by Amelia Wilde
I decide not to tell him about that part.
“I got her fired from her job.”
Christian’s mouth drops open. “What the fuck?”
“It was killing her, man. She was going to lose it. The only thing is, I didn’t get a chance to tell her about the plan I had.” I run my fingers through my hair. “She got so fucking angry at me that she dumped me, and then she had to run home for an emergency with her sister.”
“Jesus, Jax. And you haven’t gone to talk to her yet?”
“She left New York.”
“So?”
“So, she’s in a different state with her family.”
“And you have a private jet.”
“She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
Now it’s Christian’s turn to roll his eyes. “People say stupid shit in the heat of the moment. Are you absolutely sure?”
“Pretty sure.”
“That doesn’t sound a hundred percent to me.”
“What the hell do you expect me to do?”
Christian slaps me on the back like I’m his junior employee and he’s a sixty-year-old CEO. “Well, Jax, I tell you this as your best fucking friend in the entire world: stop being such a controlling jackass and trying to take over her life. Also, if you miss her enough to interrupt parties over her, just go see her. It’s never too late for love.”
“Shut your damn mouth. Never too late my ass.”
“Are you coming back in or not?” Having imparted his wisdom, Chris is already turning to head back into the club.
I brushed it off, but his words have started the gears turning in my head.
There’s only one way to find out if it’s too late, and I’m not going to try it empty-handed.
“You go. I have calls to make.”
“It’s 1:30 in the morning.”
“Go.”
Christian gives me a jaunty salute and heads for the door. I start dialing. I’m going to need my accountant and my lawyer, and I need them right now.
Because in the morning, I’m going to find Cate.
This is my only chance.
Chapter Forty-One
Cate
It’s not long before I’m back at Bee and Dex’s house. As thrilled as they are with Gabi and Izzy—nicknames set in early in our family—it’s beyond exhausting to have not one, but two newborns in the house, so I’ve been spending my free time cuddling one baby or another so Bee and Dex can take turns napping.
I don’t know how they do it all and still smile at each other. Bee’s more of a mess than I think I’ve ever seen her, and Dex still looks at her like she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life.
For all I know, she is.
One day, Bee sends Dex out for an afternoon with his friends.
“You’ve been here every second since the twins were born,” she says as he stands in the doorway between their living room and their bedroom, looking back and forth from her to me to the babies.
“I’d feel like shit to go out and leave you here.”
“Cate’s going to be here the entire time,” Bee wheedles. “You can go for a couple of hours. These are your friends, Dex. In a few months when I’m not attached to these gorgeous babies all the time, you can return the favor.”
“Okay,” Dex says, his forehead still furrowed.
“Go take a shower and make yourself presentable. Then get out of here.”
Another flash of guilt crosses Dex’s face, but as he disappears into the bedroom I see the corner of his mouth turn up in his signature half-smile. Bee is right. He needs this.
Fifteen minutes later, he emerges wearing a fresh outfit, his face neatly shaven, smelling like his body wash and face brimming with excitement. He gives Bee a kiss that lasts almost long enough to be embarrassing, plants little kisses on each baby’s head, and then grabs his keys.
“Don’t let anything here get too crazy, Cate,” he says to me.
Izzy is asleep on my chest, her soft baby scent filling my nose. “I won’t. Scout’s honor.”
Dex lets out a snort of laughter at my joke and heads out the front door at a clip.
Bee giggles as the front door swings shut. “It’s like he’s a little worried that I’ll call it all off. He misses his friends.”
“I thought he didn’t have many friends here.”
“He kept to himself when he first moved back, but now that he’s involved in the local political scene, he’s found—and I know, it sounds crazy—a couple of good guys that he likes to hang out with. When there’s not a baby crying…which right now is practically never.”
“This must be a special moment, then.” Gabi is curled up in Bee’s arms, snoring softly.
We sit silently in the quiet for a moment, each on our respective sides of the couch. Bee closes her eyes and leans against the backrest. She’s got dark circles under her eyes, but somehow she still looks radiant. Her sandy hair is gathered on top of her head in a messy bun. A hot tendril of envy rises through my chest. I always felt like I had to work harder than my sister to be beautiful, to be valuable. It was always easier for her.
I check that thought.
Maybe it wasn’t.
I guess you never know.
“How did you know, Bee?”
“About what?”
“About Dex.”
She takes a deep breath in through her nose and lets it out. “That I loved him?”
“More than that. How’d you know he was the right one for you?”
“I loved him almost from the moment I saw him. We always had…” Her voice trails off as she searches for the words. “There was always something between us, but it was more than friendship, and when he kissed me the first time, it was like…God, this is so stupidly cliché. It was fireworks.” Bee smiles at the memory.
“But you didn’t date.”
“We were going to. Life just kept intervening.”
“So when you saw him again…”
“That was a wild coincidence. It was one of those split-second decisions. I wanted to show him how over him I was, and at the same time I wanted to know…why hadn’t it worked out? Why had he disappeared from my life for so long? At first, it wasn’t about getting him back. But once we started talking, everything from school came rushing back. Anyway, in the end, you don’t get that many second chances, so I took it.”
As Bee speaks, I remember the Fourth of July, Jax cutting across traffic to talk to me. That was a split-second decision, too, exactly the same kind of thing Bee had with Dex.
“And you’re sure he’s the one for you?”
Bee laughs, a pretty, charming sound. “Cate, is something on your mind?”
“Obviously I can’t hide it from you.”
“Did you and your boyfriend have a fight?”
The tears come so quickly it surprises me. “We broke up.”
Bee is instantly concerned. She raises a hand like she wants to reach for me, but drops it again when I wave her off.
“Don’t wake up Gabi just because I was a total idiot.”
“What happened?”
“He got me fired from my job. Well…transferred. I wouldn’t listen to him long enough to hear the whole story. It happened overnight, and he didn’t say anything. There was a medical emergency with his mother, and we didn’t talk, and he didn’t text, or send any kind of message. The next day I showed up at Basiqué and I’d already been replaced.”
“Wow. That’s a pretty ballsy move.”
“I was really pissed.”
“I bet. It probably doesn’t help that he was right.”
I roll my eyes. “Not you, too.”
“He definitely should have told you, and talked to you about it, and if I ever meet this guy, I’ll tell him that myself. But that job—it wasn’t worth what you were giving it. Would you even be here now if you were still working there?”
I shake my head.
“That’s what I thought. So why don’t you call him up
and tell him you’re sorry, and you can kiss and make up as soon as you see him again.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “It’s too late. He won’t want anything to do with me.”
Bee looks at me for a long moment, then shrugs her shoulders a little. “If that’s what you think. Want to watch a movie?”
“You pick.”
She turns on a romantic comedy that had been popular when we were in high school, and I laugh at all the appropriate parts, but her words ring in my ears.
You don’t get that many second chances.
Chapter Forty-Two
Jax
I’m stepping onto my private plane, everything squared away, my things already stowed in the overhead compartment by my staff, the portfolio with all of my plans for Cate held tightly in my hands, when my cell phone rings in my pocket.
Jesus.
My first instinct is to ignore it, but after all that’s happened lately with Mom, I can’t risk it.
When I pull it out and see the name on the Caller ID my heart sinks.
It’s the nursing home calling.
Fuck. Not right now, not right now…
That thought is followed immediately by a sickening rush of shame. My mother cannot help what’s happening to her. This is no time to be concerned with my own convenience.
What I have to say to Cate can wait.
I hope.
Peter is still waiting next to the car, and I turn and head back down the steps to the plane, waving him over as I answer the call.
“Hunter.”
“Mr. Hunter, this is Angelica from Brookside. I’m calling because we’ve had a medical emergency involving your mother that necessitated a transfer to Mount Sinai—”
I cut her off. “Is she all right?”
“As far as I know, her condition is still serious.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I disconnect the call. “Mount Sinai. Right now, Peter. I’m going to make some calls on the way. I need you to cancel the flight.”
“Of course.”
In ten seconds we’re speeding away from LaGuardia, my heart in my throat. I have to get through to my mother’s doctors and find out exactly what the hell is happening.
I just hope I get there in time.
By the time I walk into my mother’s room at Mount Sinai, she’s resting peacefully against her pillow, looking haggard and somehow much older than the last time I saw her. Every time time I see her like this it guts me all over again. She should have so many happy years left ahead of her.
The doctors briefed me in the hallway before I got here, but their words seemed to slide in one ear and out the other even as they were speaking. Something about organ failure, which sounds pretty fucking terrible if you ask me, but the main idea is that she’s still alive and her condition is stable…for the moment.
I needed to see her. I couldn’t take it all in.
I’ll meet with them later to go over it all again, figure out what the next steps are.
The moment I see my mother’s eyes, I’m flooded with relief.
She knows who I am.
“Hi, Mom,” I say, sitting down on the doctor’s stool next to her bed and taking her hand in mine.
“Jax.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better.” She gives me a wan smile, her eyes sparkling a little. “Some hospital, isn’t it?”
“The best in the city. Only the best for you, Mom.”
Her smile widens a little. “You’re a good son.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“The best son.”
“I’m your only son.”
We both laugh, and I squeeze her hand.
“What’s this I hear about your organs, Mom? Have you not been taking care of them?”
Her face turns serious. “I do try my best, Jax. But I’m not always myself these days.”
“You are right now.”
“I am right now,” she agrees, then sighs. “We haven’t had a chance to talk.”
“You can just rest, if you want. I don’t have any news.”
“No? What happened to that nice girl you were seeing? Lydia?”
I can’t remember ever telling my mother about dating a girl named Lydia, but suddenly I’m overtaken by the urge to tell her about Cate.
“Actually, I was seeing a different girl. Her name is Cate, and she’s…” There’s so much to say about her, but I have no idea how much time I have before my mother’s gone again. “She’s incredible.”
“Well, she’d have to be, in order to be enough for you. What happened to her?”
“What do you mean?”
“You said you were seeing someone. Did she leave you?”
“Yes.” There’s no time for anything but honesty now.
“Why, Jax? What did you do?”
“What makes you think it was my fault?” I try to grin at my mother even as my smile falters.
“I know you.” Her tone is soft but serious.
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll admit it. I tried to…” How can I explain this? Every time I tell someone else what I did, I sound like more and more of a psycho. “I tried to have her job changed. It’s a long story, but the stress was really eating her alive…anyway, the company she worked for let her go before I had the chance to tell her what my plan was.”
“Oh, Jax.” My mom purses her lips, frowning at me, and I’m newly ashamed of what I did. “I hope you apologized.”
“She didn’t want to hear it.”
“But you need her to.” I can’t hide anything from her. Even now, when her mind is in the process of deserting her completely, she can read my face like an open book.
“I do. I actually—I have something planned for her. I was on my way to give it to her when I heard you’d been brought here. And you—” I give my mom’s hand another squeeze. “I couldn’t leave before I was sure that you were okay.”
“Jax,” she says, looking deeply into my eyes. “Jax, you go to that girl right now and make things right.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I can go when I’m sure that everything here is—”
“No.” Her voice is full of authority. No question—I got all of my best qualities from her. “You go right now. I’ll be just fine here. And if I’m not—” She shrugs. “I’m getting old anyway.”
My mom’s eyes are getting heavy. She struggles to keep them open. “All right. Mom knows best.”
“I do.”
I kiss her on the forehead. “I love you, Mom.”
“You…” says my mother, and then she’s asleep.
I turn on my heel. Back to the airport. I have to get to Cate.
Chapter Forty-Three
Cate
I’m taking a turn holding Gabi while Bee and I discuss my options. She opens and closes her tiny mouth as she repositions her head against my shirt. I’ve never been around babies this new before, and despite how unbelievably tiring it seems to be when they wake you up all night, it’s making me reconsider my commitment to having everything totally perfect before I move on to other life phases.
Of course, when I think about that, my mind goes back to Jax. He’s the one I want.
And I had to go and ruin it.
At least Bee is here to help me figure out what comes next in my life.
“What do you think you’ll do?” she says as she changes Izzy’s fiftieth diaper of the day. “Are you going to go back to New York, or do you think you’ll try somewhere else—maybe out West?”
“I don’t know,” I muse, stroking Gabi’s soft head. “If I go back to the city, I’ll have to have a job lined up in a matter of days. I have savings, but not enough that I’d want to blow it all staying in my apartment while I look for a new gig.”
“Cate. Come on. Like people wouldn’t be falling all over themselves to hire you.”
One person fell all over himself to get close to me at any cost, and I pushed him away.
“I wouldn’t know.
I’ve focused so much on Basiqué that I haven’t really been networking.”
“You don’t need a huge network. You have an incredible resume, and everybody who meets you will fall in love with you instantly.”
I roll my eyes. My sister has a high opinion of me, which is wonderful…but it isn’t a guarantee that I can get my life back on track now that my days at Basiqué are over. I’ll give myself another day to wallow in the uncertainty, and then I’ll snap myself out of it and start the job hunt.
You do learn one thing working for Sandra: how to shove your emotions so far down that they don’t stop you from working sixteen-hour days for months straight. Bee’s right. All I really have to do is put the effort in, and I’m sure I’ll find something else.
It just won’t be what I wanted.
I’m pretty sure nothing will be exactly what I want, now that I’ve kicked Jax to the curb. Metaphorically, of course. He probably owns half the curbs in New York City.
That’s where my heart is, in more ways than one, but how could I walk to work today knowing that he’s so close, and so untouchable?
“Maybe I’ll check out the west coast.”
“Whatever you do, don’t sound so excited about it.”
“It’s just that I can’t see—”
A knock at the door interrupts me mid-sentence.
“I’ll get it,” Dex calls from the kitchen, and he makes his way down the hall in a flash. Bee rises from the floor with Izzy in her arms and sways side to side, cooing to her, humming under her breath.
“Uh…hello,” I hear Dex say, and I wonder who it is.
Door-to-door salesmen don’t exist anymore, so it’s probably someone coming by with a gift for the twins. Things have been arriving sporadically since they came home from the hospital—a home-cooked meal here, a box of diapers there. Most people want to help out, but they’re too timid to stay long. And underneath her grateful smiles, Bee’s not looking for too many visitors. She confided that to me shortly after coming home from the hospital. It makes me feel good to know that I’m one of the only people she can tolerate.
