“So,” Margot said changing the subject. “Can we expect to see Brady more over winter break?”
Chloe snapped to attention, hating that her forward sister was bringing Brady up in front of everyone. She needed to take hold of the conversation before Margot started fishing for details of what she and Brady had talked about at the lodge. “Yes. Actually, he’s coming by tomorrow morning. He wanted me to ask if anyone wanted to go snowmobiling?”
Owen’s face lit up. “No way?! Can we? I’ve always wanted to try that.”
Margot grinned. “Of course. That’s a great idea, Chloe. We can all go.”
Chloe turned to her father. “As long as you don’t need us at the lodge in the morning.”
“I think I can spare you for a few hours,” her father replied, giving her a wink.
Margot clapped her hands. “Yay!”
The rest of the dinner was filled with stories about snowmobiling and other outdoor winter activities Owen wanted to try, but Chloe had a hard time focusing. She couldn’t stop thinking about Ethan and what could’ve possibly made him leave the table so abruptly. Normally, her curiosity would make her determined to find out, but there was something about the sadness in Ethan’s eyes that made Chloe afraid to dig deeper.
17
Chloe
After dinner Chloe decided to go to her bedroom to work on some homework. She did have schoolwork to do, but it was more of a self-imposed grounding than anything else. She needed to get her emotions under control. She still had no idea why Ethan had left the table. Or what to do about the way kissing him made her feel.
It didn’t help that suddenly Brady was back in her life. Sorting out her feelings for one mysterious boy was trouble enough. But now Brady was begging for forgiveness and saying all the things she would’ve killed to hear three months ago.
Was it too late for them to be anything more than friends? Or was Margot right? Could this Christmas bring second chances?
And what about Ethan?
Everything about him seemed to draw Chloe in. From the moment she’d met him, Ethan had become an all-consuming force. She felt herself being pulled into his web of intrigue, but the closer she got the more tangled her heart felt. Every kiss snared her emotions deeper and if she wasn’t careful she’d find herself caught in the web of a boy who may very well take the broken pieces of her heart back to New York City after Christmas.
Was she crazy to even think she had a chance with him?
He’d seemed interested in her in the forest today, but she couldn’t understand why. All she’d done was upset him with her questions and indecisiveness.
Chloe sighed and flopped backwards onto her bed. She hugged her, Read-Sleep-Repeat, pillow to her chest and closed her eyes willing herself to not think about boys. But it was impossible. The last twenty-four hours had been filled with the two most perfect kisses of her life. The fact that neither of them were with Brady said something that her heart refused to let Chloe ignore.
She wasn’t dating Brady anymore, so she shouldn’t feel guilty about kissing Ethan, but for some reason she did. Truthfully, Chloe was still confused about her feelings for Brady. But that hadn't been why she stopped kissing Ethan in the pine trees. She’d stopped because she was afraid Margot or her father would catch them at any moment. Of course that had also been the thing that made the kiss that much more exhilarating.
Chloe couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. If she had thought the midnight cocoa kiss was amazing then the pine tree forest kiss was epic. It was the thing of romance movies. She could still feel the burn of Ethan’s lips against her cold skin. It made her shiver just thinking about it.
God, she was in deep with this boy. Chloe kissed him twice and it felt like he’d somehow erased all common sense. She'd honestly been surprised Ethan had wanted to kiss her a second time after the way she reacted last night. Who kisses a boy that looks like him and runs away?
Apparently she did.
“What’s wrong with me?” she muttered.
Chloe had been dumped by a boy she’d chased for years and run away from a boy who chased her. And now she had both of them running through her head.
“Just stop thinking about boys,” she ordered herself, opening her laptop.
She’d promised herself this winter break was going to be about healing and moving on and that meant she needed to focus on herself, not boys.
Ethan
Ethan glanced at the glowing bedside clock. It was nearly midnight again. He knew a second sleepless night wouldn’t bode well for him but he got up anyway. It’s not like he could sleep with Owen snoring in his ear.
They’d had another unpleasant conversation when he’d returned from dinner. Ethan shook his head as Owen’s words circled back through his mind.
“What did I say about screwing this up for me?” Owen snarled.
“I’m not trying to, but you didn’t hear what Chloe said,” Ethan argued. “She caught me off guard.”
“What did she say?”
“Something Mom used to say.”
Owen tensed. “I want you to leave our family drama out of this, E. I mean it. And stop whatever the hell you have going on with Margot’s little sister.”
“There’s nothing going on.”
“Good. Keep it that way.”
Ethan stared at his brother, sleeping soundly in the tiny bed. How was it that Owen could sleep so peacefully? Did he really feel nothing? Not even at Christmas?
Sighing, Ethan pulled on his sweats, grabbed his laptop and headed downstairs. He knew he was being foolish and blatantly ignoring his brother’s threats, but he couldn’t help hoping that maybe Chloe would be in the kitchen.
He was starving after skipping dinner. He shouldn’t have made such a big deal about the chili. And he didn’t know why he’d lied to Chloe. He’d had chili before. Only once. On a ski trip his family took to the French Alps. Ethan had been eleven. It was when his mother’s illness had first started. She hadn’t been diagnosed yet, but she was too sick to ski so Ethan spent most of the trip inside keeping her company. One day she ordered them each a bowl of chili and they ate it together in front of the fireplace. It meant so much to him, cuddling up with his mother for a rare informal meal.
He’d been lost in that memory when Chloe had startled him with her remark. For a moment it was like his mother was still there. It had been a very long time since Ethan felt a connection that strong. It was confusing. On one hand, he missed being able to recall the subtle details of his mother—the things she might say, the way she smelled, the exact shade of her blue eyes. But on the other hand, it was easier letting the memories dull. It made the pain more bearable.
Ethan knew the ache of losing his mother would never go away, but he’d thought he’d learned to live with it. But after spending just a few days with the Price family, he realized he hadn’t really been coping at all. He’d been avoiding. Avoiding life. Avoiding connection. Avoiding love.
As he walked into the empty kitchen he couldn’t fight the mixture of sadness that filled his chest. Chloe wasn’t there. He should be relieved. Owen was right. He shouldn’t pursue her. But knowing something and explaining it to his heart were two totally different things.
Although Ethan was hungry, he decided he’d rather starve than be caught snooping around the kitchen. Instead, he settled on the couch and fired up his laptop. The low flames of the dwindling fire still crackled in the hearth. He looked at the clock above the fireplace mantle. In exactly five minutes it would be December twenty-fourth—the day that changed everything.
18
Chloe
December 23 24
Dear Journal,
It’s almost Christmas Eve and I’m more confused than ever.
Brady said all the things I’ve been waiting to hear.
So why am I still thinking of Ethan?
Chloe glanced at the glowing red numbers on her alarm clock. It was two minutes after midnight. Technically that made it December twenty-fo
urth. It was already Christmas Eve. She crossed out the date on her journal entry and corrected it. Sighing, she gave up on writing. She didn’t know what to write anyway. Her head and her heart were a mess. The only hope of easing her nerves was downstairs—hot cocoa.
Ethan
Ethan frowned at the glowing lights on the Christmas tree closest to him. He used to love Christmas. Even though his parents weren't as warm and affectionate as the Prices’ he’d still enjoyed holidays with his family during his childhood. He had his mother to thank for that. She always took time to make him feel special at Christmas. Until she got sick.
His mother was diagnosed with lung cancer on December twenty-third. She’d never even smoked a cigarette. At the age of twelve, Ethan hadn’t really understood the significance of that. Or how unfair it was that some people, like his selfish father, smoked daily and remained healthy as a horse, while his mother ended up fighting for every breath.
The doctors told her she wouldn’t see another Christmas, but she was determined to prove them wrong. But in the end, they’d been right. His mother took her last breath on Christmas Eve the following year.
It was Christmas Eve again.
Ethan welcomed the ache that came with thinking of his mother. It was the only reminder he had left of her now. And although Ethan promised himself he wouldn't do it this year, he found himself opening his mother’s favorite Christmas movie on his laptop. Watching it without Owen made it less meaningful but Ethan's brother had long since outgrown the morbid Christmas Eve tradition.
Ethan had been lying by her side in the hospital bed they’d set up in their Fifth Avenue penthouse with his mother watching, Miracle on 34th Street, when he realized she felt cold. He pulled her blankets up a little higher. That’s when he noticed she wasn’t breathing.
He’d only been thirteen.
Taking a deep breath, Ethan focused on the laptop in front of him instead of the suffocating memories. He tried to steady the heavy emotions that threatened to smother him whenever he thought about that night.
Owen had been asleep when their mother died. Was that why he seemed less scarred now? Because their father had let him sleep through the coroner coming to cart their mother away? Because Owen hadn’t felt the cold of her flesh or seen the blue of her lips? Was that why Owen was still whole and Ethan never would be?
That night had only been the beginning of the nightmare for Ethan. In the years to come he would lose all the family he had in the world—all except Owen.
“And that’s why I find myself in the middle-of-nowhere for Christmas,” Ethan muttered, wiping his eyes with his shirtsleeves.
He was about to press play on the movie when he heard the stairs creak. He turned around to see Chloe standing there, glasses askew, chestnut hair piled haphazardly atop her head. He couldn't fight the smile that tugged on his lips.
It was impossible for him not to find her attractive. She’d been in the middle of a stretch when she noticed him on the couch and now her hands were frozen above her head. She certainly had the deer in headlights look down.
Damn, am I that terrifying, Chloe?
He guessed that explained why she’d run each time they’d kissed. Maybe the ex-boyfriend was only an excuse? Maybe she found him repulsive?
He was certainly empty enough inside to repel most people. Though the way Chloe had kissed Ethan back made him think otherwise.
“Hey,” he greeted. “Couldn’t sleep?”
She shook her head and continued into the room. “You?”
He shook his head, too. “Not with the way Owen snores.”
Chloe grinned. “Margot, too.”
Ethan snorted a laugh. “They’re perfect for each other.”
Just then Ethan’s stomach growled loudly.
Chloe looked at him quizzically. “Are you hungry?”
“I could go for some hot cocoa,” he added, loving the way her cheeks flushed even in the dark.
It was difficult for him not to be flirtatious with her. He wasn’t usually this forward but she just evoked a part of him that he wasn’t aware he had. Normally, he left the cheesy pickup lines to his player of a brother. But with Chloe it was like the words that came out of Ethan’s mouth developed somewhere other than his brain and he was unable to stop them from falling out of his mouth. Not that he minded. Because after the blush she smiled at him. And that smile . . .
Chloe, there’s not a lot I wouldn’t do to see that smile.
19
Chloe
Chloe tried to get her heartbeat to slow down. She couldn’t believe she’d run into Ethan two nights in a row. Was he some sort of insomniac or had he been waiting for her?
Chloe didn’t know which answer she preferred. She had to admit when she woke up her first thoughts had been of him.
Of course they had. She’d fallen asleep thinking of his kiss and when she woke up at nearly midnight she knew she’d never fall back asleep with Margot’s snoring. But ever the optimist, Chloe decided to make the most of her time and write in her journal. When that didn’t help she finally decided on a cup of hot cocoa.
As she dressed in her pink, fuzzy robe, she wondered, maybe even hoped, she’d run into Ethan in the hall again. It almost made her look for a cuter alternative to her unflattering bathrobe. But in the end, comfort won out and she bundled up to head downstairs with her book, leaving Darcy snoring away with Margot.
After making it down the hallway and the stairs without running into Ethan, Chloe had thought she was safe. So when she saw someone move on the couch she nearly had a heart attack. She tried to tell herself that was why her heart was pounding in her chest. But clearly, Ethan's handsome face illuminated by the firelight didn't help the matter.
She needed to distance herself from him until she knew what she wanted. She didn’t want to keep confusing him. Chloe kept her mind busy while she sorted through her hot cocoa stash, selecting a peppermint mocha mix to try. Tonight she managed to find a moderately tame Christmas mug. It was red with a candy cane striped handle and the words, Merry Christmas, printed in white. At least it was store-bought.
Chloe poured Ethan's hot cocoa into the mild holiday mug, saving the hand-painted penguin one for herself. She added some extra mini marshmallows, whipped cream and drizzled chocolate syrup on top of her concoction. Satisfied with her cocoa, she picked up both mugs and headed toward the living room, but she didn’t get far. Ethan was leaning against the doorframe watching her. His eyes held a keen curiosity that made her skin warm.
A few months ago she would’ve given anything to have Brady look at her like that. Now Chloe wasn't sure if anyone’s smoldering stare could compete with Ethan’s.
It was funny how quickly things could change. Two days ago she'd never heard of Ethan Hall. But he’d quickly become the center of her universe—despite how hard she was fighting to deny it.
Chloe forced herself to walk confidently toward him. She handed him the mug, her blood sizzling the moment their fingers touched.
“Thanks,” he murmured.
“You’re welcome,” she replied, making her feet continue to carry her away from him. Half of her wanted to just go back upstairs and hide in her bedroom but if she did that now she’d be doing it the rest of winter break and Chloe refused to be uncomfortable in her own home.
Plus, who was she kidding? She would do nothing but think about Ethan if she went upstairs now.
Chloe could feel his eyes on her while she moved about the living room, turning the fireplace up and collecting her favorite blanket. One of the three Christmas trees in the living room had forced her favorite reading chair into the foyer, so Chloe was faced with only the worn leather couch or tiny plaid loveseat. She chose the couch. It faced the fireplace and at least it was large enough to share if Ethan decided to join her.
He did.
At first he settled on the arm of the couch, sipping from his mug. “This is even better than last night’s cocoa,” he said.
“Wait till you try th
e cinnamon horchata,” she said. “That one’s my favorite.”
“Is that an invitation?”
Chloe could feel the air in the room change when Ethan spoke. Was he flirting with her?
Luckily when she looked at him she could see the amusement in his teasing smirk.
“So,” he said. “Pine trees and hot cocoa, huh? That’s what does it for you?”
She knew he was poking fun at her so she decided to go with it, holding up her book. “And don’t forget cheesy romance novels.”
He laughed.
The sound was thrilling.
“I like you better at night,” Ethan added.
Chloe almost choked on her cocoa. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
He shrugged. “Maybe just an observation.”
“Why do you like me better at night?”
“You talk more freely.” He slid onto the couch. “And sometimes you kiss me.”
Chloe laughed nervously, deciding to keep the teasing tone of their conversation, because she currently liked Ethan better at night, too. At least he wasn’t stabbing his chili and stomping away from her. “I kiss you during the day, too,” she teased, surprised by her boldness.
He shook his head. “No, I’m the one who kissed you today, Chloe.”
She swallowed hard. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t as bold as she thought. She couldn’t casually flirt with him. Not when he said her name like that. It made her heart go haywire. She swallowed again. “Ethan . . .”
He interrupted her. “I know you have a boyfriend you’re trying to get over.”
“An ex-boyfriend,” she corrected.
“Is that why you kissed me last night? To see if you’re over him?”
Chloe squirmed under his gaze. She didn’t know how to answer that question, because she didn’t really know the answer herself. She kissed Ethan because she’d wanted to—because the increasing attraction between them was becoming impossible to resist. And if she wasn’t careful, she was pretty sure she might kiss him again. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, Ethan. I’m sorry.”
The Winter Boyfriend: A Stand-Alone YA Contemporary Romance Novel (The Boyfriend Series) Page 10
