “Yeah?”
“We women don’t always plan on falling in love. Sometimes we think we’re immune, kind of like you. But when a nice guy comes along, it just happens.”
“You love me?” he teased.
“Not me. Ever. You’re like...a cat.”
“That’s the best you’ve got?”
She shrugged. “I don’t like cats but I tolerate them. They serve a purpose.”
“I’m not going to get enmeshed and I’m not breaking any hearts.”
“There’s a child involved,” she warned.
“I know that and I appreciate the advice.” Even if it was unnecessary. “And thanks for the update on Lola.”
She turned back to the garage apartment and he headed for the stable that had taken the place of the barn that had been there when he was a kid. It had been a great barn. Wood siding, metal roof and a hayloft. The stable looked like every other big, expensive building of its kind. Metal siding, indoor arena, a dozen stalls, office, feed and tack rooms.
He pushed open the double doors at the front and entered. For a moment he stood in the softly lit interior, the scents of hay, horses and cedar all combining to make one of his favorite smells in the world. Hooves stomped as the animals moved in their stalls. A few heads came over stall doors to whinny a greeting. It didn’t matter that he was early; they were ready for breakfast. So was he. Before the horses got fed he was going to grab another cup of coffee and a protein bar from the office.
On the way past Mouse’s stall, he heard the mare squeal at him. Isaac stopped to peek in. Still no foal, but she wasn’t happy with the labor process. And she appeared to be further on than he would have expected. He opened the stall door and stepped inside. She pawed at the ground and shied away, giving a warning swish of her tail.
“Easy, Mouse. You know me.” He remained close to her side, running a hand down her gray neck. “There you go. Easy, girl.”
She gave his sleeve a light nip.
“I’m going to get coffee and I’ll be back.” He gave her another pat on the neck. “Can I get you anything?”
“She can’t really talk, can she?” a small voice asked from the other side of the door.
He saw the child most likely to sneak away from her mother standing there. “Do you ever warn a guy before you sneak up on him?”
She giggled. “Did I scare you again?”
“Not at all. Does your mother know you’re out here?”
She shook her head.
“You’re going to get us both in trouble, Allie.” He reached for her hand. “Come on, let’s get you back to the house. Don’t you have school today?”
“Dr. Carson said I can’t go today. He thinks I need to rest. Is he your brother?”
“Half brother.” Did a girl her age understand? “Yes, he’s my brother.”
He led her out of the barn and toward the women’s apartments.
“My mom isn’t in there.”
He stopped walking. “Where is she?”
“Jack’s house. She’s fixing breakfast because Maria is sick. She was in the pantry and I saw you going to the stable.”
“Okay, kid, listen. We have to establish some rules.”
She looked crestfallen so he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Nothing serious, just rules to keep you safe. First, you don’t go anywhere without telling your mom or another responsible adult.”
“Like you?” she asked.
“No. I said a responsible adult. Everyone will tell you I’m the farthest thing from responsible.”
“You look responsible to me.” She glanced up at him, studying his face.
“Looks can be deceiving.” He led her toward the house. “Let’s get back to the list of rules.”
The back door of Jack’s house swung open with a bang. He looked up as Rebecca came out, saw them and went from relieved to angry.
“Uh-oh,” Allie whispered.
“Yeah, uh-oh. This is why we have rule number one. Rule number two, apologize. Rule number three, you don’t go in the stable or pastures without permission and without an adult.”
“That’s a lot of rules.”
“Yeah, start with number two.”
Rebecca approached, her gaze landing on her daughter and then on him.
He nudged Allie.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” she said in a small voice. “I saw Isaac walking to the barn and wanted to go. But he said to apologize and follow rule number one—no going anywhere without telling you or a responsible adult. And he isn’t responsible.”
Her angry demeanor cracked a bit and a hint of amusement flickered in her eyes. “You’re supposed to be inside resting.”
“I know, but Isaac went to the barn and I—”
“Rule number four, no arguing.” Rebecca held out a hand for her daughter to take. “Tell Isaac you’ll see him later.”
“You’ll have to bring her out soon. We’re about to have a new foal.”
“I can’t miss a new foal!” Allie spoke quickly. “Can we watch?”
“The mare actually doesn’t like an audience. She waits for us to walk away.” From the stable he heard a loud, pained whinny. “And then she has the baby.”
Allie shot a worried look in the direction of the barn. “Is she okay?”
“Yes, she’s okay. I’m going back out there, and when your mom is ready, she can bring you on out to check on things.”
“We’ll eat breakfast with Jack and then we’ll be out to see how things are going,” Rebecca responded, still holding tight to Allie’s hand. She probably thought if
she loosened her grip, the little girl would run for the stable.
He watched as the two of them headed for the house, a matched set, mother and daughter. As he stood there in the yard, the grass crunchy beneath his boots as he shifted his weight, Allie glanced back at him.
Brown eyes, a hazy morning, and then an explosion and she disappeared into the thick smoke. It was the last thing he remembered before waking up in an army hospital in Germany.
He scrubbed his hands down his face and reminded himself that this wasn’t Afghanistan. The little girl heading for the house wasn’t that Afghan child. He breathed deeply, taking an inventory of his surroundings, listening for the familiar sounds of Mercy Ranch and not the streets of a war-torn land.
And he prayed. Because he didn’t want to get lost in the memories.
“You okay?”
He shook himself free from his thoughts and realized Jack was standing in front of him. Jack, who knew the way a moment could drag a guy into a flashback. A memory that felt so real he thought he was still living that day. Over and over again.
He’d stopped it this time. He’d managed to hold on to reality.
Behind Jack stood Rebecca and Allie. The little girl appeared to be oblivious to his turmoil. Rebecca studied him intently, seeing far too much.
“I’m good. Just got lost in thought.”
“You’ve been standing there for several minutes,” Jack warned, his voice low.
“Meditating,” he said. “It’s a beautiful morning. I can feel Christmas in the air.”
He winked at Allie. She didn’t appear to buy his excuse any more than Jack or her mother did. His gaze collided with Rebecca’s. Honey-blond hair framed her face and her brown eyes appeared concerned. For him.
From the stables a horse whinnied. He said something about checking on Mouse. And of course they all tagged along.
* * *
Rebecca followed Jack and Isaac, not listening to their conversation as they approached the barn, but hearing enough to understand. Isaac West had nightmares. Or possibly flashbacks.
She’d seen him out the window as Allie had been pleading her case for escaping, and then asking to please go see the new foal. Jack had joined them, taking Allie’s side, and then he’d seen Isaac standing in the yard. It had been obvious, even from a distance, that something had happened.
The Rancher's Christmas Match Page 6
