by Sara Shepard
“Thanks,” Caitlin said in a chipper voice. She gestured to Jeremy. “You know Jeremy Friday, right?”
Cam glanced at Jeremy, his eyes at half-mast. “Uh, no. Don’t think we’ve met.”
Jeremy’s jaw hardened. He stared at Cam’s outstretched hand but didn’t shake it. Caitlin knew exactly what he was thinking: Cam had met Jeremy a zillion times. He was one of Josh’s good friends and was always at the Fridays’ house. He was implying that Jeremy wasn’t important enough to remember.
Then another voice boomed. “Caitlin!”
Caitlin looked across the room. Josh, dressed as David Beckham circa his Manchester United days, sat on a chair, his bad ankle propped up on an ottoman. By the look of his spinning eyes, Caitlin guessed that he’d had several beers already. She gave him a little wave, and he waved back. “Are you going to sign my cast?” he asked loudly, holding up a big Sharpie.
Caitlin balked. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jeremy’s face growing redder and redder.
“C’mon!” Josh called out. “You said you would, remember!”
Caitlin’s heart sank. Just like that, Jeremy turned on his heel and stormed away. Caitlin gave Josh a half-apologetic, half-annoyed smile, then spun after Jeremy. She wanted to kick herself. She had said she’d sign Josh’s cast when he’d texted her about it earlier today.
Caitlin followed Jeremy into the hall, which was marginally quieter, save for the girl throwing up by the back door. “So, I guess your brother’s a little drunk,” she said, trying to sound lighthearted about it.
Jeremy cut a quick glance to her. “Do you even like me?”
Caitlin flinched, surprised by his intensity. “Why would you ask such a thing?”
Jeremy looked away. “It just seems like you’d rather have my brother back. Like maybe you’re having second thoughts.”
Caitlin sighed. Jeremy wasn’t stupid. On the one hand, she loved that about him—that he was so tuned in, so aware of her feelings. But on the other hand, it made it hard on both of them.
“No,” she said. “I don’t want Josh back.”
“When were you talking to him?”
She shrugged. “He texted me about his cast earlier. I agreed to sign it because I was trying to be nice.”
He scoffed. “Like he’s ever been nice to you.”
“That’s not fair,” Caitlin said. She took a deep breath. “Jeremy, you and I are going to have to deal with your brother going forward. I’m not going to be flat-out mean to him. You can’t get mad at me just for talking to him. We all share history. You have to try to meet me in the middle here—compromise a little. Which you haven’t seemed very willing to do lately.”
Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed together. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean . . .” Caitlin’s heart pounded. She so didn’t want to do this. But something had been bubbling inside her—everything had felt so off. She just had to say it.
“I mean I’m proud that I play soccer,” she blurted. “Yes, I’m still not sure it will be my life forever, but I enjoy it now, and it’s important to me. And you just . . . well, you seem pissed that I’m into it, honestly.”
Jeremy’s lips parted. “I was pissed because you broke our date—”
“Which I understand,” she cut him off. “But you made me feel so guilty. How was I supposed to know you were taking me to One Direction? It’s not like you told me beforehand.”
“Because it was supposed to be a surprise!”
Caitlin lowered her eyes. “I’m really sorry about that. But, I mean, I couldn’t just bail on my team. Initiation is once a year. It’s important that the captains are there.”
Jeremy shifted stiffly. Caitlin wondered if he was resisting rolling his eyes.
She sighed and kept going. “And these people here, some of them are my friends. I like going to parties, Jeremy. If you gave them a chance, maybe you’d like them, too.”
Jeremy made a face. “Doubt it.”
“Then maybe we’re too different,” Caitlin said quietly. She hated that she was saying it—she didn’t want to give Jeremy up. But she didn’t want him to be miserable with her, either, and he certainly looked that way right now.
Jeremy’s eyes widened. A hurt look crossed his face. But before he could say anything, Ava and Mac raced up, anxious looks on their faces.
“Have you seen Julie?” Ava said tightly.
Caitlin shook her head. Just hearing Julie’s name made her uneasy. She hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that something was seriously off with Julie last night. But she hadn’t told the others about it, hoping that Julie had just been in a mood.
“We need to find her—fast,” Ava said.
“Why?” Caitlin asked, her worry growing.
Ava and Mac looked at Jeremy. He backed up, his expression even more irritated than before. “I’ll see you later,” he snapped, heading for the door.
Caitlin caught his arm. “You’re leaving?”
“There’s nothing for me here,” he said, and turned to cut through the crowd.
“Jeremy!” Caitlin bellowed. “How are you getting home?” He’d come with her, after all.
But he didn’t turn back, ducking around a mummy and disappearing out the front door. Caitlin’s shoulders slumped. Had she lost him forever? Just like that? She wanted to go after him, but judging by the panicked expressions on her friends’ faces, something was seriously wrong.
Ava pressed something into Caitlin’s hands. “I found this at my house.”
Caitlin looked down. It was a dangling earring. “Okay . . .”
“It’s Julie’s. My dad found it in his bedroom.” Ava’s lips trembled. “The same bedroom with the balcony Leslie was pushed off of.”
“And I saw Julie in her car,” Mac broke in, “driving really slowly past Claire’s house on Wednesday night. She doesn’t live anywhere near Claire.”
Caitlin’s jaw dropped. “I went to see her yesterday,” she admitted. “And, um, I saw something on her porch. It was—it was fertilizer. Well, it’s used for fertilizer, but it’s potassium cyanide.”
Mac gasped and covered her hand with her mouth. “And you’re just telling us now?”
“Anyone could have fertilizer like that,” Caitlin protested, guilt flooding her. “And just because you saw Julie driving by Claire’s doesn’t mean anything. She could have been in that neighborhood for an entirely different reason.”
“But what about the earring?” Ava insisted.
Caitlin racked her brain. She wanted desperately to find some small detail, any tidbit of information, that would clear Julie. But she couldn’t think. There was just too much evidence pointing in the same direction.
“Why would Julie do this to us?” she breathed.
But Ava and Mac weren’t listening. They were both looking across the room, their gazes fixed on the same person.
Julie had come to the party after all.
CHAPTER THIRTY
JULIE STOOD IN THE DOORWAY leading from Nyssa’s vast double-height living room to the back hall. All around her were witches, ghouls, Kardashians, and Mileys, and even some kid who’d dressed up like the Twitter blue bird. Quite a few of them were staring at her, aghast. Others had smirks on their faces. Everyone was taking in how pale she clearly looked, how her hair was unwashed, how she was wearing a gray American Apparel tee and black Nike shorts—not exactly a costume. Julie Redding has become a freak, was surely what they were whispering. But it didn’t matter. After tonight, she’d never see any of them again. She just had to find Parker first. But as hard as she looked, she couldn’t find a pale blond girl in a dirty black hoodie.
Julie had a horrible feeling Parker had seen that post Claire had written to Mac. She deserves it, Parker had said that day in the woods. She’s a horrible person. Had that Facebook post about Mac been the straw that broke the camel’s back?
She’d been calling Parker nonstop since she realized she was missing, but Parker hadn’t answer
ed. Julie knew she’d come here. It was the only thing that made sense—and it broke her heart. Parker had promised. She was so much sicker than Julie realized. She desperately needed help, help that Julie could no longer provide. Julie just hoped she could find her friend and get her that help before Parker found Claire.
She felt someone’s hand on her shoulder and turned. Ava, Caitlin, and Mac swarmed around her. Caitlin looked really cute in her cheerleader costume, and Ava looked tall and stately in a simple black flapper dress. Mackenzie hadn’t dressed up and seemed a little rumpled. All three girls seemed guarded and almost fearful. “Julie, can we talk?” Ava asked.
Julie frowned. “I need to find—”
“It’s really, really important,” Caitlin cut her off.
Julie stared around at them. They were closing in on her, boxing her in.
“Okay,” she said carefully, her hackles going up. “But only for a sec. I’m sort of looking for someone.”
Mac visibly flinched. Ava took Julie’s arm and led her through the entryway and down a long hallway toward the bedroom wing. It was quieter there, though they could hear cackles from Nyssa’s room a few doors down. The faint smell of pot wafted toward them.
Julie looked at her friends, their stony expressions suddenly making her uncomfortable. She let out a nervous laugh. “What is it? You guys are freaking me out.”
They stared at her for a long moment. Finally, Ava spoke. “Is there anything you want to tell us?”
Julie felt a pull in her stomach. She had a lot to tell them . . . but she didn’t dare. “Um, about what?” she asked as casually as she could.
Ava pulled something small out of her pocket and dangled it in Julie’s face. “About this, maybe?”
Julie snatched it from her fingers. “That’s my earring! Where did you find it?”
Ava looked pained. “In my house. The day Leslie was attacked—in the same room.”
Julie’s heart plummeted, and her face crumpled into a pained expression. Parker. She must have borrowed it.
“And I noticed potassium cyanide on your porch,” Caitlin said in a small voice. “The same thing that killed Nolan.”
“I saw you driving around Claire’s house,” Mac added, looking just as tortured.
“Julie, what’s going on?” Ava cried. “Are you doing all this?”
Julie blinked hard, suddenly understanding. “Wait, you think I did it?” she blurted. But it made sense. She’d skulked by Claire’s house just to make sure Parker wasn’t there. Her mom had god-knows-what on the porch, and surely Parker had known that and stolen some. And Parker had worn Julie’s earrings when she pushed Leslie off the ledge.
“I know what it looks like,” she said. “But honestly, guys. It wasn’t me. You have to believe me.”
Ava looked disappointed. “Julie, all signs point to you. What are we supposed to think?” Her face crumpled. “The question is . . . why? Why would you do this to us?”
“Just trust me, okay?” Julie said frantically, her eyes darting back and forth. The music’s volume had been pumped up even louder, making her head swim. She craned her neck to look for Parker, worried she might be hunting Claire down. “I have an explanation for you, but I can’t get into it right now.”
She tried to move past them, but Ava caught her arm. “You have to get into it right now,” she hissed. “We’re not letting you go until you do.”
Something inside Julie snapped. “Let go of me!” she screamed.
“No can do,” Mac said, forming a wall behind Ava.
Julie struggled to get out of Ava’s grip. “Let go! I have to stop her!”
Caitlin’s brow furrowed. Mac cocked her head. Ava clamped even tighter on Julie’s arm. “Stop who?”
Julie stared at them crazily. God, she didn’t want to say the name out loud. As soon as it escaped her lips, she would betray Parker for good. “Isn’t it obvious?” she cried. “Who isn’t here right now? Who else knows about our list?”
“You, Julie!” Mac practically screamed. “You know! You’re the one behind this!”
“No, I’m not!” Tears formed in Julie’s eyes. She could practically feel Parker’s presence nearby, Parker witnessing this. Hating Julie. Finally realizing what a shitty friend Julie was, something Julie had known all along. She’d promised Parker she’d keep the secret. She’d sworn on her life never to tell a soul . . . and here she was, telling everyone.
She pressed her hands over her face. “I didn’t hurt anyone! It’s Parker, okay!” She wrenched away from Ava. “I’m trying to keep her safe. And I’m trying to keep Claire safe. But Parker is sick, guys, and if you don’t help me find her right now, she’s going to get Claire next.”
She looked up at the others, expecting expressions of shock . . . but also understanding. But Ava had gone pale. Caitlin had her hand pressed over her mouth. Mac looked almost . . . pitying. And it all seemed like they shared a secret, something they hadn’t let Julie in on.
Her skin began to prickle. “So are you coming, or what?” she asked sharply.
Finally Ava spoke, her voice unsteady. “You want us to come look for Parker?” she repeated.
“Parker . . . Duvall?” Mac whispered.
“Yes,” Julie spat. “Our friend. Parker Duvall.” She blinked at them. They all seemed to have frozen solid. “What?” she snapped. “Why aren’t you listening to me?”
“Julie,” Caitlin said quietly. She exchanged a glance with the others. Ava’s eyes were filled with tears. Mac’s chin bobbed.
Caitlin looked at Julie again, her expression sad and scared and very, very worried. “Julie. Parker’s been dead for over a year.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
AVA WATCHED AS JULIE REDDING, a girl she thought she knew, crumpled against the wall. Her whole body was trembling. “No,” she whispered. “That’s not true. You’re lying.”
Mac was crying now. “Julie, Parker’s dead. Her dad killed her. He . . . he beat her to death, that night she came home on Oxy.”
Julie covered her mouth. “No, he didn’t. She lived.”
Ava exchanged a devastated look with the others. “She didn’t,” she said softly, sadly. “We had all kinds of assemblies at school, way more stuff than we had for Nolan and Granger combined. You don’t remember?” Ava could remember perfectly. Parker had been killed just weeks after Ava’s mother’s death. Ava had only known Parker peripherally, through Nolan—they’d been such good friends, and Parker had been at Nolan’s house a few times when Ava was there, too. After they broke up and Nolan started all those rumors about her, Parker had actually approached Ava, offering her support. He can be such a dick sometimes, Parker had told her. Want me to talk to him for you? But Ava had said she’d be fine. Still, she’d been grateful for the offer of support.
She remembered the morning she found out Parker had been killed. At first, it was disguised as a suicide: Wild girl ODs after a night of partying. But soon enough, the truth came out because of all the wounds on Parker’s face and body.
“You were the one who stepped forward about her dad,” Ava said in a cracked voice. “You were the one who got him arrested. Her mom didn’t want to talk.”
“And you went to her funeral,” Mac said.
“You even spoke,” Caitlin added.
But Julie just blinked. Ava’s heart broke over and over. She’d read about post-traumatic stress disorder in psychology class last year; and they’d talked about it in more than one school assembly. It made sense, she supposed: Julie had been Parker’s best friend.
But could Julie have gone this long without anyone realizing that she was delusional? Could she have lived through the funeral and the loss . . . and then blacked it all out?
Caitlin reached out and tried to take Julie’s hand, but Julie recoiled. “That’s not true!” she screamed, so loudly the voices in Nyssa’s room were silent for a moment before bursting into hysterical, wasted laughter. “Parker’s been with us the whole time. You’re telling me she wasn’t
in our film studies class? She was the one who initiated that whole conversation!”
Ava blinked. “No, Julie. You did. You were the first person to say who you’d want gone.”
“In fact, you said two people,” Caitlin added. “Parker’s dad . . . and then Ashley.”
Julie shook her head. “Parker said Ashley. Not me. She started the conversation. She was with us at Nolan’s party. And Granger’s house!” Everyone shook their heads, but she seemed not to notice. “She’s here now, too! She’s the killer!” Her voice and face were practically unrecognizable. “She’s the one doing all this, and I know it sounds crazy, but she wanted to help us. She was just trying to protect us. Of course it’s wrong—I know that. But her heart was in the right place.” She raised a trembling hand and pointed at Caitlin. “You finally have solace because Nolan’s gone.” She gestured at Ava. “And admit it, you would be thrilled to be free of Leslie. You’d have your father back.”
“Shhh!” Ava hissed, her eyes widening. There were so many people around. So many people could hear.
“Parker meant well,” Julie insisted, her voice strangely calm and cold. She fixed Mac with a pointed stare. “None of those people deserved to die—not even Nolan. Which means I have to find Parker before she kills Claire. And you guys are going to let me do that.”
Julie burst forward, knocking Mac roughly against the wall, and dashed down the hallway before any of them could react. They scrambled after her, but she was gone, swallowed up by the crowd.
Ava paused at the edge of the amorphous mass of dancing kids. She looked at Mac. “Where did you last see Claire?”
Mac’s face was pale. “In here, I think.” She stood on her tiptoes, trying to see over people’s heads.
