by M. S. Parker
I lightly pushed on the door and waited for any response that would tell me I needed to come up with an immediate excuse for my presence. No alarms. No one asking me what I was doing. No shadows moving from inside the office. Just the dim light of a small lamp from the far corner behind the desk.
Before common sense could talk me out of doing something stupid, I stepped into the office and carefully made my way to the desk. The carpet was thick, but I didn’t know how well it would muffle sound. For all the time I’d spent in this house as a kid, I’d never been in this room before. I kept my hands clasped tightly behind me to avoid the temptation of touching anything and methodically scanned the desktop for anything that might be useful.
Minutes later, I was only a few feet from the dining room entrance, my stomach churning to the point where I doubted I’d be able to eat. I needed to tell Clay what I’d found, but I wanted to wait until we got back to the hotel room. Unfortunately, with dinner not even yet begun, I knew I had to do it sooner rather than later, if only because he’d notice that something was wrong the moment I sat down next to him.
I took out my phone and sent a quick text. I wasn’t certain that he had his phone on, but a few seconds later, I heard him excuse himself. When he came out into the short corridor, he looked puzzled, but not upset. I held a finger to my lips and motioned for him to follow me. I couldn’t risk his parents overhearing, not when I didn’t know what to do with the information I’d found.
He followed me into the library, and I eased the door closed behind him.
“What’s going on?” he asked, keeping his voice low.
“Did you know that your dad knows Secretary Munroe?”
Clay frowned but didn’t appear upset by my question. “They’ve both been involved in politics for decades. It makes sense they’d know each other.”
I shook my head, twisting my fingers until the skin on my knuckles pulled tight. “Not just in passing. There are pictures in the hall by the bathroom of your dad and Munroe. They’re shaking hands at a Christmas party–”
“In case you haven’t noticed, my dad makes a point of shaking hands with everyone he sees.” Clay crossed his arms, tension thrumming in the stiff lines of his body.
Shit.
The defensiveness in Clay’s tone had me worried, but I needed to press on. We’d promised that we wouldn’t have any more secrets. “There’s one of them fishing together.”
“Haven’t you ever heard of publicity shoots?”
I sighed. The photos were circumstantial anyway. It was what I’d found in the office that had convinced me that I needed to talk to Clay.
“There’s a suspicious letter on your dad’s desk from Secretary Munroe. It talks about them meeting to discuss the work they’ve been doing together and how much Munroe is looking forward to collaborating on a new project as soon as the recent problems have all been taken care of.”
“You’re way off.”
“I hope I am,” I said honestly. “But the letter was dated as having been written three days after you and I arrived in Costa Rica.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
I took a step toward him, trying to keep my voice as gentle as possible. “Munroe mentions a specific bill your father supports, one that deals with federal changes regarding drug trafficking offenses and how Munroe is thankful to have someone like your dad looking out for him.”
Clay shook his head, a stubborn set to his jaw. “Munroe’s playing my father, making it sound like they’re working together when they’re not.”
“Is your dad really the kind of man who’d let himself get played?” I asked, already knowing the answer. “I’m sorry, Clay.”
“You’re sorry?”
The fury that filled Clay’s words made me take a step back.
“My parents aren’t perfect. I know that. But I also know that there are lines that they’d never cross. This is one of them. My father would never be involved in anything illegal. You know that. You know my parents.”
“I knew them sixteen years ago as a child,” I corrected. “People can change a lot in sixteen years.”
“Clearly,” Clay said. “Because back then, I never would’ve imagined you accusing my father of something like this.”
My heart was beating like a rabbit in my chest, but I couldn’t back down on this. “I can’t just ignore the facts because we’re involved. As a journalist, I can’t do that, and as an FBI agent, you know you can’t either.”
“Maybe I’m in on it too.” He practically threw the words at me. “I’m surprised you don’t think that considering all the other shit you’ve accused me of.”
I held up my hands, palms out. “I’m not accusing you. I don’t think you have anything to do with this.”
He let out a snort of derision. “You have a lot of nerve. You come into my family’s home, sneak around trying to find dirt, and then try to tell me that it’s my father who’s been up to illegal stuff.”
I tried not to let him see how much that hurt. “I came to you because we promised we wouldn’t keep any secrets.”
“No, Tess, you came to me because you want me to support this crazy idea of yours regardless of what it’ll do to my family. All you care about is your fucking story. Well, that and your own family. We both know that’s why you’re trying to make this about my father, so it’ll take the spotlight off of your sister.”
My temper bubbled just under the surface, and with every word Clay said, it became harder and harder to maintain control.
“I was an idiot for thinking this could work,” he said, plowing his fingers through his hair. “I can’t be with someone who’s looking for conspiracies around every corner, who puts her own ambition above the innocent lives she’s ruining.”
Every accusation felt like a physical blow. I’d thought we’d moved past all of this to a place where we trusted each other. That’s why I’d come to him even though a part of me had been apprehensive about how he’d react.
“I suppose I should be thankful that I found out before I turned my life upside-down for another woman. None of you are worth putting up with this shit.”
I pushed back the tears burning in my eyes and straightened my shoulders.
“I’ll leave your things down at the front desk so you can pick them up in the morning. I’m sure your parents will love to have you all to themselves tonight. They probably have your old room exactly the way you left it. I hope you enjoy your family time.”
I spun on my heel and walked away.
He was right about one thing, I thought as I stepped out into the cold February night. It was better to have things settled between us before we’d uprooted our lives to be together. At least now I could go back to New York and move on without regrets.
Thirty-One
Clay
Hours had passed since Tess had left me at my parents’ house and I still could barely believe it. Not that she’d left. I’d deserved that. What I didn’t want to think about was the way I’d treated her. We’d promised each other that we’d be honest, and the first time she came to me with something important, I’d lashed out at her.
She was a reporter, and a damn good one. I could no more fault her for following her instincts than I could fault myself for following a hunch. I’d checked the hall for the pictures she’d referenced, hating myself for needing that proof. The moment I’d seen them, I’d known I’d royally fucked things up with her. It was impossible to tell if my father’s interactions with Secretary Munroe were professional or personal, and since more than a story was on the line here, Tess’s investigating further was justified. I would’ve done the same thing if our places had been reversed.
Which meant I owed Tess a huge apology…even if she didn’t accept it.
“Idiot,” I said aloud as I continued to pace.
My parents had accepted my explanation that Tess had gotten a call from her sister and needed to go, but I’d seen the look they’d exchanged and knew that they were hoping
it had been something more. Neither one would come right out and say it, not after the arguments we’d had in the past about my dating life, but they both wanted Tess out of my life, if only to make room for whatever socialite they planned to send my way. I knew it was because they loved me and thought they knew what was best for me, but it still bugged the hell out of me.
I’d forced myself to make small talk when all I really wanted to do was get some time alone and rage at the world. Thanks to Tess taking the car, I wasn’t able to do that in the privacy of a hotel room unless I wanted to call for a ride, then deal with my parents about that too. Instead, I’d accepted my parents’ offer of using my old room, then gone back downstairs when it’d become clear that I wasn’t going to sleep any time soon.
Pacing helped burn off anxiety, but the monotony of it only fed into the hundreds of ‘what if’ scenarios clogging my mind, the majority of which involved Tess never speaking to me again and me hearing from Brianne that Tess was getting married to some douchebag who didn’t deserve her but was still a hundred times better for her than me–
A knock at the front door broke into my thoughts, and I was halfway there before I realized it was two o’clock in the morning, and no one should be knocking on the door of a US Congressman’s residence.
I automatically reached for my sidearm and then remembered that I didn’t have it with me. My parents’ house was one of the few places I’d thought would be secure enough for me not to need it. Still, I needed to see who was there. It didn’t matter if I was off-duty or that I could press one of the many panic buttons my parents had installed and bring armed security in minutes. This was my family, and I’d protect them.
When I was close enough to see the small screen that showed who was on the other side of the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was Brianne. She’d made it back to the States faster than I’d thought she would.
As I opened the door, I made up my mind to offer her a guest room so she didn’t have to look for a hotel. She wouldn’t accept, but I’d be able to tell Tess when she came to get Bri. That would give me the chance I needed to appropriately grovel.
Brianne was two steps inside before I realized I’d mistaken the expression on her face. She wasn’t exhausted. She was furious and trying to control it. I took a step back, raising my hands, but she knocked them aside and grabbed the front of my shirt, shoving me against a wall before I could truly process what was happening.
“You fucking bastard.”
Her voice was low enough that I doubted my parents would hear it, which was a good thing since I didn’t want to have to explain to them what Brianne was doing here threatening me when it was only two hours past midnight.
“I can explain–”
Brianne’s grip on my shirt tightened, and she put her face an inch from mine. “I don’t want to hear it. I knew you’d hurt her. Guys like you, you’re sons of bitches, no matter how much you try to pretend otherwise. I tried to protect her from you before, and now I see I was right to do it.”
Every word cut me, not because Bri was wrong, but because she was right.
“I should have put you on the first plane out of San Jose the moment I saw you. Instead, I let myself listen to the two of you defend whatever game you were playing.” Brianne wore a disgusted expression on her face, and I had the sense that the feeling was directed more at herself than at me. “No more. When we’re done taking down the people responsible for two of my friends dying, if you’re still in DC, I’m going to put you in the hospital.”
I didn’t doubt a single word she said, and she must have seen it on my face before she released me and took a step back.
“I’m heading back to the hotel to keep an eye on Tess. I have some instructions I’ll text you, and then you can join us at the hotel to finish getting things ready. Until then, don’t even think about contacting my sister. In fact, don’t even think about her at all.”
With that, she was gone, the entire encounter lasting only a few minutes. All the same, it had left me with an impossible task.
To not think about the one person who’d occupied my thoughts more than anyone else.
Thirty-Two
Tess
Three hours of sleep was three more than I’d expected to get, but I wasn’t any less tired when I woke up a few minutes after five. Brianne had gotten in sometime around midnight, and I’d texted her with the hotel information but hadn’t said anything about the falling out I’d had with Clay. She’d found out about that when she’d shown up at the hotel and had seen that I was there alone. We’d talked over things and then she’d gone back to her room, saying she’d come back just after sunrise and we’d get things started.
When I woke up, I stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling as I waited for the pain to hit me again. The hurt I’d felt yesterday on the drive, in the hotel, talking to Brianne, all of it was gone. Not in the sense that I had moved past it, but rather like it had been removed. And not only the hurt. Everything. I was numb. Empty.
Finally, I climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I went through the motions of washing up, of getting dressed, and I felt nothing. Through a gap in my curtains, I caught a glimpse of early morning DC. The sun was up, but the weather reflected my mood: gray and dreary. I could have gone downstairs to get the free coffee and breakfast offered with my room, but eating what I had in the room seemed worth not having to be around people.
The smell of coffee woke me up more than the shower had, but even that didn’t bring any sort of emotional response. I wanted the coffee, but the usual smile it brought to my face didn’t appear.
I sat down at the desk and sipped the hot liquid slowly but steadily. As the caffeine made its way through my system, I made up my mind that I would do whatever it took to get this thing resolved right away. I’d work with Brianne and Clay, do whatever they told me I needed to do, and get the job done. Once my part to play was done, I’d be gone, and not look back.
Even that thought didn’t cause a single twinge.
I turned my head at the sound of the lock to the hotel room door clicking, unsurprised to see Brianne coming inside. Clay had left his key here before we’d gone to his parents’ place so I’d passed it off to my sister. I told myself I’d done it to allow her access to my room, but I knew that part of me had done it to avoid having to deal with the fact of a second key.
“Morning,” I said before turning my attention back to my half-full cup.
“I found someone waiting in the lobby,” Brianne said.
I tensed, closing my eyes. I didn’t need him to speak, didn’t need the spicy scent of him, to know when he came into the room.
“Good morning.”
I held up my hand without looking at him. “We have work to do, and I can do that, but this isn’t going to be anything else.”
“I understand.”
“Nope.” Brianne put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “The two of you need to talk.”
My head snapped around to find Clay staring at her with just as much disbelief as I was feeling. “You were pissed at him last night.”
“I was,” she agreed. “And I still am.”
“Thanks,” Clay said dryly.
“I’m not doing this for you,” she snapped at him. “I saw what happened to my sister when I didn’t let her get closure, and I’m not letting you do that to her again. You two have ten minutes to hash out whatever you need to say so we can get down to business.”
I appreciated what she was trying to do, but I didn’t need to talk to Clay. Before I could tell her that, she left, and it was just Clay and me alone.
“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “We don’t have to bring any of that up again. Let’s just take care–”
He knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands, his touch shutting me up better than anything else could have. Heaven help me, I still wanted him.
“I’m sorry.” His fingers tightened around my hands. “I was wrong to get defensive and attack you. I was the worst
part of myself, and there is absolutely no excuse for my behavior.”
As far as apologies went, that was a pretty good start, even if I didn’t want to hear it.
“It was my turn to fuck up, and I did it gloriously.” He kissed my hands. “And I can’t promise I won’t do something equally as stupid again, but I can promise that when I do, I’ll admit to being an ass and do whatever it takes to make things right.”
Tears burned a path to my eyes. “Dammit, Clay,” I whispered.
“I was an ass, Tess, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. Give me another chance, please.”
I knew what Brianne would say, and I knew that the old Tess would’ve agreed with her. Walk away and don’t look back.
Except I’d lost so much time with Clay already because of unforgiveness and miscommunication. The only way to stop the cycle was to do just that: stop. Stop turning every disagreement into something that would destroy what we were building. And that was what we needed to focus on: building something with the two of us. That was the only way this would work.
And we’d have that talk…after I kissed him.
I leaned forward, practically throwing myself in his arms as he caught me. My mouth crashed into his and everything that had been chaos inside me calmed. His arms tightened, and I felt his relief as his lips moved with mine.
“Dammit, you two.” Brianne glared at us from the doorway. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. We have work to do. After that…”
She waved her hand in the air like it didn’t matter, but I knew I’d hear it at some point. At least we had something to keep us all busy for a while.
Thirty-Three
Clay
Brianne’s plan sounded just as insane in DC as it had in Costa Rica, but I still hadn’t been able to come up with anything better. Except, with the new information Tess had found, I had to admit that it might actually work. Before, I’d been going to see Secretary Munroe with some lame-ass excuse that probably would’ve gotten my ass beaten or killed. Now, I could say that I was there on behalf of my father and hope that it could get Munroe to open up.
