by Bob Blanton
The Stone
After three days on the barge, the students had settled into a pattern. They would ride the barge for a few hours in the morning, some of them riding bicycles on the paths beside the canal. During the day, they would make one stop to tour a town, a museum or some other significant site. After the tour they would continue down the canal. At the end of each day the captain would tie the barge up for the night. They ate all their meals on the barge. The food was really good; the chef prided himself on making the most out of the barge’s galley.
They had toured a chateau and its winery on the first day. The second day they had visited Agde, an ancient Roman city on the Herault River. And today they were going to see an old monastery. Mrs. Jefferies had a busy itinerary planned for her students.
Last night the barge had tied up just below a small village. They had just finished breakfast and were preparing to cast off when the Captain had the crew re-tie the barge.
Mrs. Jefferies came on deck talking to the Captain over her shoulder, “How long did you say, three hours? Okay.” She called the students together, “Everyone, the Captain says that there was an accident at the lock up ahead. Traffic will be backed up for about three hours. That means we’ll be staying here until it clears. You can walk around the village or along the canal. It’s a beautiful day, so let’s take advantage of it and spend some time relaxing. Everyone needs to be back here by 11:30, and we’ll have lunch on board as we head out. Got it?”
The students, delighted at having some real free time, hardly waited for her to finish before they started out. Jason walked over to Matthew, “Hey Matt, let’s go to the village and get some more choline,” he said. “Boy, Tyler is sure starting to stink. Everyone’s starting to keep their distance.”
“Yeah, he’s become a regular Mr. Popularity,” Matthew said grinning from ear to ear.
“Should we up the dosage?” Jason asked holding his nose as he talked.
“No, I think that’s as bad as it gets. I couldn’t stand it if it got any worse. We’ve still got to ride with him.” Both of them started laughing, holding their sides as they watched Tyler heading out to the village without his usual entourage.
“Now the fun really begins -- time to get inside old Tyler’s head.”
“I don’t think there’s much room in there,” Matthew said, chuckling at his own joke.
“While we’re in town, we’ll get some deodorant, several different brands, and some soap. We’ll leave him a few care packages, so he knows how much everyone is enjoying the new Eau de Tyler.”
“We should get some gift bags.”
Jason turned back to Matthew with a blank look on his face. “Why?”
“Girls use gift bags, dummy.”
“Good idea, I’ll make a delinquent out of you yet,” Jason slapped Matthew on the leg, “Let’s go.”
“Would you mind going alone?” Matthew asked.
“Why?”
“I’d like to do some forms work; I haven’t had a chance to do any since we’ve been on the trip.”
“Hey, knock yourself out,” Jason said. “I’ll see if I can bump into Alex in town. You sure you don’t want to come?”
“No, go ahead.”
Jason headed off the boat. “See you later.”
Matthew decided he would use this time to work on his Tai Chi since it was the hardest to keep sharp. He would have to do a couple of Tai Chi forms for his black sash test, so he needed to practice. Spying an outcropping of rock a few hundred yards east of the canal, Matthew headed for it. He didn’t want anyone watching him while he practiced. The rocks would provide both shade from the sun and a screen from his classmates. When he rounded the rocks, out of sight of everyone, he took off his sweatshirt; there would be no need to ward off the morning chill once he started his workout. Matthew’s instructor was always telling him he didn’t practice his Tai Chi often enough.
“Matt, you’ve got to work on your Tai Chi,” Mr. Lee would say. “You’re using too much force when you spar. You need to learn to use your body better, use internal energy.” Mr. Lee would demonstrate a strike. It would always be an explosive punch or kick, and it would come out of nowhere. “Practicing your Tai Chi will teach you to stay relaxed. If you’re relaxed, you’ll be fast, and that will make your Kung Fu better. Then you’ll be able to fight with less effort and be more aware of your opponent.”
Matthew knew Sifu Lee was right. Whenever he sparred with him, it was as if he was standing still while Sifu was just gliding around him. He couldn’t believe how fast Sifu Lee could kick or punch. His strikes came out of nowhere, dead on target and they hurt like hell. Whenever he got lucky enough to get a strike past Sifu’s blocks, with just a slight twist of his body, Sifu Lee would either avoid his strike completely or redirect it so that it just glanced off.
Even when Matthew sparred with the guys he could beat; he could never hit them as hard as Sifu could hit him. What really drove him crazy was that Sifu did it without seeming to try. And to make matters worse, he knew Sifu was holding back so as not to hurt him. He’d once seen him hit one of the adult students who had been getting cocky. The guy got out of line, going off on a new green sash student during sparring. So Sifu decided to teach him a lesson. It looked like Sifu only tapped him in the center of his chest protector but the guy had dropped like a rock. He didn’t fall over; he went straight down. His legs buckled under him and he just collapsed. “All that through a one-inch pad. What would have happened if the guy wasn’t wearing a chest protector?” Matthew thought.
“Man, I’d give anything to be able to hit like that.” Matthew could hit hard, even the adult men he sparred with would comment on how hard he hit. But Matthew knew that his punch delivered less than half of the power that Sifu Lee’s did. Even when they were fighting in close, with no room between them, Sifu’s strikes hurt as if he’d had a full windup. There was no way Sifu could have had more than a couple of inches of room to swing in.
“Well if you want to hit like that, you’d better work on your Tai Chi,” Matthew thought.
With that he went through the short form as slowly and as relaxed as he could. Then he did the 48-step form. This form had more interesting moves in it, so Matthew enjoyed it more than the short form. When he finished, he felt a mild vibration deep inside himself. “Strange, usually I only feel this kind of buzz after meditation,” Matthew thought as he rubbed his arms down the way he did after meditation.
Meditation was a part of martial arts that Matthew enjoyed, although he didn’t do as much as he was supposed to. Unlike most of the students at the martial arts school, he could handle the meditation without problem. Once in a while, when the instructors had the group class do standing meditation, they’d get carried away and leave the class meditating for fifteen or twenty minutes. Everyone in the class would be groaning by the end, their muscles screaming as they struggled to stay relaxed. But Matthew could just stand there and disappear inside himself, totally unaware of the passing time, until the instructor told them to stop. When he meditated at home, he had to set an alarm or he would go so long that he’d wind up being late for school or some other activity. If he was especially stressed or tired, he would do thirty minutes of standing meditation and when he finished, he’d feel like he had just awakened from a night’s sleep.
“Well I’ve got another thirty minutes and I don’t want to get too sweaty,” Matthew thought, “might as well do some meditation, especially since just doing the form made me feel so harmonized.”
Matthew moved to a spot that was even more sheltered by the rocks. He didn’t want anyone to see him meditating; he’d be sure to get a load of grief about that. He looked around; nobody would see him in this crevice. He set his watch for a thirty-minute countdown and starting meditating.
Matthew closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose. He followed the breath with his mind. It went down his throat and deep into his lungs. The breath filled his lower ribcage, expanding his back. He kept his ch
est relaxed and calm as he breathed deep. After following the breath deep into his lungs, he visualized it spinning in his dantium, the spot in the center of his body just below his navel. Then he followed the breath back up his throat and out his mouth. Deep and relaxed, he breathed. He felt his limbs expand and contract with the breath, expanding and turning into nothing, then contracting and compacting back into his body. Slowly, breathing in and out, he could feel his body vibrate to the rhythm. It was like a deep humming or buzzing. It grew stronger, stronger than it ever had before. The vibration grew so strong that Matthew started to think he could hear it. In and out his breath went, deeper and deeper.
Thousands of feet below the surface and miles away, the vibration was resonating with the stone. This was the summons it had been anticipating for over 1500 years. It continued to resonate with the rhythm of Matthew’s mind, and prepared to leave its chamber. As the vibration grew stronger, the chamber started to glow blue, the glow grew brighter and brighter. A bright blue orb appeared and started to rise. It kept rising, going up through the earth, passing through the rock and dirt as if they were air, while another blue orb started to shine behind the stone. The first orb kept rising until it touched Matthew’s mind. It hovered in front of his third eye, brushing him between his eyebrows.
Matthew felt the orb brush against his face. He turned his head and the orb followed. In the chamber, the stone disappeared through the orb in the chamber and popped out in front of Matthew’s face. Then the stone fell straight down and struck Matthew on the foot. “Ouch,” he yelled. The orb collapsed while Matthew was hopping around on one foot grabbing the other foot in his hand. “What was that?”
Matthew looked down to see what had struck him. All he saw was a flat, circular stone about the size of a small drink coaster “Who threw that at me?” he wondered, looking all around. He was surrounded by rocks and couldn’t see anybody around. “It must have slid down from the top of one of those rocks.”
Bending down, Matthew picked the stone up and examined it. It seemed to vibrate in his hand, the same kind of vibration he was feeling from his meditation.
“Hmmm, that’s weird,” Matthew thought. “I must still be feeling it from the meditation.”
“Nice stone, smooth, must be made of granite,” Matthew thought as he turned the stone over in his hand. “Look at this.” Matthew rubbed his finger over the lines he’d discovered etched in the stone. He licked his fingers so he could clean the dust out and make the lines show more clearly.
“It must be some kind of ancient writing.” As he rubbed the stone with his finger, he noticed a small hole on the edge. “There’s even a hole in it, like what you’d run a string through so you could hang it around your neck.” Matthew stuck the stone in his pants pocket then put his sweatshirt on before heading back to the barge. He was still trying to figure out how the stone could have fallen and hit him on the foot as he started walking back.
When Matthew got back to the barge, he dug through his luggage until he found the leather string he brought as a spare shoelace for his deck shoes. It took him a while to get it to go through the hole in the stone, but eventually he prevailed. He tied the ends of the string together and hung the stone around his neck.
Matthew looked at himself in the mirror. The carving on the stone was toward his chest so he turned the stone around. It flipped back over. Matthew rolled his eyes and took it off. He re-tied the leather thong, putting the knot at the back of the stone so that it would have to stay turned one way. Then he put the stone back on, slipped it inside his shirt and went on deck to wait for Jason. When Jason boarded the barge, Matthew waved. Jason gave him the thumbs-up sign, pointing at his backpack. They immediately went to their stateroom to confer.
“Hey Matt, I got the stuff, are you ready for the real fun?” Jason asked. “Today we’ll start messing with his head; first we’ll leave a deodorant soap in his stateroom, and this time we’ll just toss it on his bed.”
“He’ll assume it’s one of us guys and blow it off.”
“Yes, but tomorrow, we’ll leave one in one of the gift bags like you suggested, and we’ll add a note.”
“Right, we need to figure out how to word it, something like ‘Oh Tyler, you’re too nice to not smell nice.’” Matthew fell over on his bed laughing.
“Good, that’ll get him thinking that the girls are noticing the smell. He’ll go nuts.”
“Sounds positively devilish. Just how much practice have you had doing this kind of stuff?”
“Plenty, a man’s got to find some way to stay entertained. I’ve got eight bars, and a few different brands of deodorant. By next week he’ll think that half the kids on the tour think he stinks bad enough to give him a hint.”
“Yeah, if half of us leave him a message, he’ll be sure to think everyone is noticing the smell.”
“We should keep up the treatment in his sports drink for a couple of days. Then if we get a chance, we’ll have to plant the idea that it’s the sports drink that makes him stink.”
“But then he’ll quit drinking them,” Matthew said. “How will we be able to keep feeding him the stink-um?”
“Don’t worry, Matt, we can quit then. He’ll never drink that stuff again. And you know the football coach swears by it. You’d think he had an endorsement contract for the stuff.”
“Sure, he thinks it’s important for the team to stay hydrated and keep their electrolytes up.”
“Right, he’ll have a fit when Tyler won’t drink it.”
“Jason, you’re truly sick. Remind me to never cross you. I don’t need you messing with my head.”
“Don’t worry, now which one do you want to leave first?”
“How about the Old Spice?”
“Great, you check the passage and signal when it’s clear; then I’ll toss it on his bed. I’m sure everyone is topside now.”
With that they worked their way down the passage to Tyler’s stateroom. Matthew went on down to the ladder to make sure no one was coming. Everyone was off toward the side as the crew cast the lines off to send the barge on its day’s journey, so Matthew gave Jason the thumbs up. Jason opened the door to the stateroom, glanced in to make sure it was empty then tossed the Old Spice on the bunk with Tyler’s sports bag on it.
“There you go old boy,” Jason said. “Hope you go insane worrying about what a stinker you are.” Jason closed the door and hurried to join Matthew on deck. They were able to go up the ladder and blend into the group without anyone noticing.
Life Can’t Get Any Better
It took thirty minutes to get the teenagers organized and on board. Eventually the Captain was able to have the crew cast off. Once they were underway, everyone went into the dining hall for lunch. During lunch Mrs. Jefferies briefed everyone on the history of the monastery they were going to tour that afternoon. The tour would be abbreviated due to the delay, but they would still have two hours to go through the place.
“Now as many of you already know, it was a monk from a monastery just like this one who invented Champagne,” Mrs. Jefferies said. “Does anyone know the name of the monk?”
Tyler cracked, “His name was probably Champignon.”
“No, that’s mushroom,” Alex said, “it was Dom Pérignon.”
Matthew jabbed Jason in the ribs, “Hey your sweetie thinks Tyler’s a jerk, too. Maybe there’s enough there for you two to build on.”
Jason popped Matthew on the shoulder and leaned over, “Shish, she’s looking right at us.”
“Now class, settle down!” Mrs. Jefferies said, stamping her foot. “That’s correct Alex. Dom Pérignon developed the process for Champagne. Today one of the world’s best champagnes still bears his name. As some of you may know, monks also spent their time perfecting beer. They had to fast often, and while fasting they were only allowed to drink fluids. So it didn’t take long for them to develop beers that were high in food content. The stoutest beers were developed by monks to help them through their fast.”
“With enough beer, you wouldn’t know you were fasting,” Tyler quipped. Then he looked around to make sure everyone was laughing. “That’s my kind of suffering.”
Jason leaned over to Matthew. “The jerk can be funny, can’t he?”
“Sure, sure, but he still stinks, literally and figuratively.”
After more discussion on the monastery and the lives of monks, Mrs. Jefferies told everyone to get ready for the tour. The barge would reach the monastery dock in about thirty minutes.
The class broke up and everyone headed to their staterooms to gather up their stuff for the day. Jason and Matthew hung back so they would be behind Tyler when he went into his stateroom. Tyler bounced down the ladder ducked his head under the crossbeam and headed for his stateroom. Jason and Matthew had to hurry to keep up with the quarterback. Tyler entered his stateroom leaving the door open. He grabbed his backpack, almost missing the Old Spice on his bed. When he saw it, he grabbed it quickly, muttering under his breath, so Jason and Matthew could barely hear him. “Jerks, it’s not that bad.” He tossed the Old Spice into his sports bag. Jason and Matthew had to hurry to their stateroom to avoid being seen by Tyler when he came out of his.
“All right, did you hear that?” Jason jumped onto his bunk, landing on his side and clutching his ribs while he laughed.
“Yeah, we’re getting to him.”
“We’d better quit laughing or someone will hear us. It’ll only take a few more days. He’ll be going nuts trying to figure out how to get rid of the smell.”
“You know it. Did you notice how strong his cologne was this morning?”
“Yeah, the cologne is actually making him smell worse.”
“I know. Everyone was giving him funny looks at breakfast.”
“Let’s get going.” Jason hid the packages of deodorant and soap in his luggage. Then he and Matthew headed out to join the rest of the class. As they approached the gangway to go ashore, they crowded against Emily and Alex.
“Hey Alex, you really nailed that Dom Pérignon question,” Jason said in a low voice as he sidled up beside her.
