From far away, I heard my name being called. The voice of an angel. She spoke to my demon, her tone soothing. But it shoved her aside. We didn’t want to be soothed. We wanted rage. We wanted vengeance. We wanted this sick animal’s blood.
Fingers gripped my arm, gently at first. Then tightened, pulling hard. “Tarik, please. Please! Stop! I can’t watch you like this. Not because of me. Please.”
The pounding in my ears dimmed enough for me to catch her words. But I didn’t like them. I growled, not caring how inhuman I sounded. I wanted to kill. Kill the shifter. My fist raised, trembling with a violent ache to end this pathetic human—if he could even be called that—but there it stayed. Chest heaving, I allowed Reagan to pull me away. I didn’t tear my gaze from Alec’s bloody face, though.
He couldn’t see me, his eyes long since swollen shut, but I knew he could hear me. I didn’t recognize the voice that came out of me next, but the words felt right as they expelled from my mouth. “If you ever touch her again, you’ll wish I had killed you. Because what I’ll do to you is too horrendous for words.”
On autopilot, I turned and stumbled down the hallway. Our cover was blown. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Everything here could be replaced except the Genesis Crystal. I shoved the rock into my pants pocket and lurched for the hallway again, already forming an escape plan.
And came up short.
Reagan blocked the way, looking lost and confused and—
Gaia, she was walking toward me and wasn’t stopping. She crashed into me, burying her nose in my chest. I froze, shock coursing through my body. But when she twined her arms around my back and squeezed, I jerked into motion, gathering her to me. Inhaled her greedily. Kissed her hair. She trembled and I murmured random things, only aware of saying, “You’re okay. We’re okay,” over and over.
All I knew was that she needed me and I poured all of my being into our embrace.
We stayed that way for a full minute. Too long. Her warmth was intoxicating and pulling away hurt. But we were out of time. “We have to go.” I locked my eyes on hers, willing fire into her veins. This wasn’t over yet. “Can you release your wings? Because we need to fly.”
The end of my cigarette was withering, and I had only taken a single drag. I sat outside in a little area Rebel Leader had offered up when he noticed me flicking my lighter open and shut. He hadn’t forbidden me from smoking inside, not directly—maybe he thought I could use the air to clear my head. My thoughts were full, my mind trying to sift through the overwhelming pile of events and emotions that had slammed themselves into my life.
Akeno had found Tarik and me as soon as we had dropped into the Fae district a couple days ago. He was one hell of a spy. Benji had been ecstatic to see Tarik again, eagerly chattering about how well he had been taking care of Callie. I knew Tarik wanted to check on Benji’s mother soon. Every time she was mentioned, his hand would slide into the pocket where that crystal lay.
For now, we were safely hidden with the Fae. Rebel Leader had extended a generous invitation, but I didn’t know how long they could actually let me stay. Both dragons were pissed at me now. Anyone I associated with was as good as dead—Mordecai had made that clear when he instituted a stricter curfew on the Fae, barely clearing working hours. A wanted poster had begun to circulate the city. Mordecai was saying I had been abducted by Tarik.
Lies.
I couldn’t escape his lies. He had Alec out on extra patrols, no doubt looking for me. Waiting for me to slip up. Alec—
My heart hammered angrily every time I thought about Alec.
For once, I was grateful for Tarik’s stubbornness. If he had listened to me . . .
I swallowed hard. Yet again he had saved my life, damning his own all the more.
We were making a terrible habit of this.
Still. No one would be allowed to take anything I didn’t want to give. Not now, not in the future. No more mistakes.
“You all right? You’re about to burn yourself.”
Nevaeh interrupted my thoughts and I glanced down. Sure enough, the cigarette had burnt itself low, almost out. I dropped the butt into the grass and snuffed the ember, tugging another loose from my case before I answered, “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Yeah, I can imagine.” She plopped beside me, assessing my face with those alert brown and silver eyes. “Want to talk about anything?”
I shrugged. Nevaeh knew what had happened. We had spoken as soon as I had arrived at the Safehouse, and she finally had the chance to answer a few of my questions—like explaining that Akeno had brought her into the rebellion because he had caught her spying on unruly shifters one afternoon. She had warned him away, explained the danger, only to realize the information she had given him was exactly what he had come for.
Rebel Leader had filled in several blanks too, and in return I had offered my story to him and the rest of the crew. At least, as well as I could. Tarik had filled in the parts I struggled with. Repeating the worst of it was no easy task.
“I might leave Nathra City,” I said. “I saw an underground tunnel system on Mordecai’s computer, the one that he uses to import goods from other cities. The entrance is right below The Pit. I could make a real fuss, rile any guards, make sure they were mad enough to run back to Mordecai about it. Then maybe he’d lift his obnoxious curfew. I was always faster than Alec. I’m not worried about him.”
“You know that won’t work. And maybe you should be a little worried. You’ve always played off Alec’s visits like they were nothing, but he’s been bordering that edge for years. I’m glad Tarik was around when he finally tipped over.”
“I know. That entitled dragon and his obsessive need to take anything he can’t have . . . I should have realized how far south things were going. There were signs, and I didn’t see. I panicked and forgot how to react. Forgot to even try to shift. All I kept thinking was I can’t breathe, over and over . . .”
A lump formed in my throat, pressure I couldn’t quite force down. “I don’t think he’s used to being denied. Either way, I won’t make that mistake again.” I sucked in a long breath, blowing out slowly. “As for Tarik . . . well. That subject is a fresh kind of hell all its own.”
“Tarik? Why?” She stole a cigarette from my case, lighting the end before offering to light the one I still clutched between my fingers. I shook my head.
“I want him around as much as I want him to leave,” I admitted quietly. “I want him to go, to be safe, to not have a warrant on him because of me. In the same breath, I want him to stay. A fiery prick he may be, but he’s grown on me and I . . . I don’t want to lose him. Especially not to the dragons.”
Nevaeh’s eyes softened. “So tell him that. All of that.”
“He pulls away, Nevaeh. He tugs me closer to him, lets me in, and then literally shoves me away. I don’t know what he’s been through, but I don’t know how to help when he won’t let me in. And then, I still haven’t forgotten that kiss.” I flicked my lighter open, lit the cigarette, and took a long pull. When I had exhaled the smoke, I said, “The way things are heading, he’s going to shatter my heart.”
“Aw, Reagan.” Nevaeh leaned her head on my shoulder. “You really like this guy, huh?”
I paused, considered. Tarik . . . He filled most of my waking thoughts, even when I tried to focus them elsewhere. I should have fled in terror when he attacked Alec, when I saw how primal his anger could be. When I saw his limbs shaking with rage, the fury a blazing flame in his green eyes. Instead, I felt the opposite. That anger had all been channeled into protecting me and, minutes later, when I had asked more of him, he hadn’t hesitated. He had flipped to that vulnerable side I wanted to coax out. Because I needed him. Needed the comfort of knowing he was okay. That I was okay.
I needed him.
And I knew what Nevaeh was really asking, that she wasn’t merely talking about friendship. The question was as laden as the ones that sprang into my own mind, turning over every facet of every interaction I’d ha
d with Tarik. But good or bad, my answer was still the same.
“Yeah,” I admitted finally. “Yeah, I do.”
“So tell him.”
“And get pushed away?” She nudged my arm, a do-it-anyway jab I was all too familiar with. “Nevaeh, you’re better at this stuff. I can’t. I’m not like you.”
She nodded, purple locks spilling onto my shoulder. “No, you’re not. You care more, about everyone and everything. And if you tell him how you feel and he walks away? He’s a fool, and you’re better off.”
I stared at the wisp of smoke dancing off the end of my cigarette. “Yeah, maybe.”
Even I didn’t believe the words. I was too deep into this now to really feel like I would be better off; I rarely felt true, unbridled fear, and after Alec attacked I had run straight to Tarik. I didn’t know what to do with that. What was happening to me? I was the big bad Night Enforcer. I didn’t need people. Maybe Nevaeh, but I hadn’t initiated that friendship. She had latched onto me, and after a time, I refused to let her go. But I had grown used to disappointment. Emotions were more easily managed when you didn’t pour all of them into people who simply crushed them in return.
Now Tarik was in my life. This foreign entity. This challenger who drew out my sarcasm but constantly needed rescuing—as much from himself as from the problems that came with knowing me. And, truthfully, he had done his fair share of crushing too. Yet, he was also a solid force at my side when I really needed him. He was the person who, with a touch, could send all my bravery plummeting into my stomach. Who would literally dive in front of a dragon to keep me safe.
Nevaeh squeezed my hand, as though she could read my thoughts, before she left me alone to sort out the tangled strands of my mind. Of one thing I was fairly certain—I wasn’t going to tell Tarik anything.
—
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Tarik paused in his task to glance at me. “Um, no. Just lay low, we’ve got this.” Beside him, Caspar opened his mouth, but Tarik gripped the large Fae’s shoulder, silencing him with a look. “We gotta go to a meeting, actually. See you later.”
“But Tarik—”
He kept walking. I clenched my jaw, frowning.
A week. I had been stuck here in the Fae Safehouse for a week. Tarik was off helping the rebels with who knew what, while I sat here smoking and twiddling my thumbs. Even when I had poked at them to give me tasks to do, they had brushed me off. Encouraged me to stay hidden. Safe. I couldn’t take the boredom anymore. There had to be something I could do. Tarik’s face was plastered all over the city, not mine, and I was shoved into a box?
I inhaled a sharp breath and reined in my anger. His work with the rebellion wasn’t what frustrated me, not really, and I knew that. He had avoided me all week too. Wouldn’t so much as glance in my direction most of the time, and when he did? Not a word. He hadn’t spoken to me in days. I was stuck on a wheel, running and running, going nowhere.
My fist slammed into the wall and I hissed at the sting of pain. If no one would give me any direction, I would make my own. Sitting around certainly wasn't helping me take my mind off the situation. Off him.
In a recent meeting, Rebel Leader mentioned that Mordecai had loosened Alec’s reins. He was terrorizing Fae for no reason, many now too scared to do anything beyond working and hurrying home. Their supplies, food and otherwise, always ran low. I couldn’t imagine the limited schedules had helped that situation.
Sure, Alec hated the Fae, probably more so now, but I couldn’t help wondering if he was trying to distract us from worse plans. Mordecai wasn’t the type to simply stop when he failed. Maybe I could find out what he was up to, waylay the dragons from finding the Fae. At the very least, I had to get out of here, even for an hour or two. I couldn’t stand feeling so damned useless.
Not like anyone would notice if I was gone.
I was being bitter and petty and obnoxious.
With a huff, I glanced down. The Fae had given me clothing—of course—as soon as we had stepped through the door. But they were bulky and long, clothing tailored for much taller bodies. The fabric hung off my limbs. I’m wearing a tent. I picked through the kitchen drawers, but there didn’t seem to be anything I could use to modify the clothing. Hands it is.
I tore off the majority of the thin linen shirt. Sleeves, stomach, collar—the parts that would make rapid-shifting nearly impossible if I was caught and needed to escape. I left a bit, enough that Tarik could restrain his clothing frenzy.
Ugh. Tarik.
I need to get out of here.
No familiar faces were around as I slipped out the door. I shouldn’t be surprised; they were busy, even if I didn’t know exactly with what. But today . . . today, I would help.
While they were off gallivanting around, I was going to check on the Fae that bordered the shifter districts. I couldn’t get too close to The Pit—Alec apparently kept near-constant watch on the building these days, circling at random intervals. I wasn’t sure why. Neither Tarik nor I had any friends who frequented that cesspit.
Stop thinking about him.
The path I took into the city might be familiar but I couldn’t remember a time when I felt more out of place—the moon in the daytime sky, exactly where I belonged but still not quite right. Strange, the change of tide, considering I had once strode about without regard to where I fit. I treated the city like I owned the place—and part of me wondered if I still could have, if I had killed Mordecai. I should have. Everything would be easier, and I could deal with the guilt of murdering an unarmed, pleading man later. On my own.
I thought I was so strong. Virtually untouchable, in the ways that mattered.
But look at me now.
My fate, and the Fae’s, clenched in the fist of a man I could have simply ended. In either case, decisions had been made. Too late to turn back now. I shook my head, lengthening my hair into my lion’s mane. Thick and white. The bright Fae clothing should keep people from recognizing me immediately, even with my visible tattoos, but if I could lower the odds I certainly would.
Loading up on supplies took all of five minutes, and I paid with a wad of cash I had grabbed before leaving my penthouse. Virtually untraceable. The routine was like clockwork—the same aisles, the same supplies I had bought so many times before. Doing supply drops for the Fae had always made me feel like I was taking a step in the right direction. They were worth the risk.
But even with that certainty in my mind, when the cashier did a double take my heart burst into motion, pounding against my ribs. She finished bagging the groceries, though, and didn’t look up again. My fists slowly unclenched.
After I was finally concealed in the shadows of the alley, I shook my hair back out. If only my clothing didn’t scream “fugitive.” A glance at the bags on my arms, though, and my stomach flooded with warmth that pushed aside my fear and relaxed the tension that lingered in my shoulders.
The matter of navigating back through the city and dividing up the supplies took maybe an hour. My confidence was up, my heart full, when I heard the loud whoosh of dragon wings behind me.
Damnit.
I ducked into an alley, tucking myself into the shadows. Blood pulsed in my ears. Alec never patrolled this far into Fae territory. While I knew I could face him hand-to-hand, a wave of shame still rolled over me from our last encounter. I had failed, miserably, and cowering in the shadows was my penitence.
When the wings passed over, I waited several long seconds before I crept to the next building. Alec circled around again. Damnit, how many times a day did he do this? The game of cat-and-mouse continued for several more minutes as I inched closer to the Fae Safehouse, trying to still my trembling limbs. His circles grew so persistent at one point that I hunkered down in the shaded area next to a weathered shanty, prepared to wait him out.
A low voice broke the silence beside me, making me jump. “Mind explaining what you’re doing out here?”
I whirled, shoulders sagging in
relief when I met familiar green eyes staring down at me. Then I noted his rigid stature, arms tight over his chest, and the feeling was gone. I frowned. “Not at all. I was bored. Now shoo.”
Tarik’s left brow ticked upward as he slowly uncrossed his arms. “Bored? Shoo? Did you forget that the shifter circling above us is looking for you? And don’t forget what he’ll do if he finds you.” A deep crease formed between his brows at that.
My teeth ground together. “Thanks for the reminder, I’d completely forgotten. But I’ve been out here for a couple hours, and I’m still alive. You did your duty, I’m clearly safe. You can leave again.” I held my ground even as my chest tightened, sliding past him to take advantage of a break in Alec’s circles. I crept closer to the Safehouse. Tarik’s footsteps trailed me though, and I sighed.
“You can’t waltz around this city thinking no one will recognize you,” he said. “There’s a reward. Even people you thought you could trust might turn you in for a few coins. Think, Reagan. You’re not safe on these streets, not even in the Fae district.”
My emotions spiraled through a quick one-eighty. Arrogant, irritating prick. He only ever showed up when he felt like it. Or when I was in peril, like he could sense I was in danger, like he gravitated to trouble. Well I sure as hell wasn’t going to play his damsel in distress. I could see the last building before the Safehouse now—so close.
Pausing, I debated the cost before I snapped, “All I’ve done for days is think, Tarik. I can’t sit around by myself all the time. I’m bored and miserable. But then again, I guess the only way you’d notice something so trivial is if I managed to be in danger at the same time.”
Conflict roiled in my stomach. Part of me wanted to ask why he only showed up when I needed him. Why not before, why not after? I inhaled, then blew out a breath to expel my growing nausea.
When I moved forward again, he doggedly followed me, a splash of annoyance coloring his words now. “You have Nevaeh. And I’ve seen how several of the Fae children in the Safehouse respond to you. I do notice. But I’m . . . busy.”
Dawn till Dusk: An Urban Fantasy Romance (Genesis Crystal Saga Book 1) Page 22
