by Julie Cannon
“Why not?”
“Well, first of all I’m on the road three hundred days a year, and second, I don’t think I’m wired that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean intimacy. I just don’t feel that close to people and haven’t yet with a woman. So, when the mood hits, I strike, so to speak.” The crowd did a little more than giggle over that one.
Bibbie had a few more questions, and then the interview was over. She thanked me for my honesty, and when she hugged me
she whispered in my ear, “You’ve got guts, young lady. I admire you.”
The ride back to my coach was quiet. Jake didn’t say much, and I was all talked out. What else was there to say? The pundits, gossips, and news hounds would have plenty to keep their ratings up for days. Good for them. Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy was fine by me.
Reporters were waiting for me when Jake turned the corner to enter the secured parking area. They mobbed the car like ants converging on a sugar cube. Lights flashed, microphones and cell phones were pushed up against the car, waiting for a response to the dozens of questions they shouted at me.
“How old were you when you moved out?”
“What was the name of the bar?”
“Who was the guy that chased you down the hall?”
“Did he catch you?”
“When did you drop out of school?”
And those were just the ones I could understand. Others were simply a jumbled bunch of words, everyone talking over each other and making no sense. I’m sure those questions were very similar.
I got out of the car, held my head high, and walked toward the door to my coach. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone, and I certainly didn’t answer any questions. I’d told my story and had nothing more to say.
The raucous noise quickly retreated into mumbles when I closed the well-insulated door behind me. I leaned back against it and exhaled. I was exhausted. Completely exhausted. The last four hours had drained the life out of me. I told Jake I was going to bed and to inform the paparazzi I would not be making any more comments about my family. I knew better than to think they’d believe me and pack up and go home, but I didn’t care.
*
“Good night, Brewster!” The crowd roared, wanting another encore. I wasn’t up for it so I waved and walked off the stage. I went through the after-show motions almost on autopilot. Jake hovered beside me, stepping in whenever a question came up about the statements I’d made on the Bibbie Williams Show this afternoon. After about the fourth time I told him to take a hike, that I could manage on my own. Kiersten, however, was always near without being over-protective. All I needed to do was turn my head slightly, and I saw her milling around the beverage table or the snack tray. She was talking with several of the roadies but seemed to have had one ear tuned to my conversation.
Every time I looked for her she was there, often with a slight smile or nod. I felt safer with her than with Jake all over me like a blanket in summer. Kiersten had a calm, confident way about her that, lately, extended to me. I’d noticed I was a different person when I was with her. I no longer played the part of Tobin Parks around her.
She hadn’t said anything about the interview, but then again she really didn’t have an opportunity, and I hadn’t had a chance to pin her down about the conversation I’d overheard. I guess we both had things we didn’t want flown from the nearest flagpole.
It was quiet in the coach when I finally went inside. The stark difference in the noise level, let alone the energy level, always surprised me. One minute I was rich and famous, and everyone wanted a piece of me. The next I was just a twenty-five-year-old woman alone.
Being alone doesn’t bother me. It was my time. Time to regroup, pull myself together, and disappear into music. My music. But tonight when I came in, the coach just felt empty. I knew immediately Kiersten wasn’t there. The last time I saw her she was in the corner of the room, her phone in one hand, the other over her ear trying to hear above the noise. She did not look happy. A wave of claustrophobia had come over me, and I’d just had to get out of the commotion, pressure, and demands on me, so I left word with one of the roadies I was going back to my coach.
I toed off my boots and unbuttoned my shirt. A flashback of Kiersten touching my collar just before I stepped onstage tonight took my breath away. She had called me back, and when I turned to her she’d reached up and adjusted my shirt collar. Her fingers had grazed the back of my neck, and her breath was like a caress on my face. I’d searched her dark eyes, looking for a message. Did she want me as much as I wanted her? Did she feel the same connection and energy I felt when we were together? Did she feel the same emptiness when we were apart? She’d kissed me on the cheek. “Play a new song.”
My nipples tightened as I remembered the touch of her fingers, the way her eyes burned, and the way her lips felt on my skin. God, I had it bad for this woman.
I showered and put on a pair of jeans, leaving my feet bare. As soon as Kiersten got here we were going to hit the road. We had one more show before the end of this tour. Three more days until she left.
The door opened behind me, and my pulse raced when Kiersten walked in. There was nothing special about the way she looked. She was as gorgeous as ever. There was nothing special about what she was wearing, other than the fact that I’d had to convince her to wear the Tobin Parks T-shirt. But when she walked into the room or was anywhere near me, my body came alive.
“Hey,” she said, closing the door behind her.
“Hey, yourself.”
“I looked for you. Didn’t know you’d already left.”
She’d looked for me. That made me feel all warm inside. “I left word with one of the roadies. I just needed to get away.”
She sat on the other end of the couch, a respectable distance from me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” She looked at me skeptically. “Okay. I’m a little tired.” I’ve never admitted I’m anything other than perfect.
“You’ve had a busy twenty-four hours.”
I laughed but it wasn’t funny. “That’s one way to put it.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Only the part about last night.” I saw her blanch and knew she immediately regretted her question. “Only if you want to.” It just felt right to add that.
I watched as Kiersten debated whether she wanted to go there, wherever there was. A muscle in her jaw tightened, and after a moment she lifted her gaze to mine.
“No,” she said quietly but firmly.
Shit, now what? No, she didn’t want to talk about it or no to my question. I looked at her, mentally imploring her to elaborate. I didn’t know how far to push.
“The answer to your question last night. No. I’ve never been with a woman.”
I was stunned. Even though I’d approached the possibility last night, I hadn’t expected her admission. How could that be? She was elegant and sophisticated in her business attire, chic, classy, and beautiful in her party dress. She was breathtakingly beautiful when she laughed and incredibly hot when she was angry. She was charming, funny, smart, and whimsical. She made me think, defend my actions, see the other side, and…my God…she’d made me grow up.
A jolt of awareness shot through me. I was a different person since Kiersten came into my life. I was no longer the playgirl. No longer the girl who didn’t have a care in the world other than my next lay. My life was empty. The women, parties, interviews, fans flocking around me were only there to fill time. God, what a mess I was. I wanted to get off this merry-go-round.
“You’re probably asking yourself how can that be? No one is a virgin at thirty-six.”
“I’m certainly not one to judge, Kiersten. Your life is your business.”
“I was severely overweight until I graduated from college,” she said. “As a result I had no confidence and certainly never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend once I figured that one out.” She scowled. “As time
went by it was harder and harder to do anything about it.”
She stood, walked to the fridge, and took out two bottles of water. She came back and handed me one. “Courtney suggested I use a service.”
I choked on my mouthful of water, hoping it didn’t come out my nose. Talk about a mood killer. “A service? Like a…” I didn’t want to say the word for fear I’d gotten it wrong. “Someone who…well…you know.”
I could see she was embarrassed, but she continued.
“I can’t do that. I mean, I’m not saving myself until marriage or anything like that, but the idea of paying someone…I guess it just sounded too clinical.”
I nodded, encouraging her to keep talking.
“That’s what you overheard. Courtney was trying to convince me to tell you.”
“Why would you tell me?” When she didn’t answer, I said, “Kiersten? Why would you tell me?” I thought I knew the answer, but no way was I going to jump to any conclusions here.
“We’d had this debate whether someone who was a virgin should tell the person they’re with before, during, or after.”
My heart beat a little faster. “Before during or after what?”
“Having sex with them.”
“And Courtney’s view was…” I asked, prompting her.
“Tell you before,” Kiersten said, not looking at me.
Me? Did she say tell me? Not only was my heart beating, but my clit was keeping the same fast beat. “And what was your position?”
“That no way in hell was I going to embarrass myself by telling Tobin Parks I was a virgin.” Her words came out in a rush.
“Why not?” She didn’t answer. I rose and walked over to her. “Why not?” I asked softly.
“Because Tobin Parks would laugh at me. Tobin Parks, who can have any woman she wants, who has had more women at her age than I will have in ten lifetimes, would laugh at me. And that would kill me.”
My heart swelled with something very unfamiliar. This woman. This woman who has everything wants to give me something so beautiful.
“Kiersten, look at me,” I said, my voice gentle. “Kiersten, look at me,” I said again, a little more forcefully. It took her a moment, and before she did I saw her inhale deeply, setting up her defenses for whatever I would say. Her eyes were filled with doubt but steely resolve.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” She nodded. “Do you want to kiss me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to touch you?” Again, same answer. “Do you want to touch me?”
Her answer this time came out in a whisper. “Yes.”
My knees almost buckled. I’d felt passion and desire before, even lust, but never a yearning to possess. What once was just sex, a simple, uncomplicated bodily function, was now something much, much more. I needed to please Kiersten like I’d never needed to before. I wanted to do it for her, not for me.
“This has nothing to do with JOLT,” I said. “You need to know that.” I didn’t want Kiersten to think that the way to get the sponsorship of my tour was through her undies.
“I don’t care.”
Her words shocked me. I didn’t want her to think less of me. I wanted to be better than that for her, for me. “I do. This is not about JOLT,” I repeated. I looked deep into her eyes for several long moments until I was positive she believed me.
“You know what?” I asked playfully.
“What?” Kiersten asked.
“You owe me, and this seems like the perfect time to collect.”
“I owe you what?” Her look of apprehension turned to confusion.
“A kiss.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “A kiss?”
“That’s right. We bet that your mother would hear about your date to your reunion in less than twenty-four hours. You owe me a kiss.” I saw her start to relax.
“And I always honor my bets,” she said, surprising me.
“Then kiss me.” This time my voice was little more than a whisper. “Right here,” I added, pointing to my right cheek. I inhaled when Kiersten lowered her head and brushed her lips on my cheek. “And right here,” I said, pointing to the other one. She repeated the kiss, and I pointed to the edge of my mouth. “And here.” This time the other side of my mouth.
“That was more than one kiss.” Kiersten was teasing me, raising her head and looking at my mouth.
“And right here.” I pointed to the center of my lips. Kiersten stared at the place I indicated, and I wasn’t sure I was even breathing anymore. The pounding in my chest was so loud I couldn’t hear my own thoughts. This kiss would forever change my life and surely change hers. A heartbeat later she lowered her head and kissed me.
Chapter Forty-four
My body exploded in sensation. Tobin’s lips were as soft and electric as I remembered them to be. My pulse raced, my heart hammered, and I couldn’t breathe. It was like no other kiss before. It was hot and wet and demanding. My tongue went into her mouth, and my arms slid around her neck. I pressed my body to hers. I couldn’t get close enough to her. I finally broke the kiss, breathless and gasping for air.
“Kiss me here,” Tobin said, pointing to the edge of her strong jaw. “And here, and here, and here.”
I followed her commands one by one and kissed every place she indicated. Her hands were in my hair, holding me close, and I was thrilled that I was exciting her.
“Keep kissing me and take off my shirt.”
Again I did as I was told, and somewhere around the third or fourth button her demands turned to requests. She was telling me what to do, what she wanted, not telling me what to do. I pushed her shirt off her shoulders and trailed my fingers over her hot skin. She shivered under my touch, and my confidence soared.
“Touch my breasts.”
Tentatively I reached out, my hands trembling slightly. I cupped each one, which fit perfectly in my palm.
“Pinch my nipples.” Her voice was hoarse.
Her breasts were full and heavy in my hand and seemed to swell as I touched them. I slid my fingers over her nipples, and she moaned into my mouth. I dropped my head and kissed her neck as my fingers found and pinched the tight peaks.
“Oh, God, I like that,” Tobin said in more of a sigh than a statement.
“Lick them,” she said after a few minutes. Her fingers were digging into my waist, and I bent my head farther.
My tongue lightly slid over one nipple, then the other, and she sagged against me.
“Oh, God, that feels good.”
I could say the exact same thing if I could manage to say anything at all. But I couldn’t.
“Suck them, hard.”
Oh, God, this was everything I’d thought it would be and more. She tasted like strawberries and woman as I took one breast, then the other into my mouth. They were small and fit perfectly into my palm and even better in my mouth.
“Harder,” Tobin croaked, and I happily gave her what she wanted. I sucked a tight nipple into my mouth. A moment later she grabbed my face with both hands and pulled me up into another searing kiss. I rocked my hips into her.
“Put your thigh between mine.”
I did, and the image of our dance at my reunion flashed into my mind. It had been slow and sensuous, nothing like this red-hot heat between us now.
“Unsnap my pants,” Tobin said between kisses. “Slide down the zipper.”
She hadn’t got the word out before I had it all the way down. My fingers itched and tingled to get inside. Fortunately I didn’t need to wait long.
“Slide your hand into my pants. Slowly,” she added. “Feel everything, imagine what this feels like for me. Make me want it. Desperately.”
I didn’t know if she was talking about me or her. The anticipation was driving me crazy, the need to feel her warm wetness on my fingers driving me forward. I was desperate to touch her.
“Touch me, now.”
Three simple words. Not the three that most people wanted to hear, but they were the most powerful and nee
dy I had ever heard.
I moved my hand farther south, holding my breath for the instant my dreams became reality. It was my turn to moan in pleasure when I felt soft, hot, wet flesh. Tobin wrapped her arms around my neck and fell back against the wall.
I moved with her, pinning her back to the hard surface. My mouth was on her breasts licking, sucking, and biting while I caressed and stroked her sex with my fingers. I felt the rigid nub of her clitoris grow harder, and she was rocking against my hand. I felt powerful and completely female with the ability to give this woman such pleasure.
“Oh, God, Kiersten, just like that,” Tobin cried out, her voice muffled by her hands wrapped around my head holding me in place.
Her sex grew in my palm, dripping with excitement, heat filling my soul. I opened my eyes and looked down at my hand in her pants. The scene wasn’t crude or sordid but the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Tobin stiffened, and I increased the pressure and speed of my fingers on her clit. Her body was telling me what to do now, and I wouldn’t disappoint her.
“Ugh…ugh…ugh” Tobin moaned as she came in my arms. Her sex spasmed, and I came right after she did.
*
I caught my breath before my head cleared. It might have been the other way around, but it really didn’t matter. Sometime during our little tryst my pants had fallen to the floor, but Kiersten’s hand was still on me. I’d had orgasms with the women I’d been with, but never this powerful, and never had I allowed any of them to touch me. My legs started shaking, threatening to topple us both.
“Kiersten,” I said, running my hands through her silky hair. She was still breathing fast, her face buried in my neck. “I need to sit down. Better yet, I need to lie down.”
She lifted her head but didn’t look at me. I kissed her gently before speaking. “You killed me, but if I don’t lie down, we’ll both end up on the floor. Not that that’s a bad idea, but the bed is much softer, don’t you think?”
