Because the truth was, he’d always wanted a family. A wife. Kids. A home. Sunday dinners after church, school programs, handprints traced on paper hanging on the fridge. It wasn’t a dream most men admitted to. Not when their friends were talking about clubbing on Saturday nights, and the latest woman they’d been dating.
“Hold steady,” he said to Joe, who had agreed to help him work the dun by getting on a horse. Joe hated riding. Which was too bad, because he was a decent rider for a guy living his life as an amputee.
“Hold steady he says,” Joe grumbled. “Sierra, bring your horse in a little closer. The boss wants us to hold steady.”
Sierra had been at the ranch for two years, and she’d kept to herself until about six months ago. The horses were slowly but surely bringing her into the group, and out of her shell.
Isaac managed to catch most of what his friend had said. “I heard that.”
“I meant for you to hear it. I think you’re riding to relieve stress and we’re collateral damage.”
“Yep, that’s it.” He held the dun steady. The horse eyed the steer and then went to work, right, left, right, left, backing up and then shifting quickly to the right again to keep the steer from moving past them.
He let the steer move past, back to the herd, and then he cut another one from the tightly clustered group. He moved the animal to the center of the arena away from the others.
The dun moved easily. A tap of Isaac’s boot on the right side made the horse swing to the left. A tap on his left side made him move to the right. He had a few bad habits, but nothing Isaac couldn’t work out of him. Sometimes he kept moving backward when he was supposed to come to a quick stop. And he didn’t always respond to leg commands.
“He’s a decent horse,” Sierra called out, as she kept the steer from running past her.
“Yeah, I think he’s going to do well. I have a buyer for him.”
“Hey, Rebecca, how are you?” Joe said, a little too cheerfully. He stopped his horse and headed toward the edge of the arena.
Isaac shot a glance over his shoulder and saw that she was there, watching them. He caught Sierra’s look, the moment when she rolled her eyes.
He ignored her. If he denied anything she would say that only proved his guilt.
“Do you want to work your horse on his leads while we’re out here?” He asked because he knew he’d been standing there like a fool.
She shook her head. “Nah, I think we’re good.”
“He’s keeping his head down?” he asked, because the horse she rode had a tendency to toss his head. He’d put a tie-down on the gelding, a strap that ran from the underside of the bridle to the breast collar.
“Yeah, now that he’s used to the tie-down. Go talk to her.”
“Next week try him without the tie-down and see if he keeps his head down. We don’t want him knocking you under the chin.”
She grinned at that. “No, no one wants to be taken by surprise.”
“You can go now,” he said.
She saluted and rode out of the arena. Joe had already left. He was standing next to Rebecca, his horse behind him, lipping Rebecca’s blond hair. She brushed his muzzle away and then slid a hand down his copper-penny-colored neck.
Isaac ignored the strange tension inside him. It didn’t matter that Joe was flirting with her. It didn’t matter that he wanted to be the only man she smiled at. It mattered that she needed to be safe. And he didn’t feel like the man who could be that for a woman. He could protect her, should Allie’s father show up. Or at least he hoped he could.
But that’s as far as he would take this, whatever this was.
Joe saw him coming, said something Isaac couldn’t hear. The cheerful look on his face spoke volumes, but Isaac still wished he could have heard what the other man had said to her. Whatever it was, she laughed and avoided looking at Isaac.
Until he was right in front of her, dismounting as his horse moved to the right. Once his feet were on the ground, he pulled the animal close.
“I haven’t seen a cutting horse work cattle in a long time,” Rebecca said.
He turned a bit, giving her his good ear.
“Where’s Allie?” he asked, as he pushed the dun’s head away.
“She’s staying with Kylie and Carson. They’re having a sleepover with Allie, their two children and a girl from church who is Allie’s age.” Rebecca looked lost. “She’s never been away from me overnight before.”
“She’ll be fine with Kylie and Carson, you know.”
“Probably,” she agreed.
“Let’s go for a ride.” The suggestion was spontaneous. “It’s getting close to sunset and on a cool night like tonight, with just the right amount of clouds, it should be spectacular. I’ll make us a thermos of coffee and we can head for the pond.”
He’d gone from offering a ride to distract her to offering the most romantic thing his cowboy brain could think of. He knew most men would offer dinner, flowers, maybe jewelry. But for him, a ride across Oklahoma hill country at sunset was at the top of the list. She probably wouldn’t agree.
Hopefully, her mind wasn’t on romance, because his shouldn’t be heading in that direction. He didn’t know what it was about this woman that made him want to shove all those convictions of his in a vault.
One good nightmare and he’d remember why this was a bad idea. Memories of Jack drinking to forget the pain of war. A path Isaac prayed he’d never take.
But he’d been tempted. After his injury, when they’d given him pills, he’d been tempted. He’d soon realized that the pills had become a problem.
Carson had recently told him that awareness meant he wasn’t like Jack.
“I’m not sure,” she said after a minute.
“It would take your mind off worrying about Allie.” She’d almost said no and here he was, trying to lure her back to yes.
With any other woman he wouldn’t worry about a ride at sunset. Because he wouldn’t want there to be a second ride. But Rebecca tempted a guy to think about spending more time in her presence.
“I haven’t ridden in years.”
“It’s like riding a bike,” he said encouragingly.
“Okay, but I have to change.”
“You’re fine. There are boots in the office. Probably a pair that fits. We don’t want to miss that sunset.”
Suddenly, seeing the sunset with her was the most important thing in his life.
He left her in the office to find a pair of boots and wait on the coffee to perk so she could pour it into a thermos.
“I’m adding sugar and cream,” she informed him as he walked out the office door.
“I’m a man who can admit he likes his coffee sweet,” he replied, not bothering to hide the smile that her easy banter brought on.
He picked a gentle mare named Dolly for her. A pretty buckskin with a sweet disposition and a smooth gait. The mare was saddled and ready to go when Rebecca walked out of the office with a thermos of coffee and a couple snack cakes.
“I like sweet coffee, but no thanks to the junk food.”
She gave him a casual look. “No junk?”
“Nope. Too many additives. I’ve found they make the headaches worse.”
She turned away from him as she said something. He saw her lips move but didn’t quite catch the words.
He put a hand on her arm and brought her back around to face him. “I didn’t hear that.”
Her cheeks turned pink. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I don’t want to miss anything important. Like if you tell me I’m amazing and I don’t respond, you’ll think I didn’t care.”
“If I tell you that you think too highly of yourself, I want to make sure you don’t miss a word.”
“Yeah, that, too.” He took the coffee and snack cakes and put them in the sa
ddlebag on his horse. “Let me introduce you to Dolly.”
He took her hand and led her to the buckskin. Dolly had a soft gold coat and black mane and tail. Her eyes were as gentle as her personality.
“She’s beautiful,” Rebecca said, stroking her hand down the horse’s neck.
“She was a rescue. She came to us half-starved and cut up. She’s a great horse for the men and women on the ranch. We use her for lessons and for therapy.”
He watched as Rebecca leaned in close to the horse. “She’s perfect.”
Dolly cuddled into the woman who was giving her plenty of attention, petting her face and whispering in her big ears. Isaac had never thought of himself as the jealous type, but...
“We should go,” he said, untying his horse. “We’ll mount up outside. You’ll be warm enough?”
“It isn’t that cold,” she told him as she untied the mare. “It has been a change for us, getting used to the colder weather.”
They mounted up in the small corral to the side of the barn and he opened the gate to let them through. She seemed to know what she was doing, holding the reins comfortably as if it hadn’t been years since she’d ridden.
Dolly perked up, her ears twitching, probably happy with the lighter weight of a female. One who obviously knew how to ride.
Isaac nudged the dun forward and rode alongside her.
“Where are we going?” she asked, keeping her gaze between her horse’s ears.
He’d purposely put himself on her left so that he wouldn’t miss anything she said. He pointed toward the pond in the distance. Already the red-and-orange glow of the setting sun reflected on the dark water.
“It’s beautiful.” Rebecca spoke softly. Dolly’s ears twitched again.
“It is. There’s a small rise just past the pond. It’s the best view.”
She nodded, looking toward the hill he’d indicated. “I guess you do this often?”
“Usually by myself, but yeah. I enjoy church, but this is where I feel God’s presence most.”
She shot him a look, not quite disbelieving, but there was some doubt. He knew she was still trying to wrap her mind around trusting God. After what she’d been through, he understood that.
“It isn’t that I doubt your faith,” she said, as if she read his thoughts. They were probably written all over his face.
“Okay.”
She started again. “I don’t doubt your faith. I just didn’t expect it.”
He grinned. “Because I’m such a good-looking cowboy?”
She laughed. “Well, it isn’t as if you have the market on humility cornered. And I don’t know, maybe that’s part of it. Or maybe I haven’t met many men who were actually living their faith.”
“I think you’ve been meeting the wrong men,” he told her as they passed the pond. The sun was sinking toward the western horizon now. He glanced at the woman riding next to him. “Ready for a lope?”
She nodded and they nudged their horses forward at an easy pace, covering the ground a little quicker than the sedate walk of earlier. He heard her laugh, the sound carrying on the wind. He chanced a look at her, honey-blond hair blowing back and pale cheeks rosy with the wind and the cold.
She was beautiful. He had known that since the day she showed up in town, but it struck him full force in a way that wouldn’t let a man take a deep breath. He shook his head and nearly lost his hat. He pushed it down on his head and brought his horse around, slowing to walk to the top of the hill.
Dolly closed the gap between them as he turned and brought the gelding to a stop. The sun was dipping below the horizon and there were just enough clouds to paint the sky in lavender, pink, orange and violet. The colors reflected on the pond. Somewhere in the distance a coyote howled.
Isaac pulled the coffee out of the saddlebag and poured the caramel-colored brew into the plastic cap. He offered it to her first. She took it and sipped, then handed it back. It was still hot, had just the right amount of sugar, and sharing it felt too intimate. But he felt, deep down, that this mattered.
She mattered. In a way that he couldn’t explain. He’d never want to hurt her. He didn’t want to wake up someday and realize he’d hurt her during a nightmare, or that the addiction he feared would creep up on him.
He had a hard enough time being responsible for his own life without adding other people to the mix.
They emptied the coffee cup and he refilled it as she reached into the saddlebag and pulled out a snack cake. She offered one of the squares to him. It was tempting to take that piece of white cake, but he shook his head.
“No, I’d better not.” He always said the same thing each time someone offered him a drink of alcohol. Since addiction ran in his family, it was best to avoid it altogether.
The sun sank lower and the colors faded, washed away by the dark blue of early evening. He pointed to the south.
Her eyes widened. “Christmas lights?”
“You can see Hope from here. The town display is up. And people are starting to decorate.”
“It’s beautiful.” She had a wide-eyed look of wonder on her face, as if it were her first Christmas. He guessed in a way it was. Her first Christmas back in Oklahoma. The first in which she might be finding faith again.
“You have it all wrong,” he told her.
Her eyes narrowed. “Wrong?”
“The lights are pretty. You’re beautiful.”
She started to object.
“You’re beautiful,” he repeated, as he leaned closer. He slid his hand to the back of her neck, where soft tresses of blond hair caressed his skin.
Her lips parted and he kissed her tenderly, tasting the sweetness of the cake on her lips. She touched his arm and, as she drew back, whispered his name.
“Becca, we have a serious problem.”
“Yes, we do.”
“I’m determined not to hurt you, but I’m afraid a relationship with me would, in time, do so. And if I hurt you, I hurt Allie. I wouldn’t want to do that, either.”
“I’ve taken too many chances with my heart, with my daughter’s heart. I trust you, Isaac. I don’t trust myself. And I also know that we’re not on the same page where our faith is concerned and that will matter. Maybe not right now, but eventually.”
“So we stop now before we’re in too deep?” he said, as he headed his horse in the direction of the barn, Rebecca riding next to him.
“I think so.”
“I’d like to be your friend,” he told her, as darkness fell over them. “Just friends. No more kisses in the moonlight.”
“No more setting suns.” She nudged her horse into an easy trot.
He nodded. “No more setting suns.”
It should be simple. They hadn’t known each other that long. They were pretty decent friends already. So why complicate things? Even as he told himself it should be easy, Isaac found himself missing her. He was already missing all the sunsets they wouldn’t watch together. All the coffee they wouldn’t share. He knew he was doing the right thing, keeping their relationship platonic, but it sure didn’t feel right.
Chapter Ten
“You’re going to church?” Eve asked as she entered the kitchen the women shared.
Rebecca nodded as she took a sip of her coffee. And tried not to think about sharing coffee with Isaac. It had been intimate, something that changed things between them. The coffee. Watching that sunset together. It had been more than just the kiss.
Eve gave her a discerning look as she dropped a couple slices of bread in the toaster. “Did you eat?”
“No, but I’m good. Do you want coffee?”
Eve pulled a cup off the rack on the counter. “I’d love a cup. I guess we can’t convince you to stay on the ranch? I’m going to miss you.”
Rebecca slid the cup across the counter. Eve drank her coffee
black. And strong.
“For now I’m here. I’m sure I’ll eventually find a place. But I don’t want to take a spot at the ranch that someone else might need.”
Eve backed her wheelchair up and grabbed peanut butter out of a lower cabinet. “We’ve got plenty of room.”
Rebecca watched the woman. With her dark hair, equally dark eyes and careful but cheerful smile, she was fast becoming a friend.
“Will you leave at some point?” Rebecca asked Eve. In retrospect, the question felt intrusive. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s a question I ask myself from time to time. I have family in Texas. But Mercy Ranch is my home now. I’m not sure I’d want to leave.”
“I can understand that. It’s easy to make this place a home. I don’t want Allie to get attached and then have to leave.”
“Yeah, it’s hard for a kid. They always say that kids adjust. But as a child who moved a lot, I think it’s more a saying than a reality. New schools, new homes, new friends. After a while it got easier not to have friends.”
It was a brief glimpse into the woman’s life, her careful smiles and guarded attitude.
“I grew up in the same house, going to the same school.” Rebecca wanted to give Eve something because she felt the other woman had shared a bit of herself she didn’t usually. “I used to trust too easily. Now I feel it’s a lot safer to keep my distance. I have to protect my heart and my daughter.”
“Is that why you...” Eve shook her head. “Sorry. I went too far. You ready to go to church? Did you say Kylie and Carson are bringing Allie? I have to admit, I missed her last night.”
“So did I. We’ve never been apart overnight.”
“You’re a good mom, Rebecca.”
They left together, Eve riding with her. As they drove past the main house, Jack stepped out with Isaac, who helped his father make his unsteady way to the waiting truck.
“Jack is getting worse,” Eve said softly. “A year ago he was still strong and going nonstop. It’s hard to see him like this.”
The Rancher's Christmas Match Page 10
